Can you Blame me?

Dearest Diary,

It's yet another day and I am feeling both super charged and super excited. If all goes well today, I'll sign in a new client and it is going to be a great boost to our business.

I am not sure you understand, but this client has the capability to take us global! And with their recommendation, God knows how much more further we will be able to go.

What? Right now that issue with Troy is so insignificant I would not worry myself. Maybe when I am done with this and then, I will allow myself to think about it. That said, I know that he's arriving today and I can't wait to see him.

Until then, Ciao!

******************************

"T...Troy?" I stutter.

Emmanuel, our contact person looks up and gives me a huge smile.

"Ah..Miss Durnham. Hujambo? I see you've made it." He says standing up to greet me, but I do not see him. All I see is the dark haired guy with startling green eyes staring back at me with the same intensity as I am putting in.

"Miss Durnham." Emmanuel says with the smile still plastered on his face. "This is Troy White," he pauses for a moment before going on and I am almost snap at him in frustration. However, my patience is rewarded as he goes on to spew out some more sentences that end up creating more quedtions than answers. " He is our managing director and also a partner and a major shareholder in this company." Emmanuel goes on to add and at that point Troy seems to finally snap out of his trance.

"Miss Durnham?" He smiles. "I was of the idea that I was meeting your boss, is he not coming?'

"No no..." Emmanuel stutters as he tries to correct him. "Sir, Attara Durnham  is the managing director of the company. Like you, she owns the majority of the shares in that company and I have to say, for a company that just started the other day, they are really impressive."

"Managing director?" Troy drawls out, all the while his eyes are fixed on me and for a moment I forget how to breath.

"Please sit down Miss Attara. Mr. David is not coming?" Emmanuel intervenes, his eyes skipping over to Aoko and I realise that this is the first time he has looked her way since we stepped into their board room.

"No, I apologise on his behalf," I respond, effectively taking his attention away from my shy friend. "There was some last minute details he had to take care of and he couldn't manage to accompany me." I add.

"Oh, that's understandable I guess. Decision making won't be a problem since you represent over eighty percent, right?"

I nod and smile stiffly before taking the proffered seat opposite the pair of them. Aoko follows me and takes the seat beside me all the while squirming under Troy's intense look.

"David?" Troy grinds out through gritted teeth.

"Oh yea, he is miss Attara's partner in business." Emmanuel replies flippantly as he takes a seat beside Troy. For some reason the guy is completely oblivious to the turmoil brewing right under his nose.

"All along, he's known?" Troy grinds out and I can't help but shiver under the intensity of his gaze. "What am I even saying?" He adds. " The guy is your partner!"

He lands his fists on the table and Aoko jumps back in shock and fear. In an instant, all my nervousness disappears and my brows furrow into a frown as I counter Troy's pissed of look with an angry one of my own.

"Yes, he's my partner!" I hiss. "And you've no right to shout at me! I don't remember ever agreeing to inform you of every move I make, so back off!" I riposte irritatedly.

"I do not understand. What is going on?" Emmanuel says a confused look replacing his ever present and warm smile.

"I need some time alone with 'Miss Durnham' here." Troy replies coolly, his eyes still glaring daggers at me. When no one seems to respond, he snaps his head and raises his voice, scaring the wits out of Aoko and Emmanuel.

"Now!"

In an instant, both Aoko and Emmanuel scramble out of the room and I am left alone with raging  beast that is my daughter's father.

"I told you before, I do not appreciate you scaring my friends like that."

Instead of responding, Troy leaves his seat and starts pacing about the room. My eyes follow him, my irritation mounting with every turn that he makes until I cannot take it anymore.

"Will you please stop that! You're giving me a headache!" I explode.

"Why?" Troy says as he finally turns to face him. His tone is soft and his form is minutely crumbled in a way that makes you feel like those three letters were quite hard for him to speak.

"Why what?" I ask furrowing my brows at him.

"Am I so insignificant to you that you had to keep all this things from me?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Let me see? What was it you said? Oh yea, you made partner!" I reply, throwing his accusation back to his face.

"I offered to tell you everything, but you refused. Plus you already knew that I was wealthy."

He is right, of course, but I do not tell him that.

"So what's your problem then? That I happen to have a little money?" I yell.

For a moment, a flash of a something akin to hurt crosses his eyes but I am too far gone to care.

"Attara...that's not it."

"It's not? Please enlighten me?" I reply sarcastically.

Despite the cold looks and glares that he's been throwing me, Troy crumbles into his seat and gives out a defeated sigh.

"I felt humiliated Tara. They all knew but me. What's worse, was their pitying glances and it really hurt me to know that the woman I love does not trust me."

Shame floods my heart and I realise that I totally understand him. It was a tough situation for him to be in, but like he had said and in the situation that I was in, I really didn't trust him.

"Can you blame me? Your mother sued me!"

"I know and I am sorry. I understand why you couldn't trust me but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Somehow I had thought that we were strong enough to withstand that."

"I thought so too Troy, four years  ago and look where that got me."

"I am sorry Attara. I just hope that that whole trial finally proved that you could rely on me." He adds with another heavy sigh.

"It did," I reply thoughtfully. "But before then, I wasn't sure."

Troy nods before turning to face me with another question.

"How many people know?"

"Including you and the judge?" He nods. "Six."

"Let me guess, your dad, David and your two cousins..."

"Yes, Linda and my workmates too, but I didn't count them."

"Okay, if you don't mind me asking, how? How did you do it? I have seen your finances and I deduced that you must have had some pretty substancial capital to be able to go big in such a short time."

"I am a writer, Troy. All those books I wrote, it was not just a hobby. I got them published and several got incoporated into the country's school curriculum."

"That's why you moved here?"

"Yes," I nod. "And from that I made investments."

"You have others apart from the company?"

"I have some rental apartment buildings within the city, an office block, cottages among others "

"That's impressive." He replies with raised eyebrows.

"Yea. How about you?"

"As you know I am a lawyer and I, like I already told you, I made patner.Apart from that, some years ago, when I reached twenty five, I accessed my trust fund and from that I made some investments in some businesses that ended up doing very well. Some time later, my friends and I started this company and from there, here we are. We now have branches all over the world and as you can imagine that's how Nepal came to factor in." He finishes by answering the question I had asked but had refused an answer too, that time when we had vacationed in Mombasa.