Chapter 9: Sweet Dreams 1 1/3

I'm not dead, promise! This is the first big 'Arc' of the fic, and Arcs are always at least a few episodes/chapters long, so this too some time. I'll put out another chapter in the other two while I'm on break for this before getting started on the second part. Please enjoy, and I'll address all the reviews down at the bottom. As a sidenote, you all made this the most favorited and followed Jojo/Naruto Xover, which is really surprising for me. Thank you all so muck X3.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, Jojo's is the property of Hirohiko Araki, and both are published by Shueisha.

Demonic red eyes opened wide as their owner sat up in his bed. As he lifted himself from his daytime slumber, he vaguely noticed one of the whores his minions had brought him earlier that morning. The man stared at her coldly as he stretched, duly noting the quarter-sized holes in her neck the still oozed the last remnants of her lifeblood.

He simply hummed to himself as he turned away from his finished meal and looked to the window. As he shivered slightly, he opted to walk over and open the curtains, miming a deep breath as his half-naked form was bathed in the light of the full moon. The light exposed his excessive musculature, his translucent skin that seemed to shimmer with brightness, and his thick blonde hair that went down to his back.

"This feeling…"

(Play: Stardust Crusaders OST [Departure]: Dark Rebirth)

The blonde-haired man clutched his body, as though it were his own loved one.

"This sensation that is running through me...you can sense him, can't you, Jojo?" blood-red eyes stared backwards as the man clutched the back of his shoulder. "His existence...it calls out to you, to which you call back. Your grandson is alive, despite everything I put him through."

The blonde let out a satisfied huff before moving again. With his immaculate sight, his demonic eyes spotted every meticulous detail in the darkness, seeing all as though the night had been the day. The man tilted his head as he moved through the corridor that led to his study, every step taken repelling both the light of the world and the darkness itself.

When he reached his study, the man smirked as he slowly dragged his pointed nails across the fine wooden table within. In a truly seductive manner, his fingers danced across several curiosities and gently moved precious books, before he finally found the object he sought. Slowly, the blonde-haired man pulled a self-developing camera from his desk.

"So you survived after all, Little Jōshirō?" he smirked as purple vines emerged from his arm, dark energy dancing around them.

The man's hand darted towards the camera, making a quick strike on it alongside the vines. Immediately, the device came alive and churned out a slowly developing picture. He grabbed it and waved it around for a few seconds.

"Show yourself to me, Little Joushirou," the blonde stared down as the photo began to show an image. "Perfect, this will be quite helpful."

The image that the vine-like Stand had taken was of a small building with a large chimney that billowed with visible amounts of smoke. From what he could see, there was an assortment of chairs inside the building all laid in front of a long counter. While a few people sat within the building, they were hidden behind the massive lantern and paper banners hanging over the entrance.

"An interesting clue, don't you think, Jojo?" the blonde's mouth twisted into a fang filled smirk as he clutched his body once again. "Your grandson is so close...yet so far away...finding out what this means will be taxing."

His hand moved to the back of his left shoulder, his fingers lightly massaging the scar around his neck, before it smoothly lowered to caress the star-shaped birthmark just below his shoulder blade.

"Don't fret, my dear Jonathan...you'll be reunited with him soon…"

"Alright, time to dig in!"

A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips as Naruto began slurping his first bowl of ramen at supersonic speeds. Beside me, I heard Iruka snorting in amusement at the blonde's eating habits.

"Please try to take it slow today, Naruto. My wallet can only take so much," the scarred chūnin moaned.

"Fahts ba shing! Yu don neeb to pay shish tim-"

"Chew with your mouth closed, please," I chided gently.

Naruto swallowed the stream of noodles before turning to us with a sheepish grin. "Hehe, sorry...right, as I was saying, I'm gonna be paying this time around. I got more than enough money from all the D-rank missions we've been doing."

"Oh, so you're saying we can buy as much as we want?" I asked teasingly.

"Woah, hold up! You can't break my wallet either!"

"Alright, alright! I'm just playin' around…"

"So...you've been doing D-ranks with Team 8, right?" the blonde asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah, just basic stuff. Pulling weeds, find missing pets...help repair roofs damaged by the typhoon last month," I shrugged. "Nothing too big, to be honest. In fact, Hinata usually commits herself more to the babysitting missions. She seems pretty good with kids."

"Yeah, I could imagine…" Naruto's dreamy expression fell as he tried to deflect. "S-So, what about you and Kiba?"

"Oh, we're...getting along better…"

"Doesn't he hate you?"

"Naruto, hate is a strong word…" Iruka cupped a hand to his chin in thought. "But yeah, doesn't he uh...you know?"

"Well…"

Several weeks prior

"Fucking asshole! Graaah!"

The dog-nin attempted to kick my legs out from beneath me with a loud roar. Clawed hands slashed at me as I attempted to jump away.

"Fucking showing me up every damn day, making me look stupid! Being a cheating bastard! You're done!"

"Zoom punch!" I yelled, slamming my fist straight into Kiba's face. "You honestly think I wanted to make you look bad? I never even talked to you until we had our first sparring match! I just wanted to graduate!"

"I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS!" the Inuzuka leapt into the air, his dog companion following him. They both began rotating in midair. "Gatsūga!"

"Screw it!" I cried out, leaping towards them and spinning around in response. As I pointed my leg at the two, I willed the ripple into my lower body. "TORNADO OVERDRIVE!"

Present day

"W-We worked it out eventually…" I said lowly.

"Really? It didn't go too far, did it? Anko-chan would've put a stop to it-"

"Iruka-sensei...she was laughing her ass off and wishing she had a camera," I grumbled. "Seriously, why her?"

"You'd need to be in love to understand, Jojo…" the chūnin said dreamily. "One of these days, you'll meet a nice girl who you'll fall madly in love with."

"Yare Yare, girls are so annoying…"

I heard a snort from Teuchi as he walked over to us. "Don't let Ayame hear you say anything like that, you'll never hear the end of it."

"Yeah, Ayame-nee will bust your balls over it," Naruto chuckled as he continued slurping on his ramen. "Man, your noodles are just the best, Teuchi-jiji. I always feel invigorated whenever I come here, I really feel like leaving a tip."

"Naruto, you don't need to worry about leaving a-"

"Actually, I think I have a good idea as to why your ramen is so good," I said blithely. "But before I say it, would you mind giving me some advice on this?"

"ORA!"

Star Platinum quickly erupted from my being and slammed his fists together, before leaning towards the chef. Unfortunately, I had done this just as Ayame walked out of the kitchen with several supplies and vegetables.

"E-Eeep!"

"Shit! Sorry about that, Ayame-chan," I said gently as my Stand caught the boxes she was carrying. "I just didn't know how to bring this up without being subtle."

"Bring what up? You can't just show off your Stand, can you?" Iruka asked nervously.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Teuchi laughing quietly. The old man doubled over for a few moments in his silent fit, before standing up and wiping his eyes clear. As he turned to me, a bright smile stretched across his face.

"That...that explains so much. Really, I should have realized it sooner," Teuchi let out a small belly laugh as he shook his head. "I sensed it the first time around, but I just didn't get it. You probably did too, huh?"

"W-What are you going on about Ji-san?!" Naruto asked confusedly.

Ayame let out a short moan and hung her head. "Oh no...he's gonna bring that out…"

"Bring what out?" Iruka asked slowly.

"Pāru Jamu!"

At Teuchi's cry, three small bluish creatures shaped like vegetables emerged from his being, letting out small cries of 'Meshaa' or similar vocalizations. On the counter, I could see our ramen glowing with energy as some more blue onion beings peeked their heads out from behind them. Several of the creatures floated towards Star Platinum with curious expressions.

"A-Ahhh! W-What are those?!" Naruto cried out.

"Tou-san's Stand," Ayame said simply.

"Stand?! Teuchi is...a Stand User?" the blonde turned to me in shock. "Wait, how did you know?!"

"Anko-sensei told me."

"Anko-chan? How did Anko know?" Iruka asked.

"The Hokage told her," I said blithely.

Teuchi let out a small sigh. "I really wish he would have refrained from doing that. I understand it's for your benefit, but still…"

"And you know about Stands?!" Naruto asked Ayame.

"Yeah, I've been living with one my whole life...I think I might get one of my own, but still…"

"Wait...have you been feeding us your Stand?" the scarred chūnin asked.

"Well, in a sense...yes, I suppose," Teuchi held his hands up defensively. "I haven't been doing anything nefarious, I assure you. Pearl Jam can improve the quality of food and infuse it with healing properties."

"Healing properties? What does that mean?!" the blonde cried out.

"He can improve the nutritional quality of food, and it can heal any illnesses or ailments," Ayame said offhandedly. "He's been using it on me ever since I was a baby. Since mom died after I was born, he'd use his Stand to improve my baby formula."

"And what about me?!"

"Well, you'd be all skin and bones if I hadn't stepped in, Stand or no Stand. But Pearl Jam certainly helped you get the right balance," the chef then gently poked the boy in the head. "Not to mention how many times I've saved your life."

"W-What does that mean?"

"Yes, I'd like to know what you're implying as well," Iruka said sternly.

"Do you know how many times you've been poisoned, Naruto?" Teuchi's expression turned grim as the blonde squirmed in place. "I assure you, it's been more times than I can count on both hands. I think Jojo actually caught plenty of attempts himself before they could get to you."

"I have...but I guess I couldn't be there for all of them, huh?" I scratched the back of my head as Naruto stared at us in shock. "I get it, this is just insane to think about-"

"Don't even get me started on you, Joushirou!" the chef rounded on me with a stern gaze. "How do you even have a heart condition at your age?!"

I stared at the man blankly while gently slurping on my noodles. "So, those times when I coughed up all that blood and gunk...that was your Stand then?" I hummed thoughtfully at his slow nod. "Yeah, that'd be my Stand ability. It damages my heart whenever I use it."

Teuchi held his hands up like he wanted to strangle me. "Then stop using it! Why would you keep using it if it damages your heart?!"

"Yeah, I don't really understand either, actually…" Naruto said nervously. "What does Star Platinum even do?"

"My Stand's ability is a big secret...like, 'change the entire elemental nations' big. I don't plan to show it off until the Chūnin Exams."

"I-It can't be that bad, right?" Iruka said nervously. Then he quickly leaned towards me. "You can skip time, right?!"

I felt my heart skip a beat in fear at this. "Eh? What are you talking about?"

He's almost got it. I have to deflect quickly!

"You can see into the future for 10 seconds and skip everything if you don't like what you see, is that it?! Please tell me it's time skipping! I need that 5000 Ryō-"

"Did...did you and Anko take bets on my Stand ability?"

"What?! No, no, no...Kakashi and Hokage-sama got in on it too."

"Oh Kami...look, just leave it be, alright! My strengths and weaknesses are out there for everybody to see," I turned back to my noodles with a short huff. "It's their job to figure them out, not for me to tell them."

"Well, that...takes the fun out of it," Naruto chided nervously.

"It's not supposed to be fun…"

"If you say so," the blonde turned back to Teuchi with an awed gaze. "I still can't believe it though...all these years and I never knew about it."

"It wasn't too much trouble, really-"

"No! You practically saved my life, you and Ayame-chan were the only people who treated me like a person back then," Naruto stood up and bowed to the chef. "Thank you...really, thank you for everything…"

"It wasn't any trouble for me, really…" Teuchi sent the blonde a kind smile. "I just like making good food, that's all."

As Teuchi set new bowls for us, I couldn't help but think about what was happening. Teuchi was a Stand User, with a familiar Stand. How many more cases like that would show up? And how many more Stand Users were going to come out of the woodwork to come after us.

"Is something wrong, Joushirou?" the chef asked.

"...Yeah, you said you sensed me the first time around, right?" a lump formed in my throat at the man's slow nod. "Did you ever hear that old adage about us?"

"Gravity...all Stand Users are drawn to one another, and they're fated to meet," Teuchi hummed thoughtfully. "I wouldn't say that's the case, considering you're only the second one I've met."

"Well, you're the third for me," I said grimly. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Iruka shuffling away from me nervously. A harsh chuckle escaped my mouth as I closed my eyes. "You know what they say about that, right? Two is a coincidence...but three…"

"What, you think more Stand Users are gonna show up?" Naruto asked.

"I don't think it's gonna happen...I know it's gonna happen…"

Training ground 8

"The hell took you so long, Gaki?!"

"Good to see you too, Sensei!" I said sarcastically. "I always enjoy our talks so much, and I feel so safe around you."

"Ha, ha, very funny. Come on, Kurenai wants me to help the mutt first," Anko leaned forward and made a few cursory sniffs. "You were at that ramen joint?"

"Yeah, your boyfriend was there...5000 Ryō? Really?!"

"Oh fuck! He told you about the bet?!"

"He let it slip by accident...and no, I don't skip time," I growled as I followed the woman through the woods.

"Yes! 5000 Ryō, here I come!"

"Yare Yare, you are all so annoying…" I muttered. "So what, Kiba's getting training first today?"

"Yeah, mostly just fixing his Taijutsu. He's good at his clan's style, but he's too set in the whole 'hit-and-run' portion of it, so he's not suited to long fights...huh, no wonder you're always kicking his ass," she craned her neck to look at me, a wry grin spreading across her face. "So how's that wizard style thing coming along?"

"Sendo! And it's fine, I guess. You saw my last fight with Inuzuka, so you know I didn't totally flop or anything."

"Yeah, with the way Hamon works you can keep going for hours," Anko faced forward again as a contemplative look invaded her visage. "So, what do you think about the kunoichi?"

"Your friend is less annoying than you are-"

"Not Kurenai, gaki...Also, hurtful!"

"You still haven't paid me for the last window you broke," I deadpanned.

"That's not true, shut up!" the purple-haired Jōnin waved her hand at me in mock threat. "I was talking about the other one, the Hyūga. Blue hair, shy as hell and can't stop stuttering, always wears that big coat to hide her growing-"

"I think I get the picture," I said in annoyance. "Why are you asking me? It's your friend's job to train her, not mine."

"Eh, Kurenai's been going on and on about how she's struggling with her Clan's style and she can't get serious when in a fight, all that stuff."

"...Too flexible."

"Eh? What did you say?"

"She's too flexible," I clarified. "I haven't seen much of the Jūken, but from what I know the only elemental jutsu used with it for the most part are Raiton and Doton, which means the style is meant to be pretty rigid. That's why it wouldn't work for somebody who's really flexible, and the only person with that problem besides myself is Hinata."

"You're only so flexible because of CCPD."

"Doesn't change a thing. Sendo requires a lot of flexibility...huh," I leaned my hand against my cheek in contemplation. "Wonder if I could teach other people Hamon."

"How would you get them to do it? It's a Clan thing, right?"

"There could be a technique to pass it on, you don't know there isn't!"

I did know there was one, and I planned to give it to either Naruto or Sasuke. On one hand, Sasuke was always curious about it, and it might prevent Orochimaru's influence the same way it could remove Vampire and Zombie essence when it got into the body. On the other hand, Sasuke probably wouldn't appreciate being punched in the gut...Naruto it was.

Eventually, we found ourselves in a clearing with several scattered logs dotting one side. A few familiar people sat on them, though I spotted a prone form on the ground, a little white dog sitting next to them.

"Alright, we're here. Hey, Kurenai!"

Tired red eyes glanced at my Jōnin sensei as the dark-haired woman sat up. Across from her, I could see Kiba lying on the ground, a bump already formed on his head. I walked up to him just as Anko ran to her 'bestie'.

"What happened to the mutt?"

"He got impatient and yelled at somebody to fight him," Kurenai turned to my direction, looking at her most brash genin. "I decided to oblige."

I ignored the two and held a hand out to the dog-nin. Kiba opened his eyes and squinted at my hand before taking it, ignoring my concerned look. "How do you feel?" I felt my shoulders slump slightly as he turned away from me. "You know, you could answer me at least?"

"My head hurts. That's all you need to know."

I shrugged as he walked off. It was a start, at least.

"Oi, mutt! Where do you think you're going?!"

"I think I'm sitting down?" Kiba told my sensei confusedly.

"Oh, that's cute. Training hasn't started yet, Mutt!"

"I just got my ass beat 15 minutes ago! You expect me to try again now?!"

The sadistic grin that stretched across her face was telling enough. "I do, and Kurenai does too. You're gonna need all the help you can get," she walked up to the boy and roughly poked him in the forehead. "Kurenai and I are trying to help you, and you're acting like a gaki over it. If you're so sick of being shown up by others, why aren't you doing something about it?!"

"You're a real bitch, y'know that?!"

"Finally, somebody agrees with me!" I cried out.

"You shut it!" my Jōnin sensei pointed at me and motioned towards the other two members of Team 8. "Go sit with them! I'll make a Shadow Clone after Kurenai and I get started with the mutt."

"Yare Yare, whatever…" I walked over to the log Shino and Hinata sat on and took my place between them.

I noticed the bug-nin glancing at me from behind his sunglasses as I approached. "At least you two are tolerating each other."

"I guess…"

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Akamaru trotting over. The little ninken jumped onto the log and plopped his head on Hinata's lap, much to the girl's chagrin. "Akamaru-chan? Why aren't you with Kiba," the Hyūga furrowed her brows slightly at the dog's huff. "He might need your help, you know that?"

"Arf!"

"This isn't the time to take a nap, we're supposed to get a big mission later…"

"Arf!"

I snorted quietly at the dog's responses and tilted my head towards the girl nonchalantly. "So, how was your last date with Naruto?"

*CRACK*

OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK!

"Hrrk…that's my...shoulder…" I growled, a pulse of foreign chakra lancing into my shoulder in response.

"H-Hinata, using the Jūken like that...it's aggravating my hive-Urrk!" Shino whimpered as the girl increased the pressure on his own shoulder.

When I craned my neck to try and reason with the girl, I found active Byakugan staring back at me, the raised veins making her cold gaze far more terrifying. She leaned forward with an expressionless face as more chakra seared into my shoulder.

"...How?" ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ

"W-What are you talking about?" I wheezed.

"How did you know about that?" she growled lowly.

"Who do you think got you set up with him?!" I choked out quietly.

"I...figured it out after that rock nearly crushed us…" Shino croaked beside me.

Hinata regarded the bug-user for a few seconds before releasing us from her hold. I let out a sharp, hissing breath as I willed my shoulder to heal with Hamon, all while sending her an annoyed glare. Shino craned his neck to gape at the girl in shock.

She stared blankly at us for a few seconds, then went ghost pale. "Oh Kami! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it! I was...I just got scared!" the Hyūga bowed her head low as she clasped her hands. "P-Please forgive me!"

"...You got scared, so you nearly damaged our shoulders permanently?" I asked sardonically.

"It's not like that!" She hissed. "Listen, you cannot tell anybody that I'm dating him! Do you understand?!"

"Oi, what's going on over there?!"

"Nothing, Anko-sensei!" the girl said cheerfully before I could raise my voice. "Just Akamaru nearly peeing on us, nothing to worry about!"

"Arf?!"

"Ah, sure whatever. Kurenai and I will get the Shadow Clones ready in a bit, just hang tight," my Jōnin sensei went back to helping Kurenai with Kiba, completely oblivious to my new plight.

"Okay, wanna explain-"

"Give me a second," the bluenette formed her hands into a set of seals and molded a scarce amount of chakra around the tips of her fingers. "Magen: Kokoni Arazu no Jutsu!"

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Kurenai twitch slightly, but aside from that everything seemed normal. But it didn't take a genius to figure out a genjutsu was in place, and I didn't need to ask the girl why she casted it...well, technically I did.

"Ok, now can you explain why you damaged our shoulders?"

"I just have to be careful, alright," the girl twiddled her fingers nervously. "If my father finds out I'm dating Naruto, I'm done for."

"I'm sure your dad isn't that psychotic," I deadpanned.

"It's not him specifically, it's my Clan…" Hinata rubbed her temples tiredly as she inched away from us. "The only reason I haven't gotten the Caged Bird Seal yet is because I'm supposed to be married off to another Clan Heir to improve relationships between them, or some foppish noble in the Daimyō's court. If they find out I'm dating Naruto, the Clan elders will probably use it as a reason to put me in the branch family."

"I...I doubt that's actually how it works…"

"That may be because you don't have experience with inter-clan politics," Shino said flatly.

I stared at the bug-nin from the corner of my eye. "Gee, it's not like my Clan is...dead, or anything."

"My apologies, I know that's a sore spot for you, as well as Sasuke," the Aburame cupped a hand to his chin in thought. "Naruto is the village outcast, and he's generally reviled by everyone for what seems to be no apparent reason. I think you can understand how it would look if it were found he was secretly dating a Clan Heiress."

"...What exactly would happen to him?"

"In his own words?" Hinata clasped her hands and turned away. "He said he would probably 'be beaten up in an alleyway and left to bleed to death'. He got really descriptive about it too."

"That's not...that wouldn't...Naruto isn't a bad guy, he's never hurt anybody in his life," I rebutted.

"That may be the case, but we've all seen how people look at him," Shino cocked his head to the side, and I swore I saw his fist clench for a split second. "I've heard things too. I've heard plenty of villagers saying what they would like to do to him. Even if it were illegal, they could easily find a way to escape any repercussions."

"He's the de facto heir to the Uzumaki Clan, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Joushirou, you know why there would be a problem," Hinata said lowly.

I winced slightly at the implications. "What, that? I can't believe that's an issue with the Hyūga Clan. You're all supposed to be intelligent people, right?"

"We're smart, not rational," the bluenette deadpanned.

"Fair enough…" I grumbled under my breath as I leaned back while holding my arms behind my head. "He's not acting stupid around you, is he? I mean, in the bad way?"

"You know that's not like him," Hinata said blithely. "He's really sweet, we go on picnics deep in the woods and he's the one who always cooks."

"Huh...I didn't know he did that…"

"...He makes really good cinnamon buns."

"What was that?"

"N-Nothing!" the girl quickly waved her hands in front of herself to deflect. "It was just...wait, before, you said you were the one to set us up…what does that mean?"

"...So, full disclosure...once I saw you had a crush on him, I did everything I could to try and get you two together. I even tried to manipulate a bunch of events so that he would somehow hear you had a crush on him, or he'd accidentally say you were cute in front of you."

"E-EEP!" poor Hinata turned bright red at this. "That's just...all of those times where we bumped right into each other without knowing until after the fact?"

"Genjutsu."

"That time where he fell on top of me from a tree?"

"Hamon. If I use it the right way, I can manipulate a person's movements for just a bit. We were both sitting in the tree at the time, so I did it without him knowing."

"That's...genius," Shino whispered. "You've been trying to set them up in secret, for that long?"

"Yeah, the problem was that Naruto was so dense, it was a chore…"

"Wait! What about that time where Naruto-kun and I were stuck on those stairs for a whole day?!" the girl cried out.

"Uh...you see..."

Flashback to before chapter 6

"Alright...I know this is like a trick DI-that undead bastard did…" I grumbled under my breath. "But it should work…"

I peeked my head around the corner, smirking at what I saw. Both Naruto and Hinata were taking the stairs, the blonde going down, and the bluenette going up. The Hyūga froze upon seeing him as a dark red blush spread across her face, and she struggled to even walk past him.

"Alright...now or never," I whispered, willing Star Platinum to emerge.

*VRRRRRRRRRMMMMM*

"GAHAAAAGH!"

"EEP!"

Naruto flailed around as the girl fell face first onto him. Hinata's blush darkened as she nearly fainted from falling on top of her crush. After a few minutes, the two righted themselves, with the blonde helping the girl off of him.

"Ah, hey sorry about that Hinata-chan. Man, that's kinda like a couple of weeks ago...ah, sorry about that too," Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I didn't mean to fall on you like that, I promise."

"I-It's fine, Naruto-kun. I'm sorry for falling for you-on you!" the girl quickly corrected herself. "Falling on you as well."

"Don't worry about it. I'll see you later-"

*VRRRRRRRRRMMMMM*

"AAAAGHHH!"

"EEP!"

I peeked my head from the corner again just as they fell on top of one another a second time. "Just according to Keikaku…"

Present

"I used a strong genjutsu," I said finally.

"A genjutsu? How?! It actually felt like we were falling on each other!"

"...It was a really strong genjutsu," I said nonchalantly.

Shino cleared his throat, interrupting the girl before she could question me further. "Anko is coming, drop the genjutsu."

"EEP!"

Hinata formed her hands into a set of seals and dispelled the illusion just as my Jōnin sensei walked over. A vein nearly popped in my forehead when she cocked her head to the side to stare at us suspiciously.

"So, what's with the genjutsu?"

"I-I was p-practicing," the bluenette stuttered out.

"Practicing? Could have picked better people for it," Anko turned to Shino and I for a split second. "You've got bug-boy here with his constantly shifting chakra patterns, and you got the gaki with his weird sun powers that fixes his body no matter what."

"I...ano, that's fair, I guess…"

I sneered at the purple-haired woman as she turned to me. "Let me guess, you're a shadow clone?"

"Yeah, Kurenai should have one of hers up in a bit. She and the real me are busy dealing with the mutt...speaking of which," the clone poked Akamaru in the forehead. "Oi, dog! Go to your partner, you need training too."

Akamaru whimpered loudly for several seconds, before quickly being cowed by the clone's vicious glare. The ninken quickly jumped from the log and trotted over to Kiba as the dog-nin took the short break our senseis had given him.

...Knowing all of the things that could happen to that dog in this world...I was gonna protecc him with my life.

"Alright, now that that's done with," Anko's clone turned to us with a lopsided grin. "What has Kurenai taught you about nature transformations?"

"N-Not much," Hinata admitted. "I...I was given some Raiton and Doton jutsu by my father, and I'm supposed to master them to impress my Clan."

"And how's that working out for ya?"

The bluenette hung her head and tried to inch away from the woman. "It's n-not working out very well…"

"Alright then, and what about you bug-boy?"

"My name is Shino-"

"Just answer the question," the clone said tiredly.

"...I am able to use Doton and Katon style jutsu, as they are my natural affinities. I wish to refrain from the latter, however," Shino held up a hand as some of his Kikaichū scuttled onto his fingers. "I think my reasoning should be obvious."

"Alright, if that's settled...wait," Anko's clone pulled out a piece of chakra paper and handed it to Hinata. "Use that, it should help us give you an idea of what jutsu you can reliably use."

"Ano...how do I use it?"

The clone facepalmed at the girl's confusion. "Just push chakra into the paper, and it'll react according to your chakra affinity."

I pulled out a small piece of chakra paper from my pocket and held it out. "Here, you can use me as an example. If you have fire affinity, it'll burn up and turn to ash, or get cut into pieces if you have wind affinity," I pushed the slightest hint of chakra into the paper, and it immediately became damp enough that it could be pulled apart with the slightest tug. "Since I have water affinity, it gets damp like this, which means I'm better at Suiton jutsu."

Hinata's eyes widened in realization, and a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Oh, I think I can do that...let me see…" the bluenette's smile faded when she saw the results. The moment the paper turned damp, her stuttering began anew. "T-This is just a m-mistake, right? Can I p-please try again?"

"What do you mean? I only brought one piece of paper with me," Anko's clone tapped the girl playfully on the shoulder. "So you're a Suiton user, huh? That's pretty neat!"

The Hyūga heiress stared at the paper impassively. "Hyūga aren't water users…"

"They're not? Well, sucks to be them," the clone lightly slapped the girl's shoulder before pulling away and turning to face Shino and I. "Alright, bug-boy, what do you have to train for?"

"Aside from improving the effectiveness of my Kikaichū, which I am always doing...not very much," the bug-nin cupped a hand to his chin in thought. "I suppose I could train with Doton and Shurikenjutsu."

"Alright, try that! Jojo, make some clones and train with your wizard fighting style-"

"It's not magic!" I growled.

"Whatever! Just make some clones and have them train it. I need your help teaching the Hyūga water jutsu-"

"I don't need water jutsu," Hinata quickly interjected.

Anko's clone gave the girl a wild grin. "You're learning water jutsu, no if, ands, or buts! You got that?"

The bluenette visibly drooped at this. "Y-Yes Anko-sensei…"

"Good! Alright gaki, get your clones ready!"

"Yare Yare, whatever you crazy bitch," I growled under my breath.

"What was that you just said? Mind repeating it for us?"

"Fuck off, you know exactly what I said," I grumbled as I turned away. I quickly formed my hands into the set of seals and molded a substantial amount of chakra around my hands. ""Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

There was a tiny sensation of lightheadedness as I created two clones for training. A short breath kept me upright as the Ripple energized my body, though I still felt the drain on my chakra reserves afterwards. Shino quietly walked over to a nearby tree and began training with Shurikenjutsu, all while his insects surveyed the area around us.

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed my clones walking away from us. Once they were a safe distance away, they began training with the Sendo katas Anko had helped me fish out of my basement. While the clones couldn't produce more than a miniscule amount of Hamon, they produced just the right amount Sendo training required, which would get me started on properly using the Ripple in an actual fight.

"Alright, so you're probably wondering how Suiton works, right?" Anko's eyebrow rose at the girl's slow nod. "Well, it's actually pretty useful for all sorts of things. I know-ugh the real me only knows a few…" the purple-haired woman pinched the bridge of her nose. "Ok, that's gonna get confusing real fast-"

"Water jutsu has a bunch of applications," I interjected boredly. "It's useful for battering an opponent with great force, or you can use certain water jutsu for slicing attacks. You can also use it defensively, such as making a wall of water, or you can even use it as a snare or prison with certain techniques."

"Wait, hold up! Oi, gaki, I'm the teacher here," Anko's clone growled.

"You were busy contemplating the meaning of your existence as a clone, and I was getting bored," I said tiredly.

"Ano, h-how do I make water then?"

"You knead chakra, usually in your stomach, and expel it from your mouth," the clone chuckled at the girl's near facevault. "Yeah, that part is only for people with a lot of experience. Even I have trouble with some of those...luckily there's a trick for it," my sensei's clone turned to me. "Oi, gaki, show her the jutsu."

"Sure, whatever," my hands went into the dragon and tiger seals as I molded a small amount of chakra around my fingers. "Suiton: Inryokuken!"

The air around me turned dry as droplets of water formed around me, before coalescing into a large orb in front of me. I furrowed my brows slightly and shifted my chakra just a bit, willing a second orb to form next to the first, then a third, and so on, until I had five orbs of water in front of me. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Hinata's lavender colored Byakugan widening in awe at the sight of the growing blue spheres.

"So, that's f-for what? Do you use the orbs as weapons or…"

"The gravitational pull is meant to pull water towards you so you can use it in a jutsu," Anko clarified. "It's not meant as a weapon, just as a training instrument or a way to set up water jutsu."

I refrained from telling either of them that I was working on a way to weaponize it.

"Oi, gaki! Show her a water jutsu you've been working on."

"Yare Yare, just give me a minute," my eyes darted to one of the water orbs on the left, and with a shift in my chakra, I willed it to float several feet away from us. Once I was sure it was at safe spot, I formed my hands into the ram and tiger seals. "Suiton: Mizuame Nabara!"

The water orb I had decided to sacrifice immediately exploded. As the water hit the ground and spread out, it slowly transformed into a more viscous liquid, until soon it was the same consistency as really thick treacle or honey. As the bluenette and my sensei's clone stared at the results, I cupped a hand to my chin in contemplation.

"Hmm...maybe I should try to make it less...explodey?"

"Wait a minute! How the hell did you learn Izumo's jutsu?" Anko cried out.

"...Spied on him, memorized the seals, reverse engineered it," I shrugged. "Wasn't that hard to do, just had to make sure he couldn't find me even if he did know I was there."

"You can't just steal jutsu, Joushirou!"

"Oh, oh! So, an entire Clan gets to do it, and nobody bats an eye, but one genin does it and suddenly you're going nuts?"

"It's different for the Uchiha Clan...also, Kakashi has one of those too, so-"

"Just because some people have strange eyes, doesn't mean they get special perks…" I glanced at the Hyūga heiress from the corner of my eye. "No offense, obviously."

"Right, n-none taken…" Hinata held her hands up shakily. "So, how do I do it? Dragon and tiger seals, and then what?"

"Make sure your chakra flows...like, really flows. Like water would," Anko blinked at the girl's deadpan look. "What?! That's how it's supposed to work, don't look at me like that!"

The bluenette furrowed her brows as she formed the hand seals for the jutsu. "Suiton: Inryokuken!" her lavender eyes widened as water droplets formed around her and drifted towards a spot in the air directly in front of her hands. She furrowed her brows slightly when she noticed the growing water orb ripple slightly. "It's...difficult to keep up…"

"Eh, you'll get better with training and increasing your reserves. You already look like a natural," Anko turned to me with a lopsided grin. "Oi, gaki! Show her an actual weaponized jutsu, why don't ya?"

"Alright, fine then," I turned to the clone with a cold glare. "Suiton: Kōshi-"

"No! Do not use the mouth shot thing on me!" Anko growled. "Show her...agh, show her the water wave thing. I'm still supposed to train you guys."

"Yare Yare, fine…" I willed one of my water orbs forward and went through the set of hand seals I had become more than familiar with. "Suiton: Mizurappa!"

The orb expanded slightly before transforming into a small wave of water that shot forward in midair. I felt my shoulders slumping and a bead of sweat dripping down the side of my head as the wave crashed into a few trees. The wood cracked and splintered as they all snapped in half, falling to the ground with loud thumps.

...I guess Naruto might have some work then.

"Alright, now you try it," Anko told the Hyūga, quickly demonstrating the hand seals for the girl. "Remember: Tatsu, Tora, U, and make sure your chakra is flowing smoothly."

"H-Hai, Anko-sensei!" Hinata made the hand seals and gingerly molded chakra around her fingers. "Suiton: Mizurappa!"

I don't know why exactly her cupping her hands together changed it, since she only did it to better control the jutsu. What it actually did was transform what should have been a wave into a massive jet of water that blasted through several trees and rocks. While the girl dialed down the strength of the water, she didn't do well trying to reign in its intensity.

"AAAAGHHHH!"

"ARF! ARF!"

"Ugh! We're wet!"

Anko's clone made a small popping noise as the jutsu died down. "Wooh, looks like you used 'Water Trumpet' instead of 'Water Wave' by accident," the purple-haired woman looked at the shocked girl with a wicked sneer. "Welp, looks like you guys are on your own."

*POOF*

"What the-Why did she just dispel?" I flinched as I heard Kurenai calling out to us.

We were quickly greeted by two very wet Jōnin and a wet inuzuka with his ninken, all four of them glaring at us. When I noticed Hinata backing away nervously, I glanced to my sensei with the hopes that she would back us up with her clone's memories. Anko simply responded by giving me a twisted grin.

"Kami, can't you aim your water jutsu better, Gaki?" the purple-haired Jōnin stormed up to me and poked me roughly in the forehead. "You're hopeless, y'know that?!"

"You bitch!" I growled under my breath.

"Well, looks like we'll have to change then," Kurenai pinned me with a harsh stare from her blood-red eyes. "Unfortunately for you, you don't get to watch like you probably planned."

"Please stop trying to make me barf…" I grumbled.

"Oh, so you're saying we're not good enough for you, is that it gaki?" my sensei growled.

"Hey, don't you still owe me money for some of my windows?" I asked coldly.

"Now is not the time for that!"

Hokage's Office, waiting room

"S-So, what does a C-Rank mission normally look like?" Hinata asked nervously.

Anko glanced at us with narrowed eyes, an unsure expression settling across her face. "At worst, it'd just be some bandits hassling us on the roads. Dealing with enemy shinobi shouldn't come up."

"And if it does?" I asked lowly.

"Then it's not a C-Rank then," my sensei said simply. "If things get heated like that, we're out immediately."

"She's not wrong," Kurenai leaned forward in her seat with a concerned look. "I will pull all of us out of there if we encounter enemy shinobi. While you certainly haven't endeared me to your presence, I don't plan on risking your life."

I hummed thoughtfully at this. "Thank you for that, Kurenai-sensei..."

The dark-haired Jōnin cocked an eyebrow up at this. "I can tell you're genuinely appreciative of that...but...it just sounds so…"

"That is just how Joushirou works, Kurenai-sensei," Shino interjected. "He's not very open with his emotions towards other people unless he's truly comfortable around them."

"I see…"

"I just realized something," Kiba exclaimed loudly. "If we really wanna ward off bandits, we should keep Joushuya up front."

"Beg your pardon?" I asked darkly.

"Y'know, because of your resting bitch face," the dog-nin mimed a poking motion towards my head. "For people that don't know you, or aren't girls, they'd be scared shitless just by looking at your face."

"Yare Yare, what are you now, a comedian?"

"I figured it'd be a good backup career...I'm better at being a ninja, obviously."

"That says a lot about your skills, doesn't it?" Anko teased.

"Che, whatever…"

The door to the Hokage's office opened, and Team 7 stepped out. While his face was hidden behind a mask, Kakashi was visibly eye-smiling as he herded this three genin into the hall. In front of him, Sakura shambled forward tiredly, while both Naruto and Sasuke stared forward blankly, tick marks visible on their foreheads.

"So, what are your missions for today?" Anko asked sardonically.

Sasuke glared at my Jōnin sensei. "That information is classified-"

"Just a few D-Rank missions," Kakashi interrupted quickly. "Nothing too big, just picking up some trash from the storm, weeding gardens, the like. I'm sure my cute little genin can handle it."

Note to self, Kakashi needs to be watched.

"We're ninja, and we're stuck doing chores…" the Uchiha grunted angrily.

"Just be patient," I said curtly. "You'll get a big mission eventually, don't just charge into his office demanding it."

"Sure, whatever...wait, what are you guys here for?"

"We were told we would be getting a C-Rank mission. Jojo and his Sensei are accompanying us," Shino informed them.

"Agh! Are you serious?!" the blonde pulled at his hair angrily and stamped a foot down. "You guys are getting some cool assignment while we're stuck doing chores and babysitting? This isn't fair!"

"Naruto, C-Rank missions are only for ninja who can handle themselves. You only just began training with your one 'trait'," Kakashi hummed thoughtfully as Naruto sagged at his remark. "The three of you need time before you can get more dangerous assignments. Do you understand this?"

The young members of Team 7 let out a grunt or huff each, then bowed their heads. "H-Hai, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Wonderful! Well, those roofs won't repair themselves, will they?" the silver-haired Jōnin began herding his genin towards their next destination. For a split second, he turned to us with an eye-smile and a wave. "Good luck on your C-Rank!"

As Team 7 left, a chūnin emerged from the office and waved us in. Once I stepped into the room, I could feel the ounce of tension in the air. The ninja at the mission assignment weren't grinning smugly at the thought of assigning us new chores, and the Hokage wasn't lazily smoking his pipe as he faced us, instead sporting a dark expression. It was like I had just stepped into another universe all of the sudden.

"...So, is it true then?" Kurenai asked nervously.

"It is," Hiruzen said grimly as he closed his eyes. "To be honest, I didn't feel right designating it a C-Rank mission, all things considered, but I was assured he wouldn't be a threat."

"Wouldn't be a threat?!" Anko cried out. "But, that guy r-"

"Anko! Not around them!" the dark-haired Jōnin hissed while glancing at the four of us.

Shino stepped forward nervously, standing up straight as he addressed the old man. "If I may ask...what exactly is our mission?"

"Prisoner extradition and bounty collection," Iruka said flatly. "We found a wanted criminal, Iwagakure wants him back, we need money. It's pretty standard...a-aside from the fact that the criminal is also a disgraced chūnin."

I glared at the ninja at the desk. "We're going into the wilderness, to meet one of the hidden villages that sees us in the most unfavorable way...while bringing a former ninja with us, one who could probably easily kill us?"

"That is why I wasn't too keen on giving it the C-Rank designation," the Hokage said sheepishly. "You can relax, Joushirou. His ability to use chakra has been sealed away as best as possible, and he's in special bindings that also hold seals, ones that can prevent an escape and be used to track him if he does."

"I don't know how I feel about this…"

"I promise you, there won't be any chance of you or Team 8 being harmed," Hiruzen cocked his head to the side as he inspected my reaction. "I don't think you'd need to worry about his escape. Just hand the prisoner over to the Iwa nin, collect the bounty, and be on your way."

"Ano, w-what if they refuse to pay?" Hinata asked slowly.

"Then keep the prisoner until they do," the old man said simply. "Nobody wants another Shinobi War, so Iwa knows they're not in a position to cause an incident."

Behind me, I heard Kiba letting out a low growl in annoyance. I ignored the dog-nin and watched as the old man pulled out a large folder and handed it to Kurenai. My Jōnin sensei leaned over the dark-haired woman's shoulder and scrutinized the contents of the files.

"You're really sure about this?" the purple-haired woman asked.

"I am. This mission is important, and it's quite dangerous, but after every assessment and taking into account every possible variable, I can't fathom any danger to you or your genin."

"I'm still not sure about this…" Anko said nervously.

"Anko, I've known you and these kids for years. I'm sure you can handle this," Iruka said reassuringly.

"...Alright, fine!" she said hotly. "But if something goes wrong, we're outta there in a heartbeat."

"I wouldn't expect you to stay if something did go wrong," the Hokage said grimly. He held a hand up and snapped his fingers towards the corner. "Bring him in please."

The ANBU agent hiding there revealed himself for a few seconds and nodded at his superior, then blinked out of existence. A few minutes later, he returned alongside a second ANBU, both holding a man in rags and chains. The prisoner lifted his head, revealing a young man with dark brown eyes, a fair-skinned face, and black hair.

"Murasaki Eiki, you have committed crimes against your people and escaped justice for what you have done," Hiruzen motioned towards us with a cold expression. "These Shinobi will be escorting you to Kannabi Town, where you'll be handed over to Iwa Shinobi."

The now named Eiki craned his neck to look at us, a confused expression spreading across his face. He turned away and faced the floor while mumbling to himself, the few words I could make out being about our genin status.

The Hokage leaned towards the man with a disgusted glare. "I don't want you to be mistaken about anything, Murasaki. The only reason you're still alive is because you have a bounty on your head that stipulates it, nothing more," he clutched the sides of the desk angrily. "If I had it my way, you wouldn't be here right now. I want you out of my village, and my country, as soon as possible."

Murasaki hung his head and mumbled something I couldn't quite catch. Hiruzen motioned for the ANBU to take him away as the other ninja at the assignment desk murmured amongst themselves. He then turned to our Jōnin senseis, a tired expression spreading across his face.

"He'll be handed over to you when you reach the village gates. Make sure you're prepared for the journey, as it could take a few days."

"To Kannabi Town, right?" Anko narrowed her eyes at the prisoner as the ANBU agents removed him from the room. "Hmph...as long as we have the right supplies, we should be good."

Konoha front gate

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T BRING MY DANGO STASH?!"

I tilted my head as I pushed a finger in my ear to clear it. "You heard what I said. We can only bring the essentials."

"Dango is essential! You maniac, you can't do this!"

"Anko, you really need to lay off the stuff," Kurenai chided. "If you eat too much, you'll get fat-"

"Don't patronise me, Yūhi!" Anko's animalistic growl cut through the air, silencing everyone around us as they shuddered in terror. "If I don't get my Dango, somebody is getting their ass kicked!"

Kiba went pale and immediately hid behind me as the purple-haired woman ranted and raved.

"Oi, stop shouting! You're making small children cry," I said curtly.

"I will strangle you dead!"

"Ahem!"