I hate you

Dear me

I hate you go die.

You can't do what needs to be done. You can't be relied on. You are broken beyond repair. You should kill yourself. What's holding you back? Your family? They will get over your death. They will move on, they will because they are stronger than you. You are unfit, fat, mentally unstable, stupid, monstrous, selfish, unstable, a danger to yourself and others around you, you can't control yourself.

No one will save you and you cannot save yourself. This is painful please make it stop please let my anger die. Please don't break or hurt people or objects. Don't destroy yourself. You should destroy yourself. You are your only enemy. I hate you so much it hurts. I hate you to the point of not being able to breathe. I'm scared I don't want to die. I should I need to make a plan. Is this me? I don't want to think. This hurts . No ones there. There are people who will listen and try to help. I can't reach them. I don't want to reach them. Disgusting. Don't look at me when I'm like like this it makes me angry that you can see. It makes me hate myself for showing people. I can't help it. I don't care do better. Why can't you help me. Because you hate me. Why do I hate you. Because you can't help me? Because you destroy me? Why do you hate yourself? You're shouting I don't know when you're the only one who can know. Push everyone who is there for you away. I don't want them to leave but I would rather be hated than missed if I die. I'm scared. I'm afraid of myself. I can't stay in control I failed again. Everything is not fine. You can't keep faking in front of others that you're ok. I don't want to be seen. I don't like their pity. I feel nasty, rotten, numb. I need to do things I need to function.