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Disclaimer I do not own Fairy Tail. Why would I be writing fanfiction if I owned something like that?

Beta Reader: volfwildman

(3rd Person Battle POV)

"Nose hair?"

For a second Devin was caught off guard. And for that second Bo attack.

"Nose Hair Bazooka" Two long threads of nose hair came from Bo nostrils and quickly twisted together and shot forward and proceed to hit Devin in the gut and send him back. He was able to land on his feet as he held a hand to his gut, where he had been hit.

"The fuck! That's what you meant! I thought you used a whip or something on our mooks! What the fuck man! I mean nose hair!?" During the shouting, Devin took his hand off his gut and waited for Bo's answer.

Bo crossed his arms before speaking, "My Nose hair magic has been passed down for centuries in the old tribes of Enca. We are the descendants of the once great Hair Kingdom. There is no greater honor than using my fine silky nose hair in battle."

During Bo little speech Devin found he really couldn't make heads or tails of what the afro man was saying but one thing did stand out. "Of course, you from fucking Enca. What is with those islands and all the weird-ass shit it has in its borders."

Bo was rather offended by Devin's words, "You better not be dissing my home Spiky! Get ready for a can of whoop-ass and some of my Snot Fo-You!"

Devin just smirked, "Spiky huh. I'll show you spiky!"

"Spike Barrage" Devin's magic flared before condensing into several grey spikes floating around him. These spikes swiftly shot towards Bo at high speeds with the intent of poking a few holes in the hair man.

Bo in response elegantly dodged out of the way of the spikes. And by elegantly, I mean he flailed around in a panic and the shoots just happen to miss him much to Devin's annoyance. So, the spike mage used his Spike Barrage once again only for Bo to once again panicky frail out of the way. So, Devin attack once again and Bo flailed around once again. And again, and again and again...and again.

"Goddamn it! Stay still, your blond idiot!" In response to angry shouts, Bo just stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry at the man. This just made Devin angrier.

"Spike Boxing" Two lightly transparent grey spikes appeared on both of Devin's hands just like boxing gloves and the biker wannabe moved forward with his hands raised ready to punch something.

Unfortunately, though this proves to also be ineffective as for every punch that Devin throws Bo can twist his body away. With each missing punch, Devin's anger gets bigger and bigger. After about the 30th miss he yell, "Stay still you freak!"

Bo in response simply stands still and reply with an "ok." Devin couldn't help but stare confused at his opponent. For a second, he does nothing but soon decides to take the chance and rushes forward and lands a spiked punch on Bo's abs. The result was not what Devin expected.

"Ahhh!" Devin yells as he steps back while attempting to wave the pain away from his hand. Bo just let out a boisterous laugh before speaking.

"Your spikes are no match for my abs of steel," with that said Bo proceeds to flex causing his abs to shine, glisten and even sparkle, "You're going to have t-" That as far as Bo get before Devin's patience runs out and he sucker punches the afro man in the face.

The attack does some damage as Bo is thrown to the side from the punch. Devin ended up staring at the fallen Bo in surprise before laughing. "Finally," Devin says in between his laughs, "I got a hit on you!" Soon Devin stops laugh and grin at the fallen form of Bo before flushing out his magic

"Spike Barrage" Several grey spikes appear in the air before launching themselves toward Bo's still prone form. However, Bo doesn't stay down much longer as he springs to his feet and unleashes a spell of his own in response.

"Nose Hair Festival" Several stands of nose hairs shoots out of Bo's nostrils and each impact and destroy a spike before receding back with the twin holes on Bo's face. "Nice try Spiky! But you're not winning that easy. Now let's take this dance up a step and boogie!"

Bo promptly breaks into a run toward Devin who is ready for the hair man. "Spike Barrier" Several large grey spikes emerge from the ground around Devin, protecting him. Bo was simply going to break through the barrier but that changed when several spikes jut out of the already existing spikes, hoping Bo would throw himself at them so they could fill him full of holes.

Bo brings himself to a stop before the thorny barrier and after a few seconds of thought simply pulls out a cup of tea. From somewhere and sips it while waiting for the barrier to stop being a barrier. After about a minute or two Devin speaks up.

"Ok what the hell is going on out there!? Why don't I hear you trying to get past my barrier!?" Devin quite downs after that and proceeds to wait another minute before his patience gives out and the spikes around him shatter and reveal the world to him.

And reveals Bo peacefully waiting with a cup of steaming tea in his hands.

Devin stares for a second before speaking, "We're… we're you just standing their drinking tea while I was in my barrier?" In response, Bo takes a nice long and loud sip of his tea before answering.

"Yep. It's quite good tea too. Would you like some? I could get-" And where Bo stops as Devin rushing forward and sucker punches Bo in blind rage at the man's weird ways. Unfortunately, unlike before Bo doesn't fall in fact he just twirls around and uses the momentum of the punch to roundhouse kick Devin and send him to the wall and a crash.

With the kick done Bo stops his twirl and speaks, "Well that was rude. And to think I offered him some of my sunny don brand tea." With that said he promptly drinks the rest of the tea before throwing the teacup behind him and making his way to the open door.

But before he could get far, he's stopped. "Spike Run" Devin erupts from the hole in the wall with his body being surrounded by a large grey spike that is rotating viciously while Devin runs forward at Bo.

Bo is forced to dodge to the side to avoid being run through by the make-shift human-sized drill. And as Devin makes a U-turn to once again go after Bo, Bo decides to respond.

"Nose Hair Revolution" A single nose hair shoots out of Bo nose while rotation at high speed just like Devin's rotating spike. Soon the two twisting forces impact each other and a clash is formed as Devin is attempting to force forward with his spike while Bo does the same with his nose hair. The clash of drills is causing wind to wipe around the two forces as debris is scattered about.

Eventually, the clash ended with an explosion that forces Bo's nose hair to retreat in his nose and Devin to jump back from the explosion. Soon the smoke from the explosion clears with Bo and Devin standing across from each other, Devin breathing in and out deeply while Bo just stands calm as ever.

"God damn I hate you," Devin said as he takes a particularly deep breath before glaring at Bo, "I'm tired of your nose hair! I'm tired of your weird-ass antics and I'm tired of you!" After yelling out that last part Devin lets out a sigh after getting out some of his rage. Unfortunately, this would not last long.

"Well," Bo said in a faux insulted voice, "I find myself quite offended by your harsh words young man. What would your mother think of you right now."? In response to Bo's words, Devin levels Bo with a serious stare while trying to keep his rage in check.

"Considering my mom used to come home drunk and beat me I guess she really wouldn't care." As soon those words left Devin's mouth an uncomfortable silence took place in the room as both just look at each other.

Devin just waiting for whatever dumb response Bo would give. Bo just trying to figure out what the hell to say after his opponent just drop a word bomb on him. After about a minute Bo responded.

"Well… you're ugly!" Once more an uncomfortable silence filled the room before it was broken with a tired and loud sigh from Devin. And as Devin finishes his sigh his eyes widen in anger as he unleashes a loud scream and unleashes his magic.

"Spike Onslaught" A wave of spikes erupt from Devin's feet and start to rapidly grow along the floor towards Bo at a rapid speed. In response, Bo bends his legs in a jumping motion and just before the wave of spike was about to hit him, he launches himself in a huge jump up into the air.

Devin just smirks at the action as the wave of spikes stop where Bo had jumped and soon start to build upon each other as it raced upwards to the mid-air Bo. However, instead of slowing down in the air where the spikes would skewer him like Devin thought, Bo just kept heading up to the ceiling.

Eventually, Bo somehow reoriented himself in mid-air and landed on the ceiling on his feet. He stayed there for a second before looking down at Devin, who was looking up in both surprise and confusion while his spikes were still climbing upwards and launched himself from the ceiling straight towards Devin.

Once again Bo reoriented himself in mid-air until his feet were facing Devin. Before the Spike mage could react, Bo shouted out "Bo Kick" and impacted Devin's face with his feet. Soon Devin's head was forcibly rammed into the ground with Bo's feet acting as a force of nature upon Devin's face.

Once more Bo bent his legs before jumping in the air once more and lands with a backflip a few feet away in a pose while the wave and tower of spikes shattered in the background.

Off elsewhere on an island full of monsters, a certain blond-headed Celestial mage sneezed as she got the distinct feeling someone had just ripped her off.

But right now, we're focused on the blond afro man kicking the but of the spiky bicker.

"And that's what you get for underestimating the power of hair!" Bo all but shouted. But just as he got out of his little pose and was once again going to make his way to the door an angry shout come from the little crater made from the kick, where a pissed off Devin stood.

"That wasn't your hair you idiot! It was you fucking foot!" Devin was straining his vocal cords from the volume he was shouting at. Bo in response did a mock surprise reaction before shyly looking over to the side while twirling his index fingers together.

"Well, you don't need to be so blunt about my mistake you baka." For a second Devin could only stare at the source of his anger. And for that second Devin's mind was utterly filled with rage to a breaking point.

*SHATTER*

And that was the shattering of Devin's mind.

Bo stopped his antics and stared at the man who up until now was glaring at him in ultimate wrath only for said man to just stop doing so and just slump over and stare at the ground. The aura of anger was no longer there and all that was left was a void.

This stayed like this for a few seconds as Devin's near lifelessly stayed slumped and Bo just stared unsure of what to do. He was used to people being angry with him over his weird antics but this was the first time he had broken someone.

Just before Bo was going to talk Devin took a very deep breath before letting out a very long sigh and looking back up at Bo. All traces of rage were gone and in their place was an eerily calm in the air.

"I," Devin began in a calm voice, "Am going to start stabbing you now. I will be using my magic to make puncture wound after puncture wound in your body. I don't know how long I will be doing this, all I know is that I will not stop until your body is just clumps of flesh and blood."

For a second the two just stood there staring at each other before Bo responded. "Isn't that a bit excessive?"

Devin just smiled, "Yes. Yes, it is." and then flood the entire room with his magic. He was pulling out all the stops as he near drained his Magic Core of all its magic just for one last ultimate attack.

In response, Bo took a ready stance. One of his feet facing forward while the other turned right and he bent his knees slightly. His right hand bent inward to his body as he slightly formed a fist with his right-hand palm facing upwards. His left hand came forward and bent forward as his left fist form a claw motion. Once the stance was completely a bright yellow aura with a black outline surrounded his body. Just in time for Devin to release his attack.

"Ragnaspike"

Once Devin shouted the spell wall of grey spikes jutted out around him and from that wall and utter sea of spikes shoot out. Spike after spike rapidly grow from both the ground and other spikes as they came together to form a tidal wave of sharpness that was quickly filling the room and making its way to Bo.

Despite the wave of death that was approaching him, Bo kept calm as he stared down the wave and prepared a spell of his own. Unlike Devin who had thrown away quality for quantity, Bo was refining his magic for his spell and the difference would soon become apparent as Bo released his spell.

"Snot Fo-You: Fist of the Nose Hair"

A pair of thick nose hairs come from Bo's nostrils. These nose hairs also had the yellow aura around them just like Bo's body did. For a second these nose hairs stayed by Bo's side as the tsunami of spikes closed in, seconds away from descending upon the afro man and turning the man into a bloody paste.

Swiftly the pair of nose hairs shoot forward as one and contacted the spikes. With near no resistance the nose hairs shattered and destroyed the section of spike the hairs had hit and continued to spear forward leaving a hole on the spikes in the pair's wake. Soon the nose hairs contacted Devin and impacted his chest.

The nose hairs didn't stop and carried Devin forward as the used his body as a battering ram against the spikes behind him. Soon this ended when Devin's body made an impact with the wall and as a result, created a huge explosion of debris and dust. With that done the pair of nose hairs quickly retracted through the hole it made in the now still sea spikes and back into Bo's nose.

For a second the ocean of spikes stayed still before shattering into nothing and leaving the room clear. Afterward, Devin's body fell from the crater it had made in the wall and to the floor as it crumbled into a hep.

With his work done Bo let out a relieved sigh before for the third time making his way over to the open door. And for a third time, he was stopped.

"Wa-ait," Said Devin he was only just holding his injured body up so he could look at the strange man, "How! Ho-ow are you so str-rong?"

Bo paused for a few seconds before turning back to his defeated opponent. He spoke his next words with a completely serious tone. "I have been all over Earth Land. Seen all kinds of things that would make a grown man cry. But I keep at it. I kept training my hair so that I could be a shining light in this near bald world. I am strong because I have a purpose! To bring peace to hair everywhere!" and with that Bo struck another pose.

For a few seconds, all Devin could do was stare at the posing man and think. After his thinking, he came to one conclusion, that conclusion that he decided to voice. "I lost to an Idiot." And with that Devin gave up and fell unconscious.

With his opponent finally and truly down, for the fourth time, Bo made his way to the door. And for the fourth time, he was interrupted.

"Hello?" came from the door that Bo had come from. From it came Cana as she made her way into the room and spotted Bo.

"Bo! Did you just finish up a fight or something?" At Cana's words, Bo turned around and nodded to her.

"Yes, I just finish beating this stubborn hair abuser." He gestured to the unconscious body of Devin. Cana's eyes widened at the beaten-up form of the Spike mage and turned to look at the utterly untouched look of Bo. Like the man hadn't just been in a fight where he had been seconds away from death.

In the end, Cana just let out a sigh and ignore the fact that the weird man looked just fine. "So, if your done can we start making our way forward? I'd like to see if we can't help Bish in a fight if he gets into one."

Bo nodded his head in agreement, "Yeah, I'm done with this fool. Let's go Cards." and with that, he for the fifth and hopefully last time started making his way to the other door.

Cana made to follow before pausing as she registered the fact, she had just been called Cards. But at this point, she really didn't care and just lightly shook her head before jogging forward with Bo.

Hopefully, Bishop would be fine.

(Bishop's POV)

As I was quickly making my way down the stairs, I had come across about a minute ago, I found my mind active. Currently, I was thinking about how I had just let Cana face a psycho who would murder her without a second fight.

I found that I was rather annoyed with myself for doing that. Thinking back about it I guess that I just wanted to leave that room as soon as possible. I wanted to get away from that mad man and away from the Whispers that I had nearly forgotten about after all these years.

I was pleased with how easily I was able to deal with them, at least compared to last time. I had hoped that they would be a one-off thing but apparently, it won't. Lovely.

What's done is done though so I just need to have faith in my little sister to take care of him. I need to focus on my current task and catch up with Mammon. And from the looks of it, the stairs would be ending soon and hopefully lead out into another room.

My hopes were answered when the stairs ended and there were only a few feet of hallway before it leads into another large room. Just like the other rooms before there wasn't much in terms of decorations, just a room.

The only thing that stood out in the room was the door on the other end of the room. This one, unlike the other doors, was made of gold and gems on it that took the form of a crown. It too was open though just like the other doors and before it stood Julia as she lazily looks at the pages of a floating grimoire.

Luckily, I was still under Vanish from when I sneaked by Devin so she didn't notice me. I quickly pull out my saber from my hammerspace and started to make my way over to her. The blade already had some Blue Waltz poison on it and if I did things right then this would be over without a fight.

Grimoire magic was just like Ring and Requip magic. It was limited by the selection of items it had, in this case books, but if you had some good items and a large selection of them you could be a dangerous mage. The most famous Grimoire mage I knew from my research about the magic was a man named Nelson Faunas who was a part of the royal guard of the Kingdom of Joya.

The man could use five different books at the same time, each one floating to his side. Three of them would usually be ancient books based around attacking, defending and support magic. The support one even had healing magic in it. The other two were usually changed out to fit the situation. The man was very dangerous and a good example of how strong a Grimoire mage could get. Which was why I was hoping to quietly defeat the woman in front of me before she could react.

Unfortunately, life had other plans.

Once I took a few steps towards her book quickly flipped itself toward me and had its pages opened ready to cast a spell from the black writing and runes on its pages. The action caused me to stop and Julia had a look of surprise for a moment before a smug smile found its way onto her face.

"Well, well, well," said Julia as she turned her gaze to me," I guess it's lucky that my precious little dark grimoire can track any threat near me, no matter how hidden. No why don't you stop hiding and face me before I unleash my magic on you?"

I couldn't help the sigh that left my mouth as I looked at the woman and her book.

Why couldn't life just give me a break?

AN: Life gives no one a break, unfortunately. This chapter was both fun and annoying to write. On one hand, since this was mainly a comedy chapter I had fun making the jokes. On the other hand, it was hard to come up with weird jokes without full-on LOL RANDOM. I think I was about to get it all right. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the chapter and looking forward to the next chapter.

Thanks once again to volfwildman for being a Beta. And this week's shout-out is going to EdgyBro fo all his reviews and message. Those reviews really made my day.

JK no joke about reviewing. If you face you...people who read fanfiction! I mean who does that!? Ha, I got you...and I write fanfiction...sigh.

Have a great day.

P a treon . com (slash) BETAsatchel