Chapter 6: Sweet Emotion 1/2

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, Jojo's is the property of Hirohiko Araki, and both are published by Shueisha.

Uzumaki Naruto smirked as he looked through the peephole in the hot springs fence. It took a few months for him to secretly carve a view into the women's bath, but the blonde considered every close call to be worth it when it came to his research.

'Just a bit more before the academy...I gotta surprise Iruka with this new jutsu before graduation,' the boy thought as a perverted grin spread across his face. 'All this time spent watching, I just know I'll have perfected the image in my head...hopefully Hime won't be too mad if she finds out.'

Despite continuously convincing himself that everything he did was for the sake of research, the blonde couldn't stop his mind from conjuring all sorts of images for him. The blonde would freely admit he had gained an immense "appreciation" of the female form, enough so that he had trained himself to block the intense nosebleeds he had gotten in the first month.

"Hehe...nice," Naruto whispered lustily at the sight of several busty women disrobing and entering the bath. "Verrryyyy Niiiccceeee!"

"Ahem!"

The blonde froze up at the voice behind him, and turned around slowly. He was greeted to the sight of over a dozen kunoichi standing behind him, arms folded and faces twisted into cold fury. Naruto jumped back and held up his hands defensively.

"Hang on a second, I know how this looks...but I was just getting research for a jutsu!" the blonde shrunk at the cold gazes of the women. "Can't I get some slack?!"

One woman tilted her head towards the others with a sneer. "We should really take care of this, otherwise we'll get another Jiraiya in the village."

The blonde paled as the other women gave their apparent leader affirmative grunts and made to pull out their weapons. Naruto decided to do the only thing he thought would work.

He pointed to a space behind them as his expression morphed into one of shock and horror. "Oh Kami, what the hell is that?!"

Naruto didn't even wait to see if they took the bait, he made to escape immediately after he dropped his ploy. When he turned his head, he cried in terror at the sight of dozens of women chasing him down with multiple weapons aiming towards his lower parts.

When the blonde disappeared around a nearby corner, the lead kunoichi surveyed the nearby area.

"Search behind everything! Trash cans, fences, balconies! He couldn't have gotten far."

"Hey, over there!" one of the women cried out. Fleeing nearby was the blonde, more than visible due to his orange jumpsuit.

"After him!"

After the women ran off in pursuit of the blonde, the real Naruto dropped the fence colored tarp he hid behind not too far away. Rather than letting out a giggle like he would at pulling a fast one over normal ninja, the blonde let out a terrified wheeze instead.

"Damn, that was close...if those girls had gotten to me I really would be the last Uzumaki," the boy panted for a few more seconds before straightening himself. "Alright, I should have enough time to get to the academy, just need to deflect Iruka if he asks where I was and what I was doing or else-"

"Naruto!" a stern voice sounded out from behind him. The blonde turned himself slowly towards the speaker, flinching when he saw who it was. His (arguably) best friend, Joushuya Joushirou, stared down at the blonde with his eyes shadowed by his weird hat that seemed to be a part of his hair. The calculating blue orbs held cat-like pupils which were narrowed at the blonde in particular.

"What were you doing?" the taller boy asked flatly.

"...I was peeping again?" the blonde said, phrasing it more as a question than a statement. "I know I said I'd stop, but it's for an important jutsu!"

"Becoming a shameless pervert is worth it for your new jutsu?"

"Don't act like a saint Jojo!" the blonde growled. "You're just as much of a perv as I am, how do you get to take the high ground on this?"

"Because I'm a classy pervert," the bluenette formed himself into a pose, holding his hands parallel to one another while turning his head to the side, still sending the blonde a flat look. "A chivalrous pervert, if you will. I don't peep on women in the bath without their permission, I don't read trashy porn-"

"Icha Icha isn't trash dammit!" the blonde hissed, only to freeze when he noticed something. "Ah, Jojo maybe-"

"I don't read trashy porn," the posing boy cut in, still glaring at the blonde.

"Jojo-"

"And I don't try to sneak a peek at every pair of breasts I see" the boy said finally.

"That's nice and all Jojo," Naruto said nervously, still staring at the space behind his friend. "But maybe we should get going, seeing as we might be late for school-"

The taller boy crossed his legs and folded his right arm beneath his left, while jabbing a thumb to the space behind him. "And now, your next line is "That's a nice speech gaki, but it won't earn you any points with us", go on!"

"That's a nice speech gaki," the leader of the group of angry women growled from behind the boy. "But it won't earn you any points with us!"

Joushirou's mouth formed into a small but sly grin as the woman stood there unmoving for several seconds.

"...HUH?!"

"That took longer than normal," the blonde said, watching the lady reel back in shock. "Now they're after both of us huh?"

The women responded by holding up their weapons, one crossbow user clearly aiming for just above the seat of the blonde's pants. Naruto whimpered at the crowd of kunoichi ready to ruin his bloodline.

"Naruto, relax," the taller boy said. "I have the perfect plan for this, one that never fails against the enemies of my bloodline, and I'll clue you in on it too."

"A plan?"

"Yes, a secret clan technique if you will," the bluenette gave his friend a cocky grin. "One that's been in my family for generations, and has almost never failed to defeat our enemies."

"Well what is it?!" the blonde asked, eyeing the angry women slowly approaching them.

"It involved the use of our legs," Joushirou said, patting a hand to his left leg to demonstrate.

"And what are you gonna do with your legs then?"

The tall boy didn't give naruto an immediate answer, instead opting to smile directly at the angry kunoichi that walked towards them menacingly. Then, the boy squatted and flexed every muscle in his lower body…

And made a 180 degree turn.

"NIGERUNDAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~"

Naruto grimaced as the boy began running off, while also noting the bewildered looks of the kunoichi gunning for them. Within the span of a second, the blonde took off running after his friend, looking back to make sure they weren't being followed.

"How did you even manage that? They didn't even follow us right away!"

"That's the secret of the secret technique Naruto!" the joestar cried out. "They were planning to take away my ability to reproduce, thus making them enemies of the bloodline. As long as a person is descended from my grandfather, the family secret technique will never fail to work it's magic against our enemies!"

"Ok, so now what's the plan?!"

"Well…" the tall boy trailed off. "Hopefully we can reach the academy just in time to have Iruka chew us out in first period instead of second."

"I can believe the two of you," Iruka growled down at us. "Being late isn't new for either of you, but spying on women in the hot springs?! I expected better of both of you, especially you Jojo!"

"Actually Iruka-sensei, I was the only one who was peeping on women," Naruto said, holding a hand up. "Jojo just snuck up on me while I was running and was gonna scold me for it. Only reason he didn't was because those kunoichi were threatening to end our bloodlines."

The scarred man gave the blonde a frown. "Please do tell me how you could justify peeping on girls in the hot springs?"

"It was for research," the blonde said nervously. I actually thought I saw Iruka shiver at that, the glare he sent the boy after was very piercing.

"What kind of research requires unclothed women?" the chūnin asked coldly.

"It was for a jutsu!"

"...You know what, I don't want to know," the scarred man's scowl deepened "Since you two are late, everybody has to review the Henge, even if they already passed!"

"What?!"

I let out a sigh as most of the other students cried in protest or sent us glares. "Yare Yare... alright fine, let's get it over with!"

"Perfect, why don't you go first Jojo?" Iruka said as everybody finished lining up.

Oh great, and now he's putting me on the spot like that…

"Yare Yare, fine," I stood in front of Iruka and formed my hands into the right seals. A thought popped into my head, and as much of a bad idea as it was, I couldn't resist the temptation.

"Henge!"

*POOF*

When I looked down from my transformation, I saw Iruka gaping at me in shock. Considering who I had henged into, it was understandable. I had taken the appearance of a man much taller than I currently was, with a far less bitchy face. Alongside this, my long coat had been swapped with a close-fitted tank top with thick shoulder pads like the pauldrons of an old knight.

"That is very impressive Joushirou…" Iruka trailed off, still looking up at me nervously. "You'll have to forgive me though, I've never seen this person in my entire life."

"I wouldn't think you have," I said in a soft and warm voice, surprising everybody. I released the transformation with a loud *poof* and a cloud of smoke, and dig into my pocket as the cloud dissipated.

"Here," I said, showing him the picture in my wallet. "The person I henged into was my Jiji, on my moms side. You can see him down there in an old photo, everything else I know was from my parents telling me stories using genjutsu."

Iruka scrutinized the photo for several seconds before sighing and handing the wallet back. "Alright, I didn't say you had to transform into me, so I can't give you flak. Go ahead and sit down, Sakura you're up next!"

I got to my seat just as Iruka finished his critique of Sakura's jutsu while the pinkette begged for the Uchiha's attention, same as ever. After Sasuke finished his, I sat up straight and braced myself for what was going to happen. Naruto walked forward with a stubborn look before a mischievous grin spread across his face.

"Henge!"

*POOF*

It was only through years of person training and wrestling control over my emotions that I was able to prevent a nosebleed at the sight of Naruto's female transformation. Iruka, and every other guy in class, were nowhere near as conditioned to such a thing as I was. The scarred man was the first one whose nose exploded into fountains of blood, launching him backwards. Every other male student in the class soon followed, with one or two girls also nasally gushing at the sight of the nude female form that had come into existence at the front of the room.

Naruto dispelled the transformation and cackled as the smoke dissipated. "Told you I was doing it for research! So what do you think of my Oiroke no Jutsu?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" the scarred man yelled, head expanded and eyes bugged out. "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A JUTSU LIKE THAT?!"

"Yare Yare Daze…" I muttered.

"Would you chill out, it was a joke!" the blonde cried out. "You never said I had to transform into you, just that I had to do the henge."

"Can't you just go back to defacing the monument like last year?!" Iruka yelled/pleaded. "At least when you were doing stuff like that I knew how to handle it!" the scarred chūnin whimpered before waving the blonde off. "Just go to your seat!"

Naruto giggled as he took his seat between Sasuke and myself. I could hear the Uchiha huffing angrily as he glanced at the blonde out of the corner of his eye.

"You really spent months spying on the bathhouse for that?"

"Hey, sometime in the future my sexy jutsu will probably be strong enough to take down a god or something."

...You know, I really hate the fact that it's true. It doesn't make it better that it is, it just makes it easier to not say something stupid that would then cause me to have to eat my words later. At least his technique doesn't involve dressing up as a woman and saying he has tequila.

"Hn...so tomorrow is graduation," Sasuke started. "What's the plan then? Are we gonna shoot for being on the same team."

"I doubt that'll happen," I said flatly. "Remember how I always get most of my techniques from spying on genin teams? I know for a fact that a team will consist of two shinobi, one kunoichi, and their jōnin sensei. There's no way the three of us can be on the same team."

"...Then that means," the Uchiha's face morphed into a pained grimace. "There's a chance that the kunoichi on my team will be one of my…" Sasuke trailed off with a look of mute horror on his face.

"Try to think about which fangirl you hate the least, and pray to whatever Kami will listen that they're going to be on your team."

"I just hope I'm on the same team as Hi-" Naruto cut himself off and went pale. "...Somebody who's really great, that's what I was going to say" the blonde looked away nervously, then flinched when his gaze caught something, causing him to look forward nervously again.

While Sasuke gave the blonde a baffled look, I followed where Naruto's gaze had gone as discreetly as I could. Sitting at the far back and staring at the blonde was Hinata, her bangs shadowing her face and a small pout on her lip. Evidently the girl hadn't forgotten the boy's display, and she planned to pay her secret boyfriend a...talk? Beating, that's the word I'm looking for, pay him a beating…

If I had known he would have become so whipped, maybe I wouldn't have nudged things along quicker...Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.

"I'm just hoping my sensei isn't a lazy bastard or something" I said blithely, knowing full well that the suckers sitting next to me would be the ones fated to get Kakashi.

"Do you think they'll cut us some slack today in class?" the blonde chittered nervously. "Y'know, graduation being tomorrow and all?"

I snorted at this. "Relax, just hold out until lunch like always. It's not like Iruka-sensei will go over something boring as hell, right?"

"Now then!" the man in question called out as the last no-name civilian student clambered into their seat. "I figured since today was the last day before graduation, we could go over the history and bloodlines of Konoha one last time."

"...This should be interesting," Shino said from his spot next to Sasuke after being silent for so long. "I can't wait to learn about all our clans again. How many times will it be now?"

"2,567 times if we count this time," Sasuke grumbled.

"Mine doesn't count, we barely have half a paragraph and it's marked in with the Senju clan's section," Naruto moaned.

This is somehow Kakyoin's fault, I just know it.

"Yare Yare Daze…"

Later

Just when it was time for lunch, and I was on my way to spend time with my friends, I had a little roadblock.

"Hey, Jojo!"

Said roadblock came in the form of a familiar silver-haired asshole. Tsu Mizuka waved me over just as I was about to enter the lunchroom with Naruto. I tried to ignore him, I really did, but the blonde gave me an incredulous look as the soon-to-be-traitorous chūnin called my name again. I must have looked really weird, because Naruto thought Mizuki was nice, and I never disrespected any of the nice teachers here.

"Tch, dammit," I turned to the silver-haired man with a restrained glare. "What do you want Mizuki-sensei?"

"I was hoping to talk to you about your grades," the chūnin said, glancing at the blonde nervously. "Alone, if you don't mind."

I definitely saw the flash of disgust in his eyes as he glanced at Naruto, I wasn't gonna pretend I couldn't see that. I guess I should just get this over with, huh?

"Yare Yare…" I turned to Naruto. "Go ahead and save my seat, I'll meet up with you in a bit."

The blonde nodded confusedly before walking off. Mizuki motioned for me to follow him into a nearby classroom, one that was thankfully empty. Once he was sure we were both alone, the silver-haired man turned to me with a bright smile.

Huh, there were all sorts of Orochimaru jokes I could make about this.

"So you've probably figured out that this isn't about your grades" Mizuki said sheepishly. "I actually wanted to ask you for a favor, one that'll really help Naruto-"

"Cut the crap Mizuki-teme!" I growled, sending a bit of killing intent towards him and letting the golden glow of my stand surround me. "I haven't bought the shit you were spewing since the first day you were here."

Mizuki's face turned into a vicious sneer. "You know, you could have at least pretended to like me Joushirou."

"Oh, like how you pretend that you don't hate my best friend?" I growled back. "You're doing a terrible job then, because anybody who isn't an idiot or blinded by some past connection would be able to see how much you hate him, hell I've stopped you from sabotaging him more times than I can count on both hands."

"So it was you?!" the silver-haired man snarled. "What is he to you anyway? You've had to have noticed how every sane person looks at him, why do you still stick with him?"

It was seriously taking everything in me not to Cioccolata this guy right then and there. "It's none of your damn business Teme, I don't need to justify my life to assholes like you!" with that I began to walk off.

"You really don't get it huh?" Mizuki jeered from behind me. "If he ends up graduating tomorrow, then you'll see! You'll see just what that thing is really like, you can count on it Jojo! You'll know he's a monster then!"

"He's a monster like I'm possessed by an evil spirit!" I growled over my shoulder. "Your bullshit isn't gonna fool anybody."

The next day

"To graduate, you'll have perform the three essential academy jutsu as a final exam," Iruka announced to the class while going over his clipboard. "The last of these will be the Bunshin. When your name is called, make your way to the testing room."

"This is gonna suck!" Naruto whined beside me. "Even after everything, that's still my worst technique."

"Would you calm down," Sasuke hissed. "Just do what I suggested and make a bunch of clones instead of trying to make a few, it'll work out."

"First up...Joushuya Joushirou!"

...Well shit!

"Yare Yare...alright, let's get this over with," I grumbled, following Iruka out of the class and straight to the exam room.

Low and behold, Mizuki-teme was already there waiting for us, sitting at a table covered in over a hundred shiny new hitai-ate. The silver-haired man sneered at me as Iruka walked past him, then settled into a neutral expression as the scarred man arranged his clipboard.

"Alright, start off with the Henge," Iruka said. "Transform into somebody we'd both be familiar with, if you don't mind."

I formed my hand into the correct seals and molded cakra around my form. With a loud *poof* and a puff of smoke, I transformed, causing both of the chūnin to blanch and gag.

"Did you have to transform into Might Guy?" Mizuki asked with a scrunched up face.

"You should have been more specific," I said flatly as I dispelled the transformation.

"If I knew you'd do that, I'd have let you henge into your grandpa," Iruka marked something on his clipboard before looking over to the side of the room. "Do you see that mannequin over there Jojo?"

I looked to my right to see that yes, there was in fact a mannequin at the far right of the room. "Huh, why the hell is that thing ther-"

*POOF*

It was only through sheer reflex that I used the Kawarimi in time. Just a second after the mannequin materialized where I formerly stood, the ball Iruka threw impacted on it hard. The scarred chūnin chuckled as he marked that down.

"Kawarimi is a pass...alright then, you know what to do Jojo," Iruka gave me a pointed glance. "Perform the Bunshin, and if you manage to make at least three perfect clones, you pass."

I huffed lowly before forming my hands into the least complicated set of seals for the Bunshin, all while willing the chakra I needed to (hopefully) perfect them. "Bunshin no Jutsu!"

*POOF*

Oh sweet stand-using Jesus, I was really worried there for a second. Instead of three ghost mes, a trio of perfectly solid looking clones of myself surrounded me.

"Perfect!" Iruka cried out, grabbing one of the headbands as he sat up. "Congratulations on becoming a shinobi of Konoha Joushirou! Here's your-"

"Would I be able to get the plate attached to something else?" I asked quickly.

The scarred chūnin tilted his head confusedly for a few seconds. "You could if you went to the front desk...but you'd need something to nail it to."

"How bout this?" I said, pulling off my cap and pointing to the blank space at the front, a space that was just perfect for the metal plate of the hitai-ate.

"WAIT WHAT?!" Iruka cried out, looking at my cap like the secrets of the universe had just presented themselves. "You mean that's not a part of your hair?!"

I stared at him mutely for several seconds before sighing. "Yare Yare Daze…"

"One step closer…" ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ

"Uchiha-san?"

"One...step...closer!" ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ

"Uchiha-san, what are you-"

"One step closer!" ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ

"Sasuke!" Shino cried out rather uncharacteristically, startling the Uchiha. "Are you ok? It was like you were in a trance."

"What was I saying?"

"You kept saying "one step closer" for some reason."

"Yesssssss," Sasuke hissed menacingly as he looked at his own reflection in his hitai-ate. "One step closer…" ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ

"...To what?" I asked flatly.

"Revenge…" the Uchiha growled lowly. ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ

"I think we're gonna stop by Ichiraku's before heading home," I said as a tiny bead of sweat trailed down the side of my head.

"Ramen...yes, ramen is good," Sasuke said dumbly. "Ramen first...then revenge…"

Please, let something happen that distracts Sasuke from his revenge on his brother. I'll take a servant of DIO showing up to try and kill me if it gets him to zip his mouth over this.

"Hey guys!"

Oh thank fuck, Naruto's gonna put a stop to it like always...wait, Naruto? Cheerfully running up to us with a genuinely happy smile on his face? Wearing a (albeit slightly scratched up) headband?

...Success?

"So you passed?" Shino asked the boy. "Did they run out of headbands? Yours looks rather...unkempt."

"It's Iruka-sensei's! He gave it to me to congratulate me" the blonde held the headband up cheerfully. "Isn't this great?! Now I'm one step closer to becoming Hokage!"

"...One step closer," Sasuke growled menacingly.

"Huh? What are you one step closer to Sasuke?"

"Revenge…" ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ

Naruto tilted his head confusedly. "What ramen flavor is that?"

Please be stumped by the stupid statement Sasuke. You can't possibly make a proper response to-

"Revenge...is revenge flavored!" the Uchiha hissed, a mad grin spreading across his face.

"...Yare Yare Daze," I moaned. "Can we just start heading to Ichiraku's now? I can only deal with so much of...this, at once."

"Actually, you guys can go on ahead," the blonde said sheepishly. "I've got to meet up with somebody-"

"Your secret girlfriend?" I asked.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!"

"You just told me," I said flatly, literally flooring the blonde.

"Do hope that nobody else heard that," Shino said while discreetly looking around. "That information would be dangerous in the wrong hands."

"We're standing by this huge tree, far away from anybody," I said as I motioned to said tree. "I doubt anybody heard us…I guess we'll see you tomorrow huh?"

"But we don't get our teams until the end of the week."

"What does that have to do with anything," I turned to the blonde owlishly. "We can still train, eat ramen...train some more…" I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. "Wait, is training the only thing I know how to do aside from eating ramen with you guys?"

"I think that's about it," Sasuke said.

"Yare Yare...whatever," I grumbled, turning around. "We'll see you around Naruto...have fun with your special lady friend" my face cracked into a grin at the blonde's indignant squawk at my playful jab.

That night

I was hungry…