RTYY 148 - Exactly the Same

It smelled good again, Snow realized, taking a deep breath, his body feeling hot and heavy as if it didn't really belong to him.

In the back of his head he knew that someone was touching him, but he just didn't feel like moving, not even to open his eyes. He felt too sluggish. Anyway, it smelled really nice, and all he wanted to do was to go back to sleep surrounded by that nice scent.

All that immediately changed when a large hand touched his waist, really touched him, skin against skin, sending a dreading alarm through his entire body. He immediately tried to escape, but those long fingers quickly transformed into an iron grip, easily holding him in place.

"Calm down! Stop moving! You'll only hurt yourself."

Even though he knew that voice, and the vicious burning sensation on his back told him that he was right, he still couldn't calm down, panic taking over him. Until he noticed … his own hand? It was completely wrapped in something black and smooth. But, no matter how much he blinked, he just couldn't make sense of what it was.

"That's right. I'd really appreciate if you could let go of it. If this goes on, I'll be bald by the time we get out of here."

Snow looked up at him, and then at his hand again, and he finally understood what those dark, soft threads were. Blushing in embarrassment, he quickly tried to untangle them.

"Ouch! Hey! Be more gentle, will you?"

Pursing his lips, Snow forced himself to slow down and carefully unwrapped one lock of hair at the time.

ZaiWin smiled, amused by his serious and flustered expression and, once he was finally done, slid his hand across his hot skin, all the way to his back.

Snow gasped, immediately tensing up, and then cringed in pain, instinctively clenching ZaiWin's sleeve in a useless attempt to stop his hand. More than the horrible pain, he couldn't help feeling disgusted at the idea of ZaiWin touching his back the way it was now.

"Don't … touch it …"

"I know it hurts, but you have to bear with it a bit more."

Feeling miserable and wretched, Snow lowered his head, wishing he could just disappear. He'd felt ashamed and mortified many times in his life, but never like this. And although he did his best to hold it in, tears still flooded his eyes and slid down his face.

ZaiWin looked down at the small human ball before him and immediately noticed the soft, almost imperceptible sobs that racked through his body. Was he crying? Was he hurting him so much?, he couldn't help worrying. That shouldn't be the case. Of course he knew that his back still hurt, but the worst of it should have already passed. Stretching his other arm, he scooted closer to him and tried to hold him in a comforting embrace.

"Don't cry. I know it hurts. But you'll be fine in no time. I promise. Just bear with it for a moment and try to relax, okay?"

Instead of relaxing, Snow held on to him even harder, leaving a sigh on his lips.

Since gentle words weren't taking him anywhere, and he really wanted to get that over with as quickly as possible, ZaiWin grabbed him by the back of his collar pulled him, forcing him to straighten his back. Snow gasped again, this time obviously from pain, and clenched his teeth, making his best to bear it in silence, his face completely washed in tears.

"Stop crying!" he demanded, annoyed at the sight of all those tears, even more annoyed at the idea that he had been the one to make him cry, and Snow immediately pursed his lips together, trying his best to obey. His cheeks were still reddened and he still felt abnormally hot, which meant he still had a fever.

Lowering his head, ZaiWin rested his forehead against his. Snow felt even warmer than him, and ZaiWin had always had a body temperature slightly higher than normal.

"Won't you trust me, Snow?" he asked more softly, and Snow's sobs seemed to dwindle a bit. "I may not tell you everything, I may even hide a few things for you. But I will never lie to you. And I'm telling you that I know that I can make you better. Won't you allow me to try? Won't you help me?"

Snow raised his gaze to look at him, at those cold, blue eyes now so close to him.

Releasing his sleeve from his tight grip, he let go of his shame and disgust. He let go of his fear of what ZaiWin might be thinking of him. He even let go of his discomfort at the knowledge that someone was touching him. Closing his eyes, Snow did as he was told and relaxed, pretending he was asleep.

"Good boy," he felt ZaiWin whisper against his face, and then warm lips were pressed against his forehead and stayed there, as the hot hand pressed harder against his back. It burned so much that he couldn't help wince, but he still stopped himself from reacting against it, focusing on the warm breath caressing the top of his head instead.

He couldn't tell how long it had passed, or what had actually happened. He wasn't even sure that he hadn't ended up falling asleep. All he knew was that when he woke up again it was getting darker and colder, and the tenuous red light that had illuminated that small space was gone. His head, however, was still leaning on something warm. Not necessarily soft, but warm, just like the hand covering his head. And then he saw ZaiWin right in front of him, his nose practically glued to his, apparently asleep again.

The feeling of something warm sliding across his back left him immediately alert and tense, and yet … the burning sensation was gone, he realized in disbelief. In fact, he felt much better. His fever was gone as well, and he didn't feel as sick as before.

The feeling of fingers sliding lazily up and down his back sent shivers down his spine, and he glared at the beautiful face pretending to sleep right in front of him.

"Stop it!"

A small smile stretched ZaiWin's lips but nothing else changed, nor did that hand obey him.

"I said stop!" he repeated, grabbing his arm, and his wish was finally granted.

"Why …? It's not like this is the first time I've touched your back …"

Snow immediately blushed, relieved that he was keeping his eyes shut and couldn't see his cheeks turn red, and tried to unwrap ZaiWin's arm from around his waist.

"That was different! Now you're just making fun of me!"

"Teasing … The word is teasing …" ZaiWin whispered back and Snow blushed even deeper, to the point that he couldn't help wondering if his fever had returned. And yet, something was odd about ZaiWin again. Before he'd been practically like his usual self, but now he was back to looking as if he wouldn't be able to lift a single finger, his face too pale, his voice bearably audible, sounding even lower than his own.

"Are you sick …?"

ZaiWin smiled again. It was strange seeing him smile so often, when before he'd been so cold and serious all the time.

"What about you …? Feeling better …?"

"Hmm … yes," he replied, recalling how ZaiWin had assured him that he could make him better, and ZaiWin sighed.

"Good … I know that they're not completely cleansed yet … but you can take a look at them now … Try doing that exercise I taught you … I know your markings well. But nothing can compare with your knowledge of them …"

"You mean that … I should try to cleanse them and realign their nature? But things aren't the same anymore."

"They are exactly the same … as far as I can recall them. That's why now you should check them …"

Snow felt really uncertain about that. Sure, he was feeling much better, the burning pain completely gone. But he couldn't help being afraid of what he might find, once he focused on his daitai.

The hand on his back came suddenly alive again, startling him, pulling him closer until he was firmly wrapped by ZaiWin's arms. The panicking response immediately flooded his brain, his heart beating harder, stealing his breath away. But then he was surrounded by that nice scent again, and the warmth of ZaiWin's body felt surprisingly reassuring.

"Don't be afraid … You'll be fine …"

Even if that wasn't true. What was the point of trying to run away from something imprinted on his back?

"What … about you …?" he mumbled against his chest and felt ZaiWin take a deep breath.

"I'll sleep for a while …" he declared and, as if he'd really fallen asleep just like that, the strength of the arms holding him completely faded away. Now Snow could easily get away from him if he wanted to. Could easily get away from that place, easily leave him behind, easily kill him, even. But he simply closed his eyes and, gathering all his courage, did as he'd been told.

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Little Snow is all better now 😊 (and is it just me or ZaiWin is taking a bit of advantage of the whole situation?! 😏) As always, bad, bad ZaiWin! 😉