Reminiscing

Her drive to the airport was, as she remembers, relaxing. It has been ages since she was last that relaxed. As a matter of fact, it was probably one of the most relaxed moments of her life, past and present.

As she watched the cab pass by other vehicles on the roads, it was almost as if she was undergoing a cleansing. All her negative thoughts were washed away and she found herself actually reminiscing. Sometimes emotions creep up to us without warning, and we find ourselves on a spiral.

That was exactly what happened at that moment.

She thought back to the little time she spent with her parents and how they doted on her. She thought back to the few peculiar acquaintances she had ever made. She even thought about her first romantic relationship.

Jacob was a sweet boy. Well, as sweet as any first-year university student could be, and he was one of the few people who didn't mind associating with her as an individual without considering her background. It was the first 'Jacob' she ever met who wasn't a bore, but it's not like she had the best experience with people to know who was and wasn't boring or interesting.

The relationship started in a book store. Unfortunately, "Jake", as he liked to call himself, didn't share the same love of books as she did. He was just at his part-time job. Nevertheless, he made the effort to keep up with her interests, which scored a lot of points with her.

The relationship was hot and heavy for the first four months but eventually, the fire fizzled out. Technically, she was bored out of her mind and couldn't keep up with the emotional demand of a relationship, which is why she dumped him 7 months into the relationship. Poor Jake was devastated but as she remembered, she didn't feel much pain from the breakup. Sure, there were moments she wished she had someone to talk to, but that was about the extent of her concern.

She spent quite some time thinking about whether she should call him and tell him of her journey, but eventually decided against it.

The rest of the trip to the airport was spent thinking about the people she knew who were ever kind to her, the people she had a mild dislike for, and her shortcomings. The introspection ended when she was boarding and she started thinking about areas she should improve on, such as her antisocial tendencies and general pessimism.

She still recalls how shaky the plane was as it took off, and how she was both frightened and thrilled. The adrenaline rush was toxic; further amplifying her emotional instability. The high ended when the plane was up in the sky and before she knew it, she was gawking at the clouds and the pleasure and freedom brought by the flight.

Neither of that lasted long though. You can't spend an entire flight watching clouds go by, it gets boring fast, as she found out. Eventually, she dozed off, only to be woken by the turbulence that would mark the demise of all 300+ passengers and crew on board the plane to Cairo.

Despite the countless years that passed, she still recalls the emotions that she experienced as the plane lost control. In the beginning, she was still hopeful that it would be just some turbulence. Later, that turned to fright when she understood that the situation was well beyond the control of the pilots. Finally, there was tranquility.

It was an odd experience, even for her.

While the rest of the passengers were screaming and crying, she just sat there in silence. She was probably the calmest individual on the entire plane, and if it wasn't for the panic of the other passengers, she might have been taken for a freak, or even accused as the cause of the incident.

Watching as the people prayed to their gods, and called their loved ones to leave messages, she just sat there marveling as she took note of the true nature of humans. Some were brave, trying to get hold of and shield their loved ones. Others were cowards who all but collapsed as they peed and shit themselves. There was a variety of reactions but none could rival hers.

As the plane plunged into the sea, and the impact tore everything apart, followed by the flames, she just continued to experience her tranquility.

'I wonder what happens after death. If there's something, I hope it's better than this life.'

That was one of her most prominent thoughts, even as the pain faded and she was overwhelmed by the cold embrace of the void.