NonsenseWitch

Winter is a normal college student. In his normal life, he somewhat manages to get through the struggles of the university life with success. But, he does not dream of anything, and let fate write his path unto which he thought "is destined for me to become". 
He had few relationships on the past, in which he had given everything of himself through each of them. But recently, he decided not to fall in love again, as pain slowly built up in him, making him question his existence towards all.

It was all usual, until a foreign message was sent to him,
"はじめまして、立ち止まるな！"

Be Into You, Till Life Gives Hope

"I'll be with you (with doubtful eyes)"


I pretended not to see them when we were together. But then as school hours came faster and faster each day, I slowly realize his acts which I considered, which in my side, I kept myself blinded from because of my feelings for him.


I've been a stupid person ever since. But every pain, even when they have the same reason as before, even if I get used to them, each pain feels a lot different than the other. It's all gonna be different.


Midterms were done, and I decided to go away from the dormitory, for the rest of the semester. Everything in the dormitory comes toxic, each corner reminds me of us, and contributes much of the reason why I haven't moved on yet.


Mom never knew about this, nor other people did. We kept it hidden from everyone, except to those who were with us when we were still dating. This is why I can't really tell anyone about it, I don't want to be judged by the people around me. More likely, I don't want people to be worried about me, cause it feels like I've been looked over upon.


I managed to end the semester with success. I passed every subject, with somewhat decent grades.


Somehow, I had slowly accepted our fate.


Everything was starting to mean to me. A meaning in which I can truly understand just by myself, and not having combined with the others. I saw how the days turn weeks to months, all with positivity in them. Of course, the trail on moving will not be easy, but all success comes with hardships.


It's summer vacation already, and I've learned to give more to myself. Somewhat, it makes me think I'm becoming narcissistic, but people say it's good to have "for yourself only" times. 


I gave myself everything it wanted, sleep, food, books, art, alone time, everything without restrictions. I've learned how to be confident with myself, as to how I should show myself to others, and not just to the people who I love. They supported me, and finally, held my hands to let go of my past.


It was all a great summer vacation, I moved on, yet I haven't dreamed of a future. I'm living in today, so it's all gonna be as it is now.


It's All as It is Now