I’m Here

There seemed to be a preexisting notion that once a couple confesses their love for each other, it's almost guaranteed that they are a couple.

But how do you know if their feelings are true? How can you tell that it's from the bottom of their heart? Devotion, affection, tenderness, and passion — what are the signs?

Lying came as natural as it was to Jiang Shen, who learned how to rely on herself to get what she wants. The only time she truly did pour out her feelings was the time she had noticed Qing Yao.

She felt the driven passion of being able to compete with him. The rush of adrenaline that came out of being the winner. Pulling up all nighters just to be able to be looked at with tenderness and affection, praised for doing a good job.

Until she completely fell in love.

But in the end, when she realized it was only out of selfishness and guilt, her initial feelings of love were lost. She calmed down and recollected herself.

The person that held a special place in her heart and had helped her distract herself from her problems was gone. Like a mirror that had been cracked. The waves of emotions she felt had died down to a deathly stillness.

However despite feeling a sense of relief at such an illusion, there had also come a sense of loss, which to this day had been a problem she'd been facing with herself.

"Why not?"

Jiang Shen stared at Yang Mu. Her eyes assessed the young man before him, trying to make sense of his endearing actions. She wasn't so much as a fool not to notice his feelings for her. But the problem was that she couldn't bring herself to face him.

She was a complete and utter mess. Her mind was often in a blur as she spent her days in bed with anxiety as her companion and depression as her best friend.

If he could see the faint scars on her arms and bruises she had often inflicted on herself out of frustration, would he still be able to look at her with those tender and gentle eyes?

Jiang Shen smiled apologetically, as if she pitied herself. "It's because words are easier to say but hard to commit."

And then Yang Mu understood.

He again felt the familiarity from her. Her words left a lot to imagine. But he could clearly see that neither of the two of them had committed to the feelings they had for each other.

While Jiang Shen did deeply like him to the point of doubting herself if she was ever good enough, the fact that she could never be honest with him was a major factor that affected their relationship.

On the other hand, Qing Yao did feel the same for her, but judging by his actions it fell short on expectations. He went with the flow of feelings, not at all doubting if he really liked her or he had only been swayed by the heat of the moment.

Instead of stopping the farce, he insisted going along with it even though he knew she would be hurt.

Yang Mu understood her a little bit better now. And the way she smiled as if it's all her fault made his heart ache.

He couldn't find the words to comfort her with. But in any case, he also didn't think his words would make her feel better.

Instead of comforting her with empty words, Yang Mu instead chose to silently listen. Maybe his presence would lighten her burden.

She may not be able to share it with him, but the least he could do for her was show support. Not through the words she was sick of hearing, but through actions that's never been done.

Jiang Shen's eyes discreetly flashed with disappointment when she realized that he wasn't saying anything. She couldn't possibly guess what he was thinking.

Maybe he would pity her for deceiving herself with empty promises from another person?

She furiously shook her head. /I have no right to judge him since we haven't known each other for long. Besides, I believe he wouldn't do that./

To her, it sounded wrong to trust in another person wholeheartedly when she had just done it and got her heart broken. But her entire being just told her to believe him.

It was a strange feeling.

All of a sudden, arms had enveloped her entire body as Yang Mu buried his head in the crook of her neck. He breathed in her hair, savoring the scent of mint that filled his entire body with warmth. His strong arms seemed to be holding her so tightly that he was afraid she might disappear.

"Yang... Mu...?"

Jiang Shen became overwhelmed as she felt another wave of emotions rush through her. She couldn't get the words she wanted to say out of her mouth, as if someone had clamped her lips shut. Her eyes began to water as her gaze turned blurry from the tears.

And just as she used all of her willpower to stop herself from crying, Yang Mu whispered, "I'm here."

His voice was like a trigger that had prompted her to burst into tears. Her tears were large and kept falling like waterfalls. The sobs that cried out with despair seemed to wreak havoc in Yang Mu's heart as he held her tighter.

There was only the space of their clothes separating the two of them, as xiaobao could only look on with a gaze of confusion.

When who knows how long had passed, the tear stricken face of Jiang Shen prompted Yang Mu to gently wipe away her tears with his hands.

This time, his big and soft hands cupped her cheeks as Jiang Shen sniffled while she got ahold of herself. Her big doe eyes reminded him of xiaobao, very adorable to the point that he wanted to stare at them forever.

Her hands rested on his shoulder as she glanced at Yang Mu's face. His eyes were incomparably clear and tender. His gaze filled with tenderness and affection.

In this position and situation, how could she possibly not know his feelings for her?

Just the thought of it made her blush madly.