I want to be your girlfriend

I close my eyes in despair, and then I feel the weight getting off me with a loud noise.

-Get off her! -It's Marcus voice, and as I open my eyes the loud sound was a punch that threw him off me.

-Marcus?! -I can't help but to feel my entire body shivering in relief. My eyes are starting to tear and I can't stop it.

Marcus then turns to me with a sad smile. He goes in Randy's direction and grabs him by his collar and throws him to the opposite site, where he collides with a tree and is now having difficulty to breathe.

-Look who is it, the BOYFRIEND appears. -He says in a devilish tone. -I didn't expect YOU to pull that on me, Marcus.

-I don't care what FUCKIN nonsense is in your drunk mind this time Randy, but FUCK OFF! - Marcus answers.

-You know she was mine first, right? You can't just do things like that you asshole. -Randy is barely standing.

-I'll say it ONE more time. -The rage on Marcus's eyes is intense. -You get AWAY from her, or you'll gonna experience a beating all over again. LEAVE.

Randy stops for a second, considering the options.

-She's trash anyway. -He says turning to me, spitting blood and smiling . -Not even worth a week of someones time, yet I gave her six months. Waste of time. -He spits again and leave.

Marcus is clearly holding himself back from going after Randy again as he leaves walking weird. He gives it a good minute to make sure Randy's gone and then turns to me, kneeling down.

-Are you okay? -He says in a calm voice.

-Y-yeah... -I try to respond, but I can barely speak between sobs. This whole thing only hit me after it was over, all the fear. I can't stop shaking.

In a split second, he pulls me up with both his arms and is carrying me close to his chest.

-I'll take you back to your room. -He says firmly, but then looks at me with a sad smile. -I'll need your help because I've never been there.

I shake my head in agreement, and guide him to my room. He walks up the stairs carefully, stading in front of my door as I help him open. Moving my arms is hard with the pain constantly pinching me. He walks in and puts me down in my bed, while he goes up to my fridge and gets ice, wrapping them carefully with a kitchen towel. He then comes to me and puts it on my lap, and then proceeds to walk towards my bathroom. He comes back a second later with some hydrogen peroxide and cotton, and starts cleaning the bruise on my arm. I try to hold my embarassment back.

-Ouch –I say without thinking when it stings for a second.

-I'm sorry, am I going too hard? -He stops cleaning it for a second. -Oh god that sounded wrong I'm sorry.

-Stop saying sorry. -I say, remembering the convinience store for a second. -Randy is a maniac, that is not your fault.

-It is. -He says firmly, going back to carefully cleaning the wound. -He's always after whatever I'm doing, specially when it comes to my relationships. It's honestly irritating. I'm sorry it got you hurt, that it came to this point.

-You said beating... did you beat him up before? -I ask.

-Once, when I lost my composure. -He says with his head down. -It's the reason for that bruise at the bar. I was seeing someone some days before and he managed to interfere, it was the third time he did something like that.

-I am in complete disbelief that Randy was that low of a human being. -I don't exactly know how to react to all this information. -It's so sad.

He laughs for a bit.

-Yeah, it might be... -He says softly. -Here, it's all done. But you should get your ankle checked tomorrow, it's a bit more than what I can handle.

-Thank you...

-I'll be leaving now. -He says, turning to the door. -his voice is low and I can feel sadness on it.

I can feel his surprise when I grab his arms and stop him midway.

-Stay... -I mumble. -Please.

He then turns to me, his face showing the surprise of the situation. I tell him that Randy knows my room and might show up as an excuse, and then he agrees. He seats on the bean sack I have on the corner of the room, and pulls his phone asking for a minute. I get up somewhat decently, and I get water for both of us and a cold wet wipe. His hands are a bit swollen and still a bit dirty. I hand both to him as he puts his phone down. I seat back on the bed, unsure of what to say.

-I'm afraid I'll never be able to understand you. -He says, sipping on the water.

-Hm? -I say, a bit confused.

-One moments I think we're fine, and then I wonder if everything is alright when you run from the classroom, and now I don't even know what to think.

-I... -He noticed oh god he noticed. -I think now it's my time to say sorry.

We both chuckle.

-Did I do something wrong? -He asks.

-Huh... -I don't know to get out of this situation. I can feel my face getting warmer.

-It's something you can't say then... -He then looks away, trying to give me space.

-No! -I correct him immediately. -It's not that, no...

He's is obviously curious, but he doesn't say anything after that. I shake my head furiously trying to gain the composture. There's no point on keeping it quiet, talking it out will be better anyway. It's best to take these feelings out before anything worse happens. I take a deep breath.

-Remember the day... -I start, softly. -that you helped me up to Clara's room?

-Yeah. -He responds.

-You... -My voice feels almost trapped inside me. -You told me you worry about me as a friend. -I can feel his stance change as I speak. -Since that day I... Clara's been forcing me to think about things, I keep losing focus and I don't know... How to feel about that.

He waits until I'm done talking, and then stays quiet for a good minute. The atmosphere in the room is absurdly tense for me. I look down to my hands, feeling my stomach become a black hole.

-I... -He starts. His voice changes to a more vulnerable tone. -Can I call you Lys?

I say yes with my head. Is this good?

-You can call me Mark then. -He says. -Look Lys... I don't think this is going to work. -He puts his hand behind his head, looking down. -I am doing two degrees at the same time and I work, I won't have time for you. Not only that, but I don't want to risk you getting hurt, not only by me, but if someone else like Randy come around, I won't always be around to protect you... It wouldn't be fair to you, I don't want to cause you pain.

-I... I understand... -I say, but I can't hold the pain that is coming from my heart, I can feel the tears coming down, I turn my head away from him. I don't understand why this is affecting me so much. It's bad, this is so bad...

-Lys I... -He stops, probably noticing the situation. I'm desperately trying to stop but that's just making the situation worse. In a split second, he's now sitting on the bed next to me, his hand carefully on my cheeks, stopping the tears from falling. I have no strenght to stop him left in my, my body is just so exhausted of everything that happened today. Even my head hurts. I put my head down in his shoulder, trying to hide my face. He softly puts his hands on my head and pulls me up to his eye level. It's painful to face him like this.

-I'm sorry, I... -I try to say but fail between sobs.

-God... it's so hard to resist you... -I can see pain in his eyes.

-Then don't... -I say softly. - I don't want you to. It doesn't have to be that way.

I can feel his body shift its weight as he puts me down softly, then putting his arms around me, trying to not put his pressure on me. He brushes my face off with his hands, giving me goosebumps everytime I feel his touch. My entire body is completely ecstasic of the situation. I can't believe whats happening. He passes his hands through my hair, then down on my neck, but never passing the colar bone. He rests his hand on my shoulder as he asks me in the eye:

-Do you want me to continue? -He asks, breathing softly, controlling himself. -Can I continue?

-Y-yes – I respond, with tears still in my eyes.

-Are you sure?

Before he can say anything else, I put my still working arm around his neck and pulls him towards me, locking my lips in his. He's taken by surprise and doesn't react. Then I can feel he pull me closer to his chest, while he interlocks his tongue on mine. His body is so hot I feel like I'm melting just from touching it. Every place he touches me its left with a tingling sensation. It's almost as we can't breathe. He looks at me, his eyes so intense that is as if they're burning. He starts kissing me as he works his way down my neck, kissing ever so slightly as if I'm about to break. Slowly on my shoulders, pulling my hands together and kissing them as well, then on my clavicle, where I let a surprised gasp come out of my mouth. He looks up to me, studying my expression. By now I'm probably all tones of red someone could ever be. I try to hide my face with my hands.

-Don't look... -I say on a whim.

He still doesn't respond for a little while.

-You're beautiful... -He starts. He then puts his hair back with his hand and comes closer to me, our eyes meeting. He takes a deep breath -We have to stop here. I won't be able to hold myself any longer if we keep going. This is too much.

I look at him with a confused expression.

-Lys, I know you haven't done this before. -He says bluntly. I am in shock. -That does make me happy and relieved that Randy never touched you this way, but I do not want your first time to be like this. Not with all that happened today. Not with all we just talked about.

-How do you... -I try to respond, but he puts his finger on my mouth stopping me, then kissing me gently.

-You can try to hide yourself all you want but for me you're an open book. -He smiles. Then his expression changes to serious in a second. -This... I don't if this is going to work... but I want it to.

I put my hands on him, agreeing to what he said.

-I do feel attracted to you, I like you Lys. For god sake I can barely hold myself back with just a touch of yours... -He continues. -But we should start slow. There's too much we don't know about each other and too much to be explored, to be handled. But I do want it to work, but only if you are okay with it.

-Mark... what's your surname again? -I ask, jokingly.

-Howard. -He responds with a side smile.

-Mark Howard... I want to be your girlfriend.

And simple as that, I get to see his face get embarrassed for the first time.