Chapter 8

Between spring and summer, 2006

All she could see, or chose to see, was his incredibly dark pupil. But it's been several minutes (she assumed), that she's starting to wonder how the two of them got stuck in this situation. Though several thoughts ran through her mind, she remained still, not wanting to back down. If she was going to lose, she was going to do it gracefully.

"Okay. How LONG are we going to be doing this?" Megan finally broke their silence, though she refused to break her stare.

"Until you lose," Jared answered in his usually cool tone. Deep down, he was actually close to giving up.

Megan frowned at his seemingly solid resilience. "You wish."

Almost immediately, he blew towards her eyes.

She instantly squinted and scoffed, "Cheater."

"I never said I planned to win fair and square." He flashed her an innocent grin.

"Har-har." She made a face and rolled her eyes at his smug expression.

"Okay. Can you two, for just one second, stop flirting?" Jacob protested from a nearby couch.

They were lucky that it was only the three of them in the room. Otherwise, the adults outside (in the middle of the usual shenanigans of a Filipino party) would be having a field day with the development between Megan and Jared.

The two best friends simultaneously turn to look at him, rather surprised. They had to admit that they did forget that Jacob was in the same vicinity as them.

"We're not flirting." Megan was the first to refute the young boy's statement.

"We're playing," Jared added with a shrug.

Unimpressed by how obviously in denial the both of them were, Jacob could only put on the most disgusted expression in the world. "God, whatever. Just wait until everyone else gets here."

Megan snorted. "Like that's a threat."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want me to mention Logan and Odell?" Jacob attempted to push her buttons.

"Ooohhh shiver me timbers, matey!" Megan taunted with matching sarcastic gestures.

Jared, who was observing her actions for a while, managed to let out a snort and a laugh.

"Unbelievable." Jacob rolled his eyes, done with how blatantly the two of them were so in love with each other and proceeded to leave the room.

Megan then turned to her best friend and asked in a serious manner, "So, for real. Do you have a date for Spring Fling?"

"No. Aren't we both going stag?" Jared replied like it's the most evident concept to ever exist.

She avoided his eyes, but continued, "Well, yeah. But I heard Brittany asked you."

He couldn't help but bite a smile back because of her sudden bashfulness. "Why would I go with Brittany?"

"Be…cause… she's pretty and is one of the most popular girls in our grade," she fumbled for a bit but got a proper reason out.

"Well, it would be different if I actually liked her, you know," he reasoned. "Since when did you care about popularity?"

"Since we entered the hell that is seventh grade." She sighed and tried her best to keep her negative thoughts about school go away. "Since when did YOU not?"

"Forever. Who cares?" He shrugged.

"Of course, you wouldn't care. You're practically best buddies with Benji," she stated.

He paused for a second and studied her expression before raising an eyebrow suspiciously. "Is this what this is about? Me being friends with someone like Benji?"

"Well, yeah…no… maybe?" she stuttered, feeling rather stupid. "What I mean is…is he really okay with you going stag?"

"Yeah."

"Because we both agreed on it?"

"Yeah. It's just a dance, Megatron. How far can twelve and thirteen-year-olds go on a Spring Fling anyway?" He winked at her teasingly, implying something else entirely.

Not quite catching on, she only made a face and shook her head in response.

Right then, someone entered the room and suddenly shouted, "You're still here?!"

Jared immediately casted an impatient glare at his little brother. "Why don't you just play the Goddamn game while we're both here?!?!"

"Because you're mushy and gross," Jacob replied with utmost honesty. He's been waiting to play that new Call of Duty game on the PlayStation since he and his brother arrived. The only room that had the console was the one that they were in, so what else was he supposed to fucking do?

"Says one of the guys who consistently teases us about getting together," Megan remarked snidely.

"ARE you, though?" Jacob blurted the question out unexpectedly and almost instantly, the three of them are engulfed in silence.

"OY! Why are we PAITING*?!" Odell suddenly barged in the room, sensing some weird negative vibe lurking.

"Stop paiting!!" Logan cackled, adding to his best friend's comment.

Since Megan and Jared are kind of outnumbered and the girls haven't arrived yet, they decided to talk more outside of the house. Far from the unusual, they strolled along the beach despite the darkness the evening brought. Their sources of light were coming from a couple of street lights nearby and the distant lighthouse at the end of the beach.

"Okay… you're holding my hand," Megan blurted out, feeling even shier than usual. Their fingers were even intertwined.

"Why? Is it not okay if we hold hands?" Jared playfully asked.

"No, no. I just—" she was quick to answer, as a certain memory from their Kindergarten graduation pops in her mind. "The last time we did…"

"You called me Sweaty McSweat," he immediately finished her sentence, knowing exactly what moment she was pertaining to.

A hearty laugh escaped her mouth.

Though just as amused, he made an effort to hold his chuckle in and recounted their little incident,n "And I spitefully and RANDOMLY called you Megatron… before we parted ways and sat in different rows in the auditorium."

"Wow! Supersonic memory all of a sudden!" she remarked sarcastically.

"You scarred me by making fun of my sweaty palms." He shared a teasing glare. "Who knew you were such a brat at such an early age??"

"Hey. To be fair, I was witty as well," she countered.

He merely chuckled as they both sat down on the sand, barely touching the shore and having an ethereal view of the moon. They maintained their comfortable silence for some time, only the sound of the ocean waves surrounding them.

But it's not long before Megan let out a sad sigh. "I don't know what I'm gonna do about moving to the Philippines."

"Well, you're gonna move. It's not like we have a choice." Jared's reply would seem cold to a lot of people, but Megan knew that he always meant well with what he said. He was neither an optimist nor pessimist; a realist if you will.

"True."

"And we can still MSN."

"But it's not gonna be the same," she argued in a slightly whiny tone. "We're not going to have… this." She gestured between the both of them. "Random walks on the beach and… deep talks about life. Joking and teasing each other." She then quietly continued in a whisper, "Holding your hand…"

His eyes snapped to her as he grabbed her hand again. "You're the one that let go."

They became silent once more.

"We'll see each other every summer though," Jared reasoned.

She gazed at him and made a sincere promise without thinking, "Every summer."

He looked right back at her and nodded.

"You won't hate me?" she squeaked. Then, she does her usual habit with her lips whenever she was nervous.

He chortled, amused at how cute she was appearing at the moment. "No, of course not. I might hate your parents a little bit but…"

She instantly laughed, knowing well that his response was more than true.

"I could never hate you," he then continued in a sincere manner.

Her heart skipped a beat as always like it hasn't had enough whenever she was with him.

In turn, he naturally felt obliged to return an even more heartfelt smile.

And just like that, nothing else needed to be said.

***

The minute Megan entered her designated building (for seventh and eighth graders), she instantly knew something was up. People who were passing her by the hallways unashamedly gawked at her and then would proceed to whisper to whoever they were with, or run somewhere else to gossip. She hadn't felt this self-conscious since the fifth grade when she gained a lot of weight with plenty of baby fat to spare. She could only hope that she was just hallucinating and her peers were all talking about someone walking behind her.

When she finally arrived at her locker (which seemed to take forever) to get her books for the first period, a random classmate of hers approached her.

"So, did you hear??"

Megan really tried her best to appear nonchalant, but there was a certain slight quiver in her voice, "About what? I just got here…"

"Oh, come on. You MUST'VE known at some level." Lorraine folded her arms across her chest, unsatisfied with Megan's answer. "About Jared."

Megan furrowed her eyebrows. Was he walking behind me a while ago? He would've said something… She thought, feeling a tad relieved that the rumor may just be about her best friend and not her. "What? That he'd die for Star Wars?"

"No!" Lorraine giggled. "That he likes you!!"

"What?" Megan was left dumbfounded as her heart sped up at the revelation.

"Literally everyone in the building is talking about it," Lorraine gushed with some sort of starry look in her eyes.

Megan frowned, though feeling the opposite deep down. "I highly doubt that," she lied, knowing very well of her paranoia towards the weird vibe when she entered the building.

"You hang out with Jared, who happens to be close friends with Benji," Lorraine explained, "Of course people are gonna know about you."

"Right, whatever." Megan rolled her eyes at the thought of the popular clique in their grade.

"Someone's getting a date for Spring Fling and a boyfriend," Lorraine teased in a singsong voice.

"We're just… friends. Best friends, okay? I'm sure this is a misunderstanding." But if Megan was going to be completely honest, she was hoping that it wasn't.

Megan wouldn't be meeting with Jared until recess. It was a routine between them. They spent the first half of it discussing all sorts of topics while eating. Then, later on, they would split into their own group of friends at school.

Just as she was about to head to their meeting place, she overheard her best friend's voice by the boys' bathroom. Location of said bathroom was definitely in the way of their usual spot. Unless she opted to go for the longer route, which no one ever really took. So, she decided to listen in on the conversation, curious about what exactly was the center of it.

"I don't like her that way, Benj. You know that." Jared's tone was both light and serious.

"I know. I just wanted to nudge you a little bit. Get you a date for Spring Fling," Benji replied with a shrug. Though he's not the source of the rumor, he was the one who practically amplified it in their entire building.

Jared merely shook his head at this, knowing of his friend's devious nature.

"I mean you both arranged to go stag anyway, so might as well just go together," Benji pointed out, quite exasperated.

"It's not like that, okay? She's like my little sister," Jared insisted, despite feeling otherwise.

Megan scoffed to herself, upon hearing his heart-wrenching stance, and swiftly left the area. Luckily, she had already bought her food awhile back when she went out of the classroom to 'go to the bathroom'. So, she headed straight to her and Jared's recess spot.

Benji scanned his friend's stoic face and tsked at how good Jared was at hiding his true emotions. "Yeah, okay." He decided to give up his interrogation for now and go about his business in the washroom.

Jared took this as his cue to leave and finally meet up with Megan in their usual spot near the building's fire exit.

As expected, she was already there (barely arrived and settled in), munching angrily on her chicken cheeseburger. What she always ate when her mom didn't pack up something from home.

"Hey Megatron," he greeted with a warm smile.

"Hey," she greeted back, not even sparing him a glance.

"You alright?" he asked, puzzled by her unusually cold behavior.

"Peachy," she responded shortly, though instinctively handing him her Mountain Dew. Another habit they never grew out of ever since they became close.

Jared gladly accepted the beverage and suddenly remembered what happened so early this morning. "Oh, right. You must've heard about the rumor."

Megan chose to say nothing, hyper-aware that he probably won't figure out why exactly she was upset. Instead, she took back her drink begrudgingly.

"You know that's not true."

Right. "Yup got the message pretty clearly."

"This is just like last month." He steered the subject elsewhere, wanting his best friend to lighten up a bit, and decided it was safe to sneakily get another sip of the Mountain Dew.

A month ago, a rumor had spread that Megan had a crush on Lucas, another popular boy in their grade. "The difference being I ACTUALLY liked him at some point," she argued, snatching the soda away from him.

"Right…" He was going to have to give up on the drink for now. He then nodded in understanding and proceeded to ask about something that's been bugging him for a while. "You don't still like him, right?"

She shot him an unimpressed glare. His question was utterly stupid. "I already told you. Ever since I found out he liked Brittany, I stopped giving a shit about him."

Pleased with her answer despite her evident rising annoyance, he started to recall the events like it was yesterday. "Good times… I remember I used to help you hook up with him."

"Don't remind me." She cringed and rolled her eyes.

It was a meaningless crush she had way back at the beginning of fifth grade. She thought he was cute and blurted out about her crush to Jared. This very incident actually caused them to become closer. Since Jared was good friends with Benji and that crowd, he made it his mission to try and set Megan and Lucas up. Even if it was just for one date. But soon after, Lucas made it obvious that he had the hots for Brittany. So, that was the end of that. Then, Megan's eyes started lingering elsewhere. To someone right next to her.

"You were quite the jealous one," Jared commented teasingly.

"Shut up!" she exclaimed irritated. It's not enough that he was fucking clueless, he also had to be a mocking little shit.

"Hey, I'm only stating facts," he said in his defense.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes.

Silence then surrounded them for a bit. With one person resenting the other, the latter not having any idea why.

"Is the rumor still bothering you?" Jared asked, breaking their silence.

"No," she replied through gritted teeth and forced a smile, "Is it bothering YOU?"

"Not really… I mean, it isn't true, right?" Even if it was just for this one moment, Jared genuinely looked like the stupidest person on the planet.

Megan felt her jaw clench at the unbearable sight before her, but managed to answer, "Fucking right."

"Sooooo…??" Naia stared at Megan with much anticipation.

"So?" Megan mildly snapped and plopped next to her friend.

As like any other Wednesday, they were meeting up with their friends at the Surf House's expansive patio. And as usual, both girls were the first to arrive.

"Did you two finally get together?!" Naia exclaimed, cutting to the chase.

Megan couldn't help but cock an eyebrow at her. The frustrating rumor that spread in school, plus the obliviousness of her best friend resulted in a rather nasty mood. "Did WHO and I finally get together?"

"Jared. Duh." Naia's tone was a little impatient (even condescending), considering she didn't detect the annoyance in her friend's voice.

Megan sighed and rubbed her temples, as some attempt to calm herself down. "Not you too."

"Hey, this chismis** was so juicy that it traveled all the way to our building," Naia said excitedly. The building for fifth- and sixth-graders was on the opposite side of the one for the seventh and eighth-graders. So, it meant that the gossip about Megan and Jared was truly 'juicy'.

"God…" Megan rolled her eyes and shook her head at how even more frustrating this situation is turning out to be.

Now only sensing her upset tone, Naia suddenly blurted out, "So, you didn't?!"

"Well, I suppose!" Megan chirped sarcastically with an equally sarcastic smile. "What kind of stupid question is that?"

Although a bit hurt by her snippy remark, Naia chose to apologize instead. "Sorry. I just got really excited."

"Yeah, whatever. We talked. It's…it's not like that."

"What do you mean it's not like that? It's so obvious! Everyone in our group is practically in the know."

"Well you guys know wrong," Megan firmly contended, "He looks at me and he sees a little sister, just like every other girl in our circle."

Naia let out a sad sigh and replied, "Maybe he does like you…" She paused for a moment so that she would get the right sentence out of her mouth. "He just doesn't like you enough."

This statement strongly struck Megan and all she could muster at that moment, in a whisper is, "Enough?"

"He doesn't like you enough to tell you about his feelings," Naia clarified.

A bitter smile could be seen on Megan's face as she responded, "Whatever it is, there's nothing I can do about it."

"Hey." Naia gently nudged her friend and offered her a hug.

Megan's expression suddenly softened, eventually accepting Naia's heartwarming offer. They stay still in that position for a while, and just when Megan was about to burst into tears (for holding it in the entire day), a boisterous and fiery voice interrupts their little moment.

"YOU!" Zoe screeched at the top of her lungs as she pointed at Naia.

The younger girl's eyes widened at the abrupt intrusion. She began going into panic mode, wondering if she had done anything to make Zoe angry.

"Come over here NOW!" Zoe commanded and immediately stalked off to a farther location.

Naia meekly followed while Megan was left bewildered by the bizarre scene that just happened. Thankfully, the rest of their friends arrived and was able to keep Megan company.

"What have you fucking done?" Zoe questioned with so much incased rage.

"Comforted a friend in need?" Naia answered, still baffled by how mad Zoe appeared.

"You are so full of shit," the older girl spat.

"Excuse me?" Naia said offended.

Zoe instantly stared her down with a death glare. "YOU were the one who spread the rumor about Jared."

Oh, crap. "No, I didn't."

"DON'T lie to me. Omar saw you."

Naia was left speechless as she glared at the ground in guilt. "So what if I did? I was doing them both of a favor. They needed a little push to get together."

"What part of 'leave them alone' did you not understand?" Zoe scolded. She literally told her last summer before she left that the relationship between Jared and Megan needed time to blossom and develop. It clearly didn't need anyone meddling with it. "We are NOT in a movie, Naia!! Jared and Megan are NOT your playthings!!"

"I was doing it for Megan, Zo." Naia frowned, hurt that Zoe couldn't see the good of what she was doing for their friend. "She keeps hiding her feelings and hurting in secret. Then, there's unpredictable, no-one-will-ever-know-what's-on-his-mind Jared."

"No, you weren't. You were doing it for yourself," Zoe countered with an annoyed scoff.

"MYSELF?" Naia's voice raised an octave, clearly insulted by Zoe's spiteful statement.

"Yes, for yourself," Zoe insisted, "You've been jealous of Megan since she lost weight. You knew that if a rumor like this spread, Jared would immediately deny it despite feeling otherwise. If it was the other way around, it wouldn't have been a problem. But to take Jared by surprise? You've got to be kidding me."

"I HONEST TO GOD DIDN'T KNOW!!"

"You liked him. You would've known deep down."

Then, for what seemed like forever, they're engulfed in a silent glare war. Both girls definitely not wanting to back down.

Naia had no idea what Zoe was talking about. She wasn't exactly a mind reader, was she? She only knew Jared to SOME extent. Not only was she getting sick of the unofficial label between Megan and Jared, so were the rest of their friends. Granted that she did decide to plan this whole rumor thing on her own, without letting anyone else knowing. She still felt that she did the right thing. Megan was leaving in June. It was currently the middle of April. Doesn't that give the two best friends less than two months to let their feelings out in the open?

"You're the one that's full of shit," Naia hissed with her jaw still clenched.

"The truth remains, Naia," Zoe said, unfazed by the younger one's attempt to intimidate her. "I can never forgive you for what you've done. Remember this day and so help me God, if their relationship worsens, it's all on you."

Naia, who was now on the verge of bursting into tears, still managed to reply, "You don't know the bond I have with Megs. You have no idea how much I cherish her as a friend, even a sister."

"Let's see then. Let's see just how 'effective' your method is." Zoe folded her arms across her chest, still convinced that the damage Naia caused will inflict pain to both Megan and Jared.

***

The fiasco that the rumor triggered eventually died down, not only in school but within Jared and Megan's group of friends. The others did continue to tease them from time to time, despite Jared's firm denial of the rumor.

How could they not tease them anyway? The two still acted like a couple even with the mild chaos that occurred. But of course, they didn't want to push them over the edge. There seemed to be something off between Jared and Megan since the incident. And they didn't want to ruin the progress that they had already made thus far.

The infamous Spring Fling soon arrived. Everyone was present, even elementary kids because there was some sort of carnival going on outside of the school gym. Thankfully, the dance wasn't as formal as the students initially thought and it only seemed to be a formality for the entire Spring Fling event in general.

As expected, the girls wore cute little dresses or weirdly endearing blouses with skirts on top of jeans, sometimes even uniquely cut long skirts. Plus platform shoes that tower over anyone their age. The boys, on the other hand, wore polos with casual vests. Only a few had ties on since they didn't want to look too dressed up.

But as anyone could imagine, this particular informal dance of the early 2000s surely was something to remember for the years to come. The fashion was just outstanding and cringe-worthy. Although in the best way possible, of course. Only kids of this time will be able to fully understand the meaning behind that.

"WELL… this is a lot more boring than I thought," Odell commented flatly.

"That's because you haven't got a date." Logan snorted.

Sure, his best friend was a bit bigger than the average guy. But that didn't mean he wasn't worth a companion to an awesome dance. Though Odell did say something about girls in their grade being on the ugly side. Which most definitely was not true. Well, at least according to Logan's standards it wasn't.

"Like I care. Have you SEEN Jared and Megan?" Odell's arms started flapping around with utmost exaggeration. He really did want to change the subject as soon as possible.

"I know. They're practically each other's unofficial dates." Logan shook his head, not noticing Odell heaving a sigh of relief.

"Don't even remind me." Jacob made a face and a gagging noise.

Logan and Odell snickered at his repulsion.

Eventually, the three boys decided to get some punch and join the rest of their friends.

"EEEEYYYY look at you two, acting like each other's unofficial date!" Odell teased with ironic starry eyes.

"Wow. He really stole my line," Logan mumbled annoyed.

Jacob merely nudged him for his childish remark.

"You're a nuisance," Megan snapped at Odell.

"And also the third person to say that." Naia chuckled.

"Who were the first two?" Logan asked in curiosity.

"Me and Jacob." Naia grinned proudly.

Odell and Logan were quick to raise an eyebrow over at Jacob. The young man in question only shrugged and avoided their gaze.

"What'd I miss?" Zoe suddenly chimed in their conversation. Although she's long left the school, alumni were allowed to attend the event.

"Nothing much," Odell answered casually before playfully continuing, "Just enjoying the company of two unofficial lovebirds."

Zoe chuckled as she directed her gaze at the pair of embarrassed best friends. "Right."

"Where are the youngins?" Megan asked, wanting to stay away from the topic about her and Jared. She had no idea if he felt it too, but there was something weird and awkward between them ever since that damn rumor spread.

Sensing that Megan was indeed uncomfortable, Zoe was quick to respond, "Playing only God knows what outside. Wait until they get on the Ferris wheel."

Logan snorted. "Lacey is probably already there."

"Speaking of Lacey… why is she never with us?" Naia inquired about their friend's little sister.

"She has better friends," Logan robotically replied.

"Nah. Logan just doesn't want her around us," Odell revealed.

"And let HER have all the fun being the youngest? No way, Jose." Logan put on the most displeased face he could muster.

"Best big brother EVER," Megan sarcastically commented.

Laughter ensued within the group and the awkward atmosphere between Megan and Jared seemed to fade.

The late afternoon rapidly turned into night and the event continued with a bunch more of people congratulating Megan and Jared. Everyone just conveniently assumed that they were finally together. While Jared insisted that they were only friends, Megan stood by his side merely forcing a smile. By the seventh person who came up to them, she was sure that if one more even uttered a word about the two of them, she would actually explode. She literally felt like the little vein in her head was going to pop anytime soon.

Thankfully, Jared asked her to dance to keep her mind off of it. Since he knew her THAT well, the sure-fire way of turning her frown upside down was certainly dancing. It was one of the things that relieved her stress from time to time. That and eating. Unfortunately, the food inside the venue was shit. So, there's not much they could do about that.

Fast song after fast song, Megan slowly started to forget that there were other people who could be watching and judging her and her best friend. All she could see was Jared having the time of his life, despite dancing not really being his thing. She instantly knew that this was something he was doing for her. And that was enough to clear up any anger or negative thought in her head.

However eventually, a slow song began to play and the two best friends momentarily froze. Both not knowing what to do, they direct knowing looks at each other, as if to say 'you decide'.

After a few seconds, it was Megan who took matters into her own hands as she neared him. He gladly obliged and put his arms around her waist. In turn, she put her arms around his neck. And as if it was the most natural thing in the world, they swayed to the gentle rhythm of Lifehouse's You and Me.

Though Megan avoided his gaze at first, it didn't take long for her to glance once in a while. His stares seemed to be burning holes into her face. He was wondering why she wouldn't look at him, but of course, he remembered how annoyed she was before all this. Now that they were actually slow dancing, it was more likely that people would go back to either congratulating or teasing them. This thought prompted him to cool it and look elsewhere in the meantime.

And when she finally felt comfortable enough, Megan managed to keep her eyes trained on his forehead. A few minutes later and she gradually moved to his eyes. By the time she did, he was already trying to hold back a laugh. This made her snort for some reason and almost immediately, the tense atmosphere from before vanished.

They continued to sway, acting like it was most casual activity currently happening in their school gym. What they were dreading was the end of the song, which came quicker than they anticipated.

The awkward vibe made an astounding return and they moved out of the dance floor together, albeit with a weird, tiny yet noticeable gap between them.

"You still friends after that?" Benji jeered as soon as the two were within earshot.

"I'm afraid so." Logan shrugged while sharing a mischievous smirk.

The two boys then glanced at each other and guffawed, like they had some sort of unspoken inside joke.

Not being able to take any of this bullshit anymore, Megan sprinted outside of the gym for some fresh air. Jared followed, despite being uninvited. He didn't speak a word as she took deep breaths in and out to calm herself.

For a while, they stood there in silence.

After finally finding her peace of mind, she decided to walk ahead and ride the Ferris wheel. Sensing that he still wasn't needed or wanted, he merely followed her again but didn't get on the ride with her.

She had to stop herself from shedding any tears at that point. That one little thing he could sense was something their other friends couldn't possibly do ever. And she found it annoying that he was such a great friend. If they hadn't been good friends, would it have been possible for them to become something more? Was it the fact that he knew everything about her, good and bad, a hindrance to taking their relationship to the next level?

Or perhaps it was just her. No matter what the circumstances, he would still see her as a little sister. Because she wasn't feminine enough. Because she wasn't pretty enough. Because she wasn't kind enough. Because she wasn't mature enough. Because she simply wasn't enough.

She sighed as all these thoughts ran through her head. Maybe she was being selfish. But she couldn't stand being just friends or best friends anymore. She was going to leave by June anyway, so it would be the perfect timing to…

To what?

The ride was almost coming to an end and she couldn't bear to think about what she was going to do if her hunch was right.

When the Ferris wheel stopped and she got off, she was instantly met by a cool and collected Jared standing near the rails. So effortlessly cool that she could almost write a song about it.

"Bouncy castle?" she asked.

He nodded and they made their way to the colorful venue. Surprisingly, the place was deserted and since they knew the person in charge of watching it, Megan was able to request a few minutes alone with Jared.

"Red..." she started as soon as they were settled down inside the castle, lying down side by side.

He merely hummed in response.

This was it. It was finally time to ask him. "It's always gonna be like this, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" he replied without thinking.

"This. Us." She sighed sadly. "We're always going to be… best friends."

"Of course!" he said in a cheerful tone.

Just as I thought… "It's never going to change…" she whispered.

Despite the beauty of the night sky, all she could do was stare into nothing. Just as I thought… he interprets it differently. He doesn't see us going any farther than this. Best friends.

That was when it finally dawned on her.

She had to let him go. She had no courage to confess her feelings to him, but she'd rather be a coward than have him look at her differently. Or even worse, with disgust. Whether or not he reciprocated her love for him deep down, she no longer cared. As she told herself earlier, it was selfish. But what does one expect of a confused and frustrated twelve-year-old girl who had zero guidance regarding her first love? Zoe, who she considered an even closer friend, she couldn't even be completely honest with. What more with someone like Jared?

The air around them seemed to grow tenser and more deadly in silence.

He was also feeling a bit puzzled about where the conversation was going. He couldn't hear what she had just murmured under her breath. So, he decided that it was better for him to wait for her to say something.

"You know how much you mean to me right?" Megan broke the silence.

He suddenly directed a look at her. "Of course. You might even mean more to me."

Another moment of silence.

God, he doesn't even know what he's saying. She thought to herself.

"I said might, alright," he joked, sensing that something was off with her.

Though she was on the verge of tears, she managed to let out a chuckle.

"What's this about?" he questioned, growing a little worried.

Her lips quivered at the mere thought of what she was going to say. But it didn't take longer than she expected. "I don't think we can be best friends anymore."

"What?" Jared was quick to retort.

She said nothing, trying to fight the tears that were slowly making their way out of her eyes.

"You're not serious, are you?" he asked, almost in a plea.

She continued to keep mum, not knowing what else to say at that moment.

For a few seconds, he processed everything, from her behavior earlier to her unexpected words now. He couldn't quite put two and two together. Why was this happening? Why is she doing this?? "What are you talking about, Megan? This isn't—this isn't--" It was evident that he was caught off guard since he almost never stutters.

"I'm leaving after this school year anyway, so it doesn't matter," she reasoned calmly.

He turned to have a look at her expression, wanting to make sure if she was joking or not, but she was already facing the other side. "What are you—?"

"I'm just… I'm tired, okay? There's nothing wrong with you. It's me. Just know that it's all on me." She hastily got up to leave and walked away from him.

"Meg..." His voice was barely a whisper as he watched her, feeling both stumped and devastated.

When she was sure that he wasn't going to follow, Megan finally let her tears out and sobbed behind a big van in the school's parking lot. I did it… I fucking did it. She thought, feeling her heart wrench in pain. It seemed that the rest of her body would follow.

It hurt.

It definitely hurt, but she knew that she made the right decision for herself. She wasn't patient enough to wait for him. Whether he had feelings for her now or would develop feelings for her later, she wasn't the type to wait around. No matter how much she loved him, it was better to walk away.

But little did she know that for the years to come, she was gradually going to regret this very choice that possibly changed their fate.