So Sorry

She struggled to regain her breathing and crawled over to the outlet and plugged the computer back in. She knew she was doing something stupid but she had to let Matt know what happened. She couldn't lose her sunshine. The computer finally restarted and she opened ICX as quickly as she could. There were more messages from Matt. "So what's more important than my love confession?" "You're seriously going to make me wait like this?" "Hello!?" "Just forget it. Forget I even bothered letting you know how I feel." Dawn panicked and began typing as fast as she could. "Matt I'm so sorry! My dad came in and he's in a really bad mood and wanted me offline and I tried to get him to let me talk to you first but he got really mad and we got into a fight. I'm really sorry! I promise I really truly love you. More than you could know! Please believe me!" Dawn sat staring at the computer in fear of what the reply would be. She was scared that her dad would come back to find that she was back online as well so she kept listening for footsteps. She knew she was testing her luck but she couldn't help it. She could bear the physical pain much easier than the mental. She had plenty of practice with physical pain anyway so what was a bit more? She had to make Matt believe her though. If he broke up with her she would be left with nothing again. She couldn't stand the thought of going back to that existence. Finally a reply came in. "You say you love me but you won't even stand up to your parents for me?" Dawn replied quickly, "I'm sorry, I tried but dad was really mad so I got a spanking. I will do better next time. Please don't be mad." She could only explain it this way. She didn't want him to worry and she was ashamed of not being able to stand up for herself more. Her parents always told her that if she told anyone anything that went on at home that the government would take her away and put her in foster care. They told her that foster parents were far worse than she ever knew and she would be raped, kept in a closet and beat far worse than she thought she had it now. So she was definitely wary of letting anyone know the extent of her spankings. Matt's reply came back a few minutes later, "How am I supposed to believe you when you're always making me doubt that you care about me? How can you prove to me that you really love me if you're so scared of a little spanking that you would blow me off? Are you that much of a baby? Can't handle any pain?" Dawns heart dropped. She thought, "I really need to figure something out.. I am being so selfish and expecting him to put up with my excuses all the time. I need to be better at standing up to dad.. If I could have withstood and sent the message earlier I wouldn't be in this mess.." She didn't know what to say to him so she simply replied, "I'll do anything you ask. I will prove it any way you want me to. What should I do? I will be stronger. I am not scared of pain, only of losing you." She didn't expect the message that came next. "Tomorrow at school, show me that you love me. If you're not afraid of pain then hurt yourself and let me see that you're not afraid. A little pin prick doesn't say much so I need to see that you're no coward. Show me that you did and I'll believe you completely." Dawn chewed her lip and typed "ok" before turning the computer off and rushing out the back door.