31_She Regretted Nothing

After returning from Merry Waters, Li Yao spent her Sunday like a dead man. She locked herself up in her room and didn't come out for a very long time. And today was Monday, a day to return to work.

She only turned on her phone this morning only to see that there were dozens of messages and miss calls from Mu Lihai.

Her heart crashed against her chest when she saw his name on the phone.

What should she do?

Should she give him a call?

He might be worried sick when he couldn't reach her since Friday night.

Remembering how her boyfriend was somehow involved in her mother's death, Li Yao's heart was clenched tightly again.

Now she knew that it wasn't his fault. She was glad that she didn't go lashing out at him and demanding answers for the incident.

She was really glad that she believed in her heart to trust him.

He was indeed the man she loved.

"Miss Li?" Li Yao's trance was broken once she heard the voice of a man she recognized.

"Head Attorney Wang." she flashed him a faint smile. But somehow it seemed forced.

"Is something wrong?" he asked her and she just shook her head.

"You know you can confide in me if there's something you're troubled with." he said gently. His assurance made Li Yao's head become lighter as she nodded her head.

"Thank you, Head Attorney Wang." Li Yao said, her voice wasn't as sullen as it was just now.

"A fight with your boyfriend?" Head Attorney Wang inquired. He tried to fish for her reaction and he was surprised to see that Li Yao's shoulder stiffened slightly after he mentioned him.

His eyes narrowed and his expression changed.

"Um.. Head Attorney Wang. Can I have a talk with you in your room? It's important." Li Yao told the man in hope of changing the subject. Thank goodness she succeeded when he nodded in affirmative.

When they were in his room, he invited her to sit. Li Yao didn't waste any time as she held out some files and an old notebook.

She looked quite reluctant to do this somehow but after a minute, she steeled herself and sat with her back straight.

She needed to to do this.

Li Yao had cried herself to sleep for two whole days. It was the worst days she ever experienced in her life. But she didn't give up and succumb to the sorrow.

There was no need for her to do that.

She wasn't weak. She didn't want to become weak.

Would becoming weak and crying herself to death bring back her mother? No.

Her mother had chosen death herself.

It was her own choice. Nobody realized it and nobody could have stopped it. Li Yao included.

She kept blaming herself as she cried alone in the dark. She kept asking herself why was she so useless, so powerless?

Li Yao couldn't even help her mother. She was truly a bad daughter.

And she had decided to live with this guilt forever.

*

Head Attorney Wang was in utter silence the entire hour. He took his time reading the report very slowly and his face was changing color very frequently that it seemed abnormal.

The man read the entire pages that Li Yao gave him. The way he sat on the chair with that poised stature and handsome tranquil yet mature look made her realize that she might have a crush on him before she met Mu Lihai.

Her thoughts drifted over to Mu Lihai again.

She missed him. She wanted to see him.

He was her first boyfriend. Her very first relationship. Li Yao knew that the way they first met was unconventional. She had saved him from getting hit by a car. But only she knew that that wasn't the first time she saw him. That was the second time. And Mu Lihai had no idea of this second encounter. If she was to tell him about their first one, would he be surprised? Would he laugh or chuckle slightly with that sweet deep voice of his?

Somehow, she wanted to see his reaction so bad.

To be honest with herself, she had never thought of meeting him again after that one night where he was standing by the roadside looking very distant and untouchable. But she didn't know that she did have a small amount of hope to see him again if she ever got the chance.

And that was what made her become very self-conscious around Mu Lihai. She felt like she was a metal being driven to him when he was the magnet. She was confused at first. Mistaking the feelings to be just a fleeting flashy emotion that will soon go away.

But oh she was so damn wrong.

Li Yao knew that the unpleasant tugging in her heart whenever he was close was due to the attraction they shared with each other. She just didn't want to admit it.

But when he confessed that he liked her. She was finally aware that she didn't dislike his confession. She felt something more than just happy at that time.

So Li Yao decided to give herself a chance to follow her heart.

And even to this moment, she regretted nothing. Her love for him stayed strong and unwavering.

His past that had crossed with her mother on that rainy day- she didn't care about it. Li Yao didn't have the heart to put the blame on him and neither did she want to.

She would want to have a long talk with him about it later so for now, she wanted to do what was important.

Li Yao took a deep breath after a long mind trance. She faced Head Attorney Wang who had just finished reading everything. His look conflicted and a little bit clouded to a darker shade.