The Tragedy of 0.14 (Part 3)

Just past nine o'clock p.m.

I was alone in Kunagisa's room, viewing the digital camera data on the one PC that looked like even I could (just barely) operate it. It had no mouse, making it difficult to control, but it wasn't completely over my head.

Kanami-san's corpse. A shot from the chest up as well as a full-body shot. A shot of the severed neck and a shot of the river of paint. In the middle of the river floated a coat. The paint having dried and hardened, we couldn't remove it. I suppose we could have forced the coat out, but it was already ruined with paint, so there was no point.

And finally…

The picture I had modeled for - Kanami-san's final work.

That unnatural feeling I had felt when first seeing the canvas during our crime scene investigation had returned.

Disharmony.

It was alien.

It was all just a gut feeling, but…

"Ah, I get it," I muttered to myself.

Of course. Now that I saw it, it was so simple. The bigger mystery was why it had taken me so long to spot it. It was such an obvious picture flaw.

"Hmm…"

But this just raised further questions.

How could something like this happen? There was no reason something like this should happen. How could an artist of Kanami-san's caliber make such a simple error?

As I thought about it, somebody knocked on the door.

"Aw, come on."

It had to be Maki-san, here to harass me again. I rose from my seat, more delighted than ever. But when I opened the door, it was actually Hikari-san. Thrown into confusion by how far off my guess had been, I stared at her for two or three seconds with no brain functionality.

"Ah, hey, Hikari-san." Somehow I managed to string the words together. "Uh, please, come in."

"Sorry to bother you," she said politely and entered the room. She glanced around the room for a moment and then asked me, "Um, where might I find Kunagisa-san?"

"Oh, Kunagisa? I tied her up and tossed her in the tub just a minute ago."

"Huh?"

"She's like a cat. She hates taking baths. Her hair is actually supposed to be a much lighter blue, but she never washes it so it gets all dark like that. She's no good at escaping, and once she gets wet she just kind of gives up, so she could be in there for a while."

"Oh… Ohhh, so she's kind of like a Russian Blue, huh?"

Though Hikari-san wore an expression of dawned enlightenment, what she said didn't make any sense. Seriously, I didn't know what she was talking about. Better to just ignore it.

"Um, so anyway, if you need to talk to her, I'm sorry but you're probably going to have to wait a while." Then a thought occurred to me. Maybe this was a good opportunity. "Say, Hikari-san, are you free right now?"

"Hmm? Sure. I've finished all my work for the day, anyway."

"Then would you mind staying here for a while? It might be dangerous for me to leave Kunagisa alone," I said, recalling Maki-san's lecture this afternoon. "It should be fine now that we've made it hard for the killer to do anything, but, just in case. Do you mind?"

"No, it's okay. I guess," she said, though she wore a troubled expression. "Of course I don't mind, but is it really okay? I mean… To trust me?"

"No one would attack both of you at the same time."

"No, I mean, you don't think you're leaving her vulnerable?"

Oh, that.

"It's okay," I nodded. "Unlike Maki-san, I trust you."

With that, I shut the door and headed down the hall, then descended the stairs to the first floor.

"'I trust you'?" I muttered, mocking myself.

Since when was I the type to make such grandiose claims?

Didn't sound like me.

Question.

What is trust?

Answer.

Not minding if you're betrayed.

Not regretting if you're betrayed.

"Either way, it doesn't mean much of anything, does it?"

I arrived at my destination, once my own room, now Sonoyama Akane's prison.

"It's me," I said, knocking lightly.

"Oh, you" came her reply after a moment. She sounded surprisingly calm. "What's up? Should you be away from Kunagisa-chan? It doesn't seem like you."

"Well, I had my own hesitations, but… I wanted to apologize to you."

"Why should you apologize?" came her reply from the other side of the door, slightly laced with crankiness. "Weren't you the one who stood up for me? Coming here and apologizing is like saying I'm too much of a thickheaded imbecile to even understand that. If anything, I should be thanking you. I should've suggested this in the first place, but that probably wouldn't have gone over so well, so I was thankful when you brought it up. I should express my gratitude right now." She paused for a moment. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She hadn't risen to the ranks of the Seven Fools for nothin'. That wasn't the kind of forgiving place where you could get by with just a little studying and a sharp wit.

"By the way, when Hikari-san brought my dinner, she mentioned you guys have been snooping around a bit. You and Kunagisa-chan. Mind if I ask about your findings?"

"Well, I still don't know who the killer is."

"You still don't know, huh? Heh, should I be reading into that? Heh heh, I like your style. Okay, sure. Let me ask a different question. Got any theories on that river of paint?"

"Hm, how about you?"

"I think it's a case of the post hoc fallacy."

"Is that English?"

"Latin. I think it's sort of like 'you reap what you sow.'"

Ah.

I sighed.

In that case, she must have already figured out the secret of the river of paint. She had already figured out the mystery, and now she was just staying here to preserve this "antagonistic atmosphere" we had created for the killer. She was really an amazing woman, I thought.

"Hehehe," she laughed. "It's probably best that I stay in here until Iria-san's lover boy 'Aikawa-san' gets here, huh? It's no real problem for me, anyway. I used to lock myself in my room and read all the time when I was a kid. And that room was way smaller than this."

"Do you know who the killer is?"

"No, I don't. That's no lie, seriously. That kind of thing isn't my specialty, and although I do read the occasional mystery novel, it's only for recreation. Say, do you ever read Mushanokoji?"

The subject had changed without so much as a segue. Was Mushanokoji even a mystery novel author? "I've read the anthology, at least," I answered with a slightly confused look on my face.

"Then you must know the story 'Sensei of Truth.'"

I did know that much.

"When I first read it, I thought the title was 'Mari-sensei' and that it was about a horribly brash woman. Not that I can talk. But do you remember in the opening of the story, when Shinri-sensei refers to the 'reason killing isn't okay'?"

"Yeah, he's like, 'Is there ever a time when you wouldn't mind being killed? If you can think of a condition under which you wouldn't mind being killed, please let me know. If you don't like the thought of being killed under any circumstance, then you have no right to kill another,' right?"

Even with a memory as bad as mine, this much had stuck with me.

"Correct," Akane-san said. "Now let me ask you the same question. Under what condition would you feel it's okay to be killed?"

"There isn't one."

"But what if, for example, you had to choose between your life or Kunagisa-chan's?"

"I don't want to think about it."

"Right?" She laughed lightheartedly. "After all, you're the type who hates making decisions, right? You dislike the act of deciding in and of itself. Yesterday, Himena-san was saying the same thing about you, and I think she nailed it. You just go with the flow. You hate competition, and you hate making things clear-cut. You have to keep things ambiguous."

"I won't argue with that."

"You won't argue but you won't agree. You accepted my shogi challenge because you knew you would definitely lose, isn't that right? You wouldn't accept a challenge or compete otherwise."

I didn't hate losing, I hated competition. I was thoroughly put off by the idea of vying with others over something. I hated fighting as well and thus never made friends.

"Do you dislike other people?"

"Not particularly."

"But do you like them?"

"Not necessarily."

"That's right. The foundation of your values rests on the idea that people are meant to live solitary lives. That's your opinion, yes? Or no, rather that's your will. That's the absolute principle around which you're constructed. You try your best not to get involved and not to cause trouble or pain for anyone. Of course, you can share happiness and good times with others, but you don't get close to the point that you might cause pain or sadness, isn't that right?"

I always thought couples who spend all their time fighting and stay together, all the same, were just idiotic. Why don't they get along? Couldn't they just do that much?

Why couldn't they?

"Since when were you such a psychologist, Akane-san?"

"Sorry, but I'm a scholar of any and all subjects. Such categorization is meaningless to me. Hehehe. You really, truly enjoy being alone, don't you?"

"Well, after all. I'm my oldest friend."

"True enough. That's the case for everyone. So how about Kunagisa-chan? Altogether, you've spent less than a year with her, right?"

"..."

"Do you like her?"

It was a straight question.

I had been asked the same one several years ago. That time it was her older brother who asked.

However, the answer remained the same.

"Not especially, no." My voice came out so despairingly cold that I almost wondered if it was really mine.

Why?

Why was I being like this?

"Hmm, is that so?" She sounded a little surprised. "Because she likes you, you know. That much is certain."

"Yeah, I know. She's told me more than a few times."

"I don't particularly like this kind of discussion, but, have you ever wondered why, even though the world is full of couples like this, somehow so many people are still getting together? I mean, isn't it strange? It would be too convenient for the person you like to ever like you back. Life isn't a shojo manga. But sure enough, in reality, you take a group of a hundred people, a whole lot of them are going to find love. Why do you think that is?"

"I have no idea. I've never thought about it. Isn't it just a coincidence? Like the Law of Great Numbers or something?"

"I don't think so. A coincidence like that is unfeasible. This is the conclusion I've reached: it's because it feels good to be loved. Being loved by another person is enough to make you happy and make you love that person in return," she said assertively. I could see her clever little smile even through the door. This was becoming more than I could bear much longer. I felt like I was about to be crushed to death.

"So what are you getting at?"

"Oh, no, no… I was just wondering why you hadn't fallen for Kunagisa-chan, and you know how it is for us scholars. If we can't figure something out, it'll bother us to no end."

"She likes everyone. Seriously, everyone. It's not like she wants me in particular," I blurted out.

"So that's it," Akane-san said. "You don't want to be loved by her. You want to be chosen by her. As her one and only."

I…

Couldn't argue with that.

"Hmm, but why her? That's what I can't figure out. It seems like there must be some obvious reason, but I don't get it. If you two were a couple, there would certainly be some clashing factors, right? In fact, one would think you would be unattracted to someone so easily."

Easy?

Who?

"You mean easygoing?" I asked.

"Right. Anyway, theoretically, someone with a personality like yours wouldn't be able to endure a relationship with a girl like that - emotionally immature despite being in a superior position. Plus, you're a man."

"It's fun being with her. Or well…" I chose my words carefully. "Rather, it's fun being by her side."

My favorite place in the world was by her side. I had returned to Japan for that very reason.

"Mmm-hmm," Akane-san said. "You're a little masochistic, aren't you?"

"Yeah, to the bone. I got bullied in elementary school, you see."

"You were bullied? No, I think this is different. I think you were neglected. There's a difference between abuse and neglect. It's the weak kids and the liars who get abused. The outcasts just get neglected. But I know how you feel. When I was in high school, I felt like I was surrounded by aliens. When we took tests, nobody shot for a perfect grade, they shot for the average. If we ran a marathon, they would say 'Hey, let's all run together!' They were a bunch of egalitarians, for better or worse. They would tell you pi equals three. Indeed, each of the other Seven Fools claims to have experienced similar feelings. It's the tragedy of 0.14. In a world of egalitarians, the outliers get to taste true isolation. Genius is born of it. But not all outcasts are geniuses."

"You mean it's a condition of being a genius, not a guarantor, huh? Well, I sure am no genius."

"Maybe not, but I think you at least know the difference between advice and order, so let me give you some friendly advice: if you want Kunagisa-chan to choose you, I recommend you just take her. If you do that, you'll be the only one for her. She won't resist, that much is for sure. Regardless of how introverted, dark, disturbed, and deprived of an adolescent you maybe, I'm sure you at least have the balls to do that."

"I don't."

"You're a real mallard, huh?"

A what?

"I may lack confidence, but you think I'm a coward?"

At least I wasn't a Chii-kun.

"Oh, I'm sorry." she said.

"..."

"Hehehehe, I like you, y'know? It's too bad you aren't a woman."

Why was that?

I didn't know what she was trying to say anymore. No, that's wrong. It was simply becoming too painful to keep myself together any longer.

If this went on any longer, any longer at all…

"Well, it's okay. I'm sure everything will become clear soon enough. Time always gives things some clarity. Say, by the way, have you ever heard the theory that in zero-sum games like shogi and chess there's always one perfect move to make?"

"Is this like the Prisoners' Dilemma?"

"Yeah, that. The movement of the shogi pieces is mathematically limited, so there is always one perfect move to make. Thus, it's technically possible to decide the match in the very first move. Of course, this assumes that both opponents are perfect players. So how about the killer in our case? How will this Aikawa-san respond, I wonder? Isn't it a fascinating notion? Still, this mystery feels more like a labyrinth than a shogi board."

"A labyrinth? But labyrinths are simple. If you just stick your hand on one wall, you'll eventually find the way out. It just takes time."

"You're talking about a simple maze. I think this case is more like a multiconnected labyrinth. Still, there's a surefire strategy for this kind of labyrinth as well, but it's kind of hard to explain. If you have a chance, try looking it up. But don't you ever want to play a game with no surefire strategy?"

A game with no sure strategy.

No sure win…

Huh.

What if this case was like that?

Anxiety.

Like standing on shaky legs.

I felt sick.

"If you think about it," she continued. This sickening conversation. Even though it was sickening.

"Um, Akane-san?" I said, at last unable to contain myself. "I'd like to keep talking like this, but I've left someone waiting in my room." I forced the words together into a sentence. I fought the urge to throw up. "I think I'd better get back."

"Oh, okay. Sorry about that," she replied.

It must have been a bit of a letdown.

"Anyway, please come again. You sure help pass the time."

"Thanks. Well, see you later."

With that, I began to leave, but there was something that still bothered me. I knocked once again.

"Um, about your original question…"

"Hmm? What's up?"

"Do you have one? An instance where you wouldn't mind being killed?"

"An instance? Not an instance — always." It was a clear answer. "I'll die when my time is up. Regardless of where or how I die, or who kills me for what reasons, you won't hear a complaint out of me."

And with that I returned to Kunagisa's room, never thinking for a second that this would be my final interaction with Sonoyama Akane, that genius of geniuses of the highest order, of the Seven Fools, of the comprehensive research center ER3…