the emotional waters!

I am just waking up at this point, unlike every single night before this one was dark.

I had no dream at all I could feel the pulses of another's heart.

One night alone, it is all that it took, I felt like something was trying to kill me from the inside, i soon realized it was me not physically but mentally.

That vortex in my mind began to rage around my ocean and island.

my moon was gone along with the stars, the calm center was no longer calm it was violent, yet in that violence I saw glimpses.

They alarmed me, at first, or maybe this is all just my imagination.

Violent, spinning, dark, and loud with it the island the water all of it spun viciously, eventually, I was swallowed with everything crumbling around me...

I was led to the slaughter like a lamb!

Was this my end?

I do not know the reason why but emotions 'welled' up in me.

(all pun intended.)

It was like my entire effort had just washed away.

I felt like I was trash!

In my mind, I knew I had logical ways to get out magic was an idea it is not like mine was gone.

Climbing was also an option but either way I let myself go...

Being sucked into that vortex.

I let it crumble everything I had thinking about why I needed to stop it?

why did I need this or any of it?

Why would I want to live?

~For greed~

I am a failure I let my mother and sister die!

i couldn't save them.

~We couldn't~

I can't face my father, I have no real goal, and I am now in a good spot to be wallowing in my own pity!

~IS THAT SO?~

why should i leave here do i truly deserve to leave?

~No one keeps you!~

After a night of sleep, I still felt like I failed at life.

~why?~

I didn't know?

I don't think I care?

~we can choose Not To Care...~

Laying down on the damp ground again I just laid in pity.

how long was this going to last for me?

how long would I feel this numb!

why do I feel this gray?

they are all gone and I know it's not my fault, But does it ever get better.

How long would this bland moment last?

I knew life was short-term not immortalized no one can live forever... but they probably could have made it if I was there!

[Mammon]: what would you have done?

Honestly even though you have intelligence, you do not have the power...

So what is it?

Rico: I do not know the answer!

Mammon: why would you think it would be so easy?

Different when together silent if you are alone?

if you were there?

Rico: I don't know that either, but in the least, I should have been there!

Mammon: TO DO WHAT? YOU ARE MINE!

WHAT IF YOU HAD THAT POWER NOW!

I CAN NOT BELIEVE I CHOSE YOU AS AN HEIR.

YOU ARE BROKEN, NOT BEFIT OF GREED!

Rico: Why do you sound so familiar?

Mammon: yes this voice hmm... it is deep in your will residing deeper than even I can!

I am merely letting it speak its truth.

You are a very cold person kid. The emotional greed, the dark thought in your Soul.

I have seen man with thoughts in his soul like this before, those are the souls that become tyrants.

Rico: ... I...

Mammon: Pity...It may be that even you believe you are good.

Representation is not everything!

I see the soul, the soul you have lets me see all the deepest parts even when it was forgotten and covered by shadows!

Rico: *shivers* What does this mean for me?

Mammon: you worthless Runt what do you want it to mean!

You are the one who called me!?

Rico: What?

Mammon: You have been building enough repressed emotions that you caused me to be summoned through the sacrifice you have given.

Rico: what did I sacrifice?

Mammon: Oh you know what you gave me boy.~

You know I took it with delight.~

Look inwards!

Rico: can I ask you a question?

Mammon: you just did... but proceed.

Rico: Should I be scared?

Mammon: Advices.

I am not an enemy to you.

~☆¤°●•○■○♤¿~

Hmm yes I see, Our time here has come to an end.

My second advice.

Let go of that guilt boy... Don't fight it, when you wake up... Don't Fig.....ht...

*Being in a dark void, I had no clue I was in an actual place.

Turns out I was in a place not like earth for a very split second, I saw the form of a giant Golden bull, his horns a gorgeous purple and bronze, his nose ring was solid gold.

His hand moved with lightning precision he flicked my forehead sending me spinning.

I lost all feeling period after a long time I was able to feel a pull on me, it brought me back to my body and I woke up.

With a kick in the chest feeling, I was very aware of how long I was out it had been about three days.

Something else told me it had been three days more specifically it was just a voice.

This time it sounded younger closer to me.

It almost resonated in my heart, which felt irregular!*

Avaricia: that would be me silly.

don't worry im going back to sleep,

but don't worry I did what you have been asking!

I got you the egg and I also killed everything and I took the cores and I got the materials.

please don't be mad at me!

Rico:...

Avaricia: I can hear what you are thinking!

I am you silly!

well, not you.

I am me but I am you!

Our souls are two, but our minds are one.

ALTHOUGH, We are three.

Anyway you are not mad at me, right?

you let my papa take some stuff,

buuut... While you were asleep I decided to play, you seemed really mad and sad about losing.

So I helped you by winning!

I gotta go to sleep now bye!

Rico: Ah! No finish answering me!

Avaricia: I can't tell you what you already know night, night!

* With the feeling of being pressed I felt my senses return and with searing pain, I dropped to the ground I had wounds all over my body.

it took me a long time before I had the power to look up and when I did I saw pure carnage.

blood and gore were just everywhere pieces of body mass laid, bones littering whole carcasses that had been violently ripped clean of all it's meat.

there was such a terrible sight my mind couldn't hold the horrors, floods of information came in mixed with pictures and small bits of memory.

looking around I had noticed that the terrain has begun too spread with a flash I was given a mental show flooding in images of how I got out.

After wallowing in my extreme pity that my greed caused my emotions had finally cracked... I had cracked!

It all struck me hard.

Stressed is the last word I could use but mostly dead.

I felt dead inside.

I made an assumption no one was listening to me when I spoke, but after being sucked into the vortex.

I called forth my inner demon, and he incurred the cost...

He paid to summon my curse for me.

Literally, I guess I let loose him and mammon.

He then took me into his demonic realm at my call.

He demanded a price and I gave it to him willingly...

his demonic energy mixed with my mana began to force this area to develop faster with great fertility.

He flooded the land with Mana, demonic, and chaotic energies.

Making the ambient area go crazy with the pressure of demonic energy it began to run amok by its self.

Setting aside the fact that I reshaped a small piece Of the earth to be utterly unrecognizable.

I released a maniac named avaricia who is actually me?

I was so worked up with emotions I gave them what they wanted.

One weak moment that they could exploit.

I can not remember the exact price I paid but I do know it doesn't matter... what has happened can not be changed.

With struggle, I tried to lift my body and after about six hours.

I succeeded I still had memories of these events flooding in along with information.

My lung painfully pulled in and pushed out breath, I sat down to meditate I don't know why but everything felt different not like physically but mentally.

Things felt strange to approach my mental realm using my mental soul.

I probed my body and my mental realm.

What I found was now a vast world That was now by no means small.

Thousands of times bigger than the size with waves crashing and rivers flowing an ecosystem had begun to grow with the missing of creatures it was like it's own world.

Standing in the center of my land I noticed the orbs had disappeared and while looking deeper the ocean had changed in color from a clear blue to stable blue with a very smooth connection.

the were additions of my galactic range it no longer looked pasted in and instead had begun to look like actual space with an uneasy movement.

I floated into space letting the mind stretch I met an unseen field it was destitute.

Noticing the feel and the pull I immediately stopped the connection feeling that inside I realized what I had given up

looking at the situation and having memories of avaricia I noticed I was terribly weak but the emotions that welled up were not of weakness.

It should have been terror or fear but instead, I had malice and glee thinking that if I have that egg it would change.

one would think I resented this world but instead, I adore it.

Realizing what Mammon meant when he said: "Let go of the guilt."

I began to close off my mind not from it but from everything instead of a castle I made a realm inside my realm.

Another island an extra above the original.

wondering why?

well, I had a clue what I was doing.

I set my mind down returning back to my body but instead of being whole.

I saw things I had never seen I had three more connections with a flashing.

I got a glimpse of my soul island underneath it was a mid-sized black box.

high in my sky close to my moon was a small sun, deep in my galaxies center, I had a silver pyramid.

After seeing them all and feeling the connections separately.

I was allowed to leave making me shudder violently.

I found myself back to the pain!

Now numbing me it was like needles had pierced me a million fold.

Even walking was too much so, I crawled for miles...

My wounds worsened, this was my fault noticing a certain bit of knowledge circling my mind.

it was like a mental picture of a bunny after focusing on it what came forth from my hand was a small Himalayan bunny with obsidian growing out of its head like a horn.

This bunny was smaller than normal with purple fur and great yellow eyes.

Staring at it I realized where it had come from there was a moment when the other me had thoughts of finding presents.

I am calling him Nemo, not the bunny but the other me his name is Avaricia nemorensis or the demon of greed Mammons son.

Or better known as the reincarnation of Nemorinsis, He is the rebirth of the man who was burdened with the title of Diana's champion.

As for the bunny, I don't have a clue?

i do have a clue as to what I need to focus on is getting back to safety the bunny which appeared left the way it came in a stream of light it went towards my soul feeling for its location.

I received a sting in the core next to my heart as it went away but it switched midway making it have the same feeling as the core in my gut.

It went into that wide world inside my soul.

knowing I messed up the pain grew worse.

The bunny it seems was taking the pain until it passed out!

I groaning in pain kept crawling unable to use magic or anything for that matter, I was stuck undermy own pain.

With a giant grin on my face, I began to laugh like a mad man...

Realizing that I have been too sad about my mother or sister I came to grips with it secretly deep down.

I had wished for years to have a moment like this!

I had wished that an apocalypse would happen someday and I got my wish!

What truly pained me was my father... come to think of it I can't quite remember him even though I know that I know him?

With a darkened face, I fully realized what I had given up making my agonizing crawl became much worse.

Tears running down my cheek I came to grips with my choice.

after a few more days of crawling, I made it back.

even though I did not voice it.

One of my biggest fears was coming true.

One being!

One person I was in a small group of fifty plus.

They all seemed worried but I felt happy.

I could hear Perv and Rory making noises.

Speaking at me then I felt a soft embrace as I began to fade.

rearranging for life was not the hard part of the apocalypse it was really the emotional toll it took that I just pushed into a bottle and hid...

completely slipping into the black I felt uneasy inside but my body was warm and it had been like I was wrapped in something soft.

When I tried to think it became a dream, when was the last time I dreamt?

I had glimpses of things like being carried, or being wrapped up.

But they were just ignored as I laid deeply in my own dreams.