Misplaced

I groggily opened my eyes and could feel my skin tingling again. I knew it must have been night time. My fevers always seem to come back at night, even if the time is artificial. I wouldn't have minded the tingling so much if the heat didn't cause me to break out in a sweat that stung my open sores and caused the others to itch. Despite the chills that shook me I kicked off the blanket knowing I needed to cool down.

I suddenly felt a hand gently touch my shoulder and jumped with surprise. My head quickly whipped around to see an equally startled Thana as she fumbled to catch the bowl that had fallen from her hand. With a loud clang the metal bowl dropped to the floor spilling all of its contents, but neither Thana nor I broke eye contact to assess the spill. I felt frozen to the spot, nervously wondering what she was going to do next.

Thana cleared her throat and bent down to pick up the bowl. "I am sorry for startling you," she said quietly. Still in a daze I just stared back at her. My stare seemed to make her uncomfortable, so she quickly turned away. "I will go refill this," she announced before walking to the other end of the room. With her back turned to me I was able to collect myself and remember why she was here.

I watched as she pulled out a vial of dark fluid from a cabinet along the wall. She carefully measured the amount she needed and poured it into the bowl. When she was done and had put the vial away I expected her to turn around right away, but instead she lingered there. Her entire posture was tight and anxious, her shoulders hunched over as she pressed her palms to the counter. I opened my mouth to ask if she was alright, but before I could utter a sound I saw her take a deep breath and turn around.

She stared into the bowl as she walked towards me, unable to make eye contact as if she were guilty of something. My heart started to beat a little faster at her unusual behavior. When she knelt beside my cot I subconsciously inched away from her to edge of the mattress. She noticed my movement and sighed, finally looking up at me with a weak smile. "Here, drink this," she said as she started to bring the bowl to my lips.

My heart began to pound as I looked at the mysterious fluid, its bitter smell crawling up my nose. I shook my head. "N-no, I don't want it," I stutterd. Thana's face fell but she quickly put on a nervous smile in an attempt to convince me.

"Please, Flora, it will make you feel better," she pleaded.

I nervously gulped and shook my head again. "I don't know what's in it, so I'm not taking it," I said.

Thana looked frustrated and confused. "But you've taken this before," she argued before her eyes went wide with realization. She looked at me for a moment, and I watched as her eyes changed from shock to sadness. She looked away as her body caved in a little with fatigue. "I woud never poison you, Flora," she whispered. "I know I have come across as harsh and threatening," she admitted before turning to look me in eye, "but I would never cause you harm like that. So please, take the medicine."

I studied her face trying to discern if she was sincere, but I couldn't find a flicker of doubt in her eyes. I glanced down at the dark liquid and breathed in its scent. The bitterness was unpleasant but also familiar. I closed my eyes and silently hoped that I would be ok before I gave Thana a nod. She brought the bowl to my lips and tipped the liquid down my throat. I grimaced as the bitter tasted coated my mouth, and Thana rushed to get water. I didn't hesitate to drink that once she offered it to me and sighed with relief as the taste washed away.

"That should bring your fever back down," she said as she gathered the bowl and soiled rags from the spill. Just as she was about to leave she turned back to me. "Did you really think I was trying to kill you?" she asked with a slight hurt in her voice.

I fidgeted under my covers but forced myself to steady. "I know my being here has made things difficult. I am sure it would be easier to just get rid of me," I admitted.

"If I wanted to get rid of you I could have easily done it at the trial. Convincing the council that we couldn't take on such a risk would not have been difficult, and you would have found yourself on the Labyrinth."

"Why didn't you send me away?" I asked.

Thana paused in thought for a moment. Eventually a soft smile reached her lips, "hope, I think. You bring us hope." Her expression turned guilty again as she looked down to the ground. I wasn't used to seeing this vulnerable side of her and it was unnerving me.

"Is something wrong?" I cautiously ask her.

She raised an eyebrow, "you mean aside from you having red macula?"

"You look as if you are keeping something from me."

Thana bit her lip and turned away. "You know it has been a long day when I cannot keep my face composed," she sighed. She came back and kneeled next to me. "I am sorry, Flora. I cannot help but feel responsible for your condition, and it pains me to see you this way knowing I could have prevented it."

"What do you mean?"

"I- I denied you access to the vaccines," she confessed. My eyes narrowed in confusion and anger causing her ramble. "You were not officially a part of our pod and we have a limited supply. I cannot just hand out vaccinations to anyone who enters our ports. I have to protect the pod first," she said in an attempt to justify her actions, but even she found the reasoning hollow. She closed her eyes and tilted her head. "And I may have been upset with how things were occurring and misplaced my anger on you. You are innocent in all of this, and I am truly sorry."

I stared vacantly at the ceiling while I absorbed what she said. Her apology seemed sincere, but the fact that she could play with my life so easily disturbed me.

"Flora?" she asked, trying to get my attention. I couldn't bring myself to look at her. "I understand if you are upset, and I hope that one day we will be able to get past this." She stayed by my side for another moment before eventually getting up and leaving the room. As soon as I heard the door latch I let out a long sigh as the muddled emotions and new information swirled around in my head.