Chapter 1

He never knew that loving someone could hurt. After all that had happened, he ended up regretting what he have done. It's a mistake that only time could rewind. As he rose in bed, after a soundless heavy sigh, he lowered his head and sighed heavily once more as he brushed up his messy hair with his wide, hand.

"Damn, another of that dream," he whispered softly as he stood up and fixed his bed.

He thought that what he did before was for the best of him but he was totally wrong. Matter worse, it made the whole thing complicated. If only given a chance, he was determined to kill his past self for saying such absurd lies. He reached out for his phone and opened it to check what time it is. It's still 5:30 in the morning. He still have time to continue his sleep but in the end, he entered the shower and took a warm bath.

As every droplets of warm water coming out of the shower hit his head, he was just standing still with his head bowed down. He was deeply in his thoughts. The nightmare that kept on hunting his sleep every night, he pictured it all in his head. Pretty much he memorized every details of that dream.

Inside a dusty storeroom, the moment he took a step inside, everything around him brightly shined. Despite being dark and cold, everything instantly turned warm. He looked around and a figure of a woman made his heart pound for the first time. He can't help but stare on this figure for a very long time.

With the sun rays coming inside the room from a tiny window, the woman figure was exactly standing in the center. The sun rays totally became her spotlight that exposed her beauty even more. In his eyes, she looked like an angel that time.

The woman slowly looked back at him wearing a sincere smile. The moment the woman's lips started to utter a word, he snapped out from his daydreaming.

"You're such a fool, Lee Yeol. You're really such a fool," he muttered as he turned off the shower.

*** ( 3 Years Ago ) ***

A fresh, new start made him smiled in a bliss as he walked blissfully towards his new school. His name was Lee Yeol. In his junior high school days, he was the center of attraction for the entire 3 years of him staying there. His sleeky black hair and his lifeless clear black eyes were already enough for him to caught the girl's attention. He was a living example of a cold, prince - type man that every high school girls fantasized. With the addition of his intelligence and tall height, he was already considered a perfect man.

As he entered the gate of his new school, he can't help but sighed in disappointment. Familiar gazes and familiar smirks welcomed him as he stepped inside his new school. He expected much from his new school. He wanted to live a normal, lowkey school life but his perfect characteristics made it impossible for him.

As he grew up, he was totally exposed to fake people. Those who approached him with ill intentions and desires kept on swarming in like bees hungry for some honey. This was also the reason why he's being hated by guys in his age. For him to lure girls was easy as lifting a finger.

By the time he knew he was being hated, he isolated himself from others. Unintentionally being an art piece to quench the thirst of people, he totally hated thay feeling. His self - esteem totally dropped down for the past 3 years.

As he took each step, student's gazes followed his every movement. For him, it was a feeling of being stripped down in public. It totally became a trauma for him. For others it might be ordinary, but for him, it was a frightening torture. For every step he took, he began to hear murmurs flying around.

"He's cute! I want to be friends with him!"

"A hottie in this school? I hope he's friendly."

"Hurry! Follow him! Let's see what class he's in"

For others it might be just normal gossips but for him it was the opposite.

"Who is he? He's cute! I want to do it with him!"

"A hottie in this school? I hope he's good in bed!"

"Hurry! Let's stalk him!"

He instinctively reach out for his bag and grabbed his earphone. As he was walking, he randomly choose a song and plugged in the earphone to his ears. He directly went towards the bulleting board where they post what class a certain student was placed. As he browsed over the list, his eyes lost its liveliness in an instant.

"I shouldn't have look," he whispered as he dragged his feet towards his classroom.

Entering the class he's in, not only girls but also boys, began eyeing on him as he choose a seat. He didn't know but the entire classroom went silent the moment he entered the class. Acting naturally, he sat down on the seat he chose. Minutes later, a random guy sat besides him.

"Hey! Aren't you a handsome one?" the guy unplugged his earphone and smiled naturally as he took a seat.

Yeol didn't respond and instead looked back at him coldly. Despite his cold behavior, he was taken aback. A random person told him that he's handsome straight into his face made him silent. That was totally random for him. Yeol ignored everything and grabbed the earphone back.

"I'm Kim Young Taek! Nice to meet you, deskmate!" as Yeol took the earphone with force, a man named Young Taek offered him a hand.

Yeol looked at him and what he saw made him speechless. Young Taek was eagerly smiling at him as he offered him a hand. It was totally a random happening for Yeol. He began thinking what the other guy's motive for approaching him. As he was deep in his thoughts, Young Taek felt numb as he maintained the position of his hand. Yeong Taek tilted his head slightly sideways and looked at Yeol pretty confused while still remaining his smile. Yeol snapped out and as he looked at Young Taek's hand, he instantly felt guilty towards him. His hand was shaking in numbness and his smile became distorted. He ended up accepted his hand as he can't darw to refuse.

"Lee Yeol, nice to meet you," he coldly said as he pulled back his hand in an instant.

"Huh?!" Young Taek jolted up from his seat. "Last name Lee? First name Yeol? Woah!" he shouted in bewilderment.

The attention of the class abruptly shifted towards him but immediately faded away seconds later. He embarassingly took a seat and leaned his face forward towards Yeol. His eyes were emitting sparkles that made Yeol leaned back uncomfortably.

"Is something wrong with my name?" Yeol stuttered as he tried evading Young Taek's shining gaze.

With his sparkly eyes, he smiled widely while trying to stop himself from giggling. "I'm so jealous, Yeol! Having a two word name is really cool, you know!" Young Taek grabbed both of his hand and clasped it together with his as he stated his weird complex.

"Ah ... Really? That's good," Yeol can't find the right words to say.

After that, Yeol was forced to listen in Young Taek's nonstop chattering. That morning made him worn out. The classes didn't even started yet he looked pretty haggard. As the school bell rang, the homeroom teacher entered the classroom. The loud noises that felt like a marketplace earlier instantly turned silent.

"I'm your homeroom teacher as well as your Science and English teacher," he slammed the books he's holding onto the teacher's table. Everyone in the class immediately felt intimidated by the teacher's sudden action.

"For your class president, the one with the highest grade will be elected so ..." he opened one of his notebook and browsed over his list meticulously. "Student Lee Yeol? Can you raise your hand?" with an intimidating expression, the teacher looked around the classroom.

Upon hearing his name, he immediately raised his hand as he stood up, "I'm here, sir." Feeling unfazed by the teacher's intimidation, he looked at the teacher looking determined.

As the teacher looked back at him, the class went silent. That situation made the whole class tense and sweat in cold. The cold and heavy atmosphere emitted by the two made them swallowed in nervousness. As if a sudden noise could make the two of them fight for survival.

"Oh? Is it you? Then I'll leave this task to you. You don't have any reasons not to take this role right?" the teacher coldly asked as he fixed his glasses.

"I understand, sir," Yeol responded immediately as he kept his gaze fixed towards the teacher.

"Then, I'll leave the homeroom time for you to get to know each other, see you later," the teacher shifted his gaze away while he packed his books. He left in a hurry and the whole class sighed heavily in relief.

After the teacher left, the classroom became a noisy marketplace. They grouped themselves and talked to each other. While Yeol on the other hand, he was being harassed by his deskmate.

"Congrats on being the class president, Yeol!" Young Taek leaned his face and smiled.

Already being used to his weirdness, Yeol reacted nothing and stood up, "Thank you, then ..."

Young Taek abruptly grabbed his hand preventing him to leave. But despite what he did, he just stared at Yeol with eyes filled with curiosity.

"Do you have anything to say?" Yeol felt restless with his sudden interruption.

"I'm just curious but do you have any friends?" Young Taek inhaled deeply as he boldly said those words with his mouth. Yeol was slightly offended but can't help but to accept his statement since it's a fact.

For Yeol, friends was nothing but an empty word. The word friend wasn't in his vocabulary and he can't even define what it was.

"Friends? What a stupid thing to say? Do you have anymore to say?" Yeol looked down at him coldly and brushed his hand off roughly.

As Young Taek didn't respond and kept his silence. Even though Yeol had this habit of putting a barrier around him, he still can't help but feel apologetic when he offended someone. He thought that Young Taek was offended by his words making him sweat in guilt. But his worriedness instantly crumbled by how Young Taek responded.

"What?! Are you serious? You don't know how to make friends don't you?" Young Taek jumped out of his seat and leaned closely at him wearing a stupid expression in his face.

"Friends is something you admire but ah-! It's different from love because love makes your chest pound faster, okay?! Love can make your world pink and shine while friends can make your world blue and exciting!" he energetically explained.

Yeol sighed frustratedly as he boldly speak out his mind, "Hey, you see ... It's impossible for me to have friends so can you please stop dragging me into your play?!"

Young Taek never swayed by his words yet ended up arguing with him, "What do you mean impossible if you didn't even started yet?! Then be friends with me!"

Yeol gave a hopeless expression. For him, having friends is impossible. All throughout his life, people approached him with motives. After the got what they desired, they ended up casting him aside and pretended like there's nothing happened between them. If they can't get what they want, they despised him to a point where spreading malicious gossips was never enough. Yeol was forced to experience these two situations for the past 3 years. For him to have friend in an instant, it was impossible. He can't dare to trust someone as he doesn't want to experience such things again. For him, it was better to be alone rather than having friends who could stab him in the back at anytime.

Young Taek grabbed his arms and looked at him with pleading eyes, as if he was desperate to have him as a friend, "Let's be friends, please?"

Yeol was undecided. It's hard for him to trust yet it's also a chance for him to change. As if he was standing in front of a cliff and with a single step, he can entirely fell down with nothing to held on. The only thing he needed to do was to pluck his courage but it's really hard for him.

"..." Yeol didn't respond but nodded as he brushed Young Taek away from him.

"Really?! Nice! We're friends okay?!" Young Taek smiled widely together with his eyes as he clapped his hands in joy.

Young Taek misunderstand him. Yeol only agreed because he's being persistent. Months have passed and the relatioship between the two never progressed. Young Taek was still the only one who was worked up on a delusion called friends. Even if he wanted to, Yeol never left what he believed in. One day, as Yeol entered the classroom, he felt a sudden chill in the surrounding. As he looked in the back of the class, he can't help but stop walking and stood still from where he stopped.

"Hey, shuttle!! Buy us some bread and milk, hurry!!" Cheol Min stood besides our desk and casually bossed Young Taek around.

Finally, the thing that Yeol hated was finally happening. Yeol stood still and can't dare to step in. He was frightened. Despite his lifeless expression, he can't help but feel frightened deep inside of him.

With his head bowed down, Young Taek stood up and slowly walked away. He noticed Yeol's presence and passed by him yet he didn't utter a word.

"H--, hey ..." Despite being nervous, Yeol extended his arms and stopped him by grabbing his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Yeol. I need to go the cafeteria fast or else the bread will sold out," Young Taek smiled as he walked away.

Yeol removed his hand and the word that came out from his mouth was, "Okay ..." as he watched him walked away from the room.

The way Young Taek looked at him and smiled was a signal asking for help to Yeol. But upon seeing him smile, Yeol felt different. He was asking for help yet he wanted Yeol to stay away from him. That's how Yeol interpreted his smile. A depressing yet sincere smile.

Young Taek came back panting while carrying a lot of breads and milk cartons. He dropped them all in the desk at the back and, "Sorry, I don't know what to buy so I bought them all," he smiled as if was cracking a joke.

Yeol who was at his seat, glanced back to watch everything that's happening. He flinched after hearing Cheol Min's sudden outburst.

"Huh?!" Cheol Min slammed the desk loudly. "Are you boasting that you have a lot of money? You think I'm poor aren't you?" as he was agitated, he opened a carton milk and poured it in Young Taek's head while wearing a satisfying grin.

Young Taek didn't struggle and yet he accepted it like it was normal. He glanced towards the students whom were present but the students shifted their eyes away from him. As Yeol and Young Taek's eyes met, Young Taek just smiled. His eyes were lifeless yet he's giving a sincere smile. Yeol felt a chill down to his spine. His eyes widen in bewilderment and began having cold sweat. Yeol shook im nervousness as he also did what others do. He glanced away and pretended like nothing happened. Yeol was scared. Despite being the class president, he can't speak his mind out. He's afraid that he mighr become the next target. So he chose to bat an eye rather than acting like a hero. This why Yeol hesitated to have a friend. In the end there's only two options that's available. It's either to be hated, or to be abandoned.

This is why he ended up being alone. He chose to be alone as he doesn't want to experience the feeling of being left out.