Underworld gates

Hessian POV

"Senpai, what are you doing?" I hear mash ask me as I continue to flick some seeds on the ground on our trek through the underworld.

"Are those flowers? I thought flowers couldn't bloom down here."

I hear Ishtar ask as she looks at the blooming flowers on the ground. We had decided to journey to the underworld with just us 3 plus Fou. Merlin, Ana and Quetzalcoatl stayed back in case anything happened to Uruk.

"Senpai, why are you leaving flowers on the ground?"

"Ah well, I promised Eresh that I would bring some flowers as offerings when I came to visit" I admit as I didn't stop throwing seeds out.

"They're beautiful" I hear mash say as she gazes at the soft glow coming from them.

"Fou!" the tiny beast sniffed them for a moment

"Eh? You talked to Ereshkigal!? Actually wait, how do you two even know eachother!?"

"Oh, some time ago I rented land from her for about a year. So I guess she's like my landlord/roommate."

"You can rent land down here?!" Is it so surprising? "But you're of the living so it shouldn't have been allowed for you to stay down here!"

"Well, the circumstances of my life and death are a bit complicated." I begin "It's hard to consider me as either so I was an exception." Probably due to the fact that I killed myself so many times that an aura of death began to surround my soul.

"Senpai, that's incredible!"

"What kind of life have you lived?" the goddess questioned out loud as she made distance

I just shook my head and continued forward.

∞

"Answer me...Answer me..." The group stopped in front of a stone gate blocking their path "You who live... You who have fallen into the underworld.... Tell me how your soul should be."

"Now you'll get a question with two possible answers." Ishtar informs "The underworld gates are fair and logical, their job is to test whether a soul is good or evil.

"Good and evil?!" the demi-servant seemed startled at the thought of a gate testing their soul

"You will have seven in tota-"

"Nope!" the young magician stepped forward with a stone in hand

"I still have my residency pass that I used to get past these!" he thrusted the stone forward, for a moment nothing happened.

"Huh, usually the gate would open by no-" white lightning came down from above striking him directly. "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Ereshkigal's voice sounded again from the gate "Your pass has been revoked until further notice, please enjoy your stay"

"WHAT ARE YOU A HOTEL!?" Hessian roared out at the gate

"Now sinful Hessian, answer me...." the goddess completely ignored him

"He got called by name?"

"The standards of hygiene seem diverse but absolute. A cleaned dish over a dirty dish. A coaster over a table. Then.... How many times did Hessian skip out on cleaning duty?"

"Eh?"

"Wasn't it supposed to be a two choice kind of thing?"

"How is this fair and logical!?" Hessian cried out

"Answer meeee..."

"Senpai, this question.... seems incredibly difficult!" Mash exclaimed

"You don't have to tell me that!" he retorted

"Well, only you would know the answer to this. Just be honest" The Venus goddess said from the side

"How am I supposed to remember something like this!? It's not like I remember how much bread I've eaten in my life!" he cried out indignantly

"I'm beginning to feel bad for Ereshkigal"

"Fou..."

"Just answer her already."

"Ughhh" Hessian sighed as he walked up to the gate. "A couple times?" he answered and waited a few seconds. Until lightning struck him down again.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The young magician began to look charred

"In....corrrr....eect" Ereshkigal's voice sounded out again

"Senpai, are you alright?" the demi-servant asked concerned as she looked over the charred magician

"Just take a moment to think about it. It's obvious that this is a question only you should know."

"Onyx....." Hessian called out weakly

[Yes master Hessian?]

"Why... didn't you block those!?" that was a good question as there was normally a barrier of mana guarding him.

[For some reason, the barrier would shut off by itself without my own input. I am currently distressed due to this]

"Must be the lightning then." Hessian concluded "Anyway, do you know the answer?" He honestly didn't know since it really wasn't something he would put in the effort to remember

[284 times] Onyx answered

"That's impossible" he retorted until a dinging sound came from the gate

"Correct!" The gate began to open after that

"Wow, you really are the worst." Ishtar commented

"Fou.."

"Don't worry senpai, I never minded cleaning up after you" The demi-servant began to comfort the young magician as he was dumbstruck at how bad of a roommate he was.

∞

After the first gate, the group continued forward encountering the rest of the gates.

"Answer me...."

"How many times did Hessian disrespectfully tease a goddess"

However every single question was related to Hessian.

"How many times did Hessian blow up the underworld with an insane invention"

"How many times did Hessian fall asleep on the couch?"

"How many times did Hessian curse profanities during competitive play?"

"How many times did Hessian use a goddess as a body pillow in his sleep?"

"OI HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT I DO IN MY SLEEP!?" the young magician roared out indignantly

"Senpai, to think you were in such a relationship with Ereshkigal" Mash said from the side

"Oi, you've seen me bang many other servants back at Chaldea. How does me using her as a body pillow equate to sex!? I never had sex with Ereshkigal!" he clarified

"I don't mind it, Ereshkigal could use some dick. She was always so wound up and serious about her job." Ishtar commented from the side as she now looked incredibly tiny after walking through multiple gates

"Ishtar-san, will you be fine like that?"

"Don't worry about me, I won't be able to fight much against Ereshkigal. But I can protect myself just fine."

"Obviously that goddess is sexually frustrated after being led on for so long." King Gilgamesh said from the side "Perhaps if you bedded her, then she would be more receptive to reason."

It took everyone a moment to process his presence.

"King Gilgamesh! since when did you get here!?" the demi-servant asked

"Oh right, I forgot we actually came down here for you." Hessian muttered as he was exasperated from the constant questioning of his past.

"Good work in coming to retrieve me!" he greeted

"W-we thought Ereshkigal captured you!"

"Hmmph, I did accidentally die but the underworld is like my backyard." he declared with folded arms "I was easily able to let them pass by me."

"Before the gallu spirits came, I hid in the shadows. There, I held my breath and meditated and then, presence concealment." he explained

"I thought presence concealment was a servant skill"

"After I got away from them, I was looking for a good opportunity." he then reached out his hand at the young magician's head and pulled off the panicked mini goddess

"Hahahahaha!"

"Hold it! Stop! Let me go! Damn you!!"

"This was such a hysterical situation that even i couldn't hold myself back any longer!" he said as he shook the goddess "So, I couldn't help but appear before you with a hearty laugh!"

"Hessian, what is this ever so slightly adorably sized Ishtar about?" the king asked

"Ah, it was due to Eresh's curse." the young magician replied

"Have you finally decided that your insignificance should be reflected in your appearance?" he asked as he continued to dangle the Goddess of Venus between his fingers

"He just said it was due to Ereshkigal's curse!!" she whined cutely due to her size

"Ishtar was apparently cursed when she failed her previous descent into the underworld" Mash spoke out from the side.

"That's why every time I go through one of those gates, they take away my divinity away and I keep shrinking!"

"P-pfft, this fool" Gilgamesh held back a laugh as he let go of the goddess

"I knew I shouldn't have come down here to save you!"

"Hahahahaha! This fool! hahahaha. You? Come to save me? Did I somehow die again while I was down here and start hallucinating?"

"Yeah, if that was the case we could've just left you here!"the tiny goddess said "Why don't you just sink further down the abyss?"

"Hah, there's no way i'd do something as boring as that!"

The young magician and demi-servant ignored the two's bickering as they walked towards the direction of Ereshkigal's palace.