The birth of a- wait a second, where's the child?
*Pa!*
A loud, crisp and clear slapping sound rang out inside the birthing room of a well-known and reputable hospital.
As it was a birthing room, one would expect it to have been dealt by the doctor to the newborn's butt cheeks.
Alas~, it wasn't like that at all.
"What the he-!"
*Pa!*
Another one.
The people inside this room, had the luck(?) to witness an amazing event take place.
"Wait! Stop i-!"
*Pa!*
"Ah! Somebody! Please take it awa-!"
*Pa!*
"R-really now! It actually hur-!"
*Pa!*
It actually wasn't an angry mother being sad at having her baby born wrong, or having her husband leave her right after giving birth that was letting out her frustration by beating the doctor.
Nor was it a nurse that found out the doctor was cheating on her with another woman or, even better, with the mother!
No, nothing overly dramatic like that.
Just a newborn.
Slapping a doctor.
One can imagine just by that how utterly confused and shocked the people, even the extremely exhausted mother, were at witnessing such an…otherworldly(?) scene.
Hearing the pitiful doctor crying out for help, had the other people inside the room awaken from their stupor.
The three nurses immediately tried comforting the newborn inside the doctor's hands before taking him away completely. The doctor momentarily heaved a sigh seeing that.
That actually hurt like hell.
But there was no way that he would admit that.
"D-doctor! What is it?! Is it a boy?! PLEASE TELL ME IT'S A BOY!?"
The people inside the room were once again shocked, this time by the mother's sudden vigor.
'W-why would she want a boy so much?!'
"Y-YES! I-it's a boy! No doubt about it! OH, and he's got a pretty healthy looking one too! A-actually s-should it even be that b-big right now?!"
While the doctor was stumped for an answer (and a little jealous), he didn't notice that the three nurses who were taking care of the baby had already frozen over, not moving an inch.
"AH! I'm EXTREMELY glad!"
And with that the mother fainted.
'W-what the-?!'
What was up with that moan and the 'EXTREMELY'?! What about the father?
With the mother now out cold, the doctor began searching for the child's father in the room, and...
"Life. Has no. Meaning. Anymore." *Bang*
...he found him rather quickly, though the father of the newborn was in a corner of the room – smashing his head against the wall, looking EXTREMELY dejected and muttering strange things that the doctor couldn't quite wrap his head around.
'What's his problem? I-is he angry because it's a boy? He should at least look at the bab-...
"...Oi. The hell are you three doing?"
Searching for the nurses who had the baby, the doctor found them – in another corner of the room, that is.
"HIIIIIII?!"
The nurses hearing the doctor call them turned around, but with their hands behind their back, as though hiding something, and their faces flushed as red as a tomato.
"…..Why…are you hiding that… boy?"
"NO-NOTHING!!! WE ARE DOING NOTHING AT ALL!!!"
Seeing their outburst the doctor thought 'No way…' and tried to take the boy back from the three, now frantic nurses.
"Give me the baby! The parents need to see it, don't they?!"
"W-why would they?! T-they can make a-another one can't they?!"
"Wha-?!"
What the hell are these women thinking?!?
"You leave me no choice!"
And with that he cornered the nurses.
And began fondling them while also trying to get to the baby.
"A-Ah! D-doctor! I-I'm going to report you for s-sexual harassment!"
"Then I'm going to report you for child kidnapping!"
"Iyah!"
"Just! Give! Me! The damn! BABY!"
"NEVER!"
"W-why you!
Exactly when their fight was heating the door to the birthing room opened and in came – an old man.
"OI! Useless son, where da heck is ma gran'so- …huh?"
The four people inside the room were stunned, as they were in quite the ambiguous position.
"Oi, oi! An orgy inside the hospital and nobody called me?!"
While the man was anything but decent, it helped the doctor regain his senses and steal the bab-
"…"
"AH!"
The doctor just let the nurse take the baby, as his eyes slowly became those of a dead fish, with no color inside them.
He slowly walked to the corner and –
"Life. Has no. Meaning. Anymore." *bang*
"Life. Has no. Meaning. Anymore." *bang*
Began banging his head against the wall along the father.
"…m'kay that's definitely weird but Imma not goin' ta ask about it. So, where's ma gran'son."
"W-WE DON-*cough* I-I mean, we don't know s-sir, another nurse came by before a-and took it away."
"...Welp what can I say, imma just wait outside then."
"Y-yes, that would be for the best."
Seeing the old man leave, the nurses huddled together again and –
"D-does anyone h-have a… bag b-big enough?
"Ah! A-aya!"
"Y-you're quite the b-bold one, aren't you!"
Began making plans for a TRUE child kidnapping.
While all this was unfolding, the baby boy inside the nurses' arms –
'…*mental sigh* what a bother…'
Was already at his mental limits.