Releasing a deep sigh, Snow finally allowed himself to relax. To which LanWan immediately laughed at, glancing sideways at him, a mocking smile on his lips.
"Let me guess. Enough bottled anxiety for one day."
Snow sighed again. He really wished LanWan would take his difficulties a bit more seriously.
"I just wish they would stop doing that."
"That's probably never going to happen," LanWan sang back casually.
"Clearly not! It's actually getting worse day by day!" Snow criticized and glared angrily at him. "It's all because your father keeps insisting on this all Holy, Sacred thing! I heard that they're even teaching it at the academy, now! How I descended from the Heavens, and how blessed and lucky they all are because I was sent here!"
"Well, you did descend from the Heavens. And we are truly blessed and lucky that you're here."
"That's not what I mean and you know it!" Snow angrily retorted and LanWan sighed, gently holding his hand, his warmth immediately erasing the anger that had sent Snow's heart into a furious beating.
"I know, I know," he condescended, apparently finally willing to take him seriously. "But you see. There's no denying it. You really are this sacred, precious treasure that has been sent from the Heavens to help us in our time of need. Thanks to you, this winter, hundreds of families won't go hungry, children and elderly people won't starve to death, and disease won't take them in their sleep. And yet, it's unavoidable that something as precious as you will incite both feelings of adoration and gratitude, like the ones that family was showing, and feelings of greed and possessiveness, in those around you. Because there's only one of you. And powerful rare things like you will inevitably grant great power to those who are able to claim possession over you. As such, the rarer and more precious other people perceive you to be, the more powerful those who own you will become. Hence the need to make sure that everyone is well aware of just how precious and sacred you are."
Snow stopped walking and frowned.
"But I am not a thing! Or a treasure! I am not an object that others can simply own!" he contested, to which LanWan replied with a resigned smile.
"I know that. On the other hand, the more they're able to control you, the more similar to an object you become. Which makes it all the easier to hold on to the power that comes from owning something precious like you."
"I am not an object!" Snow insisted and LanWan took his hand to his lips, placing a warm kiss on his soft skin.
"I know you're not. You clearly have a mind and a will of your own. Isn't that exactly why we're having this conversation right now?"
Snow averted his gaze and pouted.
"Would you rather if I were like that? Just obediently doing what others tell me to do?"
The sudden way LanWan pulled him by his hand made Snow stumble and fall against his warm chest. Two strong arms immediately surrounded him, holding him in place, gently squeezing him against that firm body. Looking up, Snow was immediately captured by the bright green eyes staring down at him, the way they glowed making his cheeks heat up.
"I wouldn't change a single thing about you. Not a single thing," he declared, and then a mischievous smile took over his face. "But I wouldn't mind if there were more like you. That way I could simply take you away and no one would care or chase us until they brought us back. And then I would have you all to myself."
Snow frowned again.
"How many times do I have to tell you! I am not …"
"An object. I know," LanWan easily finished his angry complaint. "And yet, in this, I'm no different from my father. I too, want you all to myself. I hate having to share you with all these people, even though I know that this is the only reason why you're here. That you're saving a lot of important lives."
Snow lowered his gaze and sighed, leaning his forehead against LanWan's chest.
"Even though you have to share me like this, you're the only one that I'm truly willing to follow. Besides, I know this is what you want as well. You want me to help these people."
The arms around him held him a bit tighter.
"I want you to help these people. But I want a lot more than that. I may not look like it, and I'm probably very good at disguising it, but I too, am a very greedy man."
Leaning his chin against LanWan's chest instead, Snow looked up at him again. He really liked the way LanWan's green eyes seemed to glisten when he looked at him like that, a silenced intense hunger swimming in the darkest shadows of his gaze.
"All you have to do is ask. I will always listen to your requests."
LanWan smiled, a very feral, dangerous smile.
"Someone like you should never say something like that. Not even to me. Who knows what I may end up demanding?"
"I don't care. Whatever you want. I'll give it to you."
Releasing a deep sigh, LanWan placed a warm kiss on Snow's forehead and released him, holding his hand again and towing him down the pathway.
"You give me too much credit."
"I know you," Snow immediately replied, following his calm pace. "I know your heart. You may want many things. But, in the end, you will only ask me one of those things. You won't even ask me what I want you to ask."
LanWan chuckled warmly but didn't turn back to look at him.
"And what is that?"
Snow didn't even hesitate.
"Ask me to never leave your side. Ask me to stay with you forever."
"Ah," LanWan breathed. "I can't possibly ask you that, now can I? No matter how much we try to ignore it, in the end, you and I, we're very different existences. In time, I will eventually grow old and die. You, on the other hand, are a Celestial Being. You will probably look like this for many, many years to come. And you will still be walking the land and fulfilling your mission, long after I'm gone."
Snow lowered his head, a painful weight on his chest. Although it was nothing new to him, he would still be caught off guard, now and then. Even though he knew that, by now, he should have been more than prepared. Because he'd long learned that LanWan's righteousness, that he admired so much, could also be very painful to bear.
"I … don't want that …" he simply muttered, before he could even realize what he was saying.
Like always, LanWan laughed lightly, the warm sound of his voice filling the lonely coldness that had suddenly taken over his heart.
"So you want to grow old and die as well?"
Snow nodded without a second's hesitation.
"Would another like you come to take your place then?"
"I really don't care," Snow replied.
LanWan immediately stopped, turning to finally look at him, all laugher and joyfulness gone from his face.
"Please care. You said it yourself. There's only one thing I will ever ask of you. Please keep my only request in mind. If possible, cherish it inside your heart as well."
Snow averted his gaze, feeling both angry and sad.
"You would have me live who knows how many years, all alone, just so I can keep blessing the land."
"I would have you place the lives of all these people, who depend on you to live, above anything else. You haven't seen what I've seen, what hunger and disease can do, small children and newborn babies being put in the ground on a daily basis. It's pure misery, and hopelessness, and helplessness. Only you can put a stop to all of this. Please love these lives as much as you love mine."
Snow's gaze plummeted even lower, all the way to his own feet.
"You should never have been allowed to stay here, in the first place," he grumbled in annoyance. "This is no place for people like you to live. The land is too stubborn and willful."
LanWan raised a confused eyebrow at that.
"Stubborn and willful?! The land?" he asked, as if to make sure, and Snow looked up at him, a critical expression on his face.
"Why? Do you really think that only you, two-legged creatures, can feel such things?" he demanded, to which LanWan blinked, almost as if he had been suddenly and unexpectedly slapped across the face. "The land too, has it's own thoughts, it's own feelings, it's own needs. And this land simply doesn't like you. Why do you think it constantly refuses to grow your food? It's not like it's barren or infertile. Many different, beautiful things grow from this land."
LanWan's eyes widened in understanding.
"Just not … our food."
"Because you're too rude! Too possessive and demanding. Taking all you can, and giving nothing in return! How would you like it? Of someone suddenly came out of nowhere and ordered you to grow a beard? Not only that. You had to grow a blue beard, and it had to reach all the way to your knees. Only so they could cut it off without as much as a warning, and order you to grow a new one. I'm sure you would tell them all to beat it!"
LanWan tilted his head to one side, looking honestly pensive.
"You're probably right," he finally conceded. "And if they got too insistent or even threatening, I would probably just kill them and be done with it," he added.
"And yet you're doing that and a lot worse to the land beneath your feet. You're cutting down trees and other vegetation. You're digging into the land as you see fit. You're building on top of it and bathing in its streams. You're lucky it still hasn't simply opened up and swallowed you all."
LanWan looked genuinely alarmed by that.
"Could it actually do that?"
Snow averted his gaze.
"Not unless I tell it to," he grumbled and sighed. "An agreement was struck, when you were allowed to stay here. And it was decided that the land would not be allowed to hurt you or retaliate against you in any way. You would be able to make a home here."
"An agreement?! Wait! You can tell it to swallow us just like that?"
Snow glanced sideways at him and sighed again.
"Because of people like you. People who intrinsically place others' needs above their own. People like you are the reason why you were all allowed to stay. Why I was sent here to make sure that the Heaven's keep their part of the agreement."
"And that is to make sure that we're able to build our home here? That the land will provide for us?" Snow didn't reply. "Who told you all this?"
Looking towards the long path ahead, Snow sighed.
"No one."
"No one?"
"I … just know."
"You just know? What else do you just know?"
Snow shrugged.
"So, you're here to fulfill Heaven's part of the agreement. What's supposed to happen if we fail to fulfill ours?"
Snow shrugged again.
"That I don't know."
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note: Ah, isn't' that a very dangerous question, LanWan-chan? 🤔
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