Answers

Ok. As I said on my other novel, you all want answers why I don't update right?

The answer is simple with this novel.

What you have read so far are things I wrote while feeling deeply depressed and sometimes even during panic attacks. I write down what I am thinking in the moment then post it after I calm down.

Recently I've been having less depressive moods and less panic attacks.

I do not control my mood swings. If I could then this novel wouldn't exist.

So like I said in my other novel I may not be able to post as often as people want. And unfortunately I burned most of my past writings about my depression after an incident happened. So I will try to update when I feel down.

but honestly it's pure torture to fully and truly believe you are a monster that is not human and nobody wants you in your life and that you should kill yourself but you don't know on which method to choose so you start contemplating on what to die with.