Can't Bear

Yue collected the last of her items in the orphanage and said her goodbye to the director.

"Would you like to see the children before you go?" the director kindly offered.

"Maybe in a more convenient time. It's not good to disturb them from learning" Yue knew that she would create some commotion and she really didn't like such attention.

The director, knowing that she was telling the truth, walked her to the door.

"Then, please take care Ms. Yue"

"I will, please always take care of yourself as well Grandpa An" Yue returned in a whisper.

Vaguely, but Director An heard those words and his eyes can't help but redden.

However, some things are better not said.

Yue didn't go back home but instead headed to her brother's company.

Since Yue once managed the company, almost all employees are now aware of her identity and no one barred her way in unlike the time she just came back from studying abroad.

"Good morning Miss Crest, please wait inside while I call on the President" the secretary respected the young lady of the Crest family for her ability, and knowing how much the President cares for his sister, she immediately attended and let her in the office.

"It's alright, let my brother finish what he needed to do and you can go back to working as well. Don't worry, I can take care of myself" Yue reassured the secretary knowing they were instructed by her brother to place her care in priority.

"Please don't hesitate to call if Miss Crest need my assistance. Excuse me" the secretary made a small bow and resumed her work. However, she still sent a message to Assistant Yi regarding the young lady's presence.

Yyan who received the news immediately finished the meeting and hurriedly went back to his office. Before anyone else can enter, he already closed the door.

He found Yue sleeping on the sofa with her head leaning on the backrest.

She unknowingly fell asleep while reading a book which is now loosely hanging in her hand.

Some of her soft curls fell on her nose making her twitch and Yyan found it cute.

But knowing she was sleeping in an uncomfortable position, he gently lifted up her head and placed a pillow underneath.

He took the book from her hand then covered her with blanket.

"Brother have you caught some fish?" the little girl took a peek from the back of the young man.

"Moon saw her brother but all she thinks about is food" the young man faced the cheeky girl and messed with her hair. Fortunately, the little girl seemed to not mind such things.

"Uhn, Moon is hungry" the little girl touched her rounded tummy pitifully.

"Little Moon is so honest" the young man sighed helplessly, but his eyes are full of affection.

"I know my brother is the best. Let's get the food, get the food!" little girl dance happily and started playing with water.

"Be good little Moon, stay here by brother's side" the young man tapped his hand on the flat stone by his right side indicating for the little girl to sit.

"Uhn, stay by brother's side" Moon immediately ran besides her brother then lean on his shoulders.

Those were some of her precious memories, but over time she seemed to forget it. Forget him.

Recently she seemed to hear his voice, so near, he should be-

Yue tried to reach out and seem to hold onto something and whispered something in her sleep as tears fell from her eyes.

"Brother" she bitterly whispered.

"I'm here"

"How?" Yue woke up bewildered.

"Who is Yue talking about?" Yyan only thought that Yue is still groggy from being asleep.

"Ahh, brother, no"

"Such a sleepy head"

"Sorry" Yue was lost in her dream felt bad.

"Hey, what's with the apology. You're making it sound like we're strangers" Yyan didn't like to hear that word coming from Yue.

"No, you know I didn't mean that"

"Of course, I was just kidding" seeing Yue felt awkwards, Yyan didn't dwell on the topic.

"Yeah"

"You seem tired nowadays, is Kiro making you work a lot? I will give him a call later on" Yyan tried to lighten up the mood of which Yue caught on.

"Brother shouldn't do that else I receive his tearful eyes and loads of crap" Yue touched her ears imagining the scenario of Kiro's endless chatter.

"Watch your mouth young lady" Yyan thought he really should give Kiro a call concerning the words Yue had been learning in his company.

Yue realized what words slipped through her mouth and shut it tight.

"Alright, tell me the reason you can't wait for me to go home" Yyan said as soon as Yue seem to go back to normal. Unfortunately, he knew she had something else going on instead of just seeing him because she missed him.

"Well, it's not really that urgent, I just got excited from the news that I heard to today and just found myself wanting to see you"

Yue knew eventually she had to tell Yyan everything regarding her life. Since she was also not sure of her situation, she needed to give him a buffer.

Yue is not so dumb not to realize Yyan's feelings towards her, but her current situation doesn't give her enough leeway to face it, especially now that she almost confirmed her former existence.

But she wanted to make sure not to leave him out of it.

Yyan didn't inquire but let Yue continue her story. But in his mind, he already had an idea where this is going.

"I grew up in an orphanage without ever knowing or having a clue of who my parents are. All I know is I used to own a pendant like the one I saw from the collection of the Crown Prince. I always wore it wherever I go but I never tried to look for my origin"

"Until the end, I held onto to it like I'm holding for my life without knowing that it really is my life"

"When I opened my eyes into your sister's body, I never thought that my original self survived, so it didn't take me a long time to accept my new situation"

"Being your sister is one of the most beautiful thing that I could ever hope for. You gave me the warmth of a family that I never knew"

"But the repeated incident of me going back to my original body made me doubt the reality"

"At first, I thought I was dreaming"

"But it the event seemed to be triggered whenever either of my body is in danger"

"Today I went back to the orphanage to see if I could gather some information regarding my past life and that's when I was informed that I'm still indeed living albeit unconscious"

"To be honest, at this point, I don't know what to make of it"

"Then, would you like to go back?" Yyan asked the gist of the matter. The question he didn't like to hear the answer.

"My life back then seemed to be surreal. It's not that I wanted to forget, but my memories seem to be leaving me. The strong emotions that I once held seemed to be diluted with time"

"At first, I wanted to get some revenge for the person who designed to ruin my life which lead me to killing myself. But right now, it's just a mere thought"

"The things that I can't do before, I managed to fulfill one by one. The hollowed space in my heart was filled with your presence"

"Everything had been going smoothly for me, even if there are dangers, I still wanted to stay, so why, when I was already inclined to maintain this life, why am I given another difficult choice to make"

"Why, when I was left all alone to fend for myself, when I thought I never could see them again, why do I have to see how much they missed me, care for me, and love me"

"I wanted to be selfish, but I also can't bear seeing them suffering"

Yue seems to be saying things from another person's perspective but Yyan can feel her breaking.