Chapter 3- Her Hesitance Prevails

She was so happy that she almost forgot that she would like to be a young growing teenage boy into a full grown up man. Her conscience pricked her as she was about to deceive them of her furtive plan in life. She did not want them to despise her and be indignant with her plan to become a boy in a girl's body.

So, when she saw that her mother was calculating the number of meters she would be using for her school uniform, the more she became guilty. It was because Mr. Joshua de la Cruz gave the design of the uniform with the result of her entrance examination that was why she could not refute against her mother's decision to prepare a female uniform. Of course, the cost of the cloth needed was also calculated and computed. Therefore, much as she wanted to tell her mother and father of her plan to wear the male uniform, she couldn't. Her only chance to wear a school uniform was during the physical training for the martial arts. But it would only be a kimono. What she wished for was to wear a man's clothes so that a stylish males' hair cut would just follow naturally.

In the evening of the same day when Mr. de la Cruz visited them, it was a sleepless night for her. She was in deep thought, trying to rake her brain for an alibi to wear a males' uniform instead of a females'. In the morning she became worthless as she was restless due to lack of sleep. To be hopeful, she talked to herself once again. "I shall cross the bridge when I would already be there." She gave herself an assurance that she would be able to have great idea to come up with a realization of her plan.

Knowing that she would be very busy with her upcoming college life, she decided to triple her indulgement in making some soft brooms in order for them to have some stocks for future purchasal of her father's customers. There were also days when she would have spent them, assisting her father during harvest time in their rice field farm. Unlike her fellow youth who were enjoying dance hopping from one place to another, she would prefer to stay at home working in spite of her mother's encouragement.

"Richclar, why don't you go with them to enjoy dancing like them?" Her mother would urge her.

"Mother, please don't mind me at all. In school, I could have the same activity during the would be acquaintance party." She replied. Hence, her summer vacation was spent productively.

With the hectic schedules of everybody, they failed to be attentive to the speedy flying of time that they seemed to be awaken from deep sleep who abruptly realized that summer vacation was over, so, school year began.

Those who are fond of studying were thrilled and excited what would await them in school. For instance, for Richclar, her freshman year in college challenges her more to be an achiever as she knew that there would be close competition among them from the different places of their province. She was not sure if she would excell in her college training as it was a course designed for male students. Nevertheless, she would calm her nerve- wrecking feeling believing that what men can do, females can, too. "Anyway, I am a boy in a girl's body, am I not?" She asked herself again.

As she was the youngest, naturally her father and her mother accompanied her in going to her boarding house to settle down for her schooling. Before leaving her alone in that place, they saw to it that she had all the supplies she needed so she would not be starved. Her parents provided her including her tuition fees, and financial allowance for other school requirements. What her parents requested from her was to burn her midnight oil in order to fulfill her dream of becoming a police officer.

In school, her attraction to her opposite sex, even though they were not her classmates, was noticeable. Most of them would offer a seat beside them in the classroom or anywhere she went. For example, in the canteen, boys would be competing to treat her for a free meal in order to be seated at the table she would like to occupy. Even in the library, where silence is required, a commotion would occur as they would be offering her a seat at the same table and cubicle they were occupying. So, these situations happen everyday no matter how discreet and low profile she would be.

Early in the morning, one day, the president of the student government organization approached her telling her to join them in preparing for the acquaintance party.

"Ms. Samson, I would like to invite you to join our group by representing the freshman level. By the way, I am the president of the SGO here in our school. Just call me Mr. Dennis Peralta." The young male student leader introduced himself enthusiastically.

" Is it okay for everybody although I was not voted during the election? " She asked worriedly.

" Certainly, not at all, because the election would still be done in January. Not these months from June to December." He explained clearly.

"Alright then, when are we going to start planning?" She quickly asked him.

With their cooperation and participation the said party was well prepared with activities they smoothen arguing with each other.

The attire for the party should be a cocktail dress for the girls, coat and tie for the boys. The party was started with a program participated in by the representatives from each level. After the brief program, a ball followed while all of them were enjoying the buffet style of snacks with drinks.

"Guys, let us have a group dance to show to our school mates ahead of us that we would never be behind them." Richclar encouraged her fellow freshmen students yelling so she would be able to be heard. 1%

Not one among them was left seated. They danced to their heart's content noting that they would be declared the most united year level among them. With all their naughtiness, cracking jokes in a crazy dance movement, someone was all eyes to Richclar's every movement. This someone who was seated quietly in a dimly lit corner of the auditorium seemed to enjoy by just observing her.

After each year level's proud presentation of a dance craze, it was time for a random dancing choosing a dance partner of their choice. One who chose Richclar was Dennis Peralta, the SGO president. He danced with her in succession that everyone noticed. Of course, before anyone else could notice his intention to Richclar, that someone who was quietly seated in that dimly lit corner was not a dumb person, knowing that he was already an adult and an instructor.

Without thinking that his hidden feeling for Richclar might be exposed, he went to remind the girl that it was already time for her to be at her boarding house. As an alibi, he told her while Dennis was listening that he could have sent her off to her boarding house as he was also going home... And her boarding house was just his neighbour.

"Sir, can I stay for a while?" She requested.

However, Mr. de la Cruz didn`t think twice. Immediately, he grabbed her hand and forcibly walked her out from the dancing area until they went out of the campus gate. There, despite Richclar's refusal, that was only in her mind, both walked side by side until they reached the boarding House by this obedient young girl.

When she was about to get inside, her teacher had not removed his hand that was holding tightly her right wrist. So she requested: "Sir, take off your hand please. I am now getting inside."

The teacher who was in dazed realized that he was already day dreaming that Richclar was her girlfriend. Before setting her hand free from his, he brushed his mouth to her ear and whispered softly, " You're so gorgeous."

" Sir, what did you say?"

"Nothing." He lied and bade her good night.

When Richclar was already in her room, she felt the safety in it and blamed herself for wearing that cocktail dress that her third elder sister bought for her.

"Can I tell my parents about the behaviour of my teacher a while ago?" she asked herself once again. Now that she was already a freshman student, it seemed that she kept on talking to herself. Specifically, asking herself of those situation or circumstances that confused her.

" Perhaps, it would be a better excuse to request from my parents that the uniform for males that I would be wearing would keep me safe from sexual harassment." She thought while sleep was about to make her eyes closed until the next day.

Fatigue of the activity last night, she skipped eating her breakfast as she woke up noon time. While eating her lunch someone knocked at her door. Unexpectedly, she found her mother outside her door as she opened it. Her mother brought her the weekly supplies that she needed . She hugged her before she kissed her hand at once even though she was not yet gotten inside her room. She willingly helped her put inside the luggage she had and offered her to eat.

While they were both eating, someone was knocking again.

"Are you expecting a visitor?" Her mother asked.

"No mother." She replied briefly.

"Then who could it be?", While talking she stood up and opened the door to see who was knocking.

"Hey! It is you, sir? Anything that you would like to tell me?" Her mother asked him.

"Nope. Only that I saw you arrived a moment ago. So, I thought it would be nice talking to you about Richclar."

"Come in. What is it all about?" Her mother worriedly inquired.

"It seems that your daughter attracts many admirers. I am willing to protect her from them if you are willing to agree with me." Mr de la Cruz suggested earnestly.

"Will it not be a disturbance with you, sir?" Mrs. Samson said.

"Not at all. It would be an honour to be trusted with a beautiful young girl like her. One more thing, it is that we should be in close supervision with her so her scholarship would be maintained."

"Can I butt in, please?" The young girl requested.

"What is it that you want to say?" Her mother agreed to join their conversation.

"I can take care of myself and.... and I want to request that..." she stopped talking as she was hesitating to continue what she would like to express.

"Excuse me. I would wash these dishes." She hurriedly went to where she washed them.

Her mother was looking at Mr de la Cruz and asked in curiosity. "What is it that she was hesitant to relate?"

The teacher just shrugged off his shoulder as he had no idea what was in Richclar's mind.