Chapter 25

The sun had set hours ago. The moon was nowhere to be found, lost in the sea of dark clouds that blanketed the sky. Ren faced the opening of the cave, his back to the farthest wall. He looked like he might have been keeping watch while Ashton laid on the ground a few feet away from him, but he wasn't at all focused. He stared into the dark forest while his mind was still stuck on the kiss.

The second kiss. 

The first one had been chaste, something he might have been able to forget in time. The second one, however, had been fierce, rougher than Ren knew a kiss could be. It was muddled by the blood lust after Ashton had drank from him. A sort of high that probably made things seem better than they actually were. 

Not probably. It most definitely made the kiss better than it was. After everything, it made him feel guilty. He didn't like having these feelings. It was awful to look at Ashton now and see something he wanted, to not have it, and be shamed for wanting it.

It couldn't make up his mind what was the worst thing about having a thing for Ashton Mantel, but there were too many things wrong with it in the first place that it didn't seem to matter. 

Two kisses. Two times Ashton had pressed his lips to Ren's. Two times Ashton got mad at Ren as if it was him who'd had done it.

He groaned, dropping his head to his folded arms on top his knees.

This was what he was going to do. He was going to pretend none of it had happened. Or rather, he was going to pretend he didn't like the kisses.

Because that was the bigger issue. Maybe it was wrong of Ashton to go around kissing him like he had permission. Actually. It was wrong of him. There was issues with consent and all that though Ren wasn't really hung up on it.

He wasn't angry that Ashton had kissed him out of the blue. He should be. Ashton had no right. 

He wasn't though. 

He liked it. He wanted to do it again.

That was the big problem and he couldn't do shit about it. His feelings weren't an off and on switch he could go fiddling around with. He wasn't some machine who had feelings only when it was convenient for him.

He let out a dark chuckle.

It would be nice to have that power. He'd do anything to be a mindless robot who didn't think about everything and just did what was right.

His pitiful laugh died off. He turned his head so his cheek was pressed to his forearm.

Ashton had his back turned to Ren. He was asleep. His body rose up and down in a steady rhythm. His clothes were in a disarray. There were streaks of mud all over the back of his shirt, the bottom of his pants were torn on the left leg, and his shoes had most definitely seen better days.

Ren was surprised he'd managed to fall asleep after the ordeal the two of them had gone through. But he must have been exhausted. While feeding had healed him, he still needed to rest.

Ren couldn't help it if he watched Ashton far longer than he should have. There was something about the way he looked, even with his back facing Ren, that made it seem like maybe Ashton wasn't really all that bad. It was wishful thinking. Ashton had shown time and time again that even if there was something happening between the two of them, it wasn't going to work out.

He turned the other way. 

He had more choices to decide.

Did he really mean it when he said he would save Ashton?

What was he willing to do to keep Ashton safe?

He squeezed his eyes shut, praying the answer would come sooner rather than later. 

***

Ren would have been more than happy to let Ashton keep on sleeping, but it was sunrise and he was tired of sitting in the muggy cave. His ass had gone numb hours ago. He felt like complete shit.

He trotted over to where Ashton laid and crouched beside him. He hesitated for a moment, his hand reached out to touch Ashton's shoulder. 

He shook off the strange and awkward feeling. The kiss hadn't changed anything. Nothing was going to happen.

He shook Ashton's shoulder hard. "Hey, wake up. It's daylight."

Ashton mumbled something. He swatted in Ren's direction and scooted away from him. 

Ren frowned. "Get up. I'm not going to wait here all day just so they can actually find us."

Sooner or later they were going to find out where they were hiding out. He didn't have the fight within him right then. He felt like nothing more than a bag of bricks.

Ashton turned over roughly. He glared up at Ren. "Then go. I don't give a fuck what you do."

His eyes were slightly lidded. 

Ren snorted. 

Ashton frowned. "What are you laughing about?"

"You look like you're going to pass out. I'm not going to leave you here just for the Society to find you."

Ashton rolled his eyes. "So, you're starting to care about me? Wow. Don't think that's going to get you anywhere."

Ren clenched his fists. He shook his head again to get the angry thoughts out of his head. Ashton really knew how to get under his skin. 

"I will drag you out of here if I have to."

His gut clenched when Ashton got to his feet. Ashton dusted himself off. The care he took to try to make himself look decent was wasted. His clothes were a mess. He scoffed in disgust as he looked over them, but he gave up when it was clear they were just going to stay dirty. 

He stood with his hands on his hips and cocked his head as he looked at Ren. "There. I'm up. Are you happy?"

Ren opened his mouth as if he were going to say something though there were no words he could come up with. He stared, blankly, back at Ashton. Ashton had a look on his face that said "Well?" and Ren had nothing good to say back.

Ashton marched away. He didn't glanced back at Ren. Not even when he stopped at the opening of the cave. He placed his hand on the dirt wall that had dried during the night. The mud that made up everything was now parch dry and felt like chalk when Ren walked. 

Ren could feel him again. He'd tried to cut off their connection completely when Ashton was down under in pain. He didn't need to know how it actually felt. He could see it as plain as day written all over Ashton's face. 

"This was a mistake," Ashton said. He turned his head slightly as if he was going to look at Ren, but he wasn't. He stared into space, not at all seeing the world around him.

His thoughts seemed so loud in Ren's head. Though he knew it was impossible to actually hear them, the emotions struck him so clearly. But when he tried to grab onto them, they disappeared.

"They're going to ruin us."

Ren looked at the ground. His shoes were covered in dried mud. He scraped his heel on the other shoe to get the scale like pieces off.

As he shifted, he felt the gun he'd unconsciously put in the back of his waist band when he got up.

He grabbed it.

The silver was dull into the cave. There was no sunlight to glint off of it. Nothing to bring it alive like he'd seen when the Hunters had used it.

An image of Cipher pointing it in his face flashed before him. The memories of last night came to him—image after image—reminding him that he was never going to be safe until this was actually over.

He turned the gun over. The safety was on. That was the only thing he knew how to do besides pulling the trigger. 

It was heavy in his hand. The surreal feeling of having something so powerful in his hand made his heart tighten. He liked this feeling. He liked knowing he had something that could kill someone in a second.

That made him afraid.

He had an addiction. He loved this. He felt like he couldn't live without this power sitting in the palm of his hand. And the thing within him didn't want to let it go. It wanted this to last forever.

To grow into even more power.

This was going to go too far. He didn't need to think on it. It was there already. The thrumming need to see the world burn. He didn't know where it had come from. It was like when he met Ashton the world had burned and started again. He'd been transported to a dimension where he was nothing more than anger in a shell of a body.

He felt like that too. 

Slowly, he turned his head up from the gun heavy in his hand to Ashton standing like a statue. 

With the flicker of his gaze, Ashton rendered Ren into a fluttering mess. If Ashton tried hard enough, he could command Ren to do whatever he wanted. If it involved blood and mayhem, the thing would gladly go along.

That was another thing he didn't understand. He didn't get why the thing was so obsessed with Ashton. What was there to be interested in? He was good looking, he was arrogant, and he made Ren angry with just a look. He didn't get it. Not at all.

Ashton turned. It was another one of those looks. Ren was getting used to them. They sent butterflies through his stomach, but he wasn't fooled by them anymore. He ignored them just like he ignored the ridiculous hopes that one day he would fall in love.

"What are you doing with that?"

Ren had been caught up in how good Ashton looked even when he was caked with dirt before he realized what he was talking about. He floundered as he looked at the gun and then back up at Ashton.

He attempted to hide it but decided Ashton had already seen it. Hiding it now just made him look dumb.

Instead, he lowered it to his side, finger off the trigger just in case. He didn't know how good safety locks were anyway. He didn't doubt he would somehow find a way to shoot himself even with it on.

He shrugged. "Just in case."

Ashton's brows furrowed. "Is it necessary?"

"I'm not going to leave it here." Ren walked toward him. Just as he did, Ashton took a couple steps back.

Ren stopped and cocked his head.

"Are you—" He held the gun up a slightly higher. Ashton flinched.

His eyes widened in disbelief. "Are you scared of guns?"

Ashton crossed his arms. "I'm not scared of them. Just weary. You should be too after being chased down with them."

He had a point there. Ren had a slight aversion to them, but it was heavily weighed out by the power he felt when he had it on him. 

He was most definitely compensating. 

"Just…keep it pointed away from me." Ashton made a waving motion.

Ren hid it out of Ashton's sight, but he didn't put it away. He'd rather have it drawn if they ran into anyone. 

Ashton gave him a sideways glance as he exited the cave. Ren pretended like he didn't notice. 

It had been a long night. The whole time he'd sat at the back of the cave, thinking about all the ways things could go wrong. Ashton had slept through it all, not waking up once. Ren hadn't expected it to be so lonely. He was used to being on his own. His mom was always working and even when she was home, she was too exhausted to spend time with him.

He didn't blame her. He wished it didn't have to be that way. He wished she could go out and do what she wanted. Not work all day and then still care for him. That had changed when he was older and he knew he had to start doing things for himself. 

Last night had shown him that he was good at being alone. He'd thought a few times he would be the sort to break down. It was one night though. It wasn't even close to what it was going to be like when he went away to the Mines. 

Hours and hours of relentless working in a dark shaft. That was going to be the rest of his life. 

He was lucky he got to enjoy his life here. He was glad he had a mom who cared about him.

The morning light struck him like lightening. He shielded his eyes from the bright rays. His skin immediately warmed as the sunlight washed over him. 

He could breathe again. The cave had been small. The walls had felt like they were one push away from crumbling on top of them. And while he was assaulted by his dark thoughts, he couldn't reach out to anyone. Having the power to sense people's emotions wasn't helpful when he couldn't turn it into something tangible. 

"Where should we go?" He asked. He needed to get his mind off everything else. One foot in front of the other. That was how he was going to make it through this.

Ashton stared out into the closely grown trees. The greenery had flourished after the storm. There wasn't a spot not touched by moss or vibrant perky plants. 

The air felt lighter. Ren breathed it in, filling his lungs to maximum capacity. He held it for a moment too long, releasing it back with a somewhat better clarity. 

The tips of his fingers twitched with restlessness. His legs ached to run until they couldn't run anymore. The swell of energy fizzled to almost nothing when he took a step out. 

It was a sharp contrast from inside the cave. The rain had dampened the ground but the cave was a desert. 

Ashton turned his head left and right. Ren could see how hard he was thinking about something. Furrow lines wrinkled the skin above the bridge of his nose.

"We have to tell my parents. They've been watching us. I think even before that dead girl showed up."

Ren didn't know if that was the best thing to do. He didn't know if he wanted to go back to the Mantel house. They all hated him there. 

And they had history with his mom. He didn't know what it all meant, how far back they all went, but he doubted it was good. His mom would skin him alive if he went back there. She would skin him anyway for leaving.

But he had to get past that. He was changed. Things weren't going to be the same. 

***

"Fucking hell." 

Ashton—for the fourth time—tugged at his shirt. He looked down at it in disgust again.

Ren shook his head. "No matter how many times you gripe about it, it's not going to suddenly become clean."

"Did I ask for your input?" Ashton rolled a look over at him. His glare was almost cute this time. 

"Do I need to ask your permission to speak?"

When Ashton didn't answer, instead, mumbling under his breath while he fidgeted in his ruined clothes, Ren grinned. He smiled as Ashton picked up the pace and marched toward to the familiar path that appeared in front of them.

He didn't expect it to be easy to forget for a few minutes that their lives were on the line. But when Ashton wasn't paying attention to him anymore, all the realities he was avoiding came crashing into him. 

He started to recede into his thoughts when he heard something.

"Did you—"

The words weren't even completely out of his mouth before Ashton slammed his arm into his chest, knocking him off his feet. He plummeted toward the ground at an awkward angle. His elbow hit first, protecting the gun just in case his bad luck decided to strike and set the thing off on impact. He seethed as the sharp pain shot through his arm and up toward his shoulder.

The second it took for him to crash to the ground was enough for Ashton to take a stance in front of him, blocking whatever or whoever had found them.

"Where's the gun?"

Ren's heart went cold.

He scrambled back from where Ashton was shielding him. He'd been caught between Ashton's spread legs and as he got out from under the protection, he saw two familiar figures blocking their path.

Darrien pointed the same type of gun the Hunters' used. Ren almost expected Regan to be right behind him, but he wasn't.

He was alone. 

Ashton held his hands up. It wasn't a surrender. It was a graceful and somewhat sarcastic gesture. As if Darrien had barged in on Ashton's afternoon party and was embarrassing himself. 

"I think we should talk about this," Ashton said in a concerning calm voice. 

Ren felt the second Ashton started using his powers. It was a satisfying release of power.

Darrien's eyes locked onto Ashton's. Ren was sure it had worked.

Darrien blinked and his lips turned down into a frown. "I'm not stupid. I'm not going to walk around with vamps with no protection."

Ashton stopped trying to use his power. He was just as confused as Ren was.

Darrien looked down at Ren. "You have it, don't you? Toss it over."

Ren stared back at Darrien's grim face. He couldn't believe he actually started to think this guy was anything other than a conniving backstabber. But as much as Ren tried to see Darrien as nothing more than a bloodthirsty Hunter, he couldn't. His vision was blurred by how nice Darrien had seemed.

While it might have seemed like Darrien was trying to pull himself out of the close-minded brainwashing he'd grown up in, it really was just a ruse to get Ren to trust him. 

He met Darrien's eyes. He didn't know if he thought he could see the eyes of a killer reflected in them or what. Of course, he didn't find the answer he was looking for. 

Darrien was a blank canvas. He was good at hiding himself.

Ren tossed the gun to the far left. It landed somewhere in the sea of dead leaves, not close to any of them. 

Darrien didn't even glance at it. He stared at the two of them, the gun seemingly weightless in his hand. He looked too calm around it. Like he'd been using it for years.

Ren grew increasingly uncomfortable as the long silent moment stretched on forever. 

"Stand up," Darrien finally said, breaking the unbearable silence. 

Ren looked at Ashton. Ashton still faced forward, not at all moving. Ren wished he could see his face. What he felt between them wasn't enough to get an insight as to what Ashton was truly feeling. It felt hollow. Like he was alone in darkness. 

"Ren."

He caught Darrien's dark eyes. When they looked at each other, Ren couldn't help, but think back to when he first met Darrien. He hadn't quite liked the guy—he'd written him off as another annoying douchebag, but he hadn't thought he was this bad. He still couldn't wrap around his mind that Darrien's father was the head of the organization that had killed thousands of people like him. An organization that wanted him dead.

He glared back at those blank eyes. He hoped Darrien was scared of him. That's why the Hunters hated him so much, right? Because they thought he was a demon, a threat to all humans.

He could be. He could be the creature they wanted. He could be so much worse than they could possibly imagine. 

He stood, keeping eye contact with Darrien the entire time. His stomach twisted and churned, but he didn't feel like he needed to throw up which was a shock. For some reason, he wasn't even nervous about being held at gun point. He should have been just as scared as he'd been when the Hunters had hunted them down like animals.

"We're not going back."

Darrien looked away from Ren and at Ashton.

"If you don't, I'm going to shoot you."

The threat was blunt. It sounded way too crass coming from the teenager. It was sad Ren wasn't even surprised by it. He was too used to being threatened. 

Ashton slowly lowered his hands. Darrien's grip on the gun tightened. His eyes narrowed.

"I don't want to do this."

Ren snorted. He shook his head by how ridiculous this was.

Darrien gave him a curious look. 

"Don't make excuses," Ren almost seethed. "We all know what you're doing is fucked up. You think backhanded apologies are going to make us forgive you? Stop acting like you're a victim in this."

Darrien gave him a long hard look. "I'm not apologizing. I'm saying I don't want to hurt you."

Ren inwardly groaned.

He shouldn't waste his fucking breath on this idiot. It was obvious that no amount of reasoning was going to get through his thick skull. Still, he hated how the Society had done this to someone. He probably thought he was doing the right thing. Either that, or he was trying to make his dad proud.

Ren was sickened when he thought of the man named Cipher. Everything about the guy was wrong.

Darrien crept closer to them. "Both of your hands, up."

Ren put his hands up. Ashton was slower than him. He didn't look at all happy to be bossed around.

Ren's eyes flickered to the gun almost hidden by the tall grass. The handle was pointed back at him in the perfect angle for him to swoop down and grab it. But would he be fast enough before Darrien pulled the trigger?

"Turn around."

Darrien took another step forward. 

Ren looked at Ashton. Ashton was looking back. The second their eyes met, Ren knew what Ashton was thinking. He could feel the tension in the air getting thicker. Time slowed and his eyes zeroed in on Ashton's dark brown eyes.

Ashton gave a small nod, setting the plan into action.

Ren leapt to the side, aiming for the gun. He saw Darrien turn the gun toward him, but before he could take a shot, Ashton slammed into the side of him. The two of them toppled to the ground. Ren scurried to grab the gun. His fingers wrapped around it just as he heard Darrien yell out.

He flipped over onto his back. His chest heaved as he held the gun with both hands and aimed it at the tangle of limbs in front of him.

Darrien sprawled on his back with Ashton on top of him. Their hands fumbled to get a grip on the gun. Darrien stretched his arm out, trying to get out from underneath Ashton.

Ren frantically got up, moving as fast as he could to them. He stood above them.

"Darrien!" He yelled out.

He caught Darrien's attention, but it wasn't until he saw the barrel of the gun pointed straight into his eye that he froze.

This time, when their eyes met, Ren saw the fear. Darrien wasn't prepared for death like Ren was. He wanted to live. And that gave Ren all the advantage.

Sweat dripped down the side of his face. His chest heaved. He stared down at Darrien, his hand steady on the gun. He was in control. It seemed like it was forever since the last time he was in control of himself. There was no sign of the thing within him, no dark thoughts that wanted to see Darrien's brain matter splattered on the forest floor. It was just quiet within him. He'd missed it. 

Darrien struggled to get out of Ashton's grip. He kicked his legs and tried to roll over, but Ashton grabbed his arms and pressed them down above his head.

Ashton flashed his fangs. 

Darrien stilled in horror. "You wouldn't."

Ashton grinned. "There's more than one way to drain a human."

Darrien looked like he was going to be sick.

"Just kill me. Get it over with."

Ashton made a sound of disgust. "We're not going to kill you."

"Then what are you going to do?"

Ren crouched down. The gun was feeling heavy now. It hurt his wrist. But even so, he kept it held to Darrien's temple. He pressed the cold metal to Darrien's skin and he shivered. His eyes turned to look at the gun and Ren.

"You—" He pressed the gun harder into Darrien's temple. "—are going to sneak us back in."

The three of them fell silent as Ren's words sunk in.

"Are you fucking crazy?" Ashton hissed. 

Ren turned his head to glare at him. "I know what I'm doing."

"Really? So you're going to lead us back to the place where we almost died?"

Darrien groaned. Ren and Ashton looked down to see Ashton had almost broken Darrien's arms.

Ashton loosened his grip before turning back toward Ren. "What you're thinking is insane."

He was right. The plan Ren had thought up had only a small percentage of succeeding. All odds would be against them. But there really was no way they were ever going to get out of the cycle of being chased by the Society unless they cut the cancer at the source. 

They needed evidence of what the Hunter Society was doing. They needed it to keep them safe until they could clear their names of the murders. And the evidence was in Cipher's office. 

"They're going to find us anyway," Ren said. "They know who we are. They're going to kill us. It's just a matter of time. And we won't have anything to defend ourselves when it happens."

It would be the word of the Society against theirs. 

Ashton looked down at Darrien. Ren did as well, meeting the Hunter's eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day. He stared back at Ren like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. And maybe Ren was a complete idiot for believing his plan had a chance at working. He just didn't see how anything else was going to save them from the impending death. And he also had to think about his mom. While he didn't want to care about the Mantels either, he wasn't coldhearted enough to wish their death.

Darrien turned his face to the side, his cheek meeting the ground. "I'm not going to help you."

Ren pulled the gun away. "Do you think you have a choice?"

Darrien seized the opportunity and punched Ashton in the face. Ren didn't have the time to think how the hell Darrien had gotten out of Ashton's grip before he was tackled to the ground. Darrien knocked the gun out of Ren's hand. He was thrown onto his back and then Darrien's hands were wrapped around his throat.

But he didn't squeeze. 

His fingers trembled against Ren's skin. 

Shock. Disgust. Ren couldn't tell if the emotions were targeted toward him or Darrien. They were a cloud of smoke that blinded him against the rest of the world. They were such thick emotions—like they'd been bottled up for years and this was the first time they'd seen daylight.

Ashton stood above Darrien, ready to haul him off, but Ren raised his hand to stop him.

Darrien was trembling. 

"You're not going to kill me," Ren softly said.

Darrien laughed, but there was no humor in it. It was bland. Lifeless. "How can you be so sure? My dad wants to kill you. Everyone in this town wants to kill you."

 Ren placed his hand on Darrien's arm. Darrien flinched at the touch, but he didn't pull away. 

"I trust you."

Darrien yanked his hands away. He stared at Ren like he'd slapped him across the face. It was then that Ren could see how destroyed Darrien was on the inside. He reminded him of Ashton in that way. They were similar. Both broken by parents should have been there to protect them. 

Darrien scrambled off of Ren. He didn't try to get to his gun. Instead, he stood, covering his face with his hands. He shook his head.

"He's right. You're crazy."

Ren got up, picking the gun off the ground again. He put it into the back of his pants. "I might be. Are you going to help us?"

Darrien was silent for a moment. Ren wasn't entirely sure he'd gotten through to him. He just hoped that what he saw in Darrien and what he felt from him was enough to make Darrien choose the right path. Ren didn't fully believe Darrien was a bad person. He was someone who was influenced to do bad things. 

Everyone made mistakes.

Darrien ran both of his hands through his hair. He rested them on top of his head, staring out into the dark forest. 

Ren took a step toward him. The wet brush crunched beneath his feet. He caught Ashton watching him from the corner of his eye. 

They both thought he was out of his mind. That was okay. He didn't care as long as his mom was going to be safe at the end of all this.

"What am I getting out of this?"

Ren paused. 

"What do you want?"

Silence again. This time, much heavier. Like a weight was resting on top of Ren's lungs.

Darrien tilted his head. It was a mere fraction, just enough for his eyes to gloss over Ren's still form.

"I don't know."

Ren looked away. He didn't know why, but he felt like he should. Almost as if he was overstepping somehow.

"Fine." Darrien dropped his arms down to his sides. He turned abruptly, marching up to Ren.

Ashton stepped up as well. The three of them met together with only a couple feet between them. Ashton gave Darrien a hard stare. 

"My threat still stands."

Darrien gave him a dull stare. "Clearly."

"Do we have a deal?"

Ren held out his hand.

A small moment passed as Darrien looked at Ren's outstretched hand and then at Ashton's piercing gaze. Ren could almost see his thoughts rolling around in his head. 

"We do," he said and then shook Ren's hand. 

His grip tightened, tugging Ren toward him slightly.

"I'm not on your side." The depth of his eyes almost swallowed Ren whole as he gazed into them. "I'm not on anybody's."

Ren gave a nod. Darrien yanked his hand away.

"I'm going to get you in and that's it. If you get caught, I'm not with you."

"Good," Ashton voiced. He rolled his eyes, walking over to Darrien's gun.

He picked it up and turned it over in his hands, an incredulous expression on his face. Darrien marched over. He held out his hand. Ashton snorted.

"Did you really think I was going to let you have this back?" Ashton grinned, showing off his white teeth. He put the gun away in the same spot Ren had his.

Darrien gaped. "Are you serious? How am I—"

"I guess you're just going to have to figure it out, Hunter." Ashton slapped Darrien on the back.

As he walked past Darrien, he sent a smirk Ren's way. Ren frowned. 

Darrien looked to Ren for help and Ren just shrugged him off. He wasn't going to fight with Ashton over this. While he did trust Darrien to not kill them, he needed Ashton to trust Ren's judgement more. 

As they walked back into the hell they'd only just escaped, Ren prayed he wasn't sending him and Ashton to their death.