Teacher

"You-You want to kill my disciple?"

Astonished, Tian Cai asked, "Little Killer's your disciple? If we don't kill her now, she'll be a calamity on this city."

Shensheng grunted and pattered about. "Little Killer? You're referring to Ling Fan?"

"Mhm. She's has the aura of a killer. Earlier I saw the contour of her maniacal laugh beneath that thick black mask. She glared at you with the Evil Eye...if we don't stop her, she'll grow into greatest evil incarnate. Haven't you heard of Damien? She's gonna be the twin sister he never had."1

"Hahahahhaaaa! Hahahahhaaaa!" chortled Shensheng.

"What..Did I say a funny?"

"Little Genius, you think I haven't used my Silent Killer on her? You think she's immune like you? Hahahahhaaaa! Hahahahhaaaa! She-She-She wears that mask as protection. Hahahahhaaaa! Little Killer! The evil eye you're talking about, that's her being angry at me. The maniacal smile...unmask her and you would've seen her smiling at the adorable little 5 year old, Tian Cai. Hahahahhaaaa! Hahahahhaaaa! Little Genius, you make this Queen laugh so hard."

Tian Cai's face blackened.

Between two life times, this was the first being mocked by a Divine Pig.

After several moments Shensheng finally calmed down.

"Little Genius, you-you have anything to eat?"

"And I suppose you also want tea as well?"

"Mhm."

Tian Cai sighed. "Wait a bit, I have to return upstairs to fulfill your request." He started to leave, but then quickly realized Shensheng was following him. "You're following me?"

"This Queen wants to see your courtyard."

Tian Cai rubbed his glabella. He felt this was going to be the biggest headache yet.

"In the future, relocating from the Ling Clan to the Zhao Clan may be necessary."

Yep! He was sure this headache was going to be the biggest ever.

Within half an hour, the two returned with several plates of food and tea. Within seconds, Shensheng lost all her noble demeanor. With bugged out eyes, combined with hurried squealing and grunting, she slurped the plates clean.

Tian Cai sat sipping his tea unperturbed.

"You-You aren't bothered how this Queen eats?" paused Shensheng with surprise.

"It not that...I've seen worse."

"How can this be??"

"Teacher, I'll pass another memory to you," said Tian Cai.

Receiving the memory, Shensheng shook in surprise. "In that memory-who-who was that giant, bald roly poly? This Queen didn't know humans could shovel food into their mouths like that. He's like my little brother from another dimension."2

Sipping his tea, "That was me in my previous life."

"You were that Fatty? The rolls of fat were jiggling on your stomach like..."

"Mhm."

"This Queen is confused, if you were that man, the you now?"

"My Masters found me on Earth after battling the Celestials. Because they lost their bodies, they needed my true essence to return home. Not only did they abduct me, they reduced me to a dot of blood then regenerated me to an infant boy. Even worse, they bound their souls to mine. So here I am, a 45 year old man-child from another dimension."

"Then who's the fifth soul? Child you sure were a fatty, to have the ability to hold 5 souls? Truly impressive."

"Fifth? Ah, that's my Little Brother, Zhao Fei Hung. He's an amalgamation of the soul strands left by my Masters. In fact, we consider ourselves brothers."

Shensheng shook her head. "This addles the brain." She sipped the tea and spat it out spontaneously. "Aiya it's too bitter!"

"Mhm, I can't drink it any other way. It's the only thing that reminds of coffee. Coffee is the life. Coffee is the blood."

Shensheng noticed that Tian Cai's eyes became filled with a strange light.

Was this coffee detrimental to the human spirit? It was best she kept him way from this coffee.

"Little Genius, this Queen believes this coffee may be worse than that Evil Eye thing you previously mentioned. If Teacher must, she will destroy this coffee thing in order to save your soul."

Tian Cai chuckled.

Shensheng snorted. "Did I say a funny?"

Coffee is a common drink in my world. Millions drink it every day. Typically it's drunk in the morning and helps people wake up or concentrate. However, in my case being the King of Nerds I only had three beverages: Coffee, Iced Tea and the Dew."

"Iced Tea, the Dew?"

"That's tea sweetened with sugar and chilled cold with ice. The Dew? There no way to describe it to you. However, all three drinks shared one common trait. Caffeine."

"Bleh! Chilled Tea, monstrous. Tea should only be drunk hot."

"I mentioned sugar, you put enough of it into any drink, you'll slurp that up through both your mouth and nostrils."

"Never!! That is below the dignity of this Queen."

"I've seen you eat."

Shensheng grumbled and was about to turn her head in huff, when Tian Cai asked, "Since we are now Teacher and Student, what is it you expect of me? You should know, I'm bound with a mission to restore my Masters to power as well as save our clans from the Calamity. Expecting me to follow you around the world...that I don't have the time for."

"You-you don't tell Ling Fan this. But she's my backup plan. I've accepted her as my probationary disciple. Should she prove herself capable and worthy, then when she reaches Martial King, I'll formally accept her."

"She's your Plan B? Then what about your Plan A? Do you have a plan C?"

Shensheng shook her head, "Little Genius what is this Plan ABC nonsense? Are you purposely trying to confuse this Queen?"

"Plan B is what I refer to your backup plan. Your main plan, that's called Plan A. Should the first and second plans fail, then you fall back to your third plan. This is called Plan C."

"You-You really are a genius!" marveled Shensheng.

This...This was a Queen of the Cosmos?

"This Queen only descends once per every couple millenniums or so. This time is a vacation for our formal duties as overseers of the Cosmos. The period is typically used to identify talented individuals and raise them as potential disciples. Also, we have a task to watch this portion of the multiverse."

Suddenly, Shensheng's ears twitched with the sound of hoarse vacuous snoring.

"You You You dare fall asleep as Teacher speaks?" she snorted.

Tian Cai's response was legendary loud snoring.

Is this the nose of a 5 year old child?

The next morning, Tian Cai slept extremely well. As he woke up, he entered Fei Hung's courtyard in his mind.

"Little Brother, good morning!"

In response, Tian Cai heard shouting from within the Manor. "Kame-kamehameha!!! You see that Little Zilla? You need to learn how to spit your nuclear fire just like that."

Little Zilla? Who's that?

Tian Cai hurried inside, full of curiosity. Sitting nn the couch a mini version of Godzilla was munching on chicken wings and waffles. Fei Hung was beside him as both were glued to the TV watching an episode of Dragonball.3

What the hell was going on?

"Little Brother!"

"Eh! Big Brother!!" exclaimed Fei Hung, zooming over to Tian Cai.

Tian Cai pointed to the mini Godzilla. "Big Brother meant to ask earlier but had no time. What's with that??"

"Little Zilla? Ha! Big Brother you know I've been going through the memories of our honorable fathers. Within the memory of Father He, Little Brother found a lost puppet art. Intrigued, Fei Hung started cultivating it and in honor of Mighty Godzilla, I created Little Zilla as my first puppet."

Puppet art...Mini Godzilla puppet...translation GEEK!

"Big Brother understands. But why, why is it watching Dragonball with you?"

"That? Fei Hung is trying to teach it how to breath nuclear fire. However-However.."

"However what??"

"Little Zilla gets scared watching the Godzilla movies. Thus, Fei Hung hopes he can learn by watching Dragonball."

What the bleeping hell?

"Ah...I see. Well, Big Brother just wanted to stop by and say good morning. Later, I'll return with a gift."

"A gift?"

"Mhm...I'm sure you'll really like it. So look forward to it," with that Tian Cai returned to the real world.

Quickly washing up, he decided to check on his Grandfather. Entering the courtyard, Tian Cai noticed a strange scene.

In certain spots, the grass, vines and flowers were unusually large, verdant, and vibrant with life. He was still scratching his head with curiosity until he saw Zhao Chen. His grandfather was bare-chested, silently drinking a morning cup of tea.

In the center of Zhao Chen's bald scalp, was a thick tuft of white hair. Amazed, Tian Cai scurried forth and realized several wrinkles had started to disappear from his grandfather's face.

Is grandfather aging backwards??

"Cai'er you're here. You want some tea?"

"Grandfather, you haven't looked in the mirror this morning, right?"

Zhao Chen sighed. In a gloomy voice he said, "Isn't it useless to get dressed? That damn beast keeps attacking almost every night. Even though daughter and mother are both looking for it, how can they stop a flying beast? The only path may be to hire a Beast Tamer, one with a fast bird as a familiar. Unfortunately, that requires traveling to the 4th Chaos Heaven."

Tian Cai took Zhao Chen's hands and started pulling. "Grandfather, come look in the mirror. There's something you must see."

Resisting Tian Cai, Zhao Chen said, "Cai'er let Grandfather finish his tea. You think I want to look in the mirror and see my poor self…..OWW!!" Face red with fury, Zhao Chen asked, "Grandson, why are you pulling my hair? Must I ask Mother for the Heavenly Punishing Paddle? Don't think Grandfather won't spank you."

"Hair! Grandfather, Hair!!!" yelled, Tian Cai, pointing to the top of Zhao Chen's head.

Suddenly, Zhao Chen eyes expanded to size of saucers. With a trembling hand, he reached on-top and felt a dense tuft of hair.

This!

The chair and table exploded into pieces as Zhao Chen blasted from his seat to the mirror.

Hair! I'm seeing hair!

"You see it now Grandfather? Tian Cai was only trying to show you this miracle."

"The Divinities aren't blind!! Grandfather has hair!!!"

"Grandfather, there's something else. Look very very closely."

With a face saturated with glee, Zhao Chen's eyes were focused solely on his hair. Humming a tune, he was already using a comb to test various styles.

Shaking his head, Tian Cai interrupted Zhao Chen's combing and pointed into the mirror. "Grandfather look closely at yourself."

"Cai'er not now, Grandfather needs to see how he looks best. Wait till I show Daughter she'll..EH!"

Zhao Chen had finally noticed his face. "Grandson, my eyes…are my eyes really seeing a slightly younger version of myself."

"Grandfather, its not just you. Come look outside," said Tian Cai, pulling Zhao Chen's arm.

When they reached outside, he pointed to the areas in the courtyard with blooming vegetation. "Grandfather, if I'm not wrong, those areas...those places are where you were attacked, correct?"

This!?

Tian Cai continued, "Grandson believes this is an affect of the beasts ejected innards."

"You-You-You truly believe this???"

"Grandfather what other explanation could there be? You said yourself, only Empyreans could adjust their looks. Grandfather, how come Granny has…?"

"Ah that, Mother she-she cares more about fighting power. Empyreans can change their appearance, however, the cost requires a loss of cultivation."

"Grandfather, if you are willing, we can prove if we are correct?"

Zhao Chen's face blackened. "You-You can't mean???"

"If the attacks are going to continue, just let it be. After a couple of more times, we'll discover quick enough if there are more changes."

Zhao Chen was visibility shaking his head in negative.

"Grandfather, what-what if all your hair grows back? Don't you want a beautiful long mane? What if you could look as young as Patriarch Ling?"

Zhao Chen started pacing about lost in deep thought.

Meanwhile, a servant arrived. "Young Master, there you are. Matriarch is looking for you...she's says today is the day you are touring the city with Miss Bai Guang. She wonders if you are prepared yet?"

Ah, I'm supposed to buy Memory Jades for Fei Hung!

"Grandfather, think about it a bit. Tian Cai will visit again later," he said waving goodbye to Zhao Chen. Turning to the servant, he asked, "Where are they waiting for me?"

"Young Master, everyone is at the gate."

"Then I'll head over immediately," said Tian Cai.

Shortly, Tian Cai arrived at the Gate. "Big Sis!" he called as soon as he caught sight of Bai Guang's hair."

It luxuriously ran down her back like a shiny, silk waterfall. Slowly, as she turned, Tian Cai felt the thumping of his heart in his head. Like a dawn breaking apart the darkness, her face struck him numb.

Big Sis...Has she always been this pretty?

Cheeks blushing a tinge red, Tian Cai looked the other way.

What's happening to me?

Soft fingers ruffled his hair. "Little Brother, you kept Sister waiting. As you know, last time we got into serious trouble. Master was extremely mad. This time, were going to have to hold hands. Master commands not to let you run-off on pain of death."

Hold hands?

"Come along, we'll go find my favorite—I'm mean your favorite sweets first."

As Tian Cai, let Bai Guang pull him away. Small and Gray Shadows, along with a contingent of guards, followed behind.

Small Shadow whispered to Gray Shadow, "Big Sister, why is Little Brother being so well behaved?"

"Humph! Who cares, I'm too busy looking for potential enemies. Shouldn't you do the same? Last night, weren't you telling Father how well we would do our jobs?"

Realizing his mistake, Small Shadow started concentrating on his surroundings.

Soon, the group reached the loud raucous market. Almost immediately, a scream broke out, "It's Small Disaster King!!!"

Silence killed all noise instantly. In the distance, a flea could be heard buzzing about. After the initial shock past, shoppers scrambled to flee the market...not one person looked back once.

The vendors at each stall each had dejected faces. Many were looking up into the sky, begging the Divinities for mercy.

Bai Guang chortled in glee. "Little Brother, look we have the market to ourselves again. Now, there are no lines to worry about. Do you know what you want?"

Bashfully, Tian Cai said, "Big Sis, Little Brother will eat what ever you want."

Bai Guang squealed in happiness and dragged Tian Cai to a stall. Earlier, her Master had given her a large money pouch. As long as Tian Cai wanted it, she had to buy it. But who would have thought her Little Brother would be happy with whatever she wanted."

"Little Brother, I know you like these honey cakes as well. So, why don't we buy extra to take home?" she asked hopefully.

"Mhm."

"Shopkeeper, please give us ten orders," said Bai Guang without hesitating. As she took out the monies to pay, Small and Gray Shadow looked curiously at the coin pouch.

"Elder Sister, where do you think Matriarch obtained?…."

Suddenly, Gray Shadow clasped the back of Small Shadow's neck, her nails digging into his skin. "I don't know why father has chosen you as his successor? You keep asking questions you shouldn't be asking."

"Small Shadow is sorry. Small Shadow is sorry."

"You better just focus on your job," angrily muttered Gray Shadow.

Taking a huge bite out of a cake, Bai Guang laughed gleefully in the sunlight. "It's soo good! Here you try one!" she said, stuffing a cake into Tian Cai's mouth.

The way the light falls on her face.

Like this they proceeded, moving onto three other stalls that sold sweets.

Between Bai Guang holding his hand, giggling and feeding him….was this heaven? Today was the sky not more blue? Was the light not sparkling like crystals?"

"Little Brother, now that we've had our fill of sweets. We should complete everything with delicious tea."

Obediently, as though in a spell, Tian Cai nodded his head.

Tugging his hand along, "Come! Paradise Tea Pavilion has the best tea!"

Small and Gray Shadows looked at each other.

Wasn't this the most expensive tea parlor in the city?

"Miss Bai, you may not know but the prices in Paradise Tea Pavilion have gone up," said Small Shadow."

"Master commanded that Little Brother was to only have the best today. Is the best tea not at the Paradise Tea Pavilion?"

Gray Shadow leaned over to Small Shadow and said, "Should we run out of money, you shoot the flare. If necessary, will kill our way out of the Pavilion."

Nodding, Small Shadow said, "Understood."

"If it comes to that, Elder Sister will guard the rear..you..you make sure to safely return home."

Bai Guang was jolted to a stop discovering that she could no longer pull Tian Cai. Turning about, she found him with his eyes closed with his face exulting in bliss. His palm was waving before his nose as he was capturing an intoxicating aroma.

"Little Brother, what's the matter?" asked Bai Guang.

Abruptly Tian Cai roared.

"COFFEE!!!!"