Chapter 39 The Anchor He Needed

"Y-yes?"

Li Tian blinked a few times to focus his vision but a headache started to form in his head instead. He rubbed his temples and let out a groan, "Uugh... How long have I been sleeping?"

"N-not too long," Rai stuttered nervously but tried to remain calm. The Li heir had really surprised him by suddenly jerking up like that. "The food's already here. I woke you up to eat together..."

"Oh, thanks, Leixue. By the way, did you hear what I said earlier?" Li Tian appeared to be unfazed.

"Earlier?"

"When I was half asleep."

"Oh," the boy looked thoughtful and shook his head. "Your voice was a little too soft for me to hear it properly. I'm sorry..."

The young man gently rubbed Rai's head before getting up to go to the kitchen. "Let's go eat then. I'm starving."

"Okay," Rai responded normally but couldn't help but silently study his new teacher's actions.

𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳? 𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯.

Thinking hard, he tried to remember if he may have caught a few words but the more he thought about it, the more he felt that his mind was just playing tricks on him. It might have been a whisper, but he had an inkling that Big Brother Tian had mentioned the name Rai.

𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘙𝘢𝘪? 𝘙𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳... 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘐 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘪 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦? 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳... 𝘜𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘩...

He wasn't sure so he didn't want to assume anything.

He recalled how many people he had told about his Asahin name and most were in the South.

Not being able to remember while supposed to be having a good memory made him feel frustrated.

They reached the kitchen quickly, stopping his thoughts any further.

"This is a lot of food! That Levi... he knows me too well," Li Tian complained in a happy tone. He continued muttering on the favors he owed under his breath.

They both sat down and ate happily. After a while, Rai could no longer be surprised by the amount of food being stuffed into the mouth of the man in front of him.

As they finished eating, the small boy got up and brought the used plates to the sink.

"You don't have to do that, you know," the Li heir raised a questioning eyebrow. He didn't bring his little brother here to be a maid.

"It's okay, Big Brother Tian. It's the least I could do after today. I'd feel bad if you don't let me do this much," Rai persuaded. "Besides, it was originally a job offer to be your attendant."

"Hmmm..." Li Tian went quiet for a while as if in thought. No one could guess what was on his mind.

There was a peaceful silence between the two as one scrubbed the dirty dishes and the other clearing up the trash.

"Leixue, it's about time I take you home," the older one suddenly said.

Rai's hands stopped moving. "O-Okay."

It was still relatively early thus the sudden offer had caught him off guard. Did he do something wrong?

They chat a bit more before it was time to go. However, before they left, Li Tian had quickly gone up to his room to grab a few things and came back down with a big duffel bag.

Rai didn't think it was his place to ask so he chose to ignore it. Maybe he really did have something to do later.

"One more thing, wait right here," the Li heir opened the main door, closed it behind him without letting the small boy out, and looked at the nameplate. He then took out some opaque tape and pasted it over his other name, leaving only the Li visible. "Sigh... this is all I can do for now. I wasn't expecting to bring a guest here as Li Tian after all..."

After a few more seconds of checking for flaws, he called his little brother out.

Rai carefully stepped out without looking behind him. He could still remember the other's over-the-top reaction to him almost seeing the door, although he wasn't exactly sure what was on it.

"Good boy," Li Tian grinned as he pat his head. "Sorry bout that. It's a clan secret. I covered it up already so you don't have to worry bout it next time but be sure not to take it off."

"Okay," the boy nodded. That meant he could look now right?

𝘕𝘰... 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘦𝘬. 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦.

They walked to the elevator and got in.

As the doors were closing, Rai couldn't help but notice the nameplate covered by tape.

𝘓𝘪...?

Close.

.....

The conspicuous car coupled with the driver's loud laughter cruised the streets of Bellrose until it finally reached a hillside manor. The two spent a while conversing the entire way, and Rai slowly became more comfortable with speaking casually.

Li Tian parked in the driveway and took off the cap on his head, letting his hair free.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow around 9 am."

"What are we doing tomorrow?" the boy asked curiously.

"I've got work tomorrow. You'll be there to assist me," Li Tian looked at the boy from top to bottom. "We also need to get you some new clothes."

"New clothes? What's wrong with what I have now?"

The Li heir rolled his eyes and grunted. "You obviously have no sense of style. We'll continue this conversation tomorrow. I have something to do tonight."

"Oh. Okay," Rai responded without question.

Seeing him, Li Tian sighed in defeat. He grabbed the boy's head with both hands and began to ruffle his hair violently until it became a big hot mess.

"B-Big Brother Tian!?" Rai blurted as his head was being assaulted. He looked up to see a big goofy grin on the young star's handsome face.

"Don't worry too much, Leixue. Just get some rest tonight and anticipate tomorrow."

"O-Okay," Rai blushed at the image he was blessed enough to witness. He obediently got out of the car and bowed his head in gratitude. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you, Leixue!"

The convertible then drove away, slowly disappearing from his view.

"Sigh..." Now that he was home, Rai knew things weren't going to be as easy as Li Tian made it out to be. He would have to face his family again. And with what happened earlier today, he knew he wouldn't be left alone.

As soon as he thought that, the manor door opened and his father's personal butler appeared.

"Your father requests your presence in his study," the butler said before leaving him alone.

Rai quickly fixed his hair in place, patted down the creases in his clothes, and headed towards his father's office. There was no denying the anxiety he was feeling but there was no way around it. Being back in the North meant he had to face his family almost every day.

He respected his father, but that respect came from the fear instilled in him.

After reaching the office's large wooden doors, he stuttered in his steps.

𝘐𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺?

Just the thought of what could happen made his palms sweaty. He took deep breaths to calm down his speeding heart but the anxiousness just wouldn't go away.

There was no use in stalling any longer.

Knock. Knock.

"Father, it's Leixue."

"Come in."

Rai walked in and quietly reached the giant mahogany table where his father sat, shuffling through some documents. He stood there without sitting, only waiting for instructions.

The silence was stifling.

After what seemed like forever, the middle-aged man rested his hands on the table and turned to look at his son from behind his reading glasses. From top to bottom, nothing seemed to have changed on the boy's appearance, but something still felt different.

"Did you meet Li Xinya?"

The question finally broke the dead air between them.

"Yes, I did," the boy did his best to speak composedly.

"Did he say anything?"

"Say... anything?" the question confused him.

"About why they picked you, boy! Did he say anything!?" Zhou Liuxian began to lose his temper. In his mind, this son of his was just too useless.

"N-No!" Rai jumped in fright and answered him. "H-He just called me... the one Li Tian had chosen and invited me for lunch."

"The one Li Tian had chosen?" the words made the Zhou Clan Head skeptical. "Is this some sort of cover?"

"...Cover?"

"Obviously it's Li Xinya who asked for you!" the man snickered. "Did you really think someone as arrogant as Li Tian would come all this way for a bastard like you?"

"W-What?" the boy's voice came out like a squeak.

"Inviting 𝘺𝘰𝘶 to lunch? Huh! Li Xinya is definitely trying to use you in some way. But that's fine," Zhou Liuxian chuckled as he eyed his son with a dangerous look. "I can use you better."

"Use me..."

"Listen up, boy. You are finally able to be useful to me. You had better not think of disobeying your father," the man stood up from his seat to threaten the already frightened boy.

"N-Never, Father..." Rai could feel his entire body shivering. With the situation he was in, he could only lower his head and obey.

.....

It was a chilly night, but nothing felt colder than his heart. Rai arrived in his room feeling nothing but numb.

His turmoil of emotions from the meeting with his father had reached a boiling point, and now he was left with emptiness.

𝘐'𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥... 𝘉𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳... 𝘉𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘪 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘯... 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘛𝘪𝘢𝘯?

He shook his head and frowned sadly.

"It's supposed to be Mr. Li Tian, isn't it..."

Being treated so nicely by him made it hard to believe that he was actually being used...

But his father's words and the length in which he said them were truly convincing. There were enough rumors and stories already painting Li Tian's personality. Why would he suddenly be acting so nice to a nobody like him?

Was there really no hidden motive behind it?

"Does this mean him saying I was the brightest was a lie...?" Rai's voice cracked from trying to suppress his broken-heart.

He'd lived for ten years moving from place to place being unwanted and despised. While it was a short life, it was still his entire life. He had done his best to remain grounded. But now, at an all-time low with currently no one to rely on, he felt himself sinking deeper into this pit called heartache.

He wouldn't have fallen so fast usually but after a long time of being pushed aside to suddenly being shown kindness, then having to realize it was just a sham all along...

His ten-year-old heart couldn't handle it.

Now the instant that he was alone, the thoughts he had kept hidden inside all this time came back to haunt him, causing his breathing to suddenly get faster.

"Haaaaaah.. haaaaaah..."

𝘕𝘰...

He knew what was happening. The feeling of not getting enough air had happened a few times already in his short life.

𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰... 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭... 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨...

He knew what to do but with his agitated mental state, his body was not responding to his thoughts.

𝘕𝘰...!

Tears streamed down his face as he clutched his chest in despair.

𝘞𝘩𝘺... 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘴𝘰... 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤...

𝗕𝗲𝗲𝗽. 𝗕𝗲𝗲𝗽.

𝘏-𝘏𝘶𝘩?

The sound was akin to a holy chime in an abandoned house of prayers.

Even in his pain, he didn't ignore it and struggled to reach for the cellphone in his pocket instead. Seeing the name on the screen, his eyes widened into saucers and his crying became loud sobs. Only this time, they were from happiness.

𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘨...

He fumbled and somehow managed to open up the messages.

𝗕𝗶𝗴 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗴: I'm coming over in 5 minutes.

The succinct words were helplessly toneless and straight to the point, but they conveyed enough for Rai to feel immense relief.

There was still someone honest to him in this life.

He pushed for his body to listen to him and rubbed away his tears. Although he wasn't completely better, it was enough for him to send a reply.

𝗥𝗮𝗶: Okay.

After pushing send, he pressed his lips together and started to completely focus on calming himself.

Big Brother Lang would be here soon.

.....

Xiaolang familiarly walked past the kitchen, out the dining room, and into the hallway. Getting into the manor was surprisingly easy if one used the pathway Rai taught him.

He wondered if the boy had to frequent it due to the main entrance being unavailable to him sometimes.

The staff also chose to ignore the young man for some reason.

He was unsure if it was just because he had been here before, or if they actually pitied the illegitimate son, being silently more lenient with him as the first friend he brought over.

He hurried his footsteps to his little brother's room.

He had spent all day today with Rai as his real self, thinking it would be easier...

But he realized he still felt stuffed inside from having to hide his true intentions. What was the point of being yourself if you had to look for excuses all the time?

True as Xiaolang he couldn't speak loudly, but he was still being himself in a certain way. It was only suppressed... albeit quite severely.

Yeah, he couldn't tell the truth. But at least he wasn't lying.

Having to fake things was very frustrating for a straightforward guy like Li Tian.

As Xiaolang, he could just say nothing at all.

As an heir, he was loud. But as a commoner, his actions spoke for him.

After all, people with high status could say whatever they wanted and people would stop everything to listen. A nobody did not have such privileges.

He was slowly beginning to understand such things after spending time with Rai today. The boy treated him well... but it was noticeably different. He treated him with distance, being very thoughtful, but it was the thoughtfulness towards someone of higher standing.

"Tch..."

It annoyed him. But he couldn't understand why.

Soon, he reached the unassuming door and quickly pushed it open.

The sudden intrusion caught the room owner off guard who quickly tried to hide away the stuff in his hands.

𝘖𝘩. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘬.

Xiaolang forgot he had to use common curtesy more consciously, except the mistake made him notice something...

𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦... 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨?

The boy quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeves and smiled at the visitor happily.

"Big Brother Lang... I'm so happy you're here..."

The red eyes remnant of his obvious crying, coupled with the smile as if he were just saved made Xiaolang inadvertently frown.

𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺. His fists tightened furiously.

He walked towards the boy and sat next to him on the bed. Without any awkwardness, he lifted the boy's head by his chin with one hand, and pushed the hair from the boy's face with his other.

"Rai..." he whispered full of concern. "What's wrong?"

The tenderness in his voice was like a missing key finally found. It immediately unlocked something in the child who was already trying so hard to hold everything back.

It was at that moment the strong facade Rai had held up finally broke down as he latched onto the person in front of him and starting balling his eyes outs.

"B-Big Brother Lang..." Rai voiced in between heavy sobs.

He cried and cried, continuing to dampen Xiaolang's shirt but he couldn't stop. His body trembled from the emotion gushing out of his soul.

Rai didn't want to show such a pathetic state, but at this moment, he needed an anchor to keep himself grounded. The big brother that had appeared without knocking in his dark world was that anchor.

"Rai..." Xiaolang tried to pat his back, but was shocked at how badly the small body was shaking on him. He felt furious at whoever made his brother this way.

When grandmama was still alive, it was her child that made her suffer. By the time they had met, it was too late for him to help her. However, he realized that with his immaturity at the time, it would have taken a while for him to understand before he could do anything anyway. It was due to her dying that gave him the revelation he needed.

This time, it was the child that was suffering from the parent. Although it was slightly different, at least he was there before it got any worse and his own heart was in the right place. This time surely...

"Rai..." when he pat the boy's back, the grip on his body became tighter, as if the boy was afraid his anchor would back away. The vulnerable action pained Xiaolang's heart, and he inadvertently hugged the boy closer.

"D-Don't go..." the broken voice sounded muffled against his chest.

Xiaolang wished he could do more to appease him but with this identity, his options were limited. He rubbed his little brother's head and whispered quietly, "It's okay Rai... I will protect you."

....