Confession (2)

Warning: Strong language

Robbie's POV

"What made you say that you have lost him?" my mom asked, trying to get the hang of the situation.

I said in a muffled tone, "You would be ashamed of me if I tell you the reason"

"Why do you say that, sweety? I promise to be open-minded and listen to what you have to say. I won't judge you" she said, sincerely.

"Really?" I said, with a hollow laugh.

"Really" she assured me

"Even if I say that Tony is an Omega and I got him pregnant?" I told in a shaking voice

My mum looked bewildered. In order to avoid seeing her disappointment, I stared at my foot instead of looking into her eyes. Despite feeling increasingly miserable, I continued on,

"Even if I say that I insulted him and left him because I was too coward to take the responsibility?"

"Did you really?" she asked

There was no disgust, no hate or anger in her voice but I still did not look at her. I took a deep breath and finally confessed,

"Yes, I did. Do you remember the fall when the recession hit and our business fell?" I asked

"Yes," she replied, quietly.

"Dad suddenly transferred me to that public school to cut down the cost of my elite school fee. I met Tony there. Initially, I found him interesting and just wanted to play around. However, I gradually started liking his company. I liked how warm, non-judgmental, courageous, and optimistic he was. It was like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. His family had left him, the entire school used to gossip about him and treated him like garbage. He had to work part-time to earn his college tuition fee. In spite of all that hardships, he was not whining over his miserable fate. I increasingly felt drawn to that dazzle of his. I felt happy and warm whenever I was with him. He made me feel that there is something to look forward to or something to work for. I felt like a better person in his company but I destroyed it all."

"Robbie," mom called me in a slight whisper. For the first time in our conversation, she seemed extremely troubled as she asked, "Did you get affected by his heat and forced him?"

My head snapped up in shock at the question, and I proclaimed loudly, "NO!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!! No matter how badly I treated Tony, I would NEVER go to such an extent. Even though I was affected by the heat, I had enough sense to not force him. It was consensual"

Mum exhaled in relief. "I am very sorry dear to have made that assumption. You said you got him pregnant, so I thought you might have…"

"No, mom. Indeed, I got him pregnant but I did not force him. I would never stoop so low but what I did was just as bad anyway" I said, as my heart fell in my stomach.

"What did Tony do about the pregnancy?" she asked, sounding a little scared.

I gave a soft chuckle as I replied, "Don't worry mum. As opposed to me who offered him money to abort, he had the courage to give birth to Twen. I thought I would eventually forget about him, you know, out of sight, out of mind but I did not. For the last 5 years, I have been looking for him, coincidentally, I met him in my Resort. I wanted to make up for all that I did but..." I couldn't continue any longer.

"But he is not ready to forgive you" she answered in my stead.

My throat was too dry so I nodded. She remained silent. She was looking at me deeply as if trying to figure out what I am thinking. I feel like I always disappoint the ones I love. After a long while, she put a hand on my cheek and made me look at her. She looked serious but there was not a trace of hate, disappointment, or disgust. She spoke in a soft voice,

"Robbie, I won't say that what you did was praiseworthy but I can see where you were coming from. I also know that you deeply regretted your action. All those frivolous activities were your attempts at forgetting your guilt. However, hurting someone you love, leaves a knot in your heart and it cannot be undone so easily. If you want Tony to forgive you, first you need to do it yourself. You need to forgive yourself"

"But my actions are not forgivable! Tony suffer-"

"Ssshhhh," she cut me off, putting a finger on my lips to silence me, "Yes you made a huge mistake that you shouldn't have. Yes, your decisions were wrong but you were just a teen. Even adults get scared when such heavy responsibility is put on their table, what can you expect of a teenager? Tony is an exception though. He is indeed very strong. At such a young age, shouldering responsibility that many adults would run away from….I can see why you love him"

I looked at her not sure what to say. It is true that the qualities Tony possesses are what made me fall for him but that's no reason for me to hurt him.

"Listen to me, Robbie. Not everyone is capable of feeling what you are. Not everyone is capable of accepting their mistake and trying to make up for it. It is hard to accept that you are wrong. It is hard to take steps to do something to get it right but you are trying to. That shows that you have the realization of your wrongdoing. That makes you deserving of forgiveness"

I felt a little embarrassed by her words. She smiled at me, pulled my head down and kissed my forehead, then said lovingly

"Darling, you shouldn't give up. If you want Tony to forgive you then you have to work for it. Respect and forgiveness had to be earned. You can't seat over here feeling guilty and hoping that he will forgive you. If you truly care for him, then show it. Family, love, bonds are very precious, and have you ever seen any precious thing available for free?" Shaking my head sheepishly, I smiled at her. She patted my shoulder before saying, "However, I implore you to not act like Sarah"

Her last sentence threw me off guard. I blinked at her blankly. She chuckled as she replied, "She loves-"

"-my status as a Walker family heir" I agitatedly concluded.

"No dear, she really likes you. She told me that she was fond of you since her school days" I blinked at mum, astonished. She continued, "However, in her blind love for you, she forgot to give you space and respect your feelings. You are my son, so I know you have the same tendency. When you love something, you want it at all costs, but Tony isn't a thing. He is a person with feelings. You need to respect his preferences, give him his space and support him. Your love for him should not be the reason for his distress."

My mum knew me too well. I didn't even tell her about my forceful entry into his life but she understood anyway. She was correct, I was being a jerk and not thinking about Tony's feelings at all. I was in too much hurry. I held mum's hands and said with sincerity,

"You are right mom. I was neglecting his space, emotions, and opinion completely. I will try to better myself. I will earn his forgiveness. I want to be capable of meeting my son. I will try my best not to be the reason for his sadness. Thank you, mum"

Mum hit my forehead softly and said smiling, "Silly boy. Treat him better this time. Not everyone gets a second chance"

"Yes, you're right! You are the best!! How do you do it? You didn't even frown to know your son is bi"

"Is that something to frown upon?" she asked laughing heartily, "As long as the person your with makes you happy, I don't care if it is a man or a woman" she said patting my head.

I wish dad was as accepting as she is but everyone can't get, what they want. At least, I should be grateful that I got the best mum. I will work hard, so that, I can at least give Tony and my son some happiness and good memories.

"Haaahhh" suddenly mum sighed when I was absorbed in my thoughts, "Well, I wish I knew you loved a man. I have to now change the ring to a male's ring now"

"Ring?" I asked, puzzled.

"Marriage ring, of course"

"Mum" I gave an empty chuckle, "I doubt Tony would want to be back with me again but I can give it to him as a gift" I quickly added to not make her upset.

"Hmmm who has seen the future," she said, not a bit discouraged, "All that aside, I want to meet my grandson"

I was dumbfounded at the word 'grandson'. Since I never thought of both my parents and Tony and Twen as one family, I didn't relate to the fact that my son is my mum's grandson. When the fact finally sank in, I felt warm inside. I smiled at her broadly,

"I will try. You know, he has the same eyes as you and me and he is quite fierce"

"Is it, now? I want to meet him even more," she said laughing.