Relationships 2

Hey Everyone, guess whos back with another couple of stories eh?

Okay lets see, we talked about my darling mother and father in the previous chapter of relationships but no more of that sob story now.

Let us talk about actual sexual relations shall we?

Now at times you can't really label relationships, take it from me, I still don't know how to label my previous relationship. It started out as friends ,close friends , friends with benefits and then him being my "boyfriend". But even then I used to feel very weird calling him my boyfriend because it just didn't feel.... right.

Now in my current relationship when I call my significant other "boyfriend", it feels more than right. That I know I like it and I accept it. But it wasn't the same for my "ex". It just felt so forced. Like I was forcing myself to please my inner self or him? I have no idea what it truly was. I can conclude that it was okay? while it lasted, which was a month but other than that I'm glad it wasn't longer as I found someone who I truly love now.

I am someone whos turned 19 a couple days ago, and I've been in only 2 relationships until now but have had my fair share of, well, you could say perhaps, "dating" guys?

There was one guy I dated when I was 13, who was my ex crushes bestfriend.

Now Now, I know what you might be thinking,

"Kiwi did you really date your crushes bestfriend?", uhhh, yes I did, for the singular purpose of being more closer to my ex crush, which I can tell you backfired rather spectacularly.

So lets call the guy X and call my ex crush Y.

Y was meeting with X in our apartment complex and they were walking around while I was out playing with my friends. X saw one of the older girls and said something along the lines of

'Oh she's pretty damn hot', to which Y replied that she is 2 years older to them, so X then looked at me and went, 'She's hot too, is she our age?', well yes I was, twas the story.

Here it gets a bit creepy here, this guy followed me for the entire 2 hours he was there and while I was getting back home from the garden, he walked past me and touched my hair without me knowing.

In front of his friends....And no one stopped him when he tried to touch me without consent but okay, 13 year olds am I right....?

But Next day when I met Y, he told me all about X and that I should hook up with him and as a kid who used to was very easy to intimidate and scared young girl who took this as a chance to get close to her crush, accepted it and actually met up with X and dated him for 2 days.

Yes just 2 days because honestly I realized this was just not worth it. He seemed extremely arrogant and Y's manipulation didn't work on me. Y kept trying to tell me that I should not dump him for he was so rich and I was apparently his first crush and he is one of the top hot guys in their class and that I was "missing" an opportunity to date X.

I honestly don't understand what do you expect a 13 year old to do when they get the information that their ex's family is rich? I was just gawking at Y when he actually thought that I was some sort of gold digger running around for dudes who had loads of money.

X even called me the day he was in the airport before boarding the plane to Africa, where he was going for a vacation and that was the first time I spoke to him, mind you that, and guess what he told me on the call?

"I...I..I love you"

.....

Ok, so because I was a very rude kid, I replied to him with an I hate you and immediately gave the phone back to Y. And X started crying for which I felt extremely guilty, so I asked him to meet me. Well Y was pissed at me for apparently "digging the hole deeper".

All things ended comparatively well though because I met X in a week, and dumped him the next day by telling that I liked someone else and have liked this person for around 2 years (I actually liked my ex crush for 4 years but later on with that story).

Thing is I might have given X a chance if only he was much less clingier. Dude was messaging and calling me the moment I reached home from school and my grandparents were sitting right in front of me. I couldn't really take a chance because I did not even like him so why fuck my life up if my sweet lovely mother got to know about what I have been up to?

However I am the clingy one with my current boyfriend and I actually feel genuine pain for him because he needs to handle me being extremely clingy and annoying and depressed. My ex couldn't handle my depressed ass and started ghosting me, which wasn't really a nice thing to do but well, to each of their own.

I can tell you from experience that merely sexual relations can never stay that way. You will start having feelings for each other no matter what , at least one might, and you would just break your heart or the other person's heart. So tread lightly on that line. I know that it works for some people but 90% of the time it doesn't.

For example my first relationship started of as a joke with a bet, which turned out into a sexual bet and then it turned into more of a weird no label thing, can't really pin point it anywhere. But yes I did use the same trick with my current boyfriend where we agreed upon a "best friends with benefits" situation and now either of us frown at the thought of sharing the other with someone.

I have had friends who have been in relationships since they were 10-11 years old and here I am who hasn't even had her first kiss yet at 18. It might be soon I am sure of that but you cannot stop the power of the almighty horny. My girlfriend is going to be 20 soon and the only relationship she has had was an online complicated thing when she was 14 and the guy was 20. Creepy yes but luckily she put an end to that shit. But if I start spouting the truth, it is that physical relation doesn't really matter if you are not ready or just not in the state of mind to do anything. You can wait till you are 25 if you want to or start at a very young age like 13.

One of my close friends lost his virginity to his cousin who was 15 and he was 13. I want to say lucky bastard but....nope. Cousin and 13..... Well to each his own I say, at least now he's 29 and been in a committed relationship with a girl he started dating at 14. So yes you can meet your soulmate very early on.

I met mine on 1st January 2021. On goddamn new years. The anniversary gifts will just be the new year's gifts too! NOOOOOO!

Now I know some of you might not believe in the idea of soulmates or just true love in general, but trust me when I say it really does exist. Just be patient and it will come to you. I used to find it a very ridiculous thought too, the idea of soulmates and true love just seemed like a mystical and hysterical topic for someone who has been around a lot of broken relations and divorces.

But it does exist. It seems as if I might be joking but I promise you I am not. I have seen my share of people breaking up. Violent ways, friendly ways, Awkward ways, Cheating ways, etc.

My parents had an extremely violent and cheating way of a broken relationship. But that is a story for the next chapter now. That chapter will be rough and rutted as hell but it might be something children with single parents might be able to relate to.

Until next time my lovelies!

P.S. Yes I had a crush on a dude for 4 years. Bleh, now stop judging me.