What Are You Talking About?

John immediately wakes up & sits up in his bed, sweating & breathing heavily. John looks around to see if anyone is in his room. John thinks for a bit about what he saw. He looks at the clock & notice that it is 1:15 am.

He gets out of bed & walks down to the kitchen. He opens up the fridge. The light from the refrigerator illuminates the room. John pulls out a tequila bottle & a half-empty bottle of mango-flavored vodka, then shuts the fridge door. As he walks up to his room, he sees that his mother is asleep with her bedroom door open. John quietly shuts her door & goes back to his room. He sits on his bed, next to his dresser. He puts the vodka on the nightstand next to his bed, opens one of the dresser drawers & pulls out a small knife. The knife has a very sharp blade that is about 6 inches long. He looks at it & examines every inch of the knife, from the rubbery feel of the handle to the blade's finely pointed tip. He tightly holds the knife's handle in his hand, then takes the knife & slowly cuts himself on his left shoulder. John quietly grunts in pain. He then cuts his shoulder again, this time making the cut deeper & longer. John softly groans in pain again.

He puts the knife back on top of the drawer, grabs the tequila bottle, & he then starts drinking the vodka & lays back down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling.

He stops drinking from the bottle, "Alcohol, the one female that loves me back & won't cheat on me or use me. I love you, Mango Vodka." John kisses the bottle.

John sighs, "I hate my life. All I deserve is pain; I never deserve happiness; It seems like." He starts drinking again, and then he gets the knife out of the drawer again. He holds the knife tightly in his fist. He starts to cut his left shoulder again & again, quietly grunting in pain with each cut. His face turns from a look of shock & pain to a glimpse of pleasure. With each cut on his shoulder, John enjoys the sharp pain caused by the knife cutting deep into his skin.

John drinks from the bottle, "I don't know why, but, for me, physical pain is great at covering up emotional pain. So I don't have to feel anything anymore."

John sighs, "Now time to keep drinking, so I don't remember the pain & problems that cause me to be emotional in the first place."

John takes a sip of the vodka. Then he confusingly asks himself, "Why am I talking to myself?"

He shrugs, "Oh well. It doesn't matter, I guess. It is not like I have anyone else to talk with here. Well, except maybe Alexia, but she is asleep, so I guess I don't have anyone to talk to right now." He shrugs then starts drinking from the bottle again.

Suddenly he gets a text. Still lying there looking at the ceiling, John stops drinking says, "Ugh, who can that be right now?" John takes another drink then grabs his phone & looks at it. It is a text from Alexia.

"Speaking of Alexia, there she is. I wonder what she is doing up this early"

He opens the text message, "Hey, are you awake, John?"

John replies, "Yeah, sadly, I am."

"Hey, I don't mean to bother you this early, but I can't sleep. I guess you can't sleep either?"

John looks at the text message, "I mean she is not wrong. I can't sleep because of these weird dreams. Damn nightmares."

"Yeah, I can't sleep too. Damn, nightmares are keeping me up!" He replied to Alexia.

John, surprised by what she said, quickly replies, "Yes, I have been. What have your dreams been about???" He immediately starts wondering if she is having the same visions that he has been seeing.

Alexi replies, "There was this man in some room talking to someone named Whisper. She kind of looks like a blue hologram or something like that. But I can't see the man. It is kinda too dark to see him."