grey

most people in this world are grey, never just white or black, it makes life harder, makes it harder to hate you for all the pain you caused me when you are trying to be better now.

you have changed and yet haven't at the same time.

it's like I don't know you anymore and have to relearn everything from the beginning.

but this awful pain, jealousy, and rage won't simmer, it just keeps rising till it blows over and I feel guilty again because you are trying.

you are different now,

and so am I.

we aren't who we were before, it gives me a sense of a stranger even though you are family, the one I will always love.

but when will I stop hurting you with these cruel words that are aimed at the one you no longer are.

when will I stop longing to have grown up with the you i know now.

our bond has weakened, we talk, we laugh but we aren't what we were before.

you aren't white or black anymore.

you are grey and so am i,

i miss the days i could hate and love you as now all I feel for you is grey.