The Will To Live

Warning: This chapter has to do with heavy topics. Parental Guidance is recommended and may be difficult for some readers.

Every new day. I fight. I have relief that those days are counting down. I am scared that Hinata won't like me. I'm like a ticking bomb scared to go off. Then another person will leave me. Beep beep beep! There goes my alarm! I wake up see that it is gonna rain and I walk to school with Hinata. I see him and I freeze. Everything stops. I stop. I forgot about that calendar. The calendar that I have thought about for a month now. I see him. He is the one that I feel to be holding me here. "Kageyama are you okay?" Says hinata worried. I snap out of thought. "I'm fine." He doesn't need to worry about me. I'm worthless. No one will cry when I'm gone. "I have thought about what you said the other day. I don't like you the same. We just met and we can be friends okay?" I look at him and everything just moves again. I see the calendar in my head. I start to cry. I run home. I feel worthless. I sob. "NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME!" My heart is racing. I get to my room and I'm on my bed. I can't seem to move. I just seem to have so much tears in my eyes. I bite my sweatshirt so hard. I felt numb. Three days later. I haven't been to volleyball practice. Daichi comes to my house. Rings the door bell. I hear my parents downstairs talking to him. "Hello I'm Daichi! one of Kageyama's friends can I talk to him?" With tears still left on my face. "Greetings Daichi" I say frightened. "Kageyama why are you upset?" "I don't wanna talk about it." I run out of the house. Almost shove Daichi in the process. "Why can't people leave me alone!" I start to Run to the school, I could barely see when I was running the tears were building in my eyes and I go to practice volleyball. No one is here. Finally. I lay down, grab a volleyball. Look at the ceiling and cry. The world stops when I close my eyes. "Kageyama come have dinner!" I had came down for dinner that night. I told my whole family that I liked boys. My dad seemed okay that night. I had went in my parents room and my dad was gone. My mom told me that I was a sin to our family. That I shouldn't be born. I was 14, when he left. Now I just feel like everyone has left me. "Kageyama you there it is Hinata?"