4/4

She couldn't recall ever seeing the clan head of the next generation without some kind of alcohol nearby. Had he really been that miserable with his arranged wife to try and find something to numb the days with? Alcohol wasn't something used by shinobi a lot, and definitely not on a daily basis. It dulled too many needed skills and senses for ninja to really like being drunk or even tipsy.

"You."

Natsumi tripped.

The heir of the shadow jutsu clan caught her before she hit the ground. "What?"

"Me?" No squeaking. Nope, not her.

"Well… yeah. You're not predictable." He eyed her suspiciously. "And sometimes you can keep up with me. Which is better than most of the people I deal with."

"…I'm not really all that sane, Shikaku!"

The teen snorted as he let her go when the assassin found her feet. "Sanity's overrated. Yeah, we've got rational thinking. You've got tangents and angles to work with, and damn do you work them. Besides, who in the shinobi corps can you call completely sane?"

Shutting her mouth fast enough to click her teeth together, Natsumi had to give him that one.

"And kaa-chan's really been after me to ask you about this. She's still planning the wedding in her head, has been since the academy and I brought you two over."

Stop… wait. "Was she planning on Minato-kun too? Cause that's kinda weird."

Shikaku blinked, jaw open to counter whatever next objection she had. He shut his mouth after a stunned moment, and started laughing.

"What? He's like my little brother. Incest is wrong!"

The Nara snorted and tugged her into a careful hug. "Since there wasn't anything else you brought up, I take it you don't mind?"

No, her brain hamster was going in panicky little circles and couldn't get anything coherent enough to use back to her.

Natsumi inhaled deeply, trying to get her heart to settle down from oh shit level of activity to what the hell? "Are you sure? I mean… I'm a kunoichi, my head hasn't been okay since I was five here, and there are so many ways I can think of for this to go wrong."

What about Shikamaru?

"Yes, shinobi, don't care in the slightest, and we'll work it out."

"…you're telling Minato-kun, Sakumo-taicho, and Jiraiya-sensei."

"You're mean."

"You're marrying me."

(ooo000ooo)

Minato stared at them, the ink still streaked across his face. "You know, sempai, when I told you to bother someone else… I didn't mean for you to go out and find a husband."

The only thing Natsumi could do was shrug uselessly, still not too sure how they ended up here in this situation. "Two birds, meet one stone? It occupied some time, didn't it?"

Shikaku snickered.

"Right…" Her fellow orphan switched targets, now staring down the no longer smirking shadow user. "Excuse us a moment, sempai. Shikaku and I need to have some words."

The assassin wordlessly turned and went back out the door, shutting it firmly behind her. Not interested in the least to hearing her kouhai threaten her fiancée's body parts and wellbeing if she wasn't treated right.

Well… that had gone well.

Now just taicho was left, sensei had to get back to the village first before he could be told.

Was she sure she wanted to do this? She could be wrong for the reason Shikaku picked up a bottle.

(ooo000ooo)

"You sure do get up to some interesting things when not training, Natsumi-chan."

The assassin shrank a little under Sakumo's raised eyebrows. "Sorry, taicho."

Eri whacked her new husband on the arm with her free hand, the one not cradling Kakashi. "Hush you. Congratulations, Natsumi-chan!"

She couldn't help the small smile inching across her lips when the woman beamed at her happily. If there was anything the assassin was thankful for, it was that Eri hadn't been scared of her after seeing the aftermath of what she had done to other living people in order to defend her and her son that night. Natsumi had held worries to that effect the day she woke up after the attack, but the woman had hugged her, bloodstained clothing and all, and thanked her for protecting them.

Kami-sama bless hidden village civilians.

"Thanks, Eri-san."

Next to her, Shikaku was glaring at the older man for whatever reason. Had she missed something? Taicho looked satisfied, so that was possible.

"I'll talk to Shiki-sama about the marriage contracts." Sakumo finally grinned at the two of them, one canine peeking out from one side of his mouth. "Since I am still your legal guardian."

Ooh… right. No wonder Shikaku hadn't argued telling the men of her life what he wanted from her even if it meant facing a protective Minato. Sneaky.

(ooo000ooo)

Mikoto peered at the assassin and the shadow user, who were talking to the six-year-old Nawaki about ninja specialties in the Senju clan compound. "Well, that's working out well."

"I think Shikaku-kun would have been the only one who wouldn't have gotten hung up about her past life, you know." Kushina nodded firmly, still smirking. "Besides, they both can now have those confusing conversations about theoretical things and war tactics on their own time."

Inoichi had his face firmly buried in his hands. "I'm claiming amnesia if anyone asks me, just so you both know."

Setting up one of his friends and his old genin teammate was probably the lowest point he could see using what the misplaced soldier taught him on her. He was still mostly sure Shikaku had seen through most of it himself, but the tactical genius had apparently seen something he wanted so the teen went along with Inoichi's arguments about what was probably best for Natsumi.

Scoffing at him, the Uzumaki flicked her hair over her shoulder and faced him. "You know Shikaku-kun wouldn't have been very happy with the Chūnin Corps girl his parents were thinking about. And Natsumi-chan probably never would have gotten around to finding someone with all her work between Sakumo-sama and ANBU, if that's kinda the same thing that happened in her last life. This way they both are happy."

"Can a Yamanaka get amnesia?" The Uchiha genjutsu specialist mused aloud, tapping her lips with the pads of her fingers. "I always thought your clan was mostly immune to those kinds of things."

The heir of the mind walker clan drew himself upright, glowering at the two kunoichi. "I have nothing to say to that, and I'm going over there next to Chouza-kun now."

Mikoto smiled as Kushina finally burst into the giggles she had been holding back since the arrangement between the Nara clan and Hatake clan, on Mesuji Natsumi's behalf, had been announced. "I still have no clue how you got him to help us."

Her best friend sobered up enough to give her a serious look for a whole moment. "Like Natsumi-chan says, blackmail is such a wonderful thing. Did you know Inoichi is seeing a girl from Intelligence? Ran- something, I think."

\V/

Jiraiya came back to the village one year after he left, to check in with his Hokage and his students before going back out. The Toad Sage was more than a little bemused at the changes that had happened since he had been gone.

Four-month-old Kakashi was seated in Natsumi's lap, trying to see if the rubber kunai his father had given him would break skin if he stabbed hard enough with it. The assassin was pretty sure she would be getting a bruise right there when the near toddler stopped.

"And the assassins?"

"Iwa. Taicho's not at all happy with anything coming out of Earth Country at the moment."

Humming his understanding, the sannin eyed the almost-toddler in her lap. "So when did this happen?"

"While we were out in Suna for the chūnin exams." Natsumi gave her sensei a lopsided smirk. "Taicho knocked up his girlfriend. It really was something I was more expecting to hear about you, sensei."

Jiraiya scoffed, puffing himself upright. "I don't make that kind of mistake, neko-chan."

"You mean you haven't… yet." The assassin quickly pointed at the baby. "Kashi-chan's here, can't hit me."

Kakashi obligingly giggled to himself, giving up on drawing blood for the moment and sticking the ring end of the kunai into his mouth to gum. The Toad Sage rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "Who made that one up?"

"I did." Eri shot the white haired man a look from the hallway. "Who is this, Natsumi-chan?"

"Jiraiya of the Sannin, Eri-san. He's taicho's friend and my old sensei." The assassin ignored the protest of being called old from the man, grinning up at the woman who married her old ANBU captain. "Are you done shopping?"

Having already known the teenager her husband taught swordsmanship to wouldn't let anything that could harm either her or her son into the house without blood being shed, Eri simply nodded when she put together the white haired pervert she had heard a bit about already and one third of the Densetsu no Sannin. "Would either of you like some tea?"

"I won't be staying for long, miss. So no, thank you." The Toad Sage eyed the woman as she left the two of them with the baby. "I can see why Sakumo went for her. Indomitable, isn't she?"

Natsumi made a rude sound in her sensei's direction. "She was fine with me killing two of those Iwa idiots the night they tried to kill her and Kashi-chan. There isn't much I've seen so far that throws Eri-san off her stride."

He shot her a look, smirking finally and changing the subject. "So, I've heard a little about you as well, neko-chan. A little whisper about a ghost eyed assassin in a cat mask going around Moss Country?"

Natsumi groaned and slumped, taking one hand that had been bracing Kakashi upright to cover her eyes. "Those rumors are still going? I swear, I'm going to find whoever started them and give him an Avenging Ancestor to worry about."

"I hear the first few versions out between the Lands of Tea and Rain, but the subject matter has changed a bit from the first sightings before I started heading back." Jiraiya snickered, running a hand over his jaw at the teen-woman's predicament. "I don't think you have much to worry about, as long as you keep yourself from being seen again. But still, you have to admit it's appropriate."

"That's what Minato-kun said about it, too. The two of you think so alike sometime that it's scary."

The Toad Sage was now currently in Ame teaching three more orphans? Good to know.

"Alright, one more question and I'll go find where my wayward apprentice is hiding out." Jiraiya drew his copy of her marriage contract out of his bag. "Sakumo sent this to me by his Summons. You sure about this, Natsumi-chan? Nothing says you have to get married anytime soon."

The assassin smirked faintly at the papers. "I can't stand the larger clans and the way they nose into everything, despite what Fugaku-sama assumed I'd be doing once I was old enough. This is… comfortable, I think is the word I want. Shikaku-kun and I have known each other for a long while, and the Naras aren't as fussy as the more combat oriented shinobi clans."

As a matter of fact, the Nara clan was as excited to have her as anything else they ever got excited about.

Fugaku had gotten her comprehension speed tested against an Uchiha's sharingan once, when they were more than a little stumped on her jutsu method and just a little bored trying to find something else to look in to. It apparently was something a lot of the R&D ninja did when at loose ends, according to Orochimaru. She had barely passed the first test and failed the second when shown pictures and having to identify where what object was in them, by keeping up with a sixteen year old chūnin MP with the first level of the sharingan active then when the eye was in the second stage, but the fact of the matter was she had passed without the bloodline.

The Naras figured that with her comprehension speed and Shikaku's tactical intelligence, the next generation wouldn't be able to go wrong. Natsumi wasn't so sure about that, but she had been forced to accept some things were not turning out as she thought they might so she was now going along with that. However, she was sure the comprehension was from another life of watching for enemy movement or acquiring targets in fast moving vehicles, and not something she would be able to pass onto any kid they might have.

Nervous about how the next generation was going to turn out, yes. What was going to happen to Shikamaru? Uneasy about getting married, no.

It was Shikaku after all.

The Hyūga and Uchiha clan might be slightly annoyed with her for the moment, and she hadn't known being friends with the head of one and the heir of another made you a common topic of discussion and speculation before, but Fugaku had gotten over himself to congratulate Shikaku last week and the twins had been mostly accepting of her decision from the start.

Seriously though, she thought it was a little creepy that elders she had maybe meet a few times had been talking about her possible dating life. Finding out Kushina was another much talked about kunoichi had been hilarious, though. The redhead still went beet red when anyone brought up the Uchiha elders. Minato also had his own admirers in every clan, much to his own dismay. The evening she told him about it he had repeatedly hit his table with his forehead muttering about fangirls.

She and Minato were more acceptable to the larger clans because they were orphans and shinobi, a kind of fresh blood and new talent for the larger clans that encouraged keeping bloodlines within the clan. While the elders of the clans wouldn't really care for civilian born ninjas, because then they would have to deal with their civilian families, orphan shinobi were still the favored picks if you had to marry outside a clan.

Fugaku had wanted to add her comprehension speed to the Uchihas' sharingan, but he forgot to inform her of that. Not that Natsumi ever saw herself in one of the noble clans in the near or far future, they had more rules and regulations about how to dress and how to act than she really wanted to think about.

Trust the Toad Sage to play devil's advocate. "Comfortable? That's not really what you should be looking for in someone you'll spend the rest of your life…"

Jiraiya trailed off at her raised eyebrow, grimacing to show he realized what she was hinting at with the nonverbal clues about how exactly her life had gone by once already. Eri was listening in, after all. You didn't spend a lot of time with ninjas without learning to be a little sneaky yourself just to keep up.

He leveled a finger in her face and wiggled it admonishingly. "We'll continue this later then, neko-chan. Tell your taicho I'll be here for… uh, Eri-san?"

The woman bustled back into the room with a tea tray, smiling broadly at the three of them. "Yes, Jiraiya-sama?"

"Just Jiraiya, please. Would you mind if I came back for dinner?" The white haired man scratched the back of his head, getting used to the idea of one of his good friends being married and with a son.

"Of course you can come for dinner. Should I find where Natsumi-chan hid the sake as well?" Eri was still smiling, but it looked more like a smirk if you tilted your head to the side and squinted.

At the sannin's incredulous look, the assassin shrugged. "It's still in the cupboard, Eri-san. I just put it under a minor illusion that made taicho think it was baby powder."

"So that's why he never remembers to get any."

(ooo000ooo)

"You realize you don't have to do this marriage thing, right?"

"You realize you've asked that three times now, right sensei?"

Jiraiya huffed and rolled his eyes at her, grumbling under his breath about stubborn cats and biological clocks. The two of them were waiting on Minato, who had taken the reappearance of their old sensei and his fūinjutsu master with as much excitement as the assassin had ever seen out of her kouhai their entire lives so far.

Well, his anyways.

The blond future Yondaime had insisted the both of them go to the team's old training field, while he fetched Kushina and set up to show them something he had been working on. So the two of them were sitting under a tree in Training Ground Three, talking about the same topic they had been on since they left the Hatake clan compound.

"Do… do you think it's a bad idea?" Natsumi asked slowly, trying to place her feelings about the older looking man's seeming concern over her impending marriage. "I know you haven't really had the time to get to know me when you taught me for half a year and have been out of the village for a full one right after… but I still do want to hear what you think about this, sensei."

The Toad Sage shot the teenager-woman a sideways look, once she didn't see because the assassin was staring off into space with a furrowed brow. The sannin hummed lowly, sorting his thoughts out and the impressions he had taken of her.

"I think it may not matter in a few years, you'll come to like the Nara gaki just fine. I'm just concerned you're jumping the bit too fast, neko-chan Why not look around for a year or so before agreeing?"

"So, you have commitment issues. Nice to know." Natsumi laughed as the man spluttered out a series of choked coughs. "We've got until we both make tokubetsu jōnin to decide if we're staying and tying the knot or breaking it off. There's wiggle room, sensei."

Not entirely surprised when the ANBU dodged the swipe at her head, the sannin settled back against his tree with a scowl aimed at her cheeky grin. "Fine. If you know what you're doing I'll sign the contract for you. Neko no gaki."

The assassin's grin faded, turning into a softer smile. "Thanks."

Jiraiya snorted, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "For what? A bit of ink on some paper? You need your head checked, neko-chan."

"I've needed that checked out for years, sensei, but the last time I did so I accidently threw Inoichi-kun out of my head with a nasty memory of what being gutted feels like. I'll skate by with how I am, thanks."

"I'll give you that." They sat in silence for a while, both thinking just what kind of damage the misplaced soldier might have in her head. "Why did Minato-kun want you out here, anyways? I didn't know you were interested in fūinjutsu."

Interested isn't the word I would use, sensei.

"I'm interested in Summoning Contracts, not the rest of it. So I know a bit." Natsumi quirked a smirk at the raised eyebrow. "I needed another goal after ANBU, sensei. So… Summoning Contracts."

"You trying for any animal clan in particular?"

"I think taicho wants to pass the Dogs on to his son, or I would have asked him." The assassin hummed, playing with a blade of grass as she thought. "I know I want something sort of like the Dogs, though. Something I can use when I get over my head, like when the Iwa assassins came after Eri-san and Kashi-chan. I could have used something to fetch backup without alerting the last one going through the main floor, even if they weren't combat usable."

"Toads?"

"No offence, but hell no. I think Minato-kun might kill me."

"Slugs?"

"Should go to a medic."

"Don't tell me you want the Snakes."

"One word, sensei. Creepy."

Laughing at that slight to his reclusive teammate, the man tried another few that were all shot down as either belonging to a clan already or another variation of the word creepy. The whisper-whistle of something sharp and metal thrumming its way through air reached the both of them minutes into the exchange, and their heads snapped up just in time to see the missing blond appear and catch something in a flash of light.

Minato then promptly flailed in midair, losing his way and needing rescuing by the Toad Sage.

Hiraishin. He had put together his Flying Thunder God technique while she had been off killing people and babysitting a baby. Damn blonds.

Jiraiya set his apprentice on the ground near Natsumi, checking over the blond for anything missing before getting irritated. "What the hell was that?"

"Shunshin in a seal, sensei." Minato panted, one hand over his heart. "It's… a lot harder because you can't see where you're going, but it's not only faster but instant."

"You're using the kunai I gave you for your birthday for it?"

Ah, history. Hello to you too.

The blond threw her a wide grin, still thrilled with the success of surprising the both of them. "Yep, with the seal wrapped around the handle, gives you a target to aim for when you activate it long range with a component chakra seal trigger. Doing it in midair is easier than trying to use a stationary target."

"Landing issues?" The assassin asked knowingly, it would explain the number of scuff marks and scratches her kouhai had been getting over the last couple of months. "If you're using a seal intended or like the one for teleportation between distances similar to a Summons Contract, how much of a problem is situating the area of summoning around a general target giving you? Is that why you're doing it in midair right now?"

Minato acquired a bit of a blush under his flush of success. "Not really similar to a Summons Contract but along the same lines, it's a space-time compression seal I had Kushina-chan check out with me before any testing on my end, styled after one like sensei uses. It basically removes the space between you and the seal, if you're the one to arm it. But kinda on the landings. I think it's more an orientation problem than location or trajectory. I was hoping I could use you as a test subject, sempai. To see if it's a comprehension fix, reaction time, or just one flaw you needed to get used to."

"I see you know more than just a bit, Natsumi-chan." Jiraiya interjected archly, causing both of his students to blush. "Let me look at that seal, Minato-kun."

The blond handed over the three pronged kunai, still unable to rid himself of his grin. The assassin thought that was fair, he must have been working on it the entire time the Toad Sage had been gone from the village. She wondered how much of his time she had wasted by sitting on his couch and verbally poking him.

The sannin eventually handed it back, first the metal kunai then the seal paper, shaking his head exasperatedly at the both of them. "The stuff you gakis get up to when I'm gone. Next you'll tell me Inoichi-kun has been selected to be the next Hokage."

Natsumi coughed into her hand. "We thought you knew, sensei."

At the man's gaping expression, her kouhai started snickering. "No, Inoichi-kun's not taking over the village, sensei."

"He's doing a hostile takeover T&I, actually." The assassin finished for him with a nod.

Jiraiya blinked, expecting a rebuttal that didn't come from his other student because it was technically true. "What?"

Minato shot his sempai a look to get her to quiet down. "He's rewriting a lot of the interrogation manuals, sensei. There is no hostile takeover."

"Yet."

The blond opened his mouth, and then shut it. He couldn't disagree with that either given his fellow blond's temperament. "Yet."

The Toad Sage eyed the both of them. "I don't think I want to know."

"Wise man."

"Shut up, sempai."

\V/

"So another half a year?"

"There about." Sakumo rubbed his jaw while the Toad Sage poured him another saucer of sake. He was still wondering where it had come from, he had been sure Eri threw out what he had before the wedding. "I would like to keep her nearby until Kashi-chan can hide himself if anything happens, maybe a full year more. But Natsumi-chan doesn't have long left on her apprenticeship, and there is only so far I can stretch teaching her. She picks up on a lot of it just by watching me."

The white haired sannin sighed, looking up at the stars peeking out of the darkening sky. "I'm hoping to be out for another few years, but that doesn't sound likely from the rumblings I'm hearing coming from the other hidden villages. Tell neko-chan you want her around for that last half a year after she's done, I can guarantee you she'll stick around longer than that if you make it clear what you want."

"You can, huh?"

"Hey, she was my student."

"She's my subordinate."

"So true." Jiraiya hummed, giving his friend a sideways look. "How are you feeling, about the attempt on your wife?"

"Pissed. But I'm sure Natsumi-chan told you that." Sakumo gave his friend a half-hearted glare, who didn't even had the grace to look sheepish. "It's just… if she hadn't been there that night, Eri might not be alive. Kakashi too. I mean, they almost got her just before trying to kill my wife. Did a number on her hair, though, even if she ducked in time."

"Natsumi-chan doesn't care about her hair, Sakumo. I asked her about it, and she said she had been thinking of a cut, anyways."

"Damn odd kunoichi, that one."

Jiraiya snorted, thinking of how right his friend was without knowing the half of it. "Odd maybe… but a damn good one."

"That," the silver haired man raised his saucer in salute, "goes without saying."

monophonic : She's rather proud of herself too. There is some screwing around cannon in this chapter, but I don't think anything else that major is kicked in and beaten with a rubber chicken for another part or so.

cormalin : Err . . . damn. Thanks though. That would explain why I couldn't find it. Hanzo's a beast either way, yeah?

KleverKilva : I have no plans not to finish this. I kinda want it done and complete even if it goes past my initial five parts, myself. There are not enough finished ones out there.

Mybffisazombie : Since you are the only one that expressed an opinion either way, screwing the pairings it is. Still was going to happen, but still. And though this part is sadly lacking much of the Toad Sage, I think you'll still like it.

DWM and Vaughn Tyler : Five minutes of fame, just for leaving something for me. Welcome to the nut-job cheering squad.