Chapter 87

Haru stood on the side of a skyscraper under a blue sky. Innumerable similar buildings filled the landscape as far as he could see. He lifted one foot, testing the unusual gravity of the world he currently occupied. The ground was straight ahead of him like a wall of dark green.

He fell to his knees. "Nooooo. Anything but Bleach. Please God, no." Certainly, he was in hell.

"You're not dead yet, Haru," a grizzled old man spoke from behind Haru.

The boy sent a pair of senbon whizzing through the air at the source of voice. They sailed past either side of the man's head.

Haru snarled, "Zangetsu! What am I doing here? I swear to God if you tell me I'm a shinigami..."

The man grinned. "I think you've mistaken me for someone else," he spoke as he tossed away the lightly tinted sunglasses he was wearing. Even though he was wearing the appropriate tattered outfit, the speaker was definitely not the character from Bleach.

"No…you're…"

With a wink, the man spoke, "Wrack your brain until it hurts and then continue to think until it melts and then keep remembering until you find the answer."

The world suddenly righted, sending Haru falling toward the ground. Despite trying to use chakra in his feet, he continued to fall. He stared at the shrinking figure as it became more distant and the periphery of his vision dimmed. The world went completely black before Haru could figure out why the man looked so familiar.

"I'm seriously starting to hate waking up like this," Haru said, rubbing his green left eye. He was in a hotel room, probably Tsunade's if the clothes strewn about one side of the floor was any indication. The boy pulled out an eyepatch and tied it around his head as the three adults in the room watched wordlessly. The redhead sighed and asked, "Alright. What did I miss?"

Shizune leaned forward. "Are we speaking with Haru now?"

Tsunade grabbed the boy's shoulders and shook vigorously, ignoring that she had just treated his wounds an hour ago. "What the fuck were you thinking? Are you literally crazy? No, don't tell me. Of course you are, turning yourself into a jinchuriki. And you're especially crazy if you expect me to come back to Konoha with you." The woman dropped the boy onto the bed and began to blush furiously. "It doesn't matter how smart or pretty or strong you think I am. I'm not a hero. And I'm definitely NOT going to date you."

Isobu giggled in the back of Haru's mind.

"Please calm down, Senju-dono. Just tell me what Isobu told you guys." Haru broke into a cold sweat as he imagined all the things that could have been revealed while he was unconscious.

Kakashi chuckled from his corner of the room. "I had my suspicions but…"

Haru tried to calm his breathing, "Please, Kakashi-sensei, can you just explain…"

The white-haired man walked up to the boy, pet him on the head, and grinned behind his mask. "It's okay, Haru. Every man has his preferences. If you happen to prefer blonde, older women, no one here is going to judge you, except maybe Tsunade-hime," he said with a wink.

The boy sunk his face into his hands and felt like he wanted to sob hysterically.

"I think it's kind of cute," Shizune added in an attempt to be helpful. Instead of cheering him up, Haru keeled over into a fetal position out of embarrassment.

Tsunade crossed her arms over her massive chest and cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. "Anyways, why does it have to be me? Why can't you get Jiraiya to become Hokage? Or what about this guy here? Isn't Hatake strong enough?"

Still in fetal position, Haru spoke plainly without any trace of distress. "Between Orochimaru and Shimura Danzo, they'll have accounted for Jiraiya's presence and planned for all foreseeable contingencies. You, Senju Tsunade, are needed because you are outside of their sphere of influence and powerful enough to make a difference."

"But…"

Haru sat up and continued speaking, "We can't trust anyone else. The reason why the Sandaime sent me alone was because Danzo has probably already infiltrated the village and begun weakening or subverting it. I don't know exactly what they're up to, but odds are that the Sandaime will be dead in the next twenty-four hours, if he isn't already."

"That's absurd. How could…"

"I am betting my life on it. And so is Sarutobi. He's counting on you to come back and save the village from Orochimaru."

"That's a fool's bet. Why should I care what happens to that village anyways?"

Haru looked down at this hands, unable to maintain eye contact. "I'm not really the best person to answer that question. I have a friend who could probably convince you easily but…" He pointed to the necklace hanging from Tsunade's neck. "I think you already care, that you still care, otherwise you wouldn't still be wearing that."

The woman held the crystal heirloom in her fist. "What would you know about it?" she yelled defensively.

Haru let out a deep sigh. "I guess not as much as I thought I did. But if you can't do it for Dan or Nawaki, at least come back for Jiraiya. ...He needs you more than you think."

The old woman continued to think silently with her hand wrapped around Hashirama's trinket.

The boy sitting on the bed looked at Kakashi and asked, "So what now? I've completed my mission. Are you going to take me back to the village?"

Kakashi raised his palms up and shrugged. "Why would I do that? I'm on vacation. I just wanted to visit my dear pupil."

Haru rolled his eyes, "Does that mean we can have a real fight sometime? One where you don't hold back or anything?"

Shizune answered in Kakashi's stead, "Unfortunately, no. In order to stabilize your chakra, we had to put dampeners on your tenketsu. You won't be able to fight or use jutsu for a couple weeks. You need to rest until then in order to give your chakra core a break."

"What?" Haru's eye began to twitch angrily. "Why? I was fine!"

Tsunade spoke authoritatively, "No, you weren't. Between years of constant use and the recent trauma of sealing a biiju, you were actually on the brink of dying. You're incredibly lucky we treated you when we did."

"But the village! I have to stop Orochimaru. Otherwise…" Haru's teeth grinded in his jaw.

The medic princess put her hand on Haru's back. "As my patient, you are forbidden from doing anything for the time being." She gave a weak smile, "Leave it to the grown-ups for now, okay, Haru-chan?"

Suddenly very drowsy, the adolescent's eyes drifted shut and yet again his consciousness was extinguished.