when it started to go down hill

I was alone I couldnt take it I was in choir and I loved to sing but everyone made fun of my voice and made fun of me my grades were trash all fs and I had no one and the one friend I had no classes with her...it was horrible so I cut and made online friends on an app called talklife I liked it but then i got bullied on there told to die...called worthless so i deleted it...I felt horrible I stopped eating becuase I felt so fat and ugly but then I downloaded instagram I saw people I knew! from school I talked to this boy arron banna he was a football player and I'm not the shyist type and I needed a friend so we talked and we became friends online but he wouldnt talk to me at school only at home and he wouldnt tell anyone we were friends and I guess it was just hard then one day I trusted him I told him about me cutting...he blocked me out of no where I had no one again and let's just say i dont have much of a family to relay on exept my grandma but she wasn't good at it all she did was take my phone and blame it on internet so I was alone for about a month then I saw a little weed on the table just a dab pen and I tried it, it was great then I talked to people cuz when I do that no anxiety and I made friends not the best group of people ben...Kelsey and Kira the baddest kids in school and I hung out with them and got into bad things skipped class but they ended up leaving me after a while cuz "I wasnt bad enough and was annoying" everyone called me names then one day I slapped a boy for flicking me off as he did every day and I didnt get in much trouble but it was wired...so I was at lunch sat alone every day then a new kid came matthew we talked we became best friends but then chance cheated on me I got sent pics for proof and I got a little bit of feelings for matt after about 2 weeks i told him...and I had no where to sit cuz no room...and all the 8th grade boys I sat with forced me out..so I sat in the bathroom cuz I dont eat remember I sat there and watched YouTube and listened to music but then my mom grounded me and that made me happy my music so I had no phone or anything so I kept myself in my thoughts I made my own little world and I was popular was a strong girl powerful had a boyfriend who loved me and everything I loved that world...it was my escape but that slowly went away. ...it became hard to concentrate even think I began having trouble with speech so I didnt talk as much had a hard time making out words somtimes...so I went partially mute then I had many personality it was wired and bad mood swings I was bipolar somtimes I couldnt stop talking somtimes I'd refuse to sleep I have my favorite of personality but i cant control them and it sucks weed makes me my favorite personality but people dont like it when I do it so I dont do it often..after a few more weeks isaac texted me he knew chance he was a 5,11 black guy captain of the football team at chances school he was good so we dated for 2 weeks yeah he told me he wanted to shoot me so that went down hill I made one new friend Austin scott..I had marisa at the time it was off and on she wasnt the nicest friend but I was grateful ben started talking to me again but Kelsey and Kira were "to good for me" ben is chill he turned out to just be a hurt person..and I try to help him but it's hard so Christmas break came up that's when donny was gonna come back I got with austin after we talked a bit IT WAS A DISATER we were co stantly fighting all the time. then after Christmas break the new school right then I got a dm on insta by josh i have to say that's the best thing that ever happened to me you'll find out why soon so i talked to josh about my problems and found out he lives close by and hes only a year older then me he has his troubles I told him everything about me cutting my home everything we got close me and austin drifted and I liked josh alot! and I dont cheat so .....after a while austin was MEAN TO JOSH he called him a worthless. peice of sh*t and I blew up. so I went back to school DONNY WAS THERE