My Servant

Orochimaru thought about her words, the gravity of their weight, settling into his veins like a river of ice.

Shame.

He hadn't felt shame in years.

"My Lord?" Rin's voice drew him out of his thoughts.

His eyes drifted to the side, steeling his heart against the pain creeping into it. "I see. What pathetic weakness."

"Is it weakness to value your master, sir?"

"When it comes to taking over a nation, yes. I can't hold to any silly notions like shame or remorse. My purpose is far greater than such things."

Rin stayed quiet, the old man's face coming to her mind again.

She didn't know him, never said a word or saw him face to face, but even she felt a sadness in her heart at the thought of him perishing.

If she could know that pain, what must her creator be feeling? Even now?

His frequent requests for her attention made sense.

He wasn't going to give up his attack on the Leaf, but that didn't mean he wouldn't have a shred of doubt in his mind or that it wasn't gnawing away at him, even if he didn't want to admit it.

Orochimaru hardened his heart, the lingering emotions of his humanity dimming into the void.

When the time came, he'd be the one to face his teacher and he wouldn't insult him with a half-hearted battle.

Sarutobi Sensei deserved more than that.

All at once, he felt the tender hands of his beloved pet come to his shoulders, rubbing away at the tension built up there.

He smiled at her attempt to soothe him. "You've done your duty. You're free to return back to your quarters, if you wish."

This surprised Rin. He never gave her a choice on anything in the past.

Whatever revelation she'd helped him uncover, must have shook him deeper than he was letting on.

She never liked to linger in this room. Too many bad memories floating in the air, but in that moment, his rare show of vulnerability called to her.

"If it's all the same to you, my Lord. I'll stay for a while longer."

Despite himself, the cold man smiled and it was a true smile.

He'd never admit it to anyone and had a hard time facing it himself, but tonight, before he implemented his great plans, he didn't want to be alone.

He wanted to take comfort in another person.

His fingers came to his shoulder and squeezed her forearm. "I'd like that."

Rin's skillful hands rubbed up and down his shoulders, releasing the pain and tension in divine waves of relaxation.

A thought suddenly occurred to her.

She remembered the gravestone in his memory, his mother's name by his father's, how young he must have been when he lost her.

It was something new, something she'd never dared to try, but it felt right and it was now or never.

Gently, she took hold of his hands and pulled him up off the floor.

Orochimaru always sat on the floor, if he wasn't using her for other purposes. Some strange sense of separating the two, was important to him.

He expression was confused. "What are you doing? I'm not in the mood for that."

"I know." Rin said, scooching herself to the far corner of the cot.

"What then?"

She gave a soft smile and brought him down so that he was laying on the cot, his head in her lap.

Her fingers took hold of the blanket and pulled it over him. "Close your eyes."

Though he wasn't sure of this new method, he complied and let out a breath, closing his eyes.

Much like how she imagined his mother would do, Rin's fingers trailed through his long hair and settled on his head, turning his face towards her.

"I still don't understand what you're... oh." His words quieted in his throat.

All at once, memories flooded his mind at the sensation of her holding him on her lap, hiding him from the world.

Making him feel safe.

She wasn't helping his resolve to destroy his humanity, but at this point, he was powerless to stop her.

It felt too raw to try.

Rin cradled him as if he were the child of his past, the one who wasn't intent on destroying the world for his gain.

What would his life have been like if his mother survived the war? Would he really have been that changed?

He didn't want to think about that now.

"Sing for me, little Sparrow." His voice sounded pained.

Warm, lilting tones drifted through the room, releasing him from his confusing thoughts.

Her voice wrapped around him, lulling him into the deepest sleep he'd known in years.

Rin stayed where she was, absently humming to herself, as her thoughts circled in her head.

"What am I to this man? Is he even a man, at all? He's my creator, but the terrible things I've seen him do... the things he's done to me. Why am I like this? What's wrong with me?"

She watched, as his face softened with sleep, his breathing even and steady, hands limp at his sides.

Rin knew the devastation he could bring with those hands and the innocent blood that would be spilled, come tomorrow.

He'd be on his way to the Sand Village to murder the present Kazekage; the first of many victims to fall to his power.

Her eyes trailed along his helpless stature.

She knew she'd never stand a chance against him.

Even if it were in his mind, he was leagues more powerful than she. There was nothing she could do to escape his terror or the strange feelings she had about him.

The bizarre, dependent love she had for her abuser and the fear that came with his passing moods.

Orochimaru had a soft spot for her, it was plain to see, but that didn't mean she was above his sick fascinations.

He'd experimented on her, just like the rest of his creations. She wasn't his equal by any means, but her status as "pet" won her some graces now and then.

It was a good position to be in and certainly came with its perks.

When the door slid open and a man stepped inside, she was acutely aware of the greatest benefit among them.

Her gaze narrowed on the ninja with glasses, the one who stabbed her dearest friend through the heart and forever damaged hers.

Kabuto took in the display of his lord's resting frame with thinly veiled disgust.

He signaled for Rin to follow him.

She looked down at his sleeping face and gave it one more gentle pat, before sliding herself out from underneath his head.

Kabuto walked out the room and waited for her to step with him, before closing the door. "That's enough. Return to your quarters."

Rin's mouth came to a hard line. "On who's orders?"

"Mine, of course. Are you questioning your superior?"

She scoffed. "Lord Orochimaru is my superior and he told me I could stay as long as I liked."

This angered him, she could tell by the way his nostrils flared. "You've been getting too full of yourself lately, Subject 18. Perhaps it's time I remind you of your place?"

Rin crossed her arms. "Touch me and he will destroy you. We both know that."

Kabuto looked back to the closed door and fought for the higher ground. "He has far more important things to worry about than you. Trust me, you don't have nearly the amount of power over him, as you think."

The silence between them was thick and unpleasant.

She took a moment to get a good look at him, really see him for who he was.

Kabuto was a skilled medical ninja, perhaps the best she'd ever meet, but he was flawed too.

There was some kind of unresolved trauma in him and as her talents grew, she sensed it louder and louder each day.

A part of her would almost feel bad for him, if she didn't see Haru's dying expression each time she looked at his smug face.

Rin smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "Perhaps I'm not as close to him as I believed. Perhaps I really am a lowly experiment and nothing more. And yet..."

"What?"

She closed the distance between them. "I'm not the one who was dismissed tonight, am I?"

"Bitch."

Her lip curled into a snarl. "You'll call me 'Rin' from now on. That's the name I've been given and you'll address me as such."

Kabuto sneered. "You're out of your mind, if you think for one moment, I'm going to..."

"Sparrow? Where did you go?" Orochimaru's voice called, half-asleep.

Her smile was wicked, as she came to the thin door. "Just taking out the garbage, my Lord. I'd hate to have anything unpleasant to your sleep nearby. Why don't we rest together tonight?"

"Yes. Come back in here."

Rin's eyes took in Kabuto's fury. She met his hatred with her own, the silent message loud and clear. "Fight me, if you dare."

She laid down beside her creator, feeling his arms wrap around her waist, treasuring her warmth.

Her fingers absently twirled through his long hair, considering something she hadn't before.

Kabuto couldn't touch her. As long as she stayed in Orochimaru's good graces, she was safe.

For the first time in her life, Rin felt in charge of her own destiny.

She wasn't sure how things would go after the invasion or what consequences would come, but in that moment, Subject 18 was gone and Rin stood victorious.

~~

The memories of her past with Orochimaru crashed down, one after another.

How could she tell Gaara what he meant for her?

How facing him and telling him that she wasn't his pet anymore, when that title was the very thing that saved her from being discarded, felt dangerous?

"Rin? Talk to me. You're far away in your thoughts, again."

His warm, husky voice wrapped around her, anchoring her to his embrace.

Her hand came up behind his neck, pulling him into a gentle kiss.

With Gaara, she was safe, she was loved and, most importantly of all, she was equal. She wouldn't be his pet and he'd never dream of taming her.

"Tonight. We have to tell him tonight and then..."

"Then what?"

Her eyes turned up to him, taking in the face that only held respect for her. "Why don't you show me the famous desert hot springs, I've heard so much about? I'm dying for a bath."

His face reddened at the thought of Rin sitting amongst the steam. "Certainly, if that's what you wish."

She smiled. "It is."