"This place is fucking dark" - said Kurotsuchi while looking around.
"I know, and the worst thing is that we can't use our chakra" - replied Tsunade while looking at her back and noticing how the luggage had decreased, unfortunately its weight remained the same.
*It was then that Kurama created a lantern with a squirrel, a rope and a lantern*.
"Where did the squirrel come from?" - Kurotsuchi asked in surprise.
"The question should be why is he using a lantern to make a lantern?" replied Tsunade while holding the bridge of her nose.
"I don't know, nor do I care" - Kurotsuchi said neutrally - "At least now we have some illumination, Motherfucker!"
Kurotsuchi couldn't hold back the scream of terror when she saw a hideous face being illuminated by Kurama's flashlight, only for the group to notice how Tayuya had appeared out of nowhere - "Thanks for the help."
"You know we can't do anything to help you" - Kurama replied as he shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't even have arms" - Kurotsuchi replied innocently.
"I don't want Naru-chan to have me in his sights" - replied Tsunade as she shrugged her shoulders.
"You don't know how much I hate you guys right now" - Tayuya growled as she noticed how the group had reached a grave.
"Kya!" - a sharp cry echoed through the cave as the silhouette of a pink-haired woman appeared in front of them. She was wearing a Victorian suit that was slightly torn while a spectral blue aura surrounded her pale skin.
"I knew it would be you, Sakura" - Kurama said neutrally.
"Do you think I wish to do this!" - Sakura shouted as she narrowed her eyes - "I haven't yelled like this since I started dating Sasuke-kun! Not to mention that this is stupidly cliché!"
"I know" - sighed Kurama as he shook his head - "Ok, I apologize for making you uncomfortable."
"Easy, I wasn't busy and honestly yelling this loud is relaxing me, maybe I should do it once in a while" - replied Sakura as she shrugged her shoulders.
"Anyway, I want you to give me the sphere" - said Kurama calmly - "I'm a little tired of all this".
"I'm sorry, but the sphere is no longer in my possession" - Sakura replied as she shook her head - "I handed it over to my boss so she could steal its powers."
"This has to be a fucking joke" - muttered Kurama while holding the bridge of his nose - "Anyway, we'd better continue on our journey"
"I apologize, but that won't be possible" - said Sakura as her eyes flashed with malice - "No one will get out of here unless I'm defeated! Kya!"
The cave began to shake with Sakura's shout as those present looked at each other.
"Kurama, it's your turn" - said Kurotsuchi seriously.
"Ok" - sighed Kurama as he walked to the pink-haired woman - "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice."
Sakura quickly stood on guard, but to her surprise, Kurama didn't attack - "You're not going to fight?"
"No, I don't need to" - Kurama replied as he motioned her to come closer.
Sakura slowly approached and listened to what he had to tell her, only for her to start shaking after a few seconds - "SASUKE-KUN!"
Sakura quickly flew at full speed out of the cave, startling everyone present but Kurama.
"What did you say to her to make her react that way?" - Tsunade asked as she raised an eyebrow.
"That Sasuke was about to go to a bachelor party where Ayane Nee's friends would be the strippers" - answered Kurama as he shrugged - "Although I obviously left some details out of context to make her overthink it."
"You're diabolical" - smiled Tayuya wickedly.
"Anyway, we'd better continue our journey" - said Kurotsuchi, who already wanted to stop having this strange appearance.
* * *
*The group quickly reached their final destination, the castle of the fallen goddess, Kaguya *
Kurama, Tsunade, Kurotsuchi, and Tayuya, quickly entered the castle while destroying the goddess' minions, only to arrive at a huge room.
"Déjà vu," said Kurama as he watched the room begin to light up with blue flames as they advanced.
The group slowly looked up and noticed the majestic figure of Kaguya, who was wearing a silver kimono that unlike her normal robes, this one matched her voluptuous body - "I've been waiting for your arrival for a long time."
Kurama narrowed his eyes as he watched the woman slowly descend.
"Ok, it's time to kick that woman's huge ass" - Kurotsuchi said jealously as he took a close look at the woman's figure that she normally hid with her garments.
"I don't think I'll be of much help, Kurama" - said Tsunade as she looked at her husband.
"Neither do I" - Tayuya replied with a frown - "Not to mention that I'm sure that little red macaque will do something to me if I move a single inch."
*And they said the pink cotton head didn't learn*.
"Shut up red monkey!" - Tayuya shouted in fury and embarrassment.
". . ." - the others just watched as the pink-haired girl started fighting with the Storyteller (Naruto).
"Do you want to do it the easy way, or the hard way?" - Kurama asked as he raised an eyebrow.
"As much as I would like to accept your proposal, you know very well how the book works" - replied Kaguya while shaking her head.
"Ok, at least I tried" - sighed Kurama while shrugging his shoulders - "Anyway, you could at least tell me why you have that sphere".
"The kids asked me to guard it until midday" - Kaguya replied calmly, though her expression quickly changed to a serious one - "Anyway, it's time we got this over with"
"I share your opinion" - Kurama replied as he narrowed his eyes and stood on guard.
"I'm in!" - Tayuya shouted as he ran against the Otsutsuki woman - "The faster this story ends, the sooner I can go punish that little red monkey!"
But before she could do anything else, she tripped over the insect Kaguya had summoned in her path - "I hate this fucking story!"
*She reads my mind!*
Kurama, Kurotsuchi and Tsunade, could only remain silent as they watched Tayuya smash her face into the wall.
"I don't know whether to laugh or cry" - muttered Tsunade with a neutral expression on her face.
"Probably laugh" - replied Kurama as he ran against Kaguya with Kurotsuchi in his hands.
"I guess it's time for us to fight again" - said Kaguya as a huge amount of energy surrounded her body. A small smile appeared on her lips as she ran against her opponent - "Sounds perfect to me."
Kurama smiled back as Kurotsuchi slammed into an energy sword that Kaguya had created.
The two combatants, quickly entered into a destructive bout of Kenjutsu as they began to wreak havoc on the place.
*The battle was exciting and chaotic, but Kurama the barbarian was fighting a battle he could not win*.
"What are you talking about!" - Kurama shouted with a frown - "I'm clearly kicking Kaguya's beautiful and sexy ass with the help of my Kurotsuchi weapon!"
Kaguya blushed at the white-haired man's words, only to shoot him a seductive look.
*Who's the narrator?*
Kurama fell silent when he heard the question.
*Who is the narrator?*
"You" - Kurama muttered with annoyance when he heard his son's question.
*Now as I was saying, Kurama was fighting a battle he couldn't win*.
Kurama felt his body freeze in place as Kaguya attacked him mercilessly and without him being able to do anything to stop her - "I'm sorry honey."
* * * * *
"Hey, Nii-chan!" - Shiki shouted in annoyance - "The hero is supposed to win!"
"Let's just say that this hero took away my last bowl of ramen" - replied Naruto with a huge smile - "As I was saying, the battle continued and the heroes couldn't take it anymore!"
The little Uzumaki could only shake their heads at their older brother's words, after all, they knew how vengeful Naruto was when ramen was involved.
"And they all died, the end" - Naruto finished as he closed the book.
"That was completely anticlimactic" - said Mashiro as she left together with Kureha.
"Tousan is going to punish you, Nii-san" - muttered Shiki as he looked at his older brother.
"Only if he catches me" - smirked Naruto, only to freeze when he felt a familiar presence behind him.
"Right, I just have to catch you" - said Kurama as he narrowed his eyes.
Naruto slowly stepped back, only to feel a hand on his shoulder.
"Hello, little red monkey" - smiled Tayuya as his eyes sparkled with wickedness.
Naruto started to sweat even more when he saw how Tsunade was smiling at him - "You've been bad, Naru-chan, now let's talk about the [Luggage Cow]"
Kurotsuchi said nothing, she just cracked her knuckles as a smile that foreshadowed pain appeared on her lips.
"Come on kids" - Kaguya said as she took the little ones with her. The woman held a 5-colored soccer ball in her hands as she retreated.
"Help me, Kaguya Kaasan!" - Naruto shouted in fear as he watched his only lifeline go.
"I'm sorry Naruto, but you brought this on yourself" - said Kaguya as she disappeared from the scene.
"We have many things to talk about, Naruto" - said Kurama coldly - "But first let's start with the punishment of no ramen for a month!"
Naruto's cries of anguish echoed in the Uzumaki residence as everyone wondered what mischief the red prince had done now.