A Shadow of Happiness

The mirror was an enemy; a cold, unfeeling, cruel enemy.

A constant reminder of what was and what she'd become. Traces of youth begging to break free from the wrinkled shell cracked with worry and responsibility.

The face of a woman who'd lived through hardship.

"Still sitting there? The sun has already risen over the village and there you are, preening again. Don't you have more important things to do? Something for the Kazekage, perhaps?"

"Yes."

"Well, get to it, then."

Her husband clipped the cuffs of his sleeves, straightening his jacket, without so much as a look spared her way.

"Jin..."

"What?"

She turned on the vanity seat and beseeched him. "Do you remember the beauty I was? Even now?"

He sighed.

Though she knew such a question was never going to be met with the answer she needed, the foolish part of her heart forced it out anyway.

In her mind's eye, she saw her husband stepping close and taking her face in his hands, telling her how she hadn't changed from the young woman he knew and how lovely he still found her; kindness in his features, warmth in his voice.

Reality blinded her.

Jin gave a quick once over and turned away. "That implies you were a beauty to start with. I can't see you as something you never were. Why are you asking such foolish questions today? It's beneath you."

She nodded focusing her eyes on the ground, so he couldn't see the pain in them.

Never would she let him see the weakness that threatened to leak out from her long-fractured heart.

It shouldn't surprise her after forty years of marriage, that he wasn't a kind man. He didn't know warmth or love and she should stop expecting that of him. It only led to heartbreak.

Her mother said as much on the day of her wedding.

"Don't expect him to love you right away. It takes time."

"But, why can't I marry who I choose, Mother? I'm not royalty or anything and there is Ka..."

A harsh slap greeted her.

Mother's stone face was enough to silence her. "I don't ever want to hear you mention that boy's name again. Kafu almost destroyed everything. Thank the heavens your father caught you before you managed to run off with him. Our family would never recover from the shame."

She nodded, fresh pinpricks of blood rising to her cheek. "Yes, Mother."

Mother sighed and placed her veil on her only daughter's head. "You're the shining hope of the Fuma clan. I couldn't give your father a son and we barely squeaked by with you. Now isn't the time to get cold feet. I know arranged marriages seem unfair, but you'll see that duty outweighs affection. Anything else is selfish."

"Yes, Mother."

"Good, your groom is waiting at the altar. Let's go now."

"Yes, Mother."

She didn't remember much after that.

The music was a distant roar in her ears, the white train she walked on, completely clean of dirt or sand, an impressive feat considering where they lived.

She didn't hear or feel anything, until the man, who would be her husband, took her hand into his.

It was a cold hand, elegant and free of callouses.

The kind of hand that belonged to someone high up on the social ladder.

Her heart longed for the rough grasp of Kafu, how it felt when he pulled her hair back and fastened a flower into it. The same one she snuck into her hair now.

The preist droned on and on about blessing their coupling, starting their life as one unit, bringing the clans together; a happy, happy day.

She couldn't bring herself to care even if she tried. This wasn't a happy day. It was the end of everything.

"Hello."

The voice made her jump and she subtly turned her eyes to the man beside her. "Hello."

"My name is Jin."

She nodded. She'd heard that much from the various meetings her father took.

"What's yours?"

He waited for her reply, but when she didn't give it, the hand that was holding hers squeezed a bit tighter. "I expect you'll know basic etiquette. I can't have a wife who will embarrass my clan in front of the Sand. You know your protocols, yes?"

"Yes."

Jin nodded and looked back up at the priest, who continued on as if they weren't having a whispered conversation right in front of him.

"Then tell me the name of the woman who will be my wife."

The bride swallowed, feeling the world drop out from under her, even as a petal from her lover's flower fell to floor.

"Kaba."

~~~

The woman in the mirror winced at the memory.

Jin never came to love her the way Mother promised. He did all the things a husband should; provided a lovely home, food on the table, a higher place in court for her and her family.

He gave her the world, but never his heart. That was reserved for the mistress they both knew about, but neither spoke of.

Kaba thought of Kafu at the most inopportune times, like now, when her lips were cold and untouched, her hands lonely.

He tried to contact her for years, but she forced him away.

It was perfectly acceptable for her husband to save his heart the woman he truly loved, but if they ever found out Kaba shared affections with another man, she would be punished.... he would be killed.

She'd have thrown herself off one of the walls if she were the cause of his end.

"When will you be home tonight, wife?"

Kaba sighed. "Late. The Kazekage has called a meeting of the council. He says it's a matter of great importance that will require much discussion."

Jin nodded and put his hands on her shoulders, but not in the loving way she'd always imagined.

It was the act of centering and directing her, not support.

He did the same thing when she gave birth to their sons. Never a scrap of affection, just a partner to guide her through her process.

"Good, ensure whatever decision he makes, supports the Sand and our clan. Prove yourself worthy of your seat on that council, Kaba. Don't disappoint me."

"Yes, Jin."

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow."

He started to leave and her gaze flickered into the mirror to watch him go. "You're not coming home tonight?"

"No."

Kaba's stubborn heart clenched in her chest. "Ah yes, how silly of me. It's her birthday, isn't it? Make sure you bring her a rose. Women like roses."

Jin glanced to the vase that waited in the windowsill and plucked out a single red rose. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Tomorrow, then."

He left out the door and it took everything she had not to collapse into the tears that begged to be released from years of stolen affection.

Kaba stared at her face once more, the welling eyes, the quivering lip and took a deep, calming breath.

She wouldn't fall to any man, especially not the one who only slept at her side on the nights his heart didn't crave someone else.

She'd made herself useful to the clan, working her way up from secretary to clerk to councilwoman.

Kaba was a force not to be trifled with.

In a world, where all her decisions were made for her, she'd hold dominion over this one.

Her thoughts echoed in each step she took, leading her to the familiar room, where familiar men waited.

Their eyes turned towards her. "Ah, Kaba. Lovely to see you. Do you know why the Kazekage has summoned a council meeting like this?"

"No. I do not."

They all looked at each other and then back at her. "It must be a serious matter, especially if you don't know about it."

"Yes, he's been full of serious matters lately, hasn't he?" She glided over to take her spot at the table and the men followed her example.

Good, she liked when they followed her. Though she wasn't sure of when it happened, somewhere along the line, she'd become the highest-ranking member, other that the Kazekage himself.

Everyone looked to her for guidance and she liked it that way.

This was the place she was respected. This was the place she was valued and no one would take that honor from her.

The door opened and the young Kazekage walked in, his hand enclosed with the impudent woman from the Sound, who stood proudly beside him.

"Fair council, thank you for assembling on such short notice."

They all looked to the joined hands and gave small nods of acknowledgement.

"Lord Fifth, what is the meaning of your inquiry today?" Kaba spoke, trying to keep the panic out of her voice at the sight before her.

The Kazekage looked to the woman at his side and back at his council. "I'd like to discuss a very important matter to Rin Ito and myself."

Her heart sank, a cold sweat coming to the back of her neck. "And what matter would that be?"

Lord Gaara pulled Ms. Ito closer, his face calm and collected. "Our marriage."

The sound of broken glass resonated in her mind. The face of her husband telling her not to fail him, the respect she clung to, the position that ensured her place in this world, all of it stood on the brink of destruction and that girl was to blame.

Rin Ito looked from his face to Kaba and held her eye contact.

The battle of wills was about to begin.