SEEKING AND FINDING

John was now officially a criminal. It felt odd to actually break the law. There were so many times in his life growing up when people had treated him like a thief or worse even though he'd never broken any rules. Even with this endeavor, he'd tried to go about it the official and legal way first and only decided to break the law when he discovered that all the rules were stacked against him and he'd never be able to do what he wanted to do.

John was in a building he was not supposed to be in. He was wearing a uniform he was not supposed to be wearing. He was in an office he was not supposed to be in. He had the security key he was not supposed to have that went to a computer that he was not supposed to have access to.

John did not need to dig and dig for the information he wanted. One quick search in the database and everything was displayed. John synced the data to his phone, put everything back the way he found it, and got the hell out of there.

After he was back in his normal clothes and had circled the neighborhood a few times to make sure no one was coming after him; he went to the bus stop. As he sat there he looked at the information he'd taken. Right there were the names.

John was not supposed to have been a foster child. He wasn't supposed to have been bounced from home to home. He didn't care that his parents didn't want him. They had an obligation to him. They chose to have sex but then they wanted to get away from the consequences of their actions. They weren't free to choose to just abandon him.

Finding a current address for his parents wasn't very difficult. It was right there on their tax return which John was not supposed to be able to get. But he was growing to care less and less about what he was not supposed to be doing as every moment his anger grew towards the people who were supposed to have taken care of him but didn't.

There was also one more piece of information that threw John into a near rage storm. He had a sibling. Those fucking jackass parents of his didn't want him but they had kept some other child. And what was more, they had made over $200,000 the year he was born so it wasn't like they just couldn't afford to keep him. They gave him away out of being purely selfish. But John had already known that. It said so in the data he'd collected from the DCFS. They had wanted a girl and when John had been born a boy they just threw him away.

John got a small apartment near his parents' home and started working on his plan. He wanted to punish them but he didn't know how. He wanted to take all their money which should have rightfully been his. In a way he felt envious of the way he'd used to be. Like so many other foster children who'd known from a young age they would never have any thing, he'd grown to accept it. Lands, titles, and family were for other children. But now that John knew what had been taken from him, he wanted it and he felt the full insult of what had been done to him. It was his by right and if the law wasn't going to give it to him he had to appeal to something higher than the law.

John worked three jobs. Two of those jobs were just to get cash but the job he had at the restaurant was for something else. It was owned by his parents and John felt he had a connection to the place. They had set him to work in the kitchen washing dishes and John took that opportunity to learn everything he could about that business. In time he knew where every chair was, where every knife and fork went, and even how many cases of patties they went through in a day or a week. He memorized the entire operation in his head all the way down to how many tiles were on the ceiling and where those tiles had come from.

John did not spend all this time at the restaurant. He investigated his family and discovered so many interesting things. Unlike John, who'd finished high school with a 4.0, his idiot little sister finished with a 2.9. She had been very popular and played tennis but she was barely able to complete college and once she graduated she seemed to not really have any ambition in life. She'd been out of school for a year so far and hadn't found a job or started working on any kind of project. She just stayed at home living with John's parents.

As for his parents, his mother ate too much and had become very over weight so it wasn't a surprise to John when he found out his father had a girlfriend on the side. His father's girlfriend used to be a stripper but now worked as a waitress with an inflated salary in one of the other restaurants his parents owned. John had met her once and didn't think she was all that pretty. He wondered at the time if he should call her his step mom. In private that thought had brought a smile to his face. He had an evil step mother. Well, any family is better than no family.

Then came the day that John had perhaps been waiting for. His boss at the restaurant informed him that there was going to be a special event. The owners were coming and all the staff were going to have dinner with them. John had seen his family from a distance but now he was going to be face to face with them. At least he thought he would be face to face with them but he was so far from them during the event that logically he should have had no chance to speak with them.

Something about them made John sick. His stomach turned over while shakes began to originate from the back of his neck and radiate out through his arms. He tasted blood in his mouth as he watched them treat his retard sister as a fucking princess. They were making a big announcement that she would be coming to the restaurant to be an assistant manager. John grit his teeth and wondered if he had it in himself to take a shit in the soup they were going to be served.

John couldn't take any more. He got up, went through the kitchen, and found the back door. It was moments like this that John wished he was a smoker. He'd seen how one of them could almost instantly relax after taking a puff from one of their cancer sticks. John had no such easy out. He was going to have to feel this and let the feeling run its course.

Then a crazy idea entered his head. He could accuse them. He could confront them. He could walk right up to them and let everyone know he was their son and then tell everyone about how his parents were sorry pieces of garbage for giving him away.

He was going to do it. He felt himself building up to it. He was really going to do it. He was going to get everything out in the open. He was going to take this burden off his own shoulders and put it where it belonged. He was going to ...

"Hey," said a voice from the door.

John looked to see who it was. It was her. His sister was right there in front of him. Could he choke her? Could he punch her? But that would be wrong. No matter what his parents did, she was not part of that decision. She was at least innocent of that.

Now that she was right in front of him she seemed uncommonly pretty. She'd obviously inherited their mother's hair. It was blond with just the right amount of curl. She stood five nine or maybe five ten. She was slender with an athletic body but with a slightly larger than average bust.

John took a deep breath and got hold of himself. He put on his fake smile which always seemed to fool everyone. You don't grow up in foster care without learning how to look appreciative about getting something you know is crap.

"Hello," John finally said to her.

"I wanted to introduce myself to everyone and someone said they saw you go out this way. Heather Puteum. How do you do?"

It was odd. John had read all of her papers from college and sort of had this idea of what her voice sounded like. But now that he was hearing her actual voice it was so different. She sounded much more feminine than the brute force feminist she had tried to make herself out to be in her writing.

"John von Brunnen. Nice to meet you."

She smiled at the sound of his name. "I'm happy we'll be working together."

John just nodded and his sister was about to go back inside but then she turned again to him.

"You know, you shouldn't let whatever is making you so upset get in the way of a party. You can be mad about whatever it is later. For right now, don't you think it would be better to have some fun with everyone else?" She reached out and took his arm. She noticed the round white scars on his knuckles that contrasted with the tan on the rest of him. She pulled him with her and they both entered the building together.

John did his best to pretend to be happy and have fun. While the party was still going on John got an idea. No one noticed when he lifted and pocketed the two small items and took them from the dining area. He slipped out again and went to the drug store which was not that far away.

He bought two packages and used the cotton swab to hopefully lift the genetic material from the silverware his parents had used. He got some dna from his own mouth and paid the fee to the clerk. In two weeks he'd have a scientifically verifiable answer to the question of if those were really his parents or not. He already knew they were but more proof was always better.

He got back to the party just in time to see everyone start to go home. John was on clean up duty. While he was working he saw his father talking to that stripper he was fucking. Even as angry as he was with his mother for wanting only a girl, he still felt hatred for his father for cheating on his mother.

The next day at one of his other jobs, John was pulled aside by his boss. His boss praised him for his work and then she said she had John in mind for a promotion. She wanted him to be one of the team leaders. That would make him full time with benefits. It would also mean he'd have to quit the restaurant or at least cut back his hours.

John thought about what he wanted to do. Did he really have a plan to do anything more with his parents than what he'd already done? Not really. He didn't want to give up whatever it was he was doing but the pressures of paying rent and not having a car made his other job look a lot more appealing. Maybe after he was very successful and his sister was an abject failure he could confront his parents and let them know they gave away the wrong child. That was starting to look like a good plan.

That night at the restaurant John made up his mind. He knew he could do his work well enough just knowing that his parents owned this place. In fact, knowing that it was supposed to be his made him put extra care into everything he did. He treated everything in the place like it was his own. It was precious. But if he were honest, it was not his and would never be his. He was living in a fantasy. It was time to go back to the real world. With his sister working at the place John felt there was no way he'd be able to keep his cool. Staying there was out. He'd need another plan.

All during the shift John found his eyes going again and again to his sister. Why had his parents chosen her over him? She disgusted him but he knew that was unfair to her. In truth, it wasn't really her that bothered him. It was the action of his parents that she represented.

When the shift was over John waited for all the other staff to go home and then he went to see the head manager. John put in his two weeks notice and the manager was very disappointed. He begged John to at least stay to work the weekend. John considered it but just as he was about to say yes to that his sister entered the office and just the sight of her changed his mind. He declined.

The head manager was not stupid. He saw how John had changed as soon as he saw her and he wasn't blind to the way John had been looking at her.

"Say Heather, do you know John?"

"We've met." she said.

"I tell you, no one works harder than this young man right here but he says he wants to leave us."

"I'm getting a promotion at my other job." John defended.

"We'll be sorry to lose you." Heather said.

John just smiled at her.

"The thing is, John;" started the head manager again. "We do actually need another assistant manager."

"You should offer it to Molly. She's been here longer."

"I know but I want to offer it to you. You work harder than her and besides, she's not going anywhere."

The head manager watched John's expression as his eyes moved from him to Heather and back to him. Then he saw John put on his fake smile.

"I would love to. You know I'd love to. I love everyone here. But I can't. I've already decided and there's something to be said about how you change once you make a decision."

The head manager saw he was not going to talk John out of this so he let John know he'd be off the schedule from the next Monday. Those last few days he worked at the restaurant his parents owned he didn't see much of Heather. She always came in later than everyone else and left earlier. She was always doing training for her job so John was able to work in peace and then the day came that he didn't work there anymore.

In the weeks that followed John cleared his head, excelled at his job, and could actually get through the whole day without thinking of his parents or his sister or the restaurant. With all the additional money he was making he was going to be able to afford a car and a bigger place in no time. But then the test results came in the mail. He found them in his mailbox on a Friday evening. He opened them right there in the lobby without going up to his apartment. He looked at the data.

The form said 99% but really that meant 100% as far as John was concerned. His mother was in fact his mother and his father was in fact his father. He was in kind of a daze as he rode the elevator up to the 8th floor. Everything was silent. He felt a doom come over his face. As he stood in his living room he felt his heart start to race and race. It wasn't pumping lightly either. Each push of blood through his body was like some great drum being pounded. He felt like he was going to tear out of his skin. It felt like there was some sort of resistance in his veins and his heart had to work extra hard to force his blood to circulate.

Tears fell from his eyes and he had to wash his face to regain his composure.

He found himself walking to the restaurant. He went in and the hostess almost didn't recognize him in a suit. She was happy to see him and she put him at a table with a great view. Now that John was here he guessed he might as well order some food.

"Hello, John. It's nice to see you again." Heather said. "I'll be your server for this evening."

"Where's Kevin?"

"Would you rather he wait on you?"

Sigh. "No. I guess it doesn't really matter."

"I'll try to do a good job. So, would you like to start with a drink?"

John ordered his meal and expected Heather to be gone for some time before she returned but she came back right away with a glass of water. Then, instead of just leaving him to himself she sat down at his table. This got John to raise and eyebrow.

"How's your new job going?"

"It was a promotion and it's going well. How about you? Do you like working in the food services industry?"

The question made her put a sarcastic smile on her face. "Well enough." she said while her body telecast that; no, in fact she did not like working in a restaurant.

"Your parents never did any work in the shop. Why did you choose to do so?"

"I have to do something."

"I would have thought you'd want to live in New York or Milan."

"That is oddly specific."

"You majored in fashion design. If you want to work in fashion I would have figured those to be the places to go."

"Did you go to college?"

"I did."

"And what was your major?"

"Pre law."

"So why aren't you in law school?"

"Who says I'm not?"

"You don't work as much as you and go to law school on the side."

"The law and I aren't very good friends at the moment."

"What you mean to say is you couldn't pass your LSAT."

"I never took it."

"So, what's your plan for life? You're just going to work in an office for thirty years and then retire?"

"That's not a bad plan." he said.

"I guess not." she admitted.

"The more important question is what's your plan. What are you going to do with your life?"

"Honestly; ... I ... I don't know."

"Tell me, what do you think of Jenny?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Let's not talk about her."

"Why not?"

"Come on. If you're asking me about her then you know why."

"So, when are you going to fire her?"

"My dad won't let me fire her."

"Does your mother know?"

"She pretends like she doesn't but she does."

"Before your parents were married your mother said in a speech at a feminist rally that if she ever had a husband who cheated on her she'd smash his face in, then leave and never look back."

"You seem to know a lot about my family."

"Due diligence. If I was going to work for you then I was going to know what kind of people were signing my paychecks."

"And what did you discover?"

"There's a chance I might know about a few things that you don't."

She laughed at him. "Like what?"

"You should ask your parents if they know what happened to your older brother."

"I don't have a brother."

"I actually met him once, a long time ago."

"I think you might have us confused with someone else."

John was going to elaborate more but just then the head manager came over. He hinted to Heather that she was actually supposed to be getting John's food for him. Heather took her leave and the head manager thanked John for coming and said he hoped John found everything 100% to his satisfaction.

John's meal came and instead of Heather returning it was Kevin who brought it to him. As he ate he decided to end this. He wasn't going to bother his parents or his sister anymore. He wasn't their son. Sure, physically he was but no one knew that. Not even they knew that. Only John knew that. He legally was not their son.

He thought about it and he actually didn't want them to be his parents. He started to feel perhaps that he'd been lucky they gave him away. They had raised a girl who had no clue what to do with her life. She had no goals, no dreams, and no passion. She could not be his sister.

John was his own man. He'd make his own family. He'd make his own future. The time for thinking about what should have been his was over and it was time to go and get something of his own that he would not have to share with anyone.

Deep down he knew that the material things were not what he really wanted. There was something he wanted but he didn't know how to put words to it. It was some kind of feeling he wanted. Like a hug or ... something. But that was never going to happen. Even if he told them who he really was, that was never going to happen. Was this what people called closure? Must be. Anyway, time to move on. Time for him to live his life.

John looked up and saw Heather looking at him. She had noticed that John was left handed the same as she and her father. Without knowing what was going through her mind John lifted up his fork to solute her and she lifted up the pencil she had just been using to write something on a ticket.

When his meal was finished he tried to pay and leave a nice tip but the head manager would not hear of it. He said the meal was on the house and the manager himself provided the tip out of his own pocket. He said he was just so glad to have John as a guest.

As John walked home he heard someone running up behind him. It was his sister.

Stop. He was going to have to stop that. She wasn't his sister. She was just ... the owner's daughter. That's all she was. She was just a woman like any other woman.

"Hey. Um, I was wondering if I could have your phone number."

"Get it from the office."

"I know I could do that but it seems unprofessional. Is it ok if I ask you for it?"

John stopped walking and took out his phone. He showed her his number and she copied it.

"Great, so I'll give you a call."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"Well, you like movies don't you?"

"I haven't seen many."

"Then it's time to fix that. I get off at 11."

"I know."

"Right. Because ... Anyway. We might be able to catch a midnight show."

"I wouldn't know."

"I'll call, if you're not busy or anything."

"I'm free all night."

"Great. Don't fall asleep on me. Promise."

"Ok." John thought this sounded childish. "I promise."

She went back to work and John just headed home. He wondered if she really would call him. If she did would he really go to the movies with her? Why not?

It was about 11:15 when she called him. She wanted to know if he was ready but then even though he was she didn't feel like going to the movies until after she'd had a shower. By the time she went home to John's parents' house ...

Stop, he told himself. They weren't his parents. They had nothing to do with him. They were just some people. They were random people, not his parents.

So by the time she went home and had a shower at HER parents' house, it was too lake to see anything at the movie theater. That should have been it but for seemingly no reason she asked if she could come by his place with some DVDs. John told her he didn't have a DVD player. She offered to bring her own but John told her he actually didn't have a tv either.

She wanted to come by anyway and she drove over to his building with her laptop which had a DVD player built into it. She invited herself up and when John opened his door he discovered she'd also brought wine with her.

"You live like a Spartan." she said.

"I never have time to go shopping."

"Where can we sit?"

"The only place I have is my bed but I'm guessing you don't want to do that."

"Um ... No, that's fine. Have to make due, right?"

"Sure."

She set the laptop up on the little coffee table that was John's only table and they sat next to each other on the bed watching the film that started.

"I've been meaning to ask you," she began. "Why don't you like me?"

"I don't dislike you."

"Really? I sort of got the feeling you did."

"I don't know why."

"I don't know. It's like, everyone is so worried to say or do anything around me but I know it isn't me. It's because of my father. But you don't act like that."

"Well, what has your father got to do with me?"

"Good point."

"Now can I ask you a question?"

"Ok."

"Why did you want to see me tonight?"

"I don't know. There's something about you. I can't put my finger on it. But ... well um ... there's something about your hair. Does that make any sense? I mean, I know we're not supposed to go off looks but there something about your eyes and your hair that is just so interesting."

"So I'm just a pretty face?"

"Don't take it like that. That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I mean, I feel I can trust you. I don't know why but when I look at you I feel like I could tell you anything and you wouldn't judge me. Isn't that weird?"

"A little bit. You basically just met me."

"I know and it sounds stupid but don't you feel that?"

John thought for a moment. Yeah, he actually sort of did. When he thought of her as the idea of her, he felt himself being angry but when he actually looked at her real person in the face he felt nothing but positive feelings for her. That was strange.

She looked at him in the eyes and he returned her gaze. She ran her fingers through his hair and they brought their faces closer together. His face confused her. She couldn't tell if he was confident, or angry, or sad. She noticed the scar above his lip on the right side. A proper mustache would hide it but John was clean shaven. She didn't know why but she felt like she wanted to care for him.

John knew what she was going to do and he let her do it. She put her arms around him and she came close to him. They were both ignoring the film and she nestled her face into his chest.

"This feels good." she said.

John didn't say anything but in his mind he had to agree. This felt very good. It seemed to satisfy something in him that he hadn't even known was hungry before. It was like an exposed nerve was finally being soothed. There was a warmth between them. He felt his entire body relax and his usual stiff frame loosened up.

It was a very fluid motion to move from that sitting position to one that saw them both horizontal on his bed. They laid there together for a while watching the movie but then Heather asked if John had an air conditioner. He didn't. All he had was a fan. Heather debated in her mind what she should do. The fan was going to do her no good with the type of clothes she was wearing. But she couldn't just get comfortable in this guy's house, she barely knew him. But somehow, she felt like she could trust him. She felt safe with him.

"We're both adults, right."

"Sure." John agreed.

Heather got out of his bed and stripped down to her panties and the tshirt she had on under her blouse. She got out of her bra and did her shoulder gymnastics to get it off without taking off her shirt. Then she turned Johns fan on and felt a refreshing gust of wind cool her off.

She turned back to John who was still wearing pants and a polo shirt and she laughed. What would he think of her? It didn't matter. She got back into bed with him and he held her. She turned to him and looked at him in the eyes. She kissed his face and he flinched at first but she tried to let him know he had nothing to fear from her. She kissed him again and then she moved in for a third kiss. The third kiss was not on his cheek. She aimed it for his lips. Together they shared a light, warm peck on the lips. It gave Heather butterflies. She felt happy. She smiled and then turned to look at the movie. She was exactly where she wanted to be.

As the movie continued John found himself not looking at it. He was looking at Heather's legs. He did a gambit to put his hands on her and she didn't object. He ran the tips of his fingers along her skin. She was so smooth. There was something about the shape of her hips and the way it all just moved together that was very sexy.

Sexy?

Sexy!

Yeah. ... Sexy.

She was sexy. He smiled.

Ok. On the one hand, he shouldn't try to do anything sexual with her. She was biologically his sister. But he legally wasn't supposed to know that. That legal status had been stripped from him. So it was sort of like he was legally obligated to act like she was not his sister and even if she biologically was his sister he was legally not supposed to know that so he had to act as if he didn't know that.

Of course on the other hand, he did know that. That was the entire reason he moved to this town in the first place. He came here looking, if not for her specifically then for her parents, who were also his parents.

His body felt like taking action but John's mind restrained himself. Then the movie ended. His sister didn't move. John pointed at the computer and said that the movie was over but his sister didn't move. John got up out of the bed and to his surprise, Heather was sleeping.

The next morning she was still sleeping when John woke up. He didn't really have anything to make breakfast with so he walked down to the fast food place and got two breakfast meals. When he came back into his apartment he found her sitting on his bed getting her clothes in order.

"Good morning." he said.

"Hey. Did we ... um ... you know?"

"No. You fell asleep."

"And you didn't try anything?"

"You were sleeping. What could I do?"

"Nevermind."

"I got you breakfast. I hope you like pancakes."

She ate quickly so she'd be able to get home before her parents could think of too many questions for her. As she was leaving she turned back to him and in a very automatic way she said "Bye, I love you."

"You do?" Even as John was countering her statement something in him felt very pleased to hear those words. That was actually the first time in his life he'd heard those words directed at him.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Force of habit."

"Whoa. You can't say it and then take it back."

"But you know what ..."

"Say it again."

"Huh?"

"Say it again."

"I love you?"

"Yeah, but say it like you mean it."

She looked at him and then took a breath. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Really?"

"Why not?"

She leaned into him and gave him a peck on the lips. "Ok then. I ... I love you."

"See you later."

John was left in his apartment wondering to himself how much of this he should take seriously. He needed an exit strategy. While he was still thinking of one Heather called him on the phone. They didn't talk about anything important. How could they? She really just wanted to hear his voice. John was unaccustomed to being on the phone for so long. His arm was getting tired and he did not like how the minutes and then hours were just passing by without being productive.

"You know so much about my family. Tell me a little about yours."

"There's not much to tell. Um ... there's me of course."

"Tell me about your parents."

"Oh, well ... my mom ... she ... died."

"Aw. I'm sorry."

"It was a long time in coming but it still hurt when it happened. And after that my father and I really drifted apart. He just loved my mother so much that when she died he just seemed to completely shut down. He pushed everyone away, even me."

"That's so sad. I'm so sorry."

"Anyway, he died not too long ago and I had an older brother but he ... died fighting the terrorists."

"You've really had a hard life then."

"Not as hard as some."

"So, where did your family first come from?" she asked as her way of searching for a happier topic.

"Oh, well, we've been her since forever. Our original family name was Wells. Back during World War II my great grandfather changed it to von Brunnen as a way of protesting interment camps. Well in German is Brunnen you see. He legally had his name changed and then went down to the sheriff's office and dared them to arrest him for having a German sounding name."

"So he was like a hero sticking up for the little guy."

"Yeah, I guess he was."

It was lunch time by the time he was finally off the phone with her and she wanted to come have lunch with him before she went to the restaurant for work. She had made something at ... HER PARENTS' house. It was a very light and fresh dish which was nice but John knew it would not tide him over until dinner.

When she left his apartment for the second time that day she again said she loved him and he said it back to her. She leaned in again for a kiss but instead of just a peck, this kiss was much deeper and had much stronger sexual overtones to it.

Heather thought it was a great kiss and she went off to work happier than John had ever seen her. John was left there analyzing and brooding. He had to make a decision. It was clear what direction his sister wanted this to go. They were not going to just be friends. She thought she was dating him.

Ok, so he's not supposed to date her. But why? Because she was his sister. But he was not supposed to know that. They had the same parents but they were not supposed to have the same parents. She was his sister but she was not supposed to be his sister.

John felt like this whole thing was unfair. He could not receive any of the benefits of being her brother but somehow that also meant he could not get the benefits that came with being no relation. He thought about her body. Those long legs. Those perfect breasts. That thin waist. She was definitely in shape. And her skin was so smooth. And she was so pretty.

John didn't actually feel sexual towards her but he felt like he wanted something with her. But what could he have besides something sexual. There was nothing else. They weren't going to be just friends. That never worked, at least not for John.

He was almost there. He was almost to the point of deciding that he was going to get either one benefit or the other. He wanted to see his parents. He wanted to know what they would say. What did they really think about him?

He walked down to their house. He rang the doorbell and John's father answered the door.

"Hello. Can I help you?"

"I have a message for you."

"Ok. What is it?"

"Can I come in?"

The older man grimaced. "We're a little busy in here. What is the message about?"

"It's from your son."

John's father was taken aback by that and he stammered when he asked John to come in.

John stood and waited in the extremely large kitchen of the home. His mother eventually came waddling in with his father following her.

"He better not be wasting my time." said the fat woman.

"Please sit down Mr. ..." his father began but then he realized he didn't know John's name.

"von Brunnen." John said and then he proceeded to stand even as his parents both sat before him.

"Ok, so, what's the message?" asked his father with fear in his voice.

"He's dead." John examined their reactions. The fat woman wasn't bothered at all. There was no change in her but his father seemed to be devastated. "He wanted me to let you know his fate."

"Is that all?" asked John's mother.

"How?" John's father cut in.

"He bled to death." Again the mother was unfazed but the father had a look of horror on him.

"Why? What happened?"

"He was being brought to a court hearing on some matter. His social worker stopped for gas and while she left him alone in the vehicle he found a document in some file she had. I don't know what it said but after that he was obsessed with turning himself into a girl. He thought that if he could be a girl then his parents would finally love him and come to get him."

John's mother just rolled her eyes at this. It was clear she did not care to hear these kinds of details but Johns father was hanging on every word.

"But how did he die? What happened to him?"

"He ... cut himself ... down there. The staff at the orphanage found him in a pool of blood in his cell. They rushed him to the hospital but by the time they got there it was too late. He was DOA."

"Orphanage? But he was supposed to have been adopted."

"He wasn't."

John saw a tear roll from his father's eye as his father brought a hand up to cover his mouth but then he heard his mother speak.

"You finished? That's five minutes of my life I'll never get back."

"Shut up you stupid bitch." John's father yelled at her.

"Great, and now you're going to have one of your childish temper tantrums."

John's father bore his teeth. "That was our son."

"Don't blame me. It's not my fault you males go hurting yourselves."

John's father flew into a rage. He backhanded his wife so hard she fell out of her chair. There was an audible thud when her large body hit the floor.

"Get up. Get up NOW." the husband screamed at his wife. "You fucking whore. Get your fucking fat ass up."

His wife was not moving fast enough for his liking and so John's father knelt down next to her. She tried to put her arms up to defend herself but he held both her hands in just one of his. Then he balled up his fist and punched his wife in the center of her face. Then he punched her again. Then again. Blood few up into the air. The next blow was about to come down when someone grabbed the husband's arm.

"Sir, are you hurt?" John asked his father.

His father looked confused for a moment.

"Are you ok?" John repeated. "She nearly killed you. She didn't stab you with the knife did she?"

"What?"

"If you need a witness to tell the police what happened, don't worry, I saw everything. It was the most clear textbook case of self defense I ever saw."

His father finally understood what John was saying. The two men stood up and shook hands. The father took a hard swallow and then thanked John for bringing news of his son, even if it was sad news.

John left them, not knowing what either of his parents would do next. There son was dead. He'd made it so. Now John was free to be his own man.

Later that night when Heather got off of work she came by and found John feeling very happy with himself.

"Sorry, I smell like food." she said.

"Don't worry. I'm used to it."

"It wouldn't be out of order to ask if I could use your shower, would it?"

"Go ahead. Shall I watch you undress or would you prefer privacy?"

She laughed. "Um ... You can watch if you want."

John stood in the doorway of the bathroom and admired her body. She played like she was bashful but then let him see her trimmed pussy hair and cute pink nipples. The show ended when she got into the shower.

Could a legal fiction overcome objective reality? John felt like Casandra from the old legends. He knew the truth that no one else did. But in these modern times humans didn't live by truth. They lived by convenience. His study of the law had taught him that. That was the reason why men who should have been disqualified for public office were allowed to hold power. That was why the guarantees against government tyranny were ignored. That was why a man guilty of murder would only be punished for aggravated battery and a man guilty of nothing would have to be punished at least a little to satisfy the judge. That was why every law from the constitution to the local ordinance was a dead letter unless you had the violence to force others to your will.

In truth, he was her brother. But for his own convenience and hers he would not be that. He would be something else. He would be what she wanted him to be. And then he would mold her into what he wanted her to be. And through her everything that had been taken from him would be restored.

John waited for the girl to finish her shower. She exited his bathroom with just a towel around herself. John smiled at her and she giggled. Then she ran to him and threw herself into his arms. She couldn't wait to be kissed by him. In no time at all she was on her back in his bed and he was on top of her. As they kiss she ran her hands through his hair and then let her hands felt the strength in his arms. She felt the muscles of this chest.

John put his weight on his right hand and then with his left hand feel her body. She arched her back when he brought his fingers to her pussy. She opened her towel to reveal herself to him. She spread her legs giving him access. His middle finger slid along the smooth, wet folds of her sex hole. John brought his face down and took one of her nipples into his mouth. She pressed his head into her chest with one hand and grabbed at his body with the other.

John's shirt came off and Heather gasped when she saw the scars he wore on his body.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Another time." he answered and then he kissed her. She reached for his pants to get him out of them.

It was strange in a way. This felt like putting the last piece of a jigsaw into place. Something would now be complete. Doing this thing was not what scared him. What actually scared him was what to do afterwards. Would he be willing to dedicate his life to this woman? Would she do that for him?

The head of his cock approached her pussy. She tried to pull at him to get him to go faster.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

"I love you and more."

"Tell me."

"Do you love me?" she asked.

"I do because you are mine."

"I want to be yours. Take me."

John began to enter her. She was wet and tight. Her body reacted to him. She lost her concentration. She threw her head from side to side and John began to increase the speed with which he fucked her.

John kissed her neck and then bent down far enough to suck on one of her tits.

Then he stopped. He pushed his cock all the way into her and held it there. He brought her right to the edge of her orgasm but he wouldn't let her have it. He pulled out of her and she went into a near panic.

John grabbed her body and turned her over. He put her on all fours and spread her knees apart. He put his hand of the small of her back to tell her what to do as he pushed it down. Then he entered her from behind.

That position was very visually stimulating for John. He looked down at her beautiful ass and watched as his own cock went in and out of her pussy and her pussy lips going with it part way.

Again, she was ready to cum. She shuttered but again John denied her. He pulled out of her and pushed her body to the bed. She bit her lip and started to rub her pussy. She wanted to finish. She needed it.

John put his head down on his pillow and let his cock point directly up into the air. Heather got on top of him and she had a very clear look of relief on her face when she was able to fill her pussy with his cock again.

She put her hands down onto his chest and then she stiffened her body and she moved up and down his cock. John reached up and cupped one of her breasts. A red blush passed over her entire body and then John felt her begin the orgasm he'd twice kept from her.

When she was finally finished she locked her body into position and for a few moments was unable to move. When she did move she just got off of him and put her body beside his.

"Heather." John said. "I'm not finished."

She took a deep breath and then she sat up. John's cock was still as hard as ever. She leaned over and took his dick with her pussy juices on it into her mouth. She was pretty good at giving head. Now that John wasn't in her pussy he felt like it would be ok if he let out his semen. He hadn't really realized it before but he had intentionally held himself back for some reason. But now there was no such restriction. He let his cum blast out and his sister swallowed every drop of it.

Before falling asleep she whispered to him. "I'm yours. I love you."

The next morning she awoke before him and she had what she thought was a good idea. She took John to her home and made him breakfast.

John sat at the little breakfast table and watched her as she cooked for him. When her father came into the kitchen to say good morning to his daughter he saw John. Heather introduced John to her father as her boyfriend. Neither John nor his father said anything about the fact that they'd met before.

"Where's mom?"

"Out. I don't know when she's coming back."

When her father left the kitchen John got a very kinky idea into his head. When his sister served the food John stood up behind her. He pulled down her shorts and her panties with them. She tried to quietly protest but John reminded her that she was his. She gave him the access he desired and his dick found its mark.

Right there in the kitchen John fucked Heather from behind. It was difficult to remain standing so Heather got down on the floor. While she was moving John took the opportunity to get her panties all the way off. He got behind her with his dick out and they started fucking again.

"We're going to get caught."

"I don't care."

"But ..."

"Cum for me."

"Ok."

John built her up and he believed her when she started to buck her hips in her orgasm. When she was finished John asked her if she was ready for breakfast. She nodded that she was and he presented his cock to her. She sucked until he came in her mouth again and again she swallowed like the obedient girl she was.

After fucking they enjoyed the food that Heather had cooked. John smiled when his father entered the kitchen again and Heather laughed.

"Daddy, I was hoping it wouldn't be a problem if I brought John up and I showed him my room."

"Whatever you want to do, sweetheart."

And so after breakfast John and Heather were alone in her bedroom. John looked at the walls and wondered if there were any other bedrooms in the house. Of course he figured that his parents had their own bedroom but was he to have shared this room with his sister or would he have had another room. Another possibility was that this would have been his room and his sister would have had another. At any rate he felt he wanted to make this room his.

"We just did it." she protested.

"And now we're going to do it again."

"You really like sex."

"And you don't?"

"I do, but only with you."

He stripped her of her clothes and she got under her covers. The air conditioning of the house had actually chilled the room to the point when one would want to sleep with a blanket, if they were to sleep. John had another idea.

His cock was hard again and her pussy was wet again. She wrapped her legs around his body and he started fucking his sister for the third time.

The two of them lost track of time. They fucked for the better part of two hours and John did not care if his father did or didn't know what was going on. Finally, he was home and he was going to enjoy it before the facade melted away. He was home but he was an outsider. He was an intruder. But this is where he was meant to be.

Eventually it was time for Heather to go to work at the restaurant. She packed a bag with some things and asked John if it would be ok for her to sleep at his place when she got off.

For John this was an entirely new beginning. His relationship with Heather got very serious very quickly. She had practically moved in with him. He was sharing a car with her at first but soon he had his own car and then they moved into a larger place together. They lived together the same as a married couple might and John thought that he heard some hints from Heather that she was sort of looking for matrimony to happen.

John's father started openly seeing his stripper and in time Jenny was going to have a baby. From the ultrasound it was discovered that the baby was going to be a boy and John's father was overjoyed to finally have a son.

John was surprised at just how well he got along with his father. They often went fishing together and twice went duck hunting.

It remained a mystery as to what happened to John's mother. However, a year after John had first introduced himself to them John's father got a letter from his wife. She was in jail and she was asking him to come and bail her out. John's father just said he would let her rot.

John had another idea. He went to see her. She came to the window and picked up the phone.

"What are you doing here? Where's my husband? Tell him I'm sorry. I want to come home. I promise I ..." John noticed that she'd started to really get a lot thinner.

John took the phone from his ear until he could see that she was done talking. She looked at him and then he put the phone back to his ear.

"What?" she asked.

"My girlfriend tells me I should call you mother, now. So, ok, mommy. I came to tell you something. I lied before."

"About what?"

"I'm not dead. Far from it. I'm alive and I'm here. And I'm fucking your daughter, ... mommy."

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"I'll let my father know you asked of him. I can't say when he'll have time to come down here and see you for himself. He's expecting another son to be born to him. I'm going to have a little brother."

John's mother just looked confused. She honestly didn't know what John was talking about.

"How do I know your father?"

"When you return to your cell I want you to look in a mirror. From there I want you to think about your crimes and what you did to me. And then I want you to look at your face and beg my mother for forgiveness."

"You!" she said as the realization dawned on her.

She had more to say but John took the phone from his ear and hung it up. He just sat there and looked at her as she tried to say something. She waved at him and she yelled but John could hear none of it. He watched as the guards came and took his mother away. He didn't know how long she'd be in this place but now he felt motivated to move things along to the next level.

On his way home, to the home that he shared with his sister with the beautiful tits, perfect ass, and tight pussy; he went and got a ring.

That evening he proposed to her in the restaurant and she accepted him with all the staff to witness it.

That night, after he had fucked her twice, he asked about her last name.

"I'll have to change is soon." she answered. "Heather von Brunnen. I like that."

"I was sort of thinking about it, though. What if we buck tradition? Huh? Your family is so well established. Who says you have to take my name? What if I take yours?"

"You want my name?"

"Why not?"

"Then you'd just be John Puteum. Sort of boring, don't you think."

"John Puteum. I have to say I like the sound of that. I really like the sound of that."

"You do?"

"Oh, yeah. Baby, please let me have your name."

"But your name is so much cooler."

"Not to me. It sounds made up. Besides, you once wrote that you'd never take your husband's name."

"That was before I met you. And that was more my mother talking than me. Besides, your name has a story and history behind it. Puteum is just a bunch of sounds that mean nothing."

"Ok. How about we swap? I'll be John Puteum and you can be Heather von Brunnen."

"It wouldn't be the same. I want to be what you are."

"And I want to be what you are."

"I love you, so much." she said and she hugged him. Even more than sex he always longed for her hugs and kisses and other little signs of affection.

"I guess" John started, "if you want to be a von Brunnen then I won't stop you."

"Would you really take my name?" she asked.

"Absolutely."

"No other guy would ever want to do that. You know that right."

"I'm not like any other guy. I'm me."

"And you really want to be a Puteum of all things."

"It's my dream."

"Dream? Well, how about I tell you about my dream. My dream is to be your wife with your name. In honor of your grandfather who was braver than anyone in my family has ever been, I vote we should carry on his legacy and be the von Brunnens."

She climbed on top of him and got his dick up for sex again. She lowered her pussy onto him and brought her lips to his. After the kiss she brought her mouth to his ear.

"I'm Mrs. Heather von Brunnen."

"A good wife with a good name."

"But don't worry. There will be a John Puteum. My father is naming his son after you."

"Our father." John added. "If we marry than he's my father too."

Heather laughed. "And does that make me your sister?"

"I never thought about it that way." John said with a huge smile on his face. "But even if you were my sister I'd still marry you."

"I can't believe we're talking about incest."

"If I was your brother, you know, like if we found out babies were switched at birth or something, would you still want to be with me?"

"Ok, I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Well, it's brought up now. So answer me. Would you still want my dick inside you if you knew I was your brother?"

"I guess, yes. I don't know. I don't have a brother. It's hard to imagine."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But it's a bit of a turn on to talk about it."

"Really. You like that?"

"Oh, yeah. Call me your brother."

"My brother."

"Yeah, that's it. Say it again."

"My brother. Yes, brother. Fill me with that big hard cock of yours brother. Are you my big brother or little brother?"

"Big brother obviously. I'm older than you."

"Yes big brother. You're the best brother ever. Yes, big brother, fuck me. Fuck your little sister."

"Ok sis, you want it."

"Yes, I want it."

"But, what if I get you pregnant? What would we do?"

"We'll have a baby and we'll love it and take care of it. And most of all, we'll all be together as a family."

"And our father will be a grandfather."

"So, how many children does my big brother want with his little sister wife?"

"I'm so happy you aren't grossed out by this little fantasy of mine."

"What's to be grossed out about?"

It was on John and Heather's wedding day, right before she was going to go up and take vows that her father came to see her in the bridal chamber. He brought Heather's little brother, who was still just a couple weeks old and so tiny.

Heather held little John and looked at him try to hold onto her finger.

"Heather, there's something I have to tell you. I should have told you a long time ago but there never seemed like the right time. Now isn't the right time but ... anyway. You used to have another brother."

Heather's face snapped to look at her father. "What?"

"It's true. Before you were born your mother and I had a son. But your mother didn't want to raise a boy so we put him up for adoption."

"I have a brother?"

"Yes."

"Where is he?"

"He's gone. We found out a while back that he died."

Heather felt a wave of grief come over her. "And you tell me this on my wedding day."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. This might be the last time I get to tell you. But you can ask your husband for the details."

"I don't understand."

"He was the one that brought the news of what happened to your brother. I haven't had the courage to ask him for anything else but maybe you can."

"Wait, John told you? Go back to the beginning. Something's not right here."

"John came to us and told us what happened to him."

"How would he know?"

"He said he knew him."

"How?"

"I don't know. I never asked him."

"Ok, so I had an older brother that you gave away, and later John met him, and then my brother died and then John came here and told you about it."

"That's as much as I know."

"Where is my brother buried? What was his name? When did all this happen?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry."

"You never tried to find out?"

"It's hard for me. I've wished for a long time that I never gave that boy away."

"How old would he be now?"

Her father told her the age after thinking for a moment.

Heather felt her jaw bone pop right before asking the next question. "When was his birthday?"

Her father spoke the date and it seemed to confirm what her subconscious mind was starting to realize. Back when it had been John's birthday he had not wanted it celebrated. He had not even wanted her to tell anyone that it was his birthday. Of course she knew his birthday. It was on his driver's license and it was on his work records from when he worked at the restaurant.

"This goes to show us." her father said. "Family has to stick together. Family has to take care of each other. Otherwise, we're nothing and we fall."

Heather slowly nodded and hander her brother back to her father. He opened the door and handed the baby to his mother and then Heather and her father got in position to walk down the aisle.

On Heater's side there were friends and family. There were people who worked for her father. There were distant relatives who were only related by marriage. Then on John's side there were only his friends and his coworkers.

As they walked down the aisle Heather whispered a question to her father.

"Daddy, what does our last name mean?"

"Waterwell." he answered.

"Well as in Wells." she gasped.

She arrived at the altar. Well, it wasn't really an altar. It was just a table that was set up by the wedding company to look like an altar. The guy wasn't a priest or minister either. He just had the license from the state to officiate at weddings. His robes were all just veneer.

She stood there through the ceremony wondering if she was right. She was wondering what she would do. But she wasn't sure, she just suspected. Was that enough to call all this off? If she called it all off and then John turned out not to be her brother then she might lose him. If she went ahead with it and then she found out later that they were siblings then she could get an annulment. But how long would it take to get that information?

The time came for her to answer the question.

"I do." she said. Then she looked at John and he answered the same.

"Then by the power vested in me be the state of ... I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

John pulled her to him and he kissed her. In that kiss she felt all the love she'd built up for him over all this time. In that moment, she didn't care even if he were her brother. He was the man she loved and she was going to enjoy her wedding day. And afterwards she was going to enjoy her honeymoon. If she discovered that they were siblings after that then she'd deal with it then. For now, this was her big day and nothing was going to take it or him away from her.

The wedding ceremony went well and everyone had a great time at the feast held afterwards. Heather danced with John and she felt that everything was perfect. Her life was perfect. Did she have the courage o destroy everything if she found out that one small detail?

Heather held onto John as he carried her over the threshold of their honeymoon suite. It was so difficult to think of him as her brother. It seemed impossible. He couldn't possibly be her brother. The more she thought about it the more she felt certain of the idea not making any sense.

He put her on the bed and then started to get her out of her dress. She was down to just her bra and panties when John started getting out of his tux. He didn't stop with just his underwear. He exposed his dick to her.

He reached for her bra and pop; it was off of her. She felt exposed in front of him. The thought kept going through her head. What if he was her brother.

He reached for her panties but she stopped him.

"I have to ask you something." she said.

"Anything for you."

"And tell me the truth."

"I always do."

Heather sat up and John sat down in front of her on the bed.

"I don't even know how to ask this."

"Are we finally going to talk about how many people we've been with before?"

"No. I wanted to ask about what you told my father."

"I talk you our father all the time."

"See, that right there. That's what I mean. Tell me about that."

"About what?"

"Why do you insist on calling him our father? Not just my father."

"We're married now."

"John, I love you. Just tell me. Tell me the truth." She almost felt like she was going to start crying if he didn't trust her enough to include her in this knowledge.

"What do you want me to say? Just ask and I'll tell you."

The words sounded so strange as they formed in her mind. She knew they would sound funny when they came out but she couldn't find a smoother way to put it.

"Are you my brother?"

John smiled. "Yeah, baby. I'm your brother. Your big hard brother."

"I didn't mean it like that. Not sexual. For real. Like, if we went and got a dna test, what would it say? And tell me the truth, whatever that is. You don't have to sugar coat it. I'm not scared. I can take it."

John's composure changed. He became serious. "You're really asking if your father and I took a paternity test, what would it say. I already did one."

"You did? And?"

"And he's my father."

Heather's eyes grew wide and she seemed like she was going to freak out. Her mouth hung open and her breathing became erratic.

"And you knew that and you had sex with me."

"Yes."

John tried to reach out to her but she pushed away his hands. "Why? Why? What is ... I mean ... How could ..."

"I wasn't supposed to know."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"The information on who my parents were was sealed under a court order. I was never supposed to find out. Even our parents were never supposed to find out."

"I don't understand what you're talking about. We're brother and sister, really, brother and sister and you've put your thing in me I don't know how many times."

"And now we're more than brother and sister. Now we're husband and wife."

"You should have told me."

"I tried to tell you but you didn't believe me."

"And why did you tell my dad you were dead?"

"They were never going to accept me as their son so I wanted to end it."

They both sat there in silence for a moment. John started to make plans in his head as to what he was going to do.

"Where are you going?" Heather asked as John started getting into some clothes.

"You want me to leave so I'm leaving."

"I never said that."

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. I have to think."

"Do you want to get a divorce?"

"We can just get an annulment. It's illegal for siblings to be married."

"You're going to have a hard time convincing a court that we're blood related."

"Why? We can just show them the test."

"It's inadmissible. Only dna tests administered by the court ..."

"Ok, we just go and tell them. And then they look it up."

"Again, inadmissible. I am 100% legally not your brother. Even if a judge knows that we are biologically brother and sister he can't rule in our favor because of the previous court order. As far as the law is concerned, we're not siblings and can never be allowed to be siblings. I can never inherit anything from my parents and if I ever tried to change my name to theirs the courts wouldn't let it go through."

"I see."

"So if you want out of this marriage then we have to get a divorce."

"So they don't care that we just got married?"

"Remember when we went to get the marriage license. Remember the look on the clerk's face. Remember what she told us. I think there's a good chance she saw right there on her computer screen what the real deal was, but she couldn't say anything. If she did she'd lose her job and might even go to jail."

"And you've had to deal with that your whole life."

"Well, yeah, I suppose."

"They're all against us." she commented.

"Well, they're certainly not for us. But listen. I know you might feel like I did some really terrible thing to you but I'm here because I love you. I married you because I love you. I want to be with you."

"I wish you would have gone about it another way. Why did you have sex with me?"

"Because you wanted me to."

"Don't put this on me. I didn't know."

"You're right. But I wanted to be with you. If there was another way, I didn't see it at the time. And now we're here. We can't go back to the past and do things differently. We have to work with where we are now. So as of right now, what do you want to do?"

"They really don't care that we're siblings. They just let us get married."

"Yep."

"And my father ... our father thinks you're dead."

"The way I see it, we could go tell the whole world we're related and no one would believe us, or we could just keep it to ourselves and act like we don't know."

"And stay married." she added.

"And stay married."

"You want to be married to your sister. Your real sister."

"I'm here, aren't I."

She got off the bed and went to him. She put her arms around him.

"Do you love me?" She asked. "Not like a sister but like a wife. Do you love me? Do you really love me."

"I do, and more."

Heather swallowed. "Then stay with me. I'm yours."

"Do you love me?"

"I do. I love you so much."

He put her back on the bed. He put his bod over hers and he kissed her. She knew she was kissing her brother but more than that she was kissing her husband. But what would they do about children? She'd have to look into it. She didn't know. Maybe they could adopt. Or maybe they could do the invitro thing. How did the incest thing actually work? She'd have to study up on it.

Heather felt her husband remove her panties. He got between her legs. He was putting his cock inside her. She opened her eyes and looked up at her brother. He was her brother. He was her husband. This is where she was. She could have a happy life with him or she could reject him and throw this life away. She didn't want to reject him. She wanted to keep him. He'd spent too long away from home. Now he was home with her. Now they were family.