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Lisa:

Three days had passed since we said 'goodbye' to one of my children. Nothing can compare to the pain in my chest the indescribable torture of losing a child that had barely lived. Axelle was one of Fletcher's son and the love we shared for him was undeniable. Dominik had sat with me for days trying to help me with dressing changes and cleaning my burns, I didn't even care that I have scars from the accident just wish I turn back the clock to keep him from dying. Had I jumped on top of him sooner, or kept him awake, Mr. Jenk's funeral was yesterday Dominik refuse to take me saying I needed to save my strength. I sat on the bed running my fingers through the album, his smile, his hair, the smell of him after a bath, those beautiful dimples and chubby cheeks, I remembered the day that Fletcher had taking us to the zoo, he screamed when the loin roared but laughed when the monkey shit on the rock. He was only two at the time it was of the last family outing before our divorce, Levi was just an infant at the time. I began to cry again knowing no one here would ever know exactly how I felt. Dominik took me to the church at the place where the casket sat looking at the closed box holding my thirteen-year-old son, the burial was the last thing to get through before I could return home and cry myself into darkness, I didn't want the Ryder or Jazabelle there because they were too young, York had called letting us know that Jazabell and Ryder were with Zander. A slow-motion ride from the church to the graveyard, I sucked in a breath praying I could hold on just enough. Dominik placed his hand on my lap and said

"Lisa, be strong just a little bit longer, please" such a kind gesture it meant a lot to know he cared at least a little. In a weird sick way, he was also burying a son too.

"Did you know him before I meant Denton?" I had no idea where take came from but it was too late to turn back.

He hung his head down

"My middle name is Klaus" the words felt like a sword through my heart, that was all I needed to know that not only had he meant him before but Fletcher had hidden their relationship for nearly three years and he had been sneaking around behind my back. He knew my son before I knew him, that would explain why he never seemed scared of him.

"What are you thinking?" he asked as we pulled up to the cemetery

"Just want it all to go away," I said as I walked ahead making my way to the casket next to my grandparents and his father's tome stones. The priest spoke but I somehow blocked it out I was too busy thinking of my baby laying in the box about to be lowered into the ground to never be seen again because of Dominik. I could feel sadness and rage flowing through me, Dominik wrapped his arms around me I guess trying reassuring me that everything was going to be OK, but it wasn't I wasn't OK with this life and I wasn't OK with one of my kids dying before me. I laid a white rose on top of the lid and a handful of dirt saying

"God, watch over my baby" Dominik will not win, I will not coward in fear for a gang that wants me dead because I fell in love at a naive age it was time for me to grow and get stronger. The car ride back was quiet, I stared out the window what as the world past by, cars, trees, buildings, people, happiness. Walk into the house feeling Doinik close by, but he was the last person I wanted to be near, seeing Ryder eating at the island and Jazabelle playing with toys, Levi was no doubt already in his room. Standing in the doorway watching them laughing and playing as if they didn't just lose their brother, but I understood it I tensed up feeling arms wrap around my waist, I turned looking into those green eyes, those eyes that have given me so much pain and pleasure. The sorrow and sadness in his eyes, I was being selfish he lost a child as well, no matter how I look at it he was there from the beginning Axelle had his name. A tear rolled down his cheek, he lost his son just as I lost my son. I will never be able to forget or forgive him for the type of betrayal he as installed in my life.

Three months later

Spending most of my time sleeping or spacing out, over my time in the hospital I was able to reflect on what I needed to live for most. I was diagnosed with Ptsd and Depression, doctors discovered I had breast cancer, I forced them not to tell Dominik. After my first treatment, every day I would get pictures and updates on the kids, seeing Levi become a young Fletcher overnight, Ryder growing more and more into Denton, Jazabelle looked like me but had features of Dominik. I had a special spot by the garden I would sit thinking of Axelle and Fletcher even found myself thinking about Denton. Dr. Tom said my treatment was working great and after ten weeks and three rounds I was clear to go home, home to my family. Which is today, Dr. Tom had everything packed and ready to go, I was becoming nervous, what would they say? How was everyone? Just as my mind wondered about everyone, Dominik walked into my room, he seemed different as if he had the world on his shoulders.

"Ready!" just one word from him, the car ride not even 'How are you?' Nothing,

Pulling into the drive, Dominik yells for the kids, but that's all I see no one else just him and the kids. Where is everyone? I said to myself as I am engulfed in hugs, Jazabelle was learning well with her new walker.

"Sweetie, how are you feeling?" Dominik said as he placed my wedding ring back on my finger, the empty reminder that I belonged to him and no one else. I didn't love him, and I knew he didn't love me either so why fight. I gave a fake smile saying

"I'm great" then he left me sitting there with the kids.

Cooking food with Ryder gave me some peace, he has changed so much I see Denton in him every turn and every word he says sounds more like him. Dominik wrapped his arms around me kissing my neck, Ryder took that as his cue to leave the room.

"After dinner, let's celebrate. You're home and healthy and the kids have their mom back" he said smiling

"Where is everyone?" it was a long shot asking, but if they left because of my illness then they can come back, York was my bodyguard he kept Dominik in check and if he's not here then who will save me from his temper.

"It's just us now, everyone is gone," he said sliding his hand down my back lightly gripping my ass. I hissed as he squeezed my breast, kissing my neck his hands roamed my ass and breast making my legs weak.

"I have missed you," he said turning me to face him,

"The kids," I whimper trying to get him to stop,

"Wait, wait, Dominik"

"I can't wait" he snapped, there on the kitchen floor, he did things to me that I wanted to experience from him again. I hated it more and more every time, I thought I was free from his torment.

"Here take your medicine" he handed me the pills watching me closely, after I had swallowed them he checked my mouth to make sure they went down, just as I turned to leave he pushed me over the arm of the couch, lifting my dress.

"Please, the kids" I couldn't finish my sentence he had already entered himself, he covered my mouth as he pumped into me, it may have been only minutes but I had come three times from the intensity of it. He must have gotten bigger I was trying hard not to scream his name, he finished leaving me there shaking and panting, I didn't even eat dinner I just went to my room, crying in the shower I hate myself for thinking he would even care that I had cancer or I that I had no choice, but all he wants is for me to give him more kids. Like him having a daughter wasn't enough.