How She Changed Me

The sun hung in the sky, as heavy and harsh as the expectations that lingered in the air.

Gaara stood at the window, staring out at the village as his council discussed the arrangements for the Cleansing. It was approaching at an unrelenting pace, each rise and fall of the sun bringing them closer to an outcome he couldn't guess and a resolution he wasn't sure he wanted.

A week had already passed. Two more and she would be out of time. They would be out of time.

"Security will be posted here, here and here. A guard consisting of Sand, Cloud and Rock. They'll keep to the cliffs and maintain position from a sky view."

"That sounds wise."

"The other Kage will be arriving at 0900 and of course, the proper presentations will be made. When the introductions are complete, the first test will begin."

This drew Gaara's attention, almost as much as the note of glee in Kaba's voice. "Which test will be the first?"

The council members looked up from their maps and documents, surprised at the Kazekage's sudden interest. He'd been silent since they started the meeting and if it were possible, he'd managed to be even more monosyllabic than usual.

They'd given up asking for his input long ago.

"The first test of the maidens will be their grace and presence. They will be expected to carry themselves in a way befitting of a future Kage's bride. The applicants must demonstrate a calm head under pressure and scrutiny."

"Scrutiny? I don't recall this being part of last year's testing."

The councilmembers gave each other sidelong looks. "Lord Fifth, it's been the same test for generations. Are you feeling all right?"

He glanced down and back out the window.

No, he was not feeling "all right."

Rin already faced too much scrutiny since she arrived, and it was all because of him. She didn't deserve to be paraded around like some prized calf to slaughter and he doubted anyone would spare her the axe, if they had the chance.

The guilt was twisting away at his insides.

He racked his mind trying to remember last year's test. What was on it? What was asked? They always changed the questions if a bride wasn't selected that year, but the subject matter would be the same.

Why couldn't he recall what the testing process was like? How could she be expected to learn all the Sand's history and customs within three weeks? It was doomed from the start. No one could shove a lifetime of knowledge into such a short amount of time.

He should have put a stop to it when he had the chance. Should have stood up to his council and claimed such ideas were ridiculous and she deserved better.

Rin's mischievous grin flashed in his imagination, the curve of her neck, the wild mane of hair that never stayed tamed for too long. The way her hands came to her hips and her face set into a look that spoke volumes in the silence.

Despite himself, he found smiling along with it.

She would find a way to conquer this. If anyone could, it was that fierce, funny girl, who captivated him with her words and melted him with her touch.

He let out a breath and tried to gather all the intel he could from the council. It felt odd to play espionage with his own people, but any advantage he could give Rin, would be worth it.

What he didn't know was the head councilwoman anticipated that very thing.

~~~

The rest of the day flew by in a flash and by the time he found himself free of the council room, it was well into the late hour. His stomach growled for dinner, an odd sensation and yet another sign of how Rin had changed his life.

He would eat in the past to sustain himself, but it was long between meals. Food never interested him, sitting down with others was torture, the entire thing seemed pointless.

Since Rin came, he not only found himself enjoying the taste of food more but found the company intoxicating. Rin enjoyed things in a way he never knew before. Each evening she'd fill him in on everything she'd learn and request that he quiz her.

Though, admittedly she'd been less enthused and more exhausted the past few nights.

He'd have to find a way to revive her.

Flashes of the night the spent together went through his mind. Yes, there were a great many things he could do.

His steps trailed through the halls, the scent of the kitchen filling his nose. What was on the menu tonight? Meats? Breads? If he were asked to make a list of foods he liked, he was curious which would make the top of the list.

Rin seemed to have a fondness for yellow cake…

Memories of the skeleton Haru and the agony that followed his demise stilled the idea as quickly as it came. He didn't think she'd eat yellow cake for the rest of her life.

Gaara opened the doors of the dinning hall, but found no girl there, frazzled or not. The seat beside his remained empty.

He looked to the sun, which had fully set and the dishes which were arranged in precise order for a favorable experience.

Where could she be?

Gaara tapped the top of the high sitting chair, humming to himself.

Rin never missed dinner. Even when everything else was falling apart, she found herself at his side, telling him all about it.

He'd heard the unfairness of Mr. Soma's teachings, the stuffy material of the Sand's history, of which he tried not to take offense, her knowledge on tea and relaxation, which thankfully already played into her skills. He heard it all and he enjoyed that she chose to share it with him instead of taking it all on by herself.

Tap, tap, tap.

Where could she be?

He lingered a few more moments, racing through all the possibilities, before the waiting proved too much. The food would just have to wait, it wasn't nearly as good without her anyway.

Gaara drifted through the halls, checking each door she might find herself.

She wasn't in the main entrance teasing the guards, she wasn't in the kitchen dodging flying pots and pans, she wasn't in the library, hold up in one of the lofty rafters, dangerously balanced on the top of the ladders.

Perhaps she found her way back to their room?

He smiled; he liked that sound of that.

Maybe she wanted to rest her tired mind from all the knowledge it was forced to suck in all at once? It wouldn't be the first time he'd find her slumped over the table, pencil still fastened in her hand, papers askew.

He knew he should feel bad that she was that exhausted, but it was one of the cutest things he'd seen. Rin was always the expert of sleep in their relationship, so having her be the child-like one, was a refreshing change for him.

His thoughts started to darken when his steps came to the last room.

Was she off the grounds altogether? Where could she be this late at night? Was she safe?

Honestly, the way he was worrying made him sound more like a fussing hen than a mighty Kazekage. My, how she'd changed him.

"Wh..what was th..the.. t..t..technique used f..for imm..imm..imm."

"Immobilizing?"

"Yes."

"Okay, we just went over this. The preferred technique used for immobilizing by the Sand. Let's see."

Gaara listened outside the door. Who was that other voice with her?

"Y..you can d..d..do it."

"Cloth Binding Technique?"

"Yes!"

Rin let out whoop that made Gaara jump and then smile. He loved hearing her victorious.

He raised a hand to knock and hesitated, listening to the small voice and trying to place it amongst the people that resided in his estate.

"Almost d..d…done. Who was th…the daimyo wh..who s…s..stopped trade with the L..Leaf?"

"A damn fool."

Gaara closed his eyes, as laughed peeled from whomever was inside the room with her.

"M..mama s..s..said you sh..shouldn't s..s…swear."

"Your mother was correct. I'm sorry, Koji."

Koji? Who was Koji? The name wasn't familiar to him at all.

Gaara cleared his throat and stopped eavesdropping, with a solid knock.

"Come in." Rin called and the sight he found wasn't what he'd expected.

The great table in the study was littered with papers, scrolls, a discarded bowl of grapes and two pairs of eyes regarding him, one with love, the other with fear.

"Good evening, Gaara." She smiled her captivating smile, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to have a strange child beside her.

"Good evening."

The boy, he assumed was Koji, shrunk beneath his stare, disappearing into Rin's side.

"I see we have a guest. Care to introduce your new friend, my dear?"

Rin smiled down at her charge and slid a comforting arm around his frail shoulders. "This is Koji the Valiant, my new knight and escort. He's taken on the task of helping me study."

"A perilous task indeed."

She stuck her tongue out at him and Koji looked like he would faint.

Gaara didn't blame him. It wasn't as if his reputation would disappear overnight and he had no memorable interactions with this boy.

However, he already knew who he was. He knew the sunken cheeks and tattered clothes, he knew the look of anxiety that shifted through the room at every small noise, the way he gauged the emotions of the people around him to see how to act.

This was a boy who'd known too much pain in his young life.

Rin stood up from her chair, stretching her arms in the air and cracking her back. "If you're searching me out, that must mean it's dinner time."

Koji slid off his seat and clasped his hands together. "Okay, I'll g..g..go then. S…s..see you in class."

She stopped stretching and put her hands on her hips. "And where do you think you're going?"

The boy froze in his steps. "H..home?"

Rin put a hand to her chest. "What kind of brave knight leaves his lady alone for the night? You will eat with us, Koji."

His eyes turned to the Kazekage, who stood straight and confused. "R..really?"

She smiled at Gaara, her eyes warm and expecting. "Certainly. I'm sure Lord Fifth would love to reward you for all your help today, wouldn't he?"

His gaze held hers and he knew there was no argument. "Of course. Please, join us in the dining hall, Koji, was it?"

"Y..yes s..s..sir."

Rin linked her arm around Gaara's and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "We have much to discuss, my love."