Fall Short

"What does she up to ?" I ask to Sara with gritted teeth.

"I don't.."

"Na.. Na.. Na... Don't tell me you don't know anything about this," I cut her.

Sara exhales heavily, but she says nothing and just busying herself with her laptop.

"Well ?" I ask again after few minutes of silence.

Instead of answering my question, Sara turns on the wide screen that stand in front of the table we've been sitting on.

"Madam," Sara says in calm and solemn tone when figure of Mrs. Rauss appears on the screen.

"Hello, my son," Mrs. Rauss greets me instead.

I wince my eyes hearing that, but it is just wasting energy to argue about that. At least now. I am so exhausted. My body still hurts and the blacks and blues are still there. I barely can't focus on doing anything. I even don't dare to drive. Well, it is understandable actually since I haven't been able to sleep for more than 72 hours.

I turn my head to Sara and give her a meaningful sight. Sara raises her eyebrows, trying to play dumb. I change my sight into a pleading one. Sara sighs.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your time, Madam," Sara says after coughing. "Mr. Bennet here... he... wonders... about what is the real purpose of the mission he just did."

"Why should he care about the purpose ?" Mrs. Rauss asks.

"Because..."

"Because my mission was to eliminate the target." Being impatient, I cut Sara's words. "And I did. I am 100% sure my bullet hit that man's heart."

"You did."

"But the target survives.."

"He is."

I scoff and shakes my head several times. "So what's the point ?"

"Don't you wanna know the how ?" Mrs. Rauss instead leads me to another direction.

I scoff again. "I know how."

Mrs. Rauss raises her eyebrows.

"You sent a warning message to his people. So they of course applied their emergency protocol and put his stunt double to replace him instead."

Mrs. Raus claps her hands. "You are as clever as always, Quint.:

I wince again hearing it. "Why ?" I forcefully pull my body off the back of chair I sit on, trying hard not to show the pain I feel because of it with any face expression. "Why you did it ? So you can say I fail my mission ? So you can avoid to safe my family ? Or.. so you can have a reason to push me to join your organization ?"

"Did I do any of that ?" Mrs. Rauss ask me back still with a little curl up in the corner of her thin lips.

"Are you going to ?"

"If you want me to.."

"Damn it !!" I slam my palm on the table so hard that the table is shaking. "Don't play around with me !!"

And still it is responded by a thin smile on Mrs. Rauss' face. "I almost forget that you have emotion."

I throw my body back to the back of the chair. While closing my eyes, I regulate my breathing and count to ten.

I can hear Mrs. Rauss sighs before she speaks, "Your mission was supposed to eliminate the target. But things happened on the way that changed our decision."

"Why don't you abort the mission ?" I ask her again.

Mrs. Rauss shrugs. "You know why.."

"No, I don't."

Limited by screen glass, we both are starring at each other deep. Only after five more minutes, Mrs. Rauss says in flat tone, "I need to know your professionalism."

I lose my words. Even after the screen is off, I still can not say a word.

---------

The man just arrives behind the podium. He waves at the crowd that continuously cheers his name up. He doesn't realize that there is a target mark hovering his left chest. As the last amount of breath exit my breathing system, my finger pulls the trigger. A second later, the man lies lifelessly on the floor.

Suddenly my phone is ringing and once I pick it up, Thief's voice is bursting out from its speaker, "YOU !! How could you ?!?!? I thought we were friends !!"

"Thief, I... " Before I can have a chance to finish my words, Thief hangs up her call.

I sigh heavily and putting my eyes behind the telescope for the last time before I start cleaning up. The body of the man is still on the floor, his chest is full of blood. But... I can feel colors are leaving my face at instant when I see his face. His face... Why... Andy ?? What ?? How can ??

Andy suddenly opens his eyes and opens his lips, saying directly to me, "I thought you would protect me !!" with his sharp dagger eyes staring straight into my eyes.

I open my eyes with a little jolt and a lot faster heart rate. For a second I still can not recognize where I am. But then I know immediately. My old room in the North Wing.

I exhale heavily to erase the nightmare I just had. Still, it is vividly captured inside my brain. My heart is literally hurt when out of my order, my brain replays their voices, Thief and Andy's. Both are very bitter and full of disappointment. In me. I have disappointed them.

When their voices are getting louder and louder inside my brain, I cover my face with my hands and shake my head for several times. "No... No... No!!!" I punch the pillow beside me then pull my hair with a frustrated groan, "Argh !!!"

I grab my phone that is put on a night stand on my right and immediately dials Thief's number. It is inactive. At least that what is told by the voice from the operator. I check message I wrote to her right after the clash. I sigh in disappointment when I notice it is not even delivered to her. She block me. I understand why she did it, but still... I hope she didn't do it. I hope... she somehow... forgives me.

I sigh again. Whom am I kidding ? I won't forgive anyone who tries to harm my family, Lily for instance.

"But it's different. You are force to do it, she is not," A voice inside me is trying to defense my self.

"What is the different when the purpose is the same ?" Another voice speaks up. "She is trying to kill your loved ones, while you are trying to kill Thief's father."

"Well, she wanted to kill TWO of your loved ones, and you were only..."

"Does the number really matter ? Are you going to forgive Lily if she was only trying to kill Jennifer ?"

I know the last voice wins its argument when the earlier voice didn't utter a single more word.

I open my eyes and just place their sight to the chandelier right on the center of the room. Trying not to let my brain thinking about my remorse nor my nightmare again, I deliberately let it observes every detail that my eyes can capture in this room with the help of almost no light.

The chandelier is maybe the only castle-like thing in this room. When I moved here, I chose modern minimalist furnitures to fill the room. Not many. Only this low frame king size bed, a long cupboard that has a study desk at one of its end, and a reading chair.

I furrow my eyebrows to see a vanity on the wall across my bed. Well, I recognize whose it is. It's Lil's. She brought it here when she decided to 'move-in' with me. Does it mean that she is still sleeping here ?

Shit !! I instantly jolt and get out of the bed. I walk toward a door that leads me into a built-in closet. Once I open it, I know my guess was right. Half of the closet is filled with Lily's clothes. The other half of the closet is filled with... my clothes.

I sigh and close my eyes after discovering this fact. It is almost five years, and yet... nothing is change. She is still sleeping in my room. She doesn't even remove my clothes. It is obvious that she is still stubbornly...

I let another sigh before closing the door. I decide to go back to Jennifer's side. I don't know how long I've been here. All I remember, after five days I couldn't sleep, I finally accepted Sara's offer of couple of thin-rolled papers and a strip of sleeping pills. I had them in the living room.

Soundlessly, I go down the stairs. But in the mid-way, my feet are halted as my eyes see the living room.

Nothing's weird with it. It is still a beautiful well-furnished living room with three off-white sofas shaping a U shape around a big coffee table, with a Turkish red carpet beneath them. The Knights love to spend their times in this room, well except maybe Albert and Charlotte. They usually spend their times in their room. But the others... do almost everything here, even eating.

In the middle of the night like this, this room usually is empty. Well, now is almost empty. There are two people there, a couple. Bruno and Lily. Lily is sleeping with her face is facing the back of the sofa. Her right palm covers her face. But, with the loss of her ring finger, you can still see the traces of tears running down her right cheek. Lily lost both her ring fingers as a punishment given by Madam. Lily's dream is to marry me. Now, no one can put a ring on her finger anymore.

I shift my sight a little to Bruno who is sitting on the carpet, bends his knees in front of his chest, few feet from Lily. His head downs low on his lower arms that are put on top of his knees. This man loves Lily so much. Even after so many years of rejections, he never stops to love her. I don't know how wide his heart is to be able to coupe so many disappointments from Lily's ignorant acts toward him. What amaze me more is instead making me his rival, Bruno genuinely became my friend, the closes friend I had among the group I could say.

My phone suddenly rings. Its sound is not only calling me back from my thought, but also awaken both Bruno and Lily.

"Yes ?" I say once I receive the call.

"Mr. Bennet," Mr. Paresh's voice greets me. "Today is the exact 34 weeks of the pregnancy. If you wanted to, it is safe enough for the baby to be born now."

@@@@@ AUTHOR'S NOTE @@@@@

I just learnt a writing technique and trying to apply it here. What do you think ? anything different ? Better ? Worse ? Let me know in the comment please.

Anyway, Baby Sophie is about to be born !! Yeeey !! I can't wait !!