The Two-Faced Duchess
[ FENNECYEOU'S ORIGINAL NOVEL ]
[ VOLUME 2 ( THE AWKWARD ENCOUNTER ) NEW BOOK COVER ]
***
21st century professional hired mercernary, Lee Shin Hye was set up by her trusted childhood friend, Kang Tae Seong leading to her miserable death. Thinking that she died, she found herself one day in a strange bed with a naked man on top of her strangling her to death. Her killer instinct striked, she immediately grabbed a nearby wine bottle and hit his head. With a broken bottle, he unhesitantly stabbed the man to his death. She learned soon after that she was reincarnated as the 2nd wife of Duke Gregory Fabian of the Faques family, Duchess Roselia Faques whom was the third daughter of Baron Rolandus Rykeld and was unhesitantly sold to the Duke. In a moment of shock by the sudden happening, she ended up knowing how the previous owner of the body got maltreated by her subjects. Knowing and accepting all that's happening, in her new identity; she was determined to crush everyone who'll messed up with her and her new family. A year later, after establishing a newly modified Faques family, a familiar face made her infuriate causing her to make a life changing mistake. She ended up being pregnant with a random guy's kid during a one night stand. Few years later, that random man came knocking into her door asking marriage in hand. That random man was non other than the first prince of the empire himself. How can the cold - blooded duchess tell him the existence of his child? Can love still blossom when they knew that they'll cause each other's pain?
***
Be my Patron and have an access to more advance chapters of not only this novel but my other novel's too~!
patreon.com/FennecYeou
Updates every Saturday and Sunday GMT +8~!
As I wish to be entirely honest, I must say that this review may appear rather negative. I focused mainly on what - in my best opinion - has the most need or potential for improvement (in the hope to help you progress rather than simply sing you praise). The very start of your story has the potential to be immersive but fails to grasp my attention. I think this is due to the fact that there is an absence of rhythm in your writing, something I noticed as well further throughout the rest of your work. The characters feel rather flat and I fail to imagine them. Although I believe they have the potential to become compelling and appealing personages. Sometimes the dialogue sounds forced, although you do show to have the ability to write engaging dialogue, but it gets buried under the more stiff conversations. As for the chemistry and romance; it is slightly entertaining, but it does not thoroughly convince me. The chemistry appears very obligatory and just doesn’t seem natural. Although as a reader I need to get a secondhand infatuation with the love interest. Grammar wise there are a lot of mistakes but I‘m aware English isn’t your first language and you are trying to improve. I know the difficulty of this myself. I do appreciate that you clearly put a lot of effort into your work. I applaud your enthusiasm and truly hope that my harshness did not dissuade you from continuing.
(Btw this is a review up to chapter 8 and I love that you admit to your grammar mistakes.) In chapter 1, I love the detailed dialogue, an amazing way to open your story, by the way. In the next few chapters, somehow I fell even more in love with the MC's personality, there's a lot of grammar mistakes, but, if you read the chapters slowly you might be able to find them. (Sorry for my sucky advice/review and sorry I couldn't be more of help.)
Writing, Story, Character, World: All Average Update Stability: Above Average This is a review up to chapter 6. First person narrative is a common choice for new writers, and oftentimes in my findings, a story in first person falls flat when third person would’ve been better. In the case if this one, it can go either way. The strength of the first person narrative in this wasn’t great, but it was neither bad. I do get a clear sense of the speaker’s character with a satisfactory demonstration of her inner thoughts and feelings. This is good, but the MC’s voice is still a little weak (this is different from a MC being a strong female lead aka her personality, but rather the compelling distinction of conveying that personality). From chapter one, we see a glimpse into her former life as a setup for her eventual transmigration in chapter two as the duchess. Perhaps this could be considered a more drastic opinion, but I believe the entire first chapter could be cut without loosing anything substantial. Considering that her best friend and past life weren’t really mentioned again in any important way, and her personality is grasped well enough in the following chapters, the first chapter is unnecessary. In fact, I’d argue it detracts from the story. For whatever reason, I find the MC more annoying in the first chapter than the next ones. This might be due to her screaming in CAPS which something I never suggest for any writer to do frequently. Caps should be used as an accent for the most dramatic situations and not just used as general shouting. Her personality for the rest of the next chapters after the first, my only critique is her mood and thoughts fluctuate sporadically, almost as if for comedic or dramatic relief rather a grounded representation of her character and possibly of what a real human person would be like. I believe this is in part due to the weak voice of first person narrative. These two are intrinsically tied. A good first person narrative will often equal a compelling main character. The plot, I have no much to say on this. It’s the basic transmigration plot with a strong female showing who’s boss by whipping everyone around her into shape and assisting the former body’s into glory. This was neither done poorly nor spectacularly. So, it’s average. Writing-wise, there is quite a bit of awkward sentence syntax and incorrect tenses. But the grammar doesn’t detract too much from the story for the average reader. Personally for me, it’s a little uncomfortable because of the strange manner of speaking and expression. Although I don’t feel like continuing to read this story, that’s my personal taste. On a impartial stance, I believe you’re on the general right track. You only need to continue writing a lot and study English grammar and vocabulary, and you’re writing is sure to improve with time and effort. Keep at it, and good luck!
As an author, I am confident with my work ^-^ Although my grammars might have serious errors, I will work hard for the improvement of my story. Thank you very much in advance ^-^