march 18

I cant be awake or sleep without thinking about it. its getting worse instead of just noticing it. its starting to become plans and ways to hide it.

i want to hide it cause i don't want to go to another mental hospital. they fucking don't do anything, i sat there for 6 days and all i wanted was to kill myself more. it gets even better when i got out they send me in the mail a invoice for $20,000. like OK nice to know that all i got out of this is wanting to die more and an empty wallet.

too bad i cant work cause depression and anxiety makes it so i cant leave my fucking house. so all i can fucking do is watch as my parents throw away more money on a disappointment that's going to kill himself anyway