Chapter 10 Negative Filter

"Good for you," said Dr. Bloom. "You were able to orgasm and you know one of your mental blocks now."

Amelia was confused. She told Dr. Bloom about her disastrous treat myself day and Dr. Bloom was excited?

"I don't think you heard me right," Amelia said. "Yeah I orgasmed, but then I became depressed and cried myself to sleep. It was a horrible day."

"You have an unhelpful thought pattern in play here," the doctor said. "You are thinking of things as black and white and through a negative filter. Was your whole day terrible? It sounded like you had some great self-care going on with your mani and pedi, haircut and color, shopping, and a long lunch by yourself. You indulged in things you have never tried before and you enjoyed yourself. It sounds like a great day to me. Sure there was a little bump, but that doesn't make your day all bad. What if one of your kids made something for you, but there was a little flaw. Would you say the white thing was garbage and throw it away? What if a friend made a delicious dinner and they burned the rolls. Would you tell them to start the meal over again, because of one thing? There are many shades of gray out there and not everything is bad when one thing goes wrong."

Amelia had never heard of this before, but Dr. Bloom was totally right. She would always support others and overlook small things someone else did, but when she messed up she would remember it and think about it often. She would beat herself up about it even years later. Saturday was a great day! She learned she liked nipples play and could cum with it. She made herself cum and that hadn't happened in years! She found some porn that she liked and she enjoyed not having to worry about anyone for a day. She was always giving and giving; it felt good to be selfish for a day.

"Wow," Amelia said, "I just had such a revelation. I have been doing that for years."

"There are lots of unhelpful thought patterns"said Dr. Bloom. "I'll send you an exercise you can do on your phone to help you identify them and hopefully that will help. You can start identifying the thought patterns and recognize them. Then work through what's really going on. We can work on where this patterns came from and really get to work."

"Thanks Dr. Bloom!"

"You are so welcome, Amelia. Our time is up for this week, but I'm very excited to hear about your new experiences next time."

Amelia got up from the couch and left Dr. Bloom's office. She was navigating through the labyrinth of offices towards the lobby, when she accidentally bumped into someone.

"Oh," said Amelia. "I am so sorry. I was lost in thought and was paying attention."

"Amelia?"

"Dr. Carey! How are you?"

"I'm doing good," said Dr. Carey. "How has finding a new therapist been?"

"Really great," she said. "I've been seeing Dr. Bloom and she is just terrific."

"Yeah, she's a great doctor," he said. "I'm glad you found someone you can talk with. It was really great to bump into you."

"You too," she said. "Since you're not my doctor anymore, would you like to go have coffee sometime?"

"Sure Amelia! Here's my card with my cell number. I look forward to seeing you."

Dr. Carey smiled a big tooth smile and Amelia went weak in the knees. She had found him very attractive, but didn't really see him as a guy until know. His short light red hair and dark blue eyes took her breath away on many occasions. He wasn't too much taller than her and he had always been so kind.

"I look forward to seeing you too, Dr. Carey."

"Call me Phil."

"I'll talk to you later, Phil."

Amelia smiled and felt like she was walking on air.