Chapter 2.38

I woke up when Addie began crying and slowly got up. I picked her up and carried her downstairs. I went to the kitchen, got her bottle, and began feeding her. When she finished, I started up the coffee maker and put her in her high chair. I quickly drank some if my coffee as I felt like my head would explode. I was surprised when Chase walked into the kitchen while yawning.

"Morning," he mumbled before making his own coffee and drinking it. "Did you have fun with Cam and Sean?"

I nodded, "suffering now, but it was fun."

His face turned to worry, "did Jayden go and get you? He was really mad when he found out you left and didn't answer your phone."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head with a sad smile to him, "we haven't gotten to talk about it, so it's probably not right to say just yet." I snickered, "but I can tell you that I hit on just about everyone in the bar. From the spotty memory I have, I was quite the flirt."

He groaned, "you're such a handful."

I laughed quietly, "you don't know the half of it." I yawned, "could you watch Addie for a bit? I'm going to go change."

"Sure."

I slowly went upstairs and quietly made my way into the bedroom. I saw that Jayden was sleeping on the bed, so I crept over to my closet and got out a tank top. As I unbuttoned my shirt, I went to the dresser and got out a pair of long shorts. I slid off my shirt and replaced it with the tank top before swapping out my jeans for the shorts.

"Trying to sneak out without waking me up?"

I was startled slightly, but didn't turn to face him. "I thought you might want to sleep in after a trip. I just need to get ready for the day."

"So when are we going to talk?"

I looked to him from the corner of my eye, "that's up to your schedule."

He sighed deeply and sat up, "I'm sorry I ignored you when you needed me. But I think you're blowing this way out of control."

I sighed before putting my clothes in the hamper. I went to the bathroom and freshened up. I looked through the mirror and saw Jayden come over to me and he stood behind me.

"I've missed you. I don't want to argue and avoid each other. What do I need to do to fix this?"

I began brushing my teeth so I could have time to think and calm down before I answered. I rinsed out my mouth before breathing deeply, "there are some things I haven't gotten to tell you and some things I know you are keeping from me."

"I'm not keeping anything from you." He suddenly placed his hands on my hips and leaned against me. "I've missed you so much," he whispered into my ear before kissing it. "I should have enough time for at least one round."

I shoved him off me, "screw yourself. " As I went back into the bedroom, I grabbed out my sneakers and a pair of socks. I turned back towards the bathroom and stared him down, "better yet, go downstairs and take care of Addie." I went downstairs, grabbed my headphones and phone, and slipped on my socks and shoes. I looked to Cora as she slowly walked down the stairs.

"You're up early."

I nodded but didn't look up as I didn't want to take out my anger on her. She didn't do anything. I stood and went to the door, "I'm heading out for a run."

"Is your body up for that?"

I nodded, "I'll be back in time to take the twins to school." I left the house and began jogging. Soon my entire body felt more relaxed, so I picked up speed and ran my heart out.

When I got home, I didn't go into the house rather into the back yard. I found the water hose, turned it on, and doused my head in water. I turned it off before sitting down in the yard to try to cool off. I laid back in the grass and closed my eyes as I enjoyed the endorphins from my run.

I opened my eyes when the back door opened to see Emit coming over with a towel. "Chase said you might need this."

"Thanks."

"So you're still into running? How far did you go?"

"12 miles since I didn't have long."

After I rubbed off my arms and hair, Emit extended his arm and hoisted me to my feet. I followed him inside as I continued ruffling the towel through my hair. I smiled toward the twins as they came down the stairs with Jayden following while carrying Addie.

"Morning kiddos."

Archer suddenly sprinted down the remainder of the stairs and to the kitchen, "I got it!"

Ashley let out a groan, "I wanna get it!"

"Too early for whining, baby." Ashley came over and I kissed her head, "did you sleep okay?"

She nodded but we both turned to Archer when he sprinted over. "Daddy's house doesn't have your bottles, so I got a glass."

I kissed his head and took the glass, "that's perfect, thanks sweetie." I quickly drank the water before looking to Chase as he came over toward me.

"Its too bad Bridget doesn't live with us anymore."

"Bridget?" Emit asked as he looked to Chase.

"One of Elijah's housekeepers. She ran with me every morning when we lived at that house." I ignored Jayden's glare, "well let's get everyone to school."

"I should get to work." Jayden said before coming over and giving Addie to me. He kissed me gently and I fought the urge to move away. "I'm only doing a half day so I'll see you soon. I love you."

"Me too," I mumbled before moving away and to the front door. The twins rushed to follow and got buckled in the car as I buckled Addie into her seat.

When we came back, I spent the morning playing with Addie. After she went down for a nap, I laid down on the couch to try to think through all that happened last night. Well, at least what I can remember. I got up from the couch when my phone vibrated and saw 'here'. I went to the door and opened it to see Marie with a large smile. She quietly followed me to the living room and she sat beside me on the long couch.

"So did you two talk?"

I sighed, "no, I ended up going out and drinking with those old friends you met." I looked to her sadly, "I screwed up again and made things worse. Jayden came to get me from the bar and I was making out with my friend."

"Oh shit."

"We still haven't even talked other than me throwing a bunch of stuff at him in an angry, drunken rant." I leaned back on the couch, "he said he's going to come home early today so we can talk but, honestly, I don't believe it."

"It sounds like you two need to talk and find your faith in each other."

"You're right." I leaned my head back and looked to the ceiling, "but it seems I'm the only one making this top priority. I understand that Jayden has a really important job, but it seems like it has take over everything." I fought not to cry, "I don't want this for the rest of my life."

We both froze as the front door quietly opened and we waited to see who it was.

When Cora came into the room, my heart dropped. She gave me a slight smile, "hey."

I choked, "he's not coming."

Her face turned to pain, "an emergency meeting came up. He wanted me to come talk to you and see if we can resolve things."

I began crying and quietly chuckled while covering my eyes with my hands. "He really doesn't get it." I stood and wiped my face, "he's clearly not ready for this, all of this."

I took off my ring and Marie rushed to put it back on me. "Don't do something extreme!"

I pushed her hand that held the ring away. "I think it would be best if I take the kids for a while. Jayden is not ready for this serious of a relationship and forcing it will just make this worse." I looked to Cora, "I don't want him to follow me. I want him to figure out what he really wants in his life. He's not ready for marriage. Just because we are parents to our children does not mean we have to force ourselves to be together." I took a deep breath as I began crying again, "I can't marry him if this is how we will be."

Cora took my hands, "let me call him."

"Cora, he's probably not going to come."

Anger filled her, "I'm not going to let him screw this up! Don't move."

Marie took my hand and brought me back to the couch. She put the ring into my hand and closed it around the ring. "Hold onto it."

I heard Cora's voice rise from the other room and felt my heart ached.