The Kazekage Has Spoken

"Not when you are a fool for it."

Temari's words lingered in the air like a poisonous cloud of reality. It suffocated the happiness in the room and in Gaara's heart.

The worst part of it all, was that she was right. As usual.

He leaned back in his chair and turned to look out the window.

The streets were full of happy people, all living their lives, completely unaware of anything beyond their present day. That happy ignorance was what he fought for. What the past generations of Kazekage put their lives on the line to protect.

He wasn't a normal man. No matter how he tried to pretend that he was, no matter what lies he told himself or fantasies he clung to, he wasn't free to do as he liked.

Kankuro glared at his sister. "That's too far, Temari. Apologize."

"No, she doesn't need to do that."

"What?"

Gaara sighed and it made him feel ages older than he was. "She's right. Nothing she said was out of line. I... I'm not a normal man. I'm not free to love however or whomever I want. Not if I want to strengthen the Sand. I've been lying to myself and worse, I've been lying to Rin. I've been giving her the promise of a life I can't keep."

Temari closed her eyes, hating the sadness in his voice. "I'm sorry, Gaara. I wish it were different."

Kankuro looked between his crestfallen siblings. "There isn't a way around this? Kage in other villages can marry how they like, why can't we?"

Gaara felt his father's eyes on him, his presence filling his mind. "Because the Sand holds tight to their own. It's why we're treated like royalty and not a democracy like the other villages. We come from a long line of Kazekage. Really, the seat should have fallen to you Kankuro or Temari. That's what everyone expected as the older two."

"We didn't want that seat and neither of us would have done half as well as you."

He gave a small smile. "Thank you. I've tried to put my people first in all things."

"But, must you do it now?"

Gaara's fingers tapped on the arms of the chair. "The council would never approve of the match."

"But why? Rin is working to become one of us, isn't she? Doesn't that give her sand status, at least?"

Temari crossed her arms. "It's better than nothing and she should be commended for continuing to try, despite the cold welcome she's received. However, even if she were Sand-born, Rin still wouldn't be an appropriate choice. She comes from nothing and holds no political backing to strengthen the village. In fact, the council could say her presence brought danger to our people."

"That wasn't her fault!"

"It doesn't matter. A danger was presented because of her and people were harmed. There really isn't anything in her corner to support her as a potential mate for Gaara."

Kankuro shook his head. "How can you be so calm about this? Are you really as cold as everyone believes? I know you're an ice queen to your troops, but I thought you'd at least be supportive of family! Don't you care about Gaara's happiness?"

Temari turned on her heel and fixed her brother with a face that let him see how much that comment hurt her. "Of course, I care! You think I like being the bad guy all the time? You think I don't want to join you and say that love should win because love wins? I hate the position I'm in right now. I have to be practical. I've been tasked with protecting the Kazekage and that means from himself sometimes. I hate what I'm saying right now. I hate it!"

Gaara stood up from his chair and walked over to his sister, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Temari..."

Her brow furled and despite herself, her bottom lip trembled, though she bit it back. "I'm sorry, Gaara. I wish I could..."

"I know."

Kankuro looked down, shame coloring his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

They stood in silence for a moment before Temari recovered her composure. "What will you do, Gaara?"

"Talk to Rin."

Both siblings looked to him, their faces wide and vulnerable. "What are you going to say? You're not leaving her, are you?"

"Never." Gaara walked back to his desk and picked up his neglected paperwork. "I have no intention of leaving the love of my life."

"Then, what will you do about everything else? What happens when the council starts pressuring you into a marriage of political gain?"

His face was an impassive mask. "Then I will remain single and the Kazekage line will die with me. They'll have to find another family to take our place."

"What? You can't do that.... can you?" Kankuro looked to Temari for confirmation and she shrugged.

Gaara signed off on a shipment of weaponry to the Cloud. "I'm not giving up Rin for anything. Even if it upsets my council or my village. If she chooses to stay beside me, wild horses won't tear us apart."

Temari worried her bottom lip. "What happens when they try to force you into it?"

Though he didn't move a muscle, the sand waiting dormant at his side came shooting out and shattered a potted plant in the far corner.

Kankuro ducked out of the way of a flying piece and smiled. "I think the Kazekage has spoken, Temari."

She looked at the mess of soil spilling onto the floor, a feeling of dread coursing through her veins. "Yes. It seems so."

Gaara picked up another document. "I'd like to be alone with my thoughts for the rest of the day."

They both bowed and left out the room, neither saying a word.

After the door closed, the Kazekage dropped his work and laced his fingers, resting his chin on them. "What am I going to say to her? How can I tell Rin we'll never be married or have a child together?"

His heart clenched in his chest.

She deserved to be a mother, if she saw fit. What right did he have to take that from her?

Gaara closed his eyes. "What will I do if she doesn't choose me?"

~~

Later that night, Gaara came to his room and hesitated outside the door. He'd skipped dinner, so had no sight of Rin all day.

That was for the best. It took him this long to try and come up with some way to tell her this information. Any less time and he wouldn't have found anything, even if what he'd decided on weren't much.

His hand found the door handle when a noise from the other side made him close his eyes, heart aching.

She was singing to herself.

These became his favorite things; coming home to her after a day away and sharing what they'd done apart, hearing her sweet voice, smelling jasmine on his sheets long after she left for the day.

He couldn't lose this happiness. Gaara knew he'd never recover from the wound of losing her.

With a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped inside.

Rin sat at the desk, lifting up various oils and smelling them. Beside her, a mortar and pestle waited. He remembered how cute she was when she asked him to make one for her out of sand.

She'd adapted so well to his life, leaving all her things back in the Sound. He felt guilty for it.

Gaara stepped closer to her, smiling at how focused she was to not have sensed his presence yet.

When his hands came to her shoulders, Rin startled and looked back at him, eyes wide with surprise. "Gaara! You scared me!"

"Apologies, my love."

"How long have you been there?"

"Not terribly long. What are you doing that requires so much attention?"

Rin smiled, holding up a new vial of amber-colored oil. "I've been experimenting."

"With what?"

"Herbs that grow well in the heat. I'd like to find a way to transplant my favorites here and have them survive, but in the meantime, I can start small where I am. Did you know that the water found in cactus makes an excellent skin cream and it helps with relaxation as well? I read about it, but never tried myself. Smell this!"

She rubbed some of the lotion she just mixed onto her wrist and held it up for him.

Gaara tenderly held her hand and inhaled the sweet, tangy scent. "Mm that does smell good."

Rin nodded. "I think so too! A few more combinations and I think I can actually have enough knowledge to set up a shop of my own. I'll call it 'Rin's Relaxation' what do you think?"

Her smile was as bright as the desert sun and it made his heart squeeze.

Gaara kissed the delicate wrist she'd presented him and pressed his face into her hand. "I think that's wonderful."

Rin's smile faded, concern melting into her eyes. "Gaara? Is something wrong?"

His breath was a heavy sigh, his expression darkening. "I just..."

"What?"

"I just love you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"If that's the case, why do you look so sad?"

He shook his head, unable to meet her eyes.

Rin stood up from her chair, taking out the pencil that held her hair clasped. "Come here."

Holding his hand in hers, she led him to the bed and sat down beside him.

Her arms secured one of his and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Tell me what's hurting you, love."