Daoist_spider

These are thoughts collected when feeling extreme emotions. In no way are they everyday thoughts or opinions. This book is not suited for anyone under the age of 15. Warning this book depicts depression and/or suicidal thoughts. This book was made purely for the hope that the author can use this to cope. If you don’t like this genre or the book/topics make you uncomfortable. Leave while you still can. Basically it’s like a diary, I post this so I may find out about myself and hopefully learn something from it. I do not post everything on here and some of the chapters might be removed due to either sensitivity issues or me being unwilling to share the thoughts anymore. Grab a bag of tissues and a box of melodrama and we can all just cry this out.

When you’re angry. When you’re sad.

I don't want to live but I can't stand the consequences of dying.


I'm a hypocrite, messed up in all this. I know I do this to myself sometimes I wish I could be anyone else. Why can't I break free of my own mind challenging me, just forget my family just forgo everything I feel like I can't breathe I'm sick of this and I'm sick of me! I can't take away my life because I feel its not mine. I only live anymore because I know I impact others I'm a part of their lives and if I die I can break theirs. I'm just mad at myself for not having the guts to leave everyone behind and be selfish for once.


I'm dumb, I'm scared, I'm feeling numb, pathetic, worthless.


These emotions feel like they are cracking me.


I feel like I'm underwater and I cannot breathe I'm drowning myself, I'm hurting myself. My mind feels like a broken carousel I'm just stuck spinning never stopping. I feel like I'm becoming numb and raw simultaneously. I'm scared I want it to stop. What's making me more scared is I don't want to leave.


No one can help me when I'm destroying myself. I know this but I feel like I'm not trying hard enough to succeed on either side.


I need help