Chapter 37 Pangs of the Heart

"I don't want to stay in this town very long," said Carla the next morning as everyone sat around the table eating leftover venison for breakfast.

"Well, we have to wait until the mayor sends us whoever is going to lead us to the border," said Vonn, chewing the tough meat.

"I hope it doesn't take long. I don't like to stay cooped up inside, but I am not going anywhere near that ledge until we're leaving," Carla said with a shake of her head and pointing towards the front door.

"That's understandable," said Luan, sounding a little reserved as she nodded and took another bite of her own breakfast. It looked like a small loaf of hard bread, but she was eating it slowly.

"Is everything alright?" asked Tom, reaching out gently to find his cup.

"I have to go see the alchemists today," she responded, glancing at Gia.

"Don't worry, Luan, Vonn and I will go with you. I know it can be scary seeing someone you don't know very well," said Gia, patting her on the shoulder and smiling.

"Thank you," said Luan, giving her a weak smile in return.

"Alchemist?! Can I go?" asked Mikey, bouncing in his chair.

"No, they might see your Limcheez and want to keep it," said Gia.

"Sprout?! They can't have him! He's mind! Llewel gave him to me!" exclaimed Mikey, clutching his pouch carefully.

"Sprout?" asked Tom, thoughtfully, "Why did you decide to name it that?"

"Because he's all green like the new sprouts on the trees in the spring," said Mikey wistfully.

"What would you know about that?" asked Gia, giving him a look. "There wasn't a single tree in the entire city we came from."

"I saw a tree once," he said, "before we left the city. It was tiny and beautiful. A merchant brought it in this bowl. It had these tiny little leaves that were all curled up. I didn't get to see it very long, because the merchant chased me away. He didn't want me to touch it."

"Considering the number of trees just outside the city, I find that odd," said Vonn. "I wonder what kind of tree it was, for a merchant to haul it around and try to sell it."

"There's all kinds of trees that have wonderful woods when they're grown," said Tom.

"And there's trees that are magical, too," said Luan.

"Fair enough," nodded Vonn.

"Speaking of wood, we need more for the fire. I used what was left warming breakfast," said Carla.

"We'll bring some back when we return from the alchemists," said Gia, standing up from the table.

Luan sighed and nodded, standing as well. She really didn't seem to be very excited about going to these guys, but after what she had told Gia the night before, Gia couldn't blame her.

Turning to walk along the stone path around the small town, Gia made an effort to hug the buildings. She didn't want to accidentally glance down and see the two elven bodies she was sure were still there.

"Are you alright?" asked Vonn.

He glanced at her with a worried look, and she could only nod in silence, giving him a small smile to reassure him, despite the fluttering panic in her stomach from being so close to the ledge Llewel had disappeared on. Turning her face back to the front, she noticed Luan was walking with her arms wrapped around her.

Wrapping an arm around Luan's shoulders, she gave her a smile. "It's okay. We're both here to keep you safe."

"But will you be safe if the potion doesn't work?" asked Luan softly. "No one's been as nice to me as all of you. What if it makes me go crazy and I hurt you two?"

"When was the last time you lost control?" asked Gia.

"When I was really little," she answered in a small voice.

"You've had so much practice with your powers, I really don't think you're going to lose control. You are older and much more experienced," said Gia, trying to encourage her.

"I just wish I didn't have to take this medicine anymore," she whispered.

"What does it do?" asked Vonn curiously, since he had missed out on the discussion the night before.

"It keeps my powers under control, so I don't get angry and hurt anyone with them," said Luan.

"It doesn't sound very healthy to never get angry. It's good for someone to blow off some steam sometime," said Vonn.

"But my powers go crazy when I get mad, and then people get hurt," said Luan, looking up at him with wide scared eyes.

"Maybe the reason you lose control all of the time, is because you never learned to control your powers when you're mad. Maybe you need to be allowed to get mad so you can learn how to do that," said Gia.

"But what if I wake the whole forest? Some of these trees are really old!"

"Then just put them back to sleep! Or go somewhere, that it won't cause trouble," said Vonn.

"That's what my mom suggested fifty years ago, but my dad thought this was a better idea. He was afraid that if I were sent away, with the way I look, no one would ever trust me when I came back."

"Do they trust you now?" asked Gia softly. "You don't seem to have a lot of friends."

Luan sighed and said, "I know. But I love it here. I don't want to go anywhere else."

They had stopped to talk just outside the door to the alchemy shop. Gia could smell strange odors floating out of the open doorway.

"I'll think about it, but not right now. You guys are going to be leaving soon, so I will take my medicine this time, and then not next time. That way if I do hurt anyone, it won't be you."

Vonn and Gia glanced at each other. They both knew that once they left, she wouldn't have the courage to refuse the medicine next time. Should they do something?

Stepping into the alchemy shop, Gia stopped to stare at all of the bottles and potions lined up and filling the tables. Glowing flecks floated throughout the room, lighting it enough that the entire place was well lit. Two elves were busy combining drops from this and that, watching for changes and referring back to open tomes. One of the elves was an older elf with grey hair, standing in the very back of the shop with a red glass flask. He was studying it carefully, swirling it gently, and as she watched, a red fog rose from the opening, forming a red skull, before sinking back into the flask.

The younger elf, noticed them enter, and set his glowing green flask on the table.

"Luan! I knew you would be showing up soon. I have your potion right here," he said, turning to a shelf that ran the entire length of the shop. It held various books and potions, along with a variety of other odds and ends. Gia was sure she could see a tiny skull hidden behind a large glass of something floating in a murky fluid.

"Thank you," she whispered, taking the potion bottle and looking at the white murky fluid inside.

"It's the exact same as last time," he said, turning back to pick up the flask he had before. "Have you thought about the agreement between our father's?"

"I am not interested in you, Sylvan. I'm sorry. I don't really want to marry anyone, honestly. What kind of children would I have?" she asked, clutching the potion to her chest with a pained expression.

"Beautiful and powerful ones," said the elf, glancing back down at the book he had open before him.

"I'll think about it, but I still have time before my choice is gone," Luan said.

"Well, drink up so I can have the bottle for the next time," he said, a slight frown on his face.

She glanced down at the bottle, and Gia could see the conflict on her face.

"You don't have to, you know," said Vonn.

"Excuse me, who are you? Luan, does your father know that you're running around with a couple of humans?" asked Sylvan with a frown, glaring at Vonn.

"I'm old enough to not have to report to my father about everything," she said in a soft voice, turning her face away from the elf.

"Your father is paying good money for that potion. If you choose to not drink it, what will happen when you lose control? This forest is all we have left. Do you really want to ruin it, and possibly kill everyone, because some human who doesn't understand tells you not to drink your medicine?" Sylvan's eyes were wide and his nostrils were flared as he panted hard in anger.

"What's this now?" asked the older elf, coming forward from the back. "Sylvan, you know that you can't raise your voice here. Negative emotions can affect some of my experiments. Why are there humans in my alchemy lab?"