33:Son of Sparda DxD By: DarkAkatsuk1 (Devil May Cry x HSDxD)

Fic type:Crossover

Dante in HSDxD. Chaos ensues.

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Son of Sparda DxD

By: DarkAkatsuk1

Imagine Dante's surprise when a bizarre development in a mission gone awry lead him to a new reality, complete with all the things he'd expect in his own world… EXCEPT he was a teenager once again and had no apparent way back home. Well then. If he's given a chance to live his youth again, he may as well make the best of it. Didn't make his debt problem any better though…

Rated: Fiction M - English - Supernatural - Dante - Chapters: 16 - Words: 149,484 - Reviews: 1,574 - Favs: 4,550 - Follows: 5,037 - Updated: Oct 24, 2019 - Published: Aug 5, 2014 - id: 10594533

Link:https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10594533/1/Son-of-Sparda-DxD

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Disclaimer: I do not own High School DxD or Devil May Cry. They are respectively owned by Ishibumi Ichiei and Capcom, and under NO circumstances that I know of, will I ever own them. I don't have enough time and money to deal with the legal bullshit that is packaged with being sued. Also, credit for the cover pic goes to Banpai Akira.

A/N: Wanna hear a funny story?

…No? Well, too bad, cuz I'm telling it anyway.

This idea popped into my mind when I opened my fridge for a midnight snack just right after a hot, steamy shower, and the thought that accompanied it was… 'why the fuck not?' Granted, it was partly inspired by gabriel blessing's 'Beyond the Outer Gates Lies…' (bless the guy's soul, no pun intended), but it was still stuck in my head after I woke up the next day. And the next week. Next thing I knew, I had typed up a shitty prologue that is in need of revising.

As gabriel blessing once quoted… "Such fertile ground it has."

…And I, for one, was never a fan of looking carefully at my work for mistakes, so as usual, I decided to post it as it is.

So… I present to all you bastards, flamers, haters, stoners, loners, fuckers, oppai lovers, and/or just fans of the DMC and/or DxD fandom… a DMC x DxD crossover!

…Pardon my French. No offense to anyone in particular.

Well, let us make haste! Enjoy!

Where it all started…

'Well, where did it all start again?' Dante wondered as he dodged yet another attack from his deformed enemy Argosax the Chaos and retaliated with a barrage from his SMGs.

The two stood, face to faces, before a giant vortex; an ominous black one, which was intercepted with red lightning sparks that was slowly closing.

What had led up to this moment? A long story really, which had begun as a simple problem. Of course, with Dante at the helm of this job, 'simple' became 'grueling' a bit TOO fast. It was supposed to be an easy job on an island far away from Trish, Patty, and Lady. A little hunting, enjoying the scenery, recovering from Trish's special 'spicy-but-not-so-spicy-or-more-like-your-brain-is-not-going-to-realize-that-it-was-spicy-until-it-is-too-late' hot sauce. Just like Hawaii.

By the way, Trish's cooking is delicious stuff, but someone's gotta tell the woman that immunity to fire isn't the same as immunity to capsaicin!

And as always, like with the incident with Mundus and the investigation of the Order of the Sword, the job turned into far more of a headache than he liked. Someone just had to open that damned door to the Demon World! AGAIN! By now, he was seriously considering taking back Yamato from the kid Nero and nailing down all doors to that cursed realm with demonic rebar nails and extra powerful speed tape with it, memories of his brother be damned.

And just right before all that…

Well, it was probably during the ultimatum presented to him by Lucia of having to stain his hands with her blood to tie up loose ends… namely, the chaos that had descended on the city that led to him being here. There had to be another way to convince her that she didn't have to give her own life up, even if she had turned out to be a madman's failed experiment. Even if she had discovered that her whole life had been a complete lie.

The answer to that came in the form of a rift tearing into space, making itself known right in front of the two while Lucia had her hands on Ebony as she kept it pointed at herself. Between having to kill his companion, and having to go into the portal to finish off a King that used to rule the Demon World, what did he choose?

In retrospect, there really wasn't a choice. Dante liked it when the people he likes live.

So much for that coin toss he had with Lucia back there… oh wait, it was intentional, to begin with. 'Ha, wonder if she's pissed or not about my double-headed coin?' He's willing to bet all the spare money under a false bottom in a drawer at his desk that she found out the nature of the coin less than a minute after he entered the portal.

Maybe he'll send her a gift basket as an apology after all of this was over…

And all unfortunate series of events led to him dodging a swift tentacle attack. What fun.

"Whoa, easy there, you huge hunk of confused meat. I've already seen some of that hentai crap a few years back and I still know where that was going." Dante chided Argosax mockingly.

Argosax's reply came in the form of a loud and distorted roar at the puny man before him, which Dante could easily muffle out in his sleep if he wanted. The Devil emerged furious and ready to kill the insolent little bastard, who had dared to disturb his millennia-long slumber.

In appearance, it was a hideous pile of flesh composed of bits and pieces, with some animal features. Namely, all the beasts that Dante had slain before reaching this point: Phantom, Griffon, Orangguerra, Jokatgulm, Nefasturris, and Furiataurus. It was strong and regenerative, but also slow and clumsy. No problem for the battle-hardened hunter and a little too easy for Dante's taste. Even the ensuing battle had not been worthy enough to pay attention to. Dodging and pivoting around tentacles had been exciting for less than a minute and afterward, it was just him spamming his firearms and swinging Rebellion at the mass of flesh whenever he got the chance.

Boring as hell, no pun intended.

A full 20 minutes passed and it was covered in deep cuts from the hunter's favorite sword Rebellion. Beside the slash wounds, many small impact wounds could be seen on its body as well thanks to Ebony and Ivory, his Shotgun, and dual SMGs.

It was even sad… until it finally awakened.

At first, he was just a tiny globe, like a soul fragment, but blazing with ethereal flames. It became brighter and hotter until the small vessel couldn't hold it anymore. It burst, and out came Argosax in his new body. A blazing humanoid body which looked like it could morph between male and female, with two horns on his head. He even spurred fire wings. With them, he looked like a fallen angel, angry in demand for retribution and for the desperate need to get out of his dunghole.

And it still didn't utter a sound. How boring.

Hands changed to swords and spears and the fight was on again. This time, it was more heated in both the literal and figurative senses. Dante had to act fast, before the gate closed forever.

He Devil Triggered, revealing a demonic form with a very reptilian appearance. It gave a reptile-looking appearance to his arms and legs, his head seemed to produce spiky edges, there are cracks on his chest that pulsed with demonic power, and his coat appears to separate into three parts that are shaped much like an insect's wings. Time was of the essence, not style any more. No more useless bantering, if the enemy wasn't going to talk back to him.

A slash at its torso, regenerating, another at its leg, two more aimed at its wings, yet every time Dante landed a hit, the devil simply grew back the damaged areas. Not to mention, that it became swifter, agiler. The Underworld ruptured underneath their feet as beasts of primordial power battled in a contest of dominance. The Despair Embodied did not sully its title at all. It was despair and thus, it possessed all the traits that were associated with it. Power beyond measure. Speed beyond approach. Demonic intent miasmic to the point that it was suffocating. Nothing less for one that once ruled the Demon World.

All who witnessed it, trembled and despaired.

'The portal is closing too fast!' Dante gritted his teeth. Then he made his decision. His last chance lied in the second trigger: Majin Form. His true Devil form, more bestial with more, if possible, reptilian limbs, a bat-like body structure, and with four beetle-like wings.

If Dante hadn't known any better, he would have mistaken himself for his father, Sparda.

The game was on. One attack, one hit. It was going to end either way. Fortune seemed to favor the hunter as his attack landed. The left wing was gone, along with a chunk of its torso. The force behind the blow was enough that the regeneration didn't kick right in immediately. Not a clean strike, but enough to finish Argosax in the next dash. Dante moved and so did the devil, its hands turning into swords like Rebellion, which resided in the hands of Dante.

Dante leapt at his foe. The Devil anticipated the move and extended its sword-arm to pierce the hunter. Dante jumped slightly to the left executing a roll mid-air to stay on target, his sight never leaving his foe, and struck with Rebellion. His strike was parried, which resulted in him losing his sword, but it was a calculated miss. His foe was pushed back by the force of his thrust and got him out of its sight.

The Despair Embodied recovered fast, but not fast enough. It looked for the Devil Hunter at his left, but there was nothing, then at right, and yet again Dante channeled his Trickster Style to stay in its blind spot. At last, it turned around, coming eye to eye with Dante's gun Ivory. Checkmate. They both knew it, and if the devil had a face, it would have been of resignation.

Dante didn't spare The Despair Embodied a single glance as he channeled an overloading amount of demonic power that was the residue of power from his Devil Trigger and Majin Form into Ivory. With his trusted customized M1911-styled handgun in hand, he stated a familiar catchphrase with his trademark smirk, signaling the end of the battle:

"Jackpot!"

*BANG!*

The overpowered shot blasted straight through the supposed cranium of Argosax. Right at that moment, Rebellion struck the ground from above with a chilling *CLANG!*.

"▄▂▅▂▄▅▃▂▉—!" The Despair Embodied writhed and screeched in agony, or at least, appeared to be screeching as it had no mouth to screech from. Dante watched it as he placed Ivory back in its holster. It was beginning to dissolve into nothingness, maybe into nonexistence since the place it died is in the Underworld, or as humans like to call it, Hell. He couldn't even fathom what it's like to once exist, and then suddenly not exist anymore.

It's not like dying in the real world, since it's most likely that your soul can still go into an afterlife.

Dante shook his head. The portal behind him had closed by now, and now wasn't the time to be philosophical about the concept of life and death for a demon. Especially since he had no way returning back to the Human World. A familiar experience, except this time it was him who was trapped, not Vergil.

However, it was the next set of events coming up that he had caught him off guard. The Despair Embodied, disappearing form and all, had rushed up and seized him.

What happened next… wasn't what he expected.

Especially when it felt as though his entire body was getting distorted in order to teleport…

[?]

When Dante finally regained control over his five senses, the first thing he thought was, 'Dull.'

The surrounding area was dull. No sense of style at all. Not even an assortment of color like the Human World. Just a film of monochrome from the ground underneath him to the seemingly infinite amount of distance underneath an iridescent sky of what-the-hell.

The first and last time he was in the Demon World, the Temen-ni-Gru and Mundus's abode, even those places had a sense of aristocracy he could appreciate, if even a little. Aristocracy had a style of its own. But this… bleurgh.

The red star over the horizon did look a little threatening though…

A guttural moan caught his attention, and he turned behind him to see… Argosax the Chaos in the form of The Despair Embodied. Standing stock still about a couple ten's of meters away, much like a plastic flamingo except on both of its humanoid legs. Previously, it had been disappearing into nonexistence, but now… it looked more intact. He could even make out eyes and mouth, albeit not exactly humanlike. Now, the Devil had a more androgynous appearance, but could never be as handsome as yours truly.

"sOn oF SPaRdA…" The Despair Embodied stood still, showing a form of communication for the first time since the beginning of the battle.

"Huh. Who would have thought you're alive? It must be Tuesday, right? It's gotta be a Tuesday. I have to put up with a lot of crap on Tuesday's." Dante remarked sarcastically, subtly preparing himself for another brawl despite the low supply of demonic energy.

"sOn oF SPaRdA…" The Despair Embodied muttered again with disdain. "…dO nOT tHiNk YOu wIlL WalK aWay uNscATheD…"

"Oh? So the former King thinks he knows how to trash talk as well, huh? I like where this is goin'." Dante kept up the banter, wondering if he should ask the downed Demon King where the hell it took the both of them.

"YoU mAY hAvE bESteD mE, sOn oF SPaRdA…" It ignored his mouthing and sharply turned its head in his general direction, "…bUt NO lOnGer sHalL I bE tHe onE YOu sHouLd fEaR…"

"Yes yes, keep saying the name. Honestly, with the number of times I keep getting called that, I might have to file up a copyright application. Make a bunch of 100's out of it. 'Son of Sparda trademark, property of Dante AKA Tony Redgrave'. Got a nice ring to it, don't you think?" He continued mouthing off, but for reasons unknown to him, Argosax was unusually stubborn and showed no reaction to his quip.

"tHiNK AbOUt thIs, sOn oF SPaRdA. wHY dO yoU tHInK thE eMpErOr oF DaRknESs aTteMpteD tO clAIm tHe HuMAn wORld As HiS oWn tWo milLeNniA aGO?" It questioned Dante, and answered its own question just as fast as it had asked it, "sImpLE. hE WiShEd tO EScaPe fRoM thE oNE hE… nO, WE tRUlY fEarEd aBOvE AlL ElSE."

"And just how is your currently-sealed-in-hammerspace King or even you related to this?"

"tHeN aNSwEr Me ThIs…" Its mouth, or what resembles its mouth, curved into a sickly grin, alerting Dante of an impending danger. "wHY Do yoU tHiNK I tOoK yOU WiTh mE hEre? To tHiS foRsAKen lANd?"

"Because of the scenery? You could kill me with boredom here." Dante quipped, not outwardly showing a sign of giving a damn. He took a look around again… and saw that that ferocious-looking red star from earlier was eerily coming closer.

"iT CoMEs …"

He stopped his choreographed bantering with the former Demon King when the air… the space around him began to shift ever so subtly, causing the humanoid Demon King to fall to its knees and begin quivering, instead of stumbling slightly or lashing out in self-righteous anger like he expected it to when they first saw each other.

And he thought he had seen crazy.

"iT CoMEs, sOn oF SPaRdA… iT CoMEs…!"

The Despair Embodied then broke out into a deranged laughter. A kind of laughter Dante recognized instantly out of his many years of experience as a Devil Hunter. It was a laugh not out of hilarity nor out of mockery. Heck, it wasn't even the stereotypical laughter that was used by villains who found out that Christmas came early.

It was a laugh belonging to one that had lost everything and had nothing else left to lose.

"iT CoMEs, ThE OnE eVen tHe KiNgS aND waRrIoRs oF oLd fEAr aNd prOStRatE tO…"

It spread its arm out like a fanatical worshipper praising his god, but Dante was now trying to keep up, the gears in his mind grinding away to help him understand just what he got himself into, even if it wasn't his fault that he was here in this unknown place.

The Kings and Warriors of Old… Old is a very subjective term, going by demon terminology. If he looked at Old on a broad scale, as in millenniums, that would mean that Mundus feared this One. And he's already had enough Mundus for a day. What being could inspire a fear on a level that was currently being displayed by the former Demon King in front of him? And following that pathway…

The Son of Sparda quickly came to a conclusion, and it did not look pretty to himself either.

Sparda!

His own father, the Legendary Dark Knight even feared this… whatever it is?

…Bullshit. He calls bullshit on that thought. Hah, Dante had to suppress a chuckle at a vivid thought of Vergil running around screaming 'Bloody Murder!' if he heard such a thing. That would remain in his mind for as long as it came…

"iT CoMEs aNd We sHAlL bOtH PeRIsH fOR iT toGeThe—!"

Whatever The Despair Embodied was going to say or finish saying was promptly interrupted by a shower of brilliant golden fire as bright as the Sun raining on it. The only thing the final form of Argosax the Chaos managed to utter as it was showered was a brief scream of hatred, anguish, and despair before it was incinerated in and out and vanished without ashes to prove its existence, with a large hole-shaped cavern in its place.

Dante blinked the light out of his eyes. The final boss was just instantly vanquished in a few mere seconds. Compared to the amount of time he spent making it get serious, having to tire it down, and give it the finishing Jackpot, which was about two to five hours, more or less given the distortion of time in Hell… God, that was hot. As in, literally hot. Not the usual hot that he sees every day. He can thank Lady and Trish for that, maybe even Patty once she reaches the legal age of consent.

He looked up at the creature that finally landed with a resounding earthquake where The Despair Embodied used to be and came up with a simple but conclusive observation: It's not a demon.

It's a god-forsaken dragon.

A genuine lizard complete with wings, horn, and red scales. And it looked epically pissed. From the size of it compared to himself and all the demons he had encountered thus far, including Mundus, he may as well call it THE Dragon of Dragons.

And as though it felt him staring at it, it stared back at him with golden orbs. Those fierce orbs, slits-for-pupils and reptilian, narrowed as he continued looking into its eyes, and he knew at that moment… he was far too outclassed. And that was a major understatement, in his honest opinion.

Dante prides himself a seemingly unflappable person who has no fear, even against all odds against him like millennia-old, powerful demons that apparently had grudges against his father. Simply because they couldn't handle the fact that they got their ass handed to themselves by Sparda on a silver platter by a single betrayal, they choose to take it out on his son instead… only for them to get their ass on a GOLD platter.

Those were the good times.

But this… this is making him worry now.

If anything, to be pitted against this dragon... can he even call it that? …No, it's too much of an extreme overkill. And by overkill, he means himself. Its power was leagues upon leagues upon leagues above his own. Hell, that sheer unadulterated POWER… the undiluted PRESENCE that's threatening to suffocate him and force him to his knees right now… it made Mundus's own strength look like a half-year-old puppy. He couldn't even summon the strength to look away at all...!

The Dragon's golden orbs began to glow, if even possible, an even sharper gold than before... and for some reason, he felt as though his mind and soul were being violated to the very core. Even his entire body wasn't spared. He felt like something deep within him was being shifted around as if he were a toy being dissected by a curious child, and then messed around with like the inner components of a computer…

And he didn't even know how a freakin' computer worked.

Then a thought struck him at that moment. It wasn't awe-inspiring nor was it scary and fear-inducing. But it was a question that was brought up once, and only once, in his childhood after his mother's death, and it never came up ever again until now:

Was he going to die?

…

…Well, this is slowly becoming awkward now, impending erasure otherwise ignored. He had always envisioned that his death would come from eating too much strawberry sundaes and pizzas, thus either getting diabetes to shut his body down or getting too damn fat to carry his own weight and having gravity finish its business with him. Definitely NOT by a dragon as large as a professional football stadium.

Don't get him wrong, though. The Son of Sparda wasn't the kind of man who will simply die like an ant… That's one of the LAST thing he'll ever let happen. But he sure as hell wasn't going to charge up to the dragon with guns and sword blazing, shouting his own name like it's a war cry like Leeroy Jenkins, bless the man's soul by the way. If he's gonna die in a place like this… might as well do in a manner that would make his pride swell even after death.

The Dragon's golden orbs were beginning to dim. Here it comes…

"It's Godzilla!" Dante screamed in an exaggerated manner, pointing at the oversized dragon. "Seriously. You really pulled off the perfect role right there, my oversized friend. Just take away the wings and that weird horn on your snout, color that silly red scale dark green, and you're all set!"

…If he's gonna die, may as well do it the stupidest possible way, regardless of the limited options he had. At least his reputation as a jester will be preserved, even if only one being remembered it.

Apparently, the Dragon didn't like the remark that he gave about its appearance. Its fingers reached out and posed for a flick, which Dante could already tell would hurt like FUCK, all capital letters intended and healing factors be damned. No point in dodging something going beyond the speed he could accomplish as he was at the moment.

"This is gonna suck…" he muttered under his breath.

The dragon's finger flick made contact with his entire body and he blacked out immediately.

Yep, it was definitely a Tuesday.

…

Great Red snorted as his draconic finger claws made contact with the Devil Hunter, causing him to fly off into a distance and open a rift in the sky. How dare the little bastard make fun of his delicately grown red scales, his neatly trimmed-to-perfection wings, and his drop-dead awesome horn. He chose all of them out of a fashion sense, thank you very much.

And who the hell is this Godzilla? So he can go and kick that bastard's ass for sullying the name known as Great Red!

To be frank he had coame here because of boredom. He had felt a ripple close by and he thought, 'Why not?' and began flying towards it. When he got there though, he was greeted with the sight of this flame angel wannabe thing blabbing on and on about something coming. Its voice was so damn annoying, so he took measures into his hands… claws, he meant, and turned it off immediately. With flames. Lots of flames. That'll teach the punk for trying to play around with his eardrums.

Apparently, everything can be solved by dousing the problem with fire.

But after that was taken care of, he was met with the sight of yet another person. This little guy wasn't as annoying as the blabbermouth from before. It still begged the question, 'What's he doing here?' So with barely a thought, Great Red looked straight into the red-coated guy's eyes, and with that, he was inside the Son of Sparda's very thoughts.

And he was not disappointed with what he found.

2,000 years ago, the Legendary Dark Knight 'woke up to justice' and singlehandedly defeated his leader Mundus and his entire legion of demons. Once his deed was done, he sealed both the door to the Demon World and his own power, effectively rendering him a human with an abnormally long lifespan, but it was for the greater good. And right before his disappearance, he surfaced and married a human woman.

And it brought forth the younger identical twin of two. A half-demon conceived between the former general of an all-powerful Demon army and a human woman, Sparda and Eva.

Dante and Vergil had a rather happy childhood, similar to ordinary human children except both were aware of their demonic heritage. It did not assuage them in the least… until tragedy struck them. Sparda vanished without a trace and was believed to be dead, and their mother died by the hands of demons who held a grudge against the Treacherous Dark Knight, permanently estranging the brothers.

Whereas his older brother sought power to fill the guilt-ridden hole that was formed by his mother's death, Dante chose to fill his hole by slaying the very race that took away his mother's life and ruined his relationship with his brother.

Such different goals would eventually lead to them clashing physically, mentally, emotionally, and ideologically at the end of the episode of Temen-ni-gru. In the end, Dante emerged victorious, but it was a hollow victory. His brother did not change, and permanently severed the bond that they held for so long.

'Devils never cry,' He stated as he shed a tear for the loss of his brother.

That was only the beginning part of the memories he viewed, but that was enough to sate the curiosity he had for the tiny guy. The following memories and adventures that Dante had gone on, though…

Interesting.

Devil Trigger… Majin Form… meeting more descendants of Sparda… how fascinating.

It was a concept he found so much more interesting and innovating compared to those boring devil abilities he's more accustomed to. The closest thing he found in his immediate thought to resemble this concept was a Maou Lucifer condensing his all-powerful hereditary ability into a human form.

And this Mundus guy… he vividly remembered some angel statue guy trying to run away from him, and he managed to catch it thinking it was trying to lead him somewhere. Maybe it was the same guy… Dante, right? Maybe it was the same guy Dante had this feud with because of what his father did? Huh. For some hotshot that had this holier-than-thou attitude towards his nemesis's son, he was quite the pansy, begging for mercy when he was held in his hand.

He felt so annoyed to the point he had almost felt pity for the little angel… Mundus, he meant… that he let it go. Then it shot lightning and energy spears into his face.

It was promptly taken care of. The keyword in the previous thought had been 'ALMOST' for a reason.

Oh, well. Let misgivings be misgivings, and let the past speak for itself. Focus on the present and plan for the future. Well, MORE focusing on the present. Even HE doesn't know what the future holds. Just as he continued flapping his wings on and on in the ever silent Dimensional Gap, the future continued flowing like a river, torrential or not.

Still, that name… Sparda… something about that name rang a bell, but where exactly, he does not know… Drinking buddies? Can't be. He doesn't even know what alcohol tasted like. Or maybe he does, and he had forgotten years ago.

Whoever the guy was, he sounded like a more fun person than the Infinite Annoyance…

Whatever. When the memory comes, it comes. He had a LOT of time to spare.

Anyways, back on the subject at hand. When he finished gazing through Dante's mind, the little Devil Hunter decided to mouth off to him as well. Well, after seeing such an interesting find, he couldn't possibly destroy him now, can he? It's like finding a mine full of diamonds that had remained a virgin mine until its first discovery… whatever the hell that meant.

…But what were the odds of someone he had barely even known for a few seconds mouthing off like it was an everyday task?

Obviously, Great Red had not been expecting Dante to mouth off to him as well.

Still, even if his respect for the Devil Hunter rose, the remark about his appearance still annoyed him to no ends. And he was just about to be a nice guy and send him back to his own world. Well, instead of sending him back, he sent the guy into this interesting reality he found about a few years ago and added a little… alright, a few extra something's to Dante that'll help him in the long run when he touched him.

The flicking was just a bonus. He modified a few things about Dante for being an interesting find with a simple touch, and during that process flicked the bastard to satisfy his need for violence. Essentially, he killed two birds with one stone. That will teach the cunt for being mouthy.

As Great Red watched the rift he created begin to mend itself, he began to wonder what changes Dante will bring to the world just by being there. For better, or for worse? What will happen when a new kind of devil joins the fray? Will it lead to a utopia that is the collective dream of idealists everywhere? Or will it become an apocalyptic future with ruins as cities and plains as former countries that all cynics have predicted to come true?

Well, the decisions all fall down to the Son of Sparda. Whether this reality is ready for him or not…

Enjoy your New Life.

[Dante's Office – Devil May Cry]

Meanwhile, at Dante's not-so-tidy office, in a secret room full of dangerous sentient weapons, the inhabitants, who happen to be the weapons themselves, began to stir, feeling some kind of dissonance that felt too out-of-place for them.

"Did you feel that, brother?" A red jagged scimitar propped on a wall full of Devil Arms spoke.

"Indeed. Our master is… very far away." A blue one next to it replied back.

These are the dual Devil Arm, Agni and Rudra, the Firestorm Brothers and one of Dante's earliest Devil Arm during his greenhorn days he made a contract with, albeit a slightly rushed and rather easy-to-uphold one. Too bad the requirement was them keeping silent, and they were VERY talkative.

"…It's only been seven seconds and I already miss the boy." A fancy devilish guitar underneath them said in a wishful feminine tone. "Who will play with me from now on?" This was Nevan, the succubus queen who also grew fond of her master. Even if it was initially because he was quite the handsome man, he really knew how to stroke her and soon enough, she had grown attached to him.

"Damn it woman, can't you think about things other than that!" The chilly remark came from a tripartite nunchaku with an ice theme, one of Dante's earliest Devil Arms alongside Nevan and Agni & Rudra, Cerberus. "Yes, he is locked in Hell, but it's not like you have to wait for him to return. You can just go to where he is if you want. You two DO share a bond, do you not?"

"What about you then? Surely you want to be with your owner as well? Yet, here you are!" inquired the demon succubus turned guitar.

"I would if I could, but can't. I do not possess the power to open and maintain a gate big enough for my soul to cross. You, however, are tiny. Compact, as they say. Just like those loudmouth brothers."

"We would also like to go but…" The Firestorm Brothers whined.

"Me too!" Artemis, a demonic gun resembling a ray gun, chimed in at another corner.

"And me three!" Gilgamesh added at the right of Agni and Rudra.

"It's never dull with him." Pandora stated in a calm tone over at the pool table.

"I want some ACTION!" Ifrit, the ever-so hot-blooded Flame Gauntlets with a dragon motif, roared.

"If Nevan goes, so do I!" Alastor shouted at the opposite corner of Artemis.

It was chaos in its purest form. All of these Devil Arms, which hold the essence and souls of powerful demons and devils of Antiquity, were in a contract with a single man… and all of them were arguing with one another like children who hadn't reached a double-digit age. It was ironic though, as with so many high-ranking vassals under him, Dante could be considered an overlord or even a high-class noble by abysmal standards. A pity he never took the opportunity to be one, but that didn't mean that his partners wouldn't.

"There is a way." Lucifer called, knower of ancient secret and sorcery. Taking the form of a hellish backpack, shaped like a streamlined skull with large glowing red eyes that stare in fury, with metallic projections protruding from its forehead, he proceeded, "It is inconvenient and probably will get us in trouble, but I can take us to him." It paused slightly, before adding a small, "Probably…"

"Talk." Alastor spoke in a demanding voice. The Thunder Sword managed to hear the sophisticated tone above the ruckus his fellow Devil Arms were making. Time seemed to mellow him out a little, especially on his first meeting with Dante, but he could still fall back in his stung up tone if he was excited or irritated. "The more time we stay here, the more time Dante continues using Rebellion instead of me!"

"We cannot open rifts directly to Hell or anywhere else, but we can go to our contractor, like any devil in the ancient rites." Silence greeted his announcement.

"Carry on." Gilgamesh, the demon warrior lord of steel, a set of gauntlets, greaves, mask, and back armor that absorbed organic material and converted them into steel, beckoned. "We're listening."

After a brief pause, Lucifer continued, "Technically, we are all contracted to Dante even if it is in a twisted way. Some of us more than other." The last sentence was more to himself than anyone else. "This ritual demands that all contracts are equalized. Which means we are literally bound to our… ergh… master."

"What's the catch?" Beowulf asked, a set of flash gauntlets and greaves Devil Arm that had abhorred the Sons of Sparda ever since his soul was forcefully relinquished, and had mellowed over the passing years as well. Doesn't mean the hatred was completely gone.

"First. It means that he will be limited at first on how to use us. Second. Some of us who still were able to use their humanoid shape will find it difficult to use it because Dante's power and our own will be linked. There won't be any more essence of our own, and everything will be shared with him, and ONLY him! It also means that others who could not benefit from this perk will maybe be able to do so as well if the master wishes. Basically, we trade in power for versatility."

"Seems fine to me." Artemis said, satisfied somewhat by the explanation.

"And it's kinda permanent, so I hope you all never planned in advance to reign on your own or seek out another Devil Prince?" Lucifer asked as an afterthought.

"Never thought about it!" Agni and Rudra stated.

"I'm fine as I am, I suppose," Beowulf muttered.

"I want Darling~" Nevan bemoaned.

""I'm good!"" Ifrit and Pandora cheered simultaneously.

"I thought so!" Lucifer finished. "Though I have to warn all of you, I am not aware of the distance he is, and depending on how far it is, even if we eventually make our way to him, we'll definitely be scattered far away from one another. Maybe even countries apart. But we'll definitely get to him."

Lucifer shifted his attention to his fellow Devil Arms, who didn't seem to care about that tidbit he just announced and were eagerly waiting for his explanation. "…None of you are even interested in what I just said, huh?" More silence greeted him, and he sighed tiredly. "I don't know why I'm even trying anymore… Alright, so here's how the ritual goes…"

"Oh, hang on a sec. PANDORA! Grab Darling's coat while Lucifer is talking semantics! His first, dusty one on the pool table!" Nevan shouted at the briefcase Devil Arm, which had been standing completely still on top of Dante's first longcoat, the one with the right sleeve torn off.

"Got it! But what for?"

"My private reasons! Alright, Lucifer. How does it go?"

And so, Dante's Devil Arms began plotting their "nefarious" transportation plan to get to their master and the next week, when someone checked the secret room, all of them had vanished from his office without a trace…

[?]

"Ow." Dante declared to the world as he regained consciousness. "…So what's the license number of the truck that hit me?"

He felt so weak now. In fact, this felt like the extremely brief high school days when he had to wake up in the morning just to attend school. The notion was so silly when met with the fact that he was constantly running to keep demons away from the humans. Well, education was never a part of his forte to begin with, so whatever.

Dante began to make himself comfortable in the bed he was currently occupying. He hadn't felt this sense of comfort in a long time, since he had never had the fortune or time to afford a bed, what with paying for the bed, paying for the shipment of the bed, and finally all the bed sheets and pillows. Too much time and effort just for sleeptime. Last time he slept in a bed was when he was eight years old, and it was quite a nice feeling to experience it again.

He was about to drift off to sleep again… until he realized something.

He doesn't own a bed. At all. He slept on a couch permanently.

Dante shot up so fast that a nearby nurse performing a routine check yelped in surprise. He began blinking the sleepy out of his eyes, raising a hand to rub some sand out. Memories suddenly began assaulting his mind like a bunch of African honeybees to an unfortunate victim. Did… did all that just happen? That Dragon seriously flicked him so hard, he landed back in an alternate version of the Human World? Or something as ridiculous as that?

He glanced around the room he was in and was met with the sight of white walls and ceilings, a futuristic looking machine with funny jagged lines occasionally flickering across it, and a window that was allowing a cool breeze to blow into the room…

'Am I in a hospital?' Dante wondered with surprise.

"Are you alright, young man?" Dante heard a voice next to him and turned to see the person talking to him.

It was a nurse. A human nurse, he mentally surmised from the scent and appearance. Asian. Normal figure. Quite the looker. In standard nurse like outfit, complete with a clipboard, and square-rimmed glasses. Nationality… most likely Japanese. And she spoke perfect English. Not bad.

"Young man… More like I'm hitting my mid-40's," Dante joked in his usual flirting tone.

"Really? Because you look like you're about in your late teen's," The nurse joked back. Dante was about to thank her for the compliment on his mug, however far-fetched it was… until he looked at the glasses over her eyes briefly and was promptly stunned into silence. With both his appearance and the fact that indeed, the nurse was actually not joking around.

"I'm a little confused," He quickly summarized.

"Well, I've never had a case involving a teenager bloodied all over making a full recovery in less than a week, so you're not alone," The nurse explained to Dante, but he was only half-listening.

'…Did I ever look THAT emo?' That was his first thought as he remembered the image of his reflection. Then the second thought was, 'Wait, that was me.' The third thought was, 'What the hell?'

Alright, let's sum up the findings Dante had managed to get from the short amount of seconds he had from the moment he regained consciousness. Acknowledging that everything that he had happened to him before he woke up in this place was true, that meant he's back in the Human World. Stupid dragon, for that matter. Why couldn't it send him back to his home in America, where Devil May Cry was? God forbid-

"Ow!" He cringed at the unexpected pain in his head, alerting the nurse out of her explanation.

-And to top it off, his head hurt for some apparent reason that had jumped over his head.

"So… where am I?" Dante asked curiously, rubbing his head to alleviate the headache.

"Hm? You're currently at The King Clinic. Is your head okay?"

Dante paused in his head rubbing and looked at the nurse clearly. Did he really just hear what she just said?

"…I'm sorry, sweetie, but can you repeat that for me?"

The nurse looked at him strangely, but complied with a kind smile, "You're currently situated at The King Clinic located in the Omotesando district of Tokyo, Japan. Are you sure you're okay, Mister…"

"Tony Redgrave, first name first…" Dante supplied listlessly, currently assessing his ridiculous situation.

He remained silent at the reveal, resuming mulling over everything that had happened thus far. Added to his list of crap-to-put-up-with was… he's in Japan, Land of the Rising Sun. Home of the mango's and animu's that Patty had ranted to him about during one of her visits to his office. And with that, Dante came to a simple and very conclusive… conclusion.

Without doubt, today was definitely a Tuesday.

"This is gonna be a long ride home…" he muttered, earning a confused look from the nurse.

A/N: I like to believe that Dante is the kind of person who rarely takes things seriously, but can be serious when the situation calls for it. Not the kind of person who is 100% percent serious like how he was portrayed in DMC 2.

I'm trying to reach the kind of character he was in the 1st, 3rd, and 4th game, as well as the anime series. I want him to be sarcastic, witty, foul-mouthed, flippant towards power and authority, seemingly uncaring and callous, but ultimately a good person at heart who possesses a strong sense of justice, if not whimsical.

Hence, the reason for all the quirks that the DMC fans may have come to know and love about Dante. I hope I accomplished that deed and managed to keep Dante in character the whole time.

So… yeah! Review! Comment on what shenanigans Dante's Devil Arms are getting themselves into! And review again!

*LAST EDITED: 2/4/2018*

-DarkAkatsuk1, beginning a new story

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Disclaimer: I do not own High School DxD or Devil May Cry. Both are respectively owned by Ichiei Ishibumi and Capcom, while I am simply a single person backed by none. Quite sad, now that I think about it.

A/N: Damn… 38 reviews and 110 favorites in 10 days. What was originally a half-assed idea made purely from Fridge Logic turned into quite a riot. I honestly didn't see this coming. Thanks for the support, guys!

So with that out of the way, enjoy while Dante explores Oddville, runs into devil and fallen angel conflicts, and praises the deity up high for finally getting him pizza without olives!

A fair intro of madness to come.

Mission 1: START

[Dante's Apartment]

"I want a basil and spicy salami pizza, and I want no olives on it. Got it?"

A teen with brushed-down snow white hair called over the phone. He stood at an impressive 6' 2", about 188 cm, and was wearing a white, long-sleeved button-down shirt with vertical linings, black pants, and brown dress shoes. His shirt was unbuttoned, showing off a red tank top that hid his impressive body build. He was currently drying his hair with one hand, the other one holding the phone.

"Huh? Payment for the tabs this month? And no, I can't leave a tab this time? …Damn. Fine, I've got the cash this time, so don't worry. I'll pay it all up. Alright. I'll wait for 20 minutes."

And with that, he turned off the phone and tossed it into the air. Yawning, he went to his desk. He spared his knocked-down chair for a moment before lightly lifting his leg, kicking the chair up onto its legs, and sitting on the cushion, crossing his legs on the desk in a laidback fashion. He felt a slight sense of satisfaction for a moment when the thrown phone had landed perfectly in its charging station on his desk, and patiently waited for his food to come.

After 20 painful minutes had passed, a knock on the door revealed a delivery boy with a pizza in hand, hopefully with no olives.

"No olives, I hope?" The teen took a wad of yens out of his pocket and gave it to the delivery boy.

"I believe so. The manager was quite adamant about the 'no olives' part. You're one of his regular customers, after all," the pizza boy gladly received the cash and gave his customer the pizza.

"Keep the change. Think of it as a bonus for not getting the order wrong," he nodded when he checked to see that there were no olives. After a brief nod, the teen closed the door, went behind his desk to throw himself on the cushioned chair, threw his feet up onto his desk in one motion… and proceeded to gorge on the food of the heavens. As he did so, Dante reflected on what had happened thus far.

Japan.

That was where he was, as he repeated it in his mind.

It felt too surreal, even with everything he had experienced before this moment. Especially when he was finally released from the hospital. After recovering from the shock of finding out where he was and about his de-aged form, he was once again shocked at the bill the hospital had thrown at him. Even if it wasn't as big as the tab he left for the amount of pizza he ordered back in his old world, it was still something he wasn't happy with.

Debt. How he hated that word with a passion. The only word that rivaled it was 'taxes'.

Moving on. He had initially been displeased about his appearance, but by no means did he hate it right now. Well, it may have led to him having an awkward staring contest with a mirror during his second day, but that's a story for another time. In fact, he liked it very much right now. One reason was that it served as a good cover for why he kept eating pizza and strawberry sundaes, especially pizza more often than not. No one sassed him for it and just assumed that his inner child hadn't died yet.

Too bad he couldn't get his hands on booze just yet. Getting shitfaced drunk was gonna have to wait for about two more years… legally, that is. He knew a contact that knew a contact that'll solve the alcohol crisis.

'And getting flicked by a dragon is apparently beneficial for my mug,' he surmised jokingly. And with his youth restored, every stupid quirks and traits he possessed during those years came back as well. And puberty, for that matter. Oh, sweet, lovable puberty. At least this time, he was prepared for the large amount of testosterone his body was producing at the moment.

All things considered, it had been an interesting, if not strange, year for Dante. Aside from the alternate reality assumption he had made in his slightly insane mind last year, which turned out to be true, this world he's currently living in was, in fact, as identical as his homeworld would ever be.

With key differences, of course.

For one, the man known as Dante Sparda never existed in this world. Hell, there wasn't even a Tony Redgrave. There was a Dante Alighieri and a Dante Bonfim Costa Santos, but the former was born in the Middle Ages and the latter was a Brazilian footballer. Then when he tried calling the phone number of his workplace, he kept ringing up some ice cream parlor and was promptly hung up every time he asked for Trish, Lady, or even Patty. Hell, he even tried calling up Morrison and Enzo, but their numbers led to numbers that had not even been registered.

Which led to a scary revelation: Devil May Cry does not exist. And if what he's guessing was true, then the legend of Sparda doesn't exist either.

He really was in an alternate version of the Human World.

Then to add insult to injury, he didn't have any form of legal identification, despite his initial protests that he was an American citizen back at the hospital. Well, he's technically an illegal immigrant who basically willed himself into existence, no records of his past proving otherwise. It had sucked big time for him during his first month getting acquainted with this foreign world. Having to learn how to read and write in Japanese on top of navigating through the Japanese welfare system without a shred of knowing what's saying what had been an ordeal deserving of a medal.

Luckily, it was pretty much the same as the American system and he received help from a significant person, and could now read and write in Japanese as fluidly as English… even if his penmanship still sucked.

And so, without a single form of legal proof of his citizenship or even records of parents of the same family name and no place to be deported back to, it was solved with him gaining Japanese citizenship as a foreigner through a 'naturalization' process.

He was now officially Redgrave Tony, last name first. Age 17, coming close to 18 in a couple months.

How he ended up in the hospital and who brought him there, he'll never know. He could have gone off and done some shady business as a bounty hunter or vigilante, amass enough money to buy an identity illegally and thus solve his problem. He had been living a rough life, so he knew just the right places to look, courtesy of having Enzo as a business partner for some time.

That would have made life so much easier… life insurance, his curvy ass. His healing factors would take care of that problem, not that the hospital or anyone in particular needed to know about that.

He was lucky enough to find himself a home. How he managed it… there's actually a very compelling story behind it, but that's better saved for later.

Anyways, after managing to get himself emancipated, he found himself greeted yet again by another obstacle that stands in the path of every teenager around most of the world: going to school. Not only that, since he was now legally considered an adult due to his emancipated status, he also needed to try and make the welfare check make ends meet. He had been selling pistols he took from adversaries in his younger years for extra cash, and due to gun laws in Japan, it didn't look like he'll be dealing with that anytime soon. He just needed to make sure there weren't any demons breathing down his neck.

Oh, and speaking of demons…

It came as quite a gift horse for Dante, without the 'looking in the mouth' part.

There were no activities that showed any suspicious signs of demon attacks. Or rather, there weren't any obvious signs of the supernatural existing. In fact, the general populace appeared to be oblivious to it and wrote it off as nonexistent.

But about two months in, he had a run-in with a couple guys who called themselves 'youkais' that demanded why a being like him was on their turf. It turned out that in this strange world, these 'demons' were categorized and were ironically a lot more benevolent and reclusive than the demons he's accustomed to. By benevolent, he meant they won't attack you for whatever demonic reasons and by reclusive, he meant no one in the ordinary was aware of their existence.

Shocking? Yes. A good change for once? Hell yeah. That meant no more random demon attacks and no more interrupted pizza night.

The serious downside was… he couldn't find any connections with his Devil Arms. Some of them, like Rebellion's, were still there, but were currently indisposed. No, more like the connections were there one day, and the next, they weren't there anymore. It's hard to explain, but it's there and at the same time, not there. Either way, it still led to one problem.

No Devil Arms meant no Devil Trigger… or rather, no smooth transition from human to Triggered form.

But considering the peace around him, he figured he doesn't have to worry about his demonic tools of the trade… for now, at least. He hoped the guys and girls won't be too pissed at him for taking his sweet time finding them. Finding them is still a priority, though.

Never said there were NOT any straggling demons around doing evil. So far, he had put down seven of them, none of them posing a challenge at all.

…Looking on the bright side, at least he managed to find the guys Ebony and Ivory. He had seen it being confiscated back at the hospital and managed to steal it back a week later. Quicksilver Style all the way, for that matter. No idea where Rebellion was, though. It wasn't with his guns when he got them back.

Gotta find that sword fast. Sentimental values aside, who knew what will happen if a part of the supernatural got their hands on it?

…It was getting quite boring with only hunting demons once or twice every two months. There wasn't any style in simply shooting them up or beating the living crap out of them with a demon-infused wood sword. Gotta have variety.

Anyways, ending up in a world oh-so-similar to his own was never something he had any form of backup plans for. If anything, he had always thought the other dimensions besides the Human World were Heaven and Hell. At least he was in a civilized reality that sold pizzas and strawberry sundaes and released an equivalent of Two HandGun Magazines here. Thank God for that.

Dante twitched; as yet another headache came forth. Oh. Right.

Speaking of thanking a deity whose existence he doubts, he had begun experiencing migraines left and right every time he said a thing that pertains to either insulting or praising the Lord Almighty. Strange, since this never happened to him before. Maybe God got tired of his shit and decided to administer some form of divine hatred?

That sounded so cute and lovely, God acknowledging him.

Didn't mean he's ready to try washing his hand or mock anointing himself with holy water. That would be very stupid. Speaking of which, he did some other experiments and they haven't born much result. He read some part of the Bible of this world, and no major headaches aside from his excessive boredom (maybe that's the pain?), and he's wearing a cross necklace right now as a side project, and so far, no reaction towards it. Maybe it's a dud.

Why read the Bible? Well, boredom had been said to bear many miracles, and Dante reading a book with no pictures was one of them.

…Please, don't judge him. He's just a curious person. Ah, but since when does he care about being judged?

"…The pizza's pretty good." Dante remarked to himself as he checked the clock. "…Wonder if they'll accept me leaving a tab the next time? I'm kinda broke with giving that guy the money and all…"

And the best part of all? He could have all the olive-less pizzas and strawberry sundaes he want without anyone bitching about his eating habits. So to sum it up… it's been quite an interesting year and some months. He said that already, right?

Dante reached for another slice of pizza… and realized that he had already finished the whole box. It had only been a good two and a half minutes of bliss for his tongue… He frowned, slightly displeased with the size of the pizza delivered. It was good, but it was smaller than the pizzas he was more accustomed to back in America. Maybe he shouldn't have given the change to the guy and filed a complaint instead…

Another knock on the door, and this time, Dante knew who it was. It's definitely a truancy officer coming to see if he's at school or not. Or his nagging landlady. Same difference.

He released a tired sigh and walked over to his desk, picking up a black blazer and wearing it over his shoulders. Along the way, he picked up a school bag containing all the stuff he needed in the place he readily nicknamed 'hell on earth', and a satchel containing a bokken. Ignoring the knocks on the front door, he opened his window and discreetly jumped down from the 4th floor into the alleyway.

It's time to go to school, however late he was.

[Kuoh Academy]

Kuoh Academy.

A splendid school where the majority of the students enrolled was female, and a place that could even be called the setting for a paradise for men and/or a harem comedy show. It was a prestigious, former all-girls school that had become coed for about a few years that can be counted on both hands and maybe a foot. Not much was known about this school, though it's more because of Dante's lack of interest in the history of the infrastructure than anything else. As a school where rich and noble girls (or 'Ojous' as Patty would call them) were enrolled in, the facilities were anything more than outstanding. The clubs found on campus received enough attention and support (money) to conduct their activities, the entire school grounds were well kept 24/7, and the technologies were top-notched.

It also happened to be the source of a strange miasma Dante had been feeling for the past year since he first got enrolled here, as well as hard proof that aside from youkais, the occult was as real.

Well, in any case, there were two groups in particular that struck a nerve with him whenever he heard about them or chance a glance at them. The first, and the one that had always been the center of attention since its formation, was the Occult Research Club.

What's weird for Dante was that the club was in the spotlight not because of any achievements worth mentioning, but because two of Kuoh's most beautiful girls, pertinently named Kuoh's Two Great Ladies, founded it a year before he arrived in Oddville and had since attended aforementioned club. And when a certain Prince and a certain cute mascot girl joined last year and this year respectively, it was clear that it gained even more attention than normal.

Personally, Dante had never met any of these club members, with the exception of Rias Gremory, only hearing about them in passing or stealing a glance at them and from what he saw… he'll be blunt, the Great Ladies were both hot pieces of ass that surpassed the models in fashion magazines, the Prince was… a princely boy, and the mascot girl was a cute squirt that made him think of a fluffy little kitty.

It still begged the question: Why? These girls (and guy) were all aware of their status and looks, yet they congregate to the same club. Something felt a little off.

It didn't help that he felt like they shared the same sentiment for him.

Dante let out a long and silent yawn once again, tears forming in his eyes as he focused unwillingly once more at the board full of formulas he didn't understand. Algebra… one of those math skills that adults will be using once they begin making a living. And can be easily substituted by a calculator.

It had something to do with substituting a number for a letter and finding out whatever number the letter was…

Maybe.

"Ah, Redgrave-kun. I see my lecture bores you. Mind answering the question on the board? Solve for x." The math teacher asked him.

Dante glanced at the formula and shrugged nonchalantly, wildly guessing, "2."

The teacher blinked and looked at the question again, only to see that it was- "T-that's correct."

The hunter turned student spared himself a smirk. 'Looks like Lady Luck is on my side today.'

…

(after school)

"So…" Dante started slowly, looking at his customer now that school was over and the classroom he was in empty. "I see you saw my website. So, what do you want?"

Did he forget to mention the 'make ends meet' part? Well, since he technically doesn't have a business anymore, he either had to find a job or set up a business here. Trish and Lady can run the business back in his own world while he's gone. Patty will be 18 in about a few months, so maybe she'll help as well. Though, how long it'll take for him to return home… was a question he preferred finding the answer to later.

And so after enough paperwork that could build a large bonfire, 'Yorozuya Dante' was born. Jack-of-all-trades, accepting any kind of jobs for a fee.

He initially considered naming his new business 'Devil May Cry v2.0', but figured no one would want to call him, no matter how awesome the name sounded, and the fact that the supernatural wasn't exactly a popular subject in a business. That all led to him discovering something so marvelous that he wept demonic tears of happiness and wondered where it had been all his life.

The Internet.

With that, Dante now has a personal homepage. Maybe when he returned, he'll get Devil May Cry a website as well.

Unfortunately, Yorozuya Dante had to be typed up in Japanese, which was a complete pain in the ass and took a month to finalize. It's like these people studied the English language for about three years in school, and after that, they either forget about it or it's left to atrophy over the years. It really was a hassle. Made him wanna just go lay on top of any building and stargaze or watch the clouds instead.

On a sidenote, all that anime and manga on the Internet… when did he get hooked on it again? Patty was seriously holding out on him if these shows were as entertaining as demon hunting. And they really were.

He can now add 'situational shut-in' to his expanding repertoire.

"Well…" the other boy asked in a confused tone. "What do you mean, you can do anything?"

"Just as the website said. I'll do anything for money. And if that anything strays along the lines of R-rated, I may have to think about it. That's Yorozuya Dante, all in a nutshell." Glancing at the boy and seeing a confused expression, he sighed. "Look, um…"

"Oh!" The boy seemed to realize something important and bowed, "My name is Hyoudou Issei. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Mm. Same." Dante waved off the pleasantries, earning a frown from the brunette.

The fourth thing he discovered was… everyone, and by everyone he meant EVERYONE, spoke in perfect English. This was a case he should be looking into, but due to the convenience of the ability, he decided against it.

At first, it was so bizarre, hearing everyone speak English so fluently. Then when he asked how they could all speak, they gave him weird looks before laughing and telling him that he was speaking JAPANESE, not English, perfectly, as well as asking him where he learned it from.

He kept his mouth shut after that. No need to appear stranger than he already felt. That was not cool.

He continued, "You came to me with the password I posted on my site, placed in a link that no one could enter unless they looked very carefully, so I'm assuming you're here for business instead of flaming me like all those other boring people on the web. So what's the cinch?"

"Um…" Issei seemed rather nervous about something. "Well, Redgrave-kun…"

"Call me Dante. It's my business name, and I prefer that I be called that when I'm doing my job."

"R-right. Um, Dante-san…" Issei struck the Thinker's pose. And a grin sprouted on his face. A grin that made Dante reevaluate if taking a job from this customer was going to be worth it. "Well, there is one thing… do you think you can get me a harem? Or at least, a girlfriend? Preferably with big oppai?"

"Do I look like the kind of person who knows girls like that to you?" Dante asked rhetorically. Seeing the other boy look at him with the same dopey expression, Dante continued, "Look. I have bills to pay, a rent that's long overdue, and a landlady that's hot on my ass about this month's rent, so please tell me you're being serious about that request."

Issei continued looking at him with that same stupid grin. Realizing that Issei was really serious about that, Dante slumped forward with a sigh. "…Something realistic… something realistic… is that so hard to ask for…?" He tilted his head up from the desk, feeling really tired for some reason.

"…Alright, how about this. Consider this pro bono advice. Tomorrow, just continue doing whatever you've been doing. Live however you have lived so far and at the end of the day, moan about your misgivings on a bridge overlooking a street. Hopefully, some women will take pity on you, and as long as you don't screw things up on your part, you'll obtain a harem or at least a girlfriend overnight."

"That doesn't sound like very good advice." Issei mumbled, and Dante snorted.

"Yeah? Well, how 'bout ya go build a bridge and get over it? I had to live with three particular people, names I forgot here, who made my financial life a living hell, alongside with being seduced by a sweet ass guitar at least once or twice every week until last year. Be happy that you're not suffering from debt as I am, Ise-boyo," Dante snapped, before pausing. Since when did he give a damn about his financial life?

"Right, right," Issei frowned, but understood that he almost crossed a line right there. "Dante-san, you're pretty weird… but you aren't like the rumors said you were. I think you could be a cool, nice guy." He grinned, making Dante pause at the declaration. "How about this? If you ever need a place to relax, me and the guys can recommend you a certain place."

"Thanks, but no thanks. Don't you have a bridge to find and moan over?"

Issei shrugged. It's the guy's loss, not his. "I'll see you later, Dant- er, Redgrave-san!" The brunette left, leaving Dante to ponder to himself. Soon enough, he got up and began to leave as well.

That was the first compliment he had received in quite a while now. Aside from his good looks, no one had ever said anything about his personality. "…Nice, huh? I was called lazy, selfish, cheap, a showoff, asshole, and bastard, but never nice." He remarked, and mulling over the feeling he has, he concluded, "…It feels nice to be called that."

He was about to leave the building, but that would have to wait as he came across another obstacle.

"Redgrave-kun, a moment of your time, please," a straight-laced voice came from behind Dante, causing him to steel himself for what is inevitably another nagging session.

"Well, look who we have here! Fancy meeting you again, Sona!" Dante turned around and greeted his mortal enemy and her other friend with a rather cheeky smirk. "So how can I help you on this marvelous day? Your eyes are as flinty as the day we first met."

"Don't try and butter me up like before, Redgrave-kun. Also, please refer me to the appropriate title of 'Kaichou'," As always, the prez remained unruffled by his compliment.

Oh, and the second group that caught his attention would be the Student Council. Unlike the Occult Research Club though, his reason was for far more childish and rather petulant reasons than it was about the occult.

This year, he should have been a third-year student, but was held back due to many absences in a row that he had on his record and his plainly abysmal grades in everything except English and Physical Education. It led to him eventually butting heads with the current Student Council Prez, Shitori Sona, and her bean counters.

The relationship between the two can be described as two people mutually agreeing to disagree, though it doesn't stop her from trying to 'reform' him. Now though… supposedly, Japan had a long-standing tradition of Student Council Presidents attempting to reform delinquents, through one way or another. It was amusing at first, but then he ran out of excuses to give. Thus, his status as a 'Yankee' was unofficially solidified and Sona had been after him like a wolf after its prey…

"Ooh… I like a fast woman, like you Sona," Dante grinned. The Student Council President's eyes narrowed at his obvious attempt at flirting with her. He had the grace to feign sheepishness as she adjusted her glasses. Sona's friend, her Vice President, coughed and narrowed her eyes as well, refraining from lashing out at Dante's rude behavior.

He continued grinning, much like the cat that got the canary.

"I want to discuss multiple issues that have been circling around about you, Redgrave-kun. For example, you arrived at school late. Again."

"To be fair, I felt a little under the weather today," he replied airily.

"Another one is your dyed hair…"

"Like I said how many times ago, this is my natural hair color," Dante defended, scratching his ears.

"And I can still hardly believe that a person can be born with such unnaturally white hair."

"…Rias Gremory has unnaturally red hair."

"And that is not up for debate," Sona retorted. Dante had a feeling she was diverting away from that subject. "Not to mention your insistence of carrying around that sword."

Funny thing, really. Back in America, being seen carrying around weapons was fine material to getting the police called on you, and it was a real pain having to deal with them. Here though, turns out that Japan has a history of martial culture, so as long as a practice weapon being carried around remains wrapped, no one would care.

Not to mention, he was technically the best in the club, almost getting nominated for captaincy. He had declined the offer, instead giving them advice to start doing more physical conditioning, put more dedication in their art, and be a lot more proactive. An advisor of sorts, if you please.

But he never officially left the club. Doesn't explain why some of the girls protested his absence.

"As a member of the Kendo Club, it's natural that I carry around a practice weapon between classes. Not to mention, I look quite dashing with it in hand."

Still, being registered was a very convenient reason to carry a weapon around.

"A member that only showed up on the first day."

"What can I say? Staying in one place just isn't my cup of tea. Ghost member stuffs."

"And just about recently, I heard that you have a job. What's that about?" Sona's eyes closed in on his own.

"Gotta make money to pay the rent, right?" Dante quipped patiently.

The two had a staring contest of sort before Sona broke it off with a cool look.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave that job, Redgrave-kun. Having a job while attending school is a violation of school policies. I'll overlook your blatant ignoring of the hair issue, but…" Her eyes glared harder into his again. "I will not condone any more misanthropy you have planned for this year."

"Oh, come on!" Dante whined, neglecting to mention that he's the boss of this job and technically couldn't leave it. "Why must you declare war on me, Sona? Is that why the two of you put all the fun in camps?"

The other girl snorted slightly, caught in between slightly amused and understanding the rather morbid joke Dante pulled off. Not sure if it was a snort of amusement or a snort that suggested offense, though.

"I have fun." Sona protested primly, adjusting her glasses in a way that suggested she took offense to his uncouth accusation. "It's just that my definition of fun involves more common sense, courtesy, and respect for rules than your's."

Dante blinked before cupping his chin in thought. "…I'm having trouble comprehending your definition of 'fun'. Please wait a moment while I go get a dictionary from… somewhere that is not here."

"Don't even think about it." Sona was not fooled by his lame attempt to run away.

"Damnit. I thought I could get away with that…" Sona frowned at his rather casual admittance. "…Not that that will stop me!" Dante turned around with a slick flourish. "If you don't mind, I got things to do. It was nice talking to you, Prez!"

Sona did nothing to stop him as he walked away. She knew she couldn't. This was happening for about a year now, and it wasn't stopping anytime soon. "…Know that you must keep yourself under control, Redgrave-kun. If you don't change your conduct, then consequences will be severe. Any threat to the school will not be tolerated." She watched Dante to make sure the message sank in. "Come, Tsubaki. We're leaving now."

The glasses duo spared one last look at the rebel student's back and walked off as well. Dante snorted amusedly as he looked out the window.

"Things always gotta be complicated. One world or another."

…

(at night)

The younger one of the two Sons of Sparda.

Occupational devil hunter.

Healthy admirer of the female body.

Adamant strawberry sundae lover.

Fanatically obsessed pizza worshipper.

Ardent olive despiser.

And last and not least, half-demon.

All of the above is the basic gist of Dante, who now goes by the name Redgrave Tony.

The man who conquered the trials of Temen-ni-gru, who resealed the Emperor of Darkness Mundus back in the Demon World, who defeated a demon wielding the power of Abigail without breaking much of a sweat, who helped another descendant of Sparda defeat a fanatical priest who lusted for the power of Sparda, and the one who defeated the former Demon King Argosax.

He was capable of surviving bullets shot point-blank to the head and stomach, several impalements to major organs, and had swords of renown like Rebellion and Alastor shoved point-first into his body so many times that it wasn't funny anymore. And ultimately, he was the son who ultimately surpassed his own father, the Legendary Dark Knight, a spoken legend that was revered by humanity, even after two long millennia.

…Now he spent his night watching anime and reading manga. Most of the time.

Speaking of which, his Internet has been down since he got home. He hadn't been able to pay his Internet bills, his rent for the apartment, and his electricity bill is about two or three weeks overdue. Maybe that's the reason why.

Oh, how the mighty has fallen. A legitimate BAMF who could handle fighting against monsters beyond human, no, ordinary comprehension, was being suppressed by mere taxes and debt. Ironic, right?

…Looking at it with context and considering Dante's personality, not really.

Back to the subject at hand. His priorities to get back to his home world aside, this world was just as interesting and frankly, he could handle living here for a while before returning. Especially since there's so much he didn't know already, but that's the fun part. Not knowing was part, if not most, of the fun in an adventure.

Plus, he's a teenager again, so why not live it out again?

Thus, the reason why he's out at night investigating any paranormal activities.

He abruptly stopped walking as something shanked the ground in front of him.

…Okay, so he was curious about the church on the hill, but so what? That wasn't supposed to justify why an energy spear of pink light rammed itself into the earth in front of him. And why there's a sexy lingerie model with black wings descending down from the sky. And why she had an expression that suggested how much she wanted to enact a large number of amorous ordeals on him.

"…Wait."

There's a lady. Flying right above him. Supposedly in the direction of the hills. And she's looking at him. And she's wearing a rather revealing outfit. Also, he could make out a cameltoe.

…

…

He could live with that.

Dante wolf whistled, "Nnneat."

The female smiled seductively, "You like what you see?"

"Oh, I like what I'm seeing." Dante folded his arms and continued checking out the lady giving him a show free of charge, showing no signs of keeping a guard up while keeping his trademark smirk. "Girl, you lookin' good."

The lady frowned for a bare moment, before she returned to her previous stupor. "With that cross on you, you must be a priest? Or an exorcist? I'm sure God doesn't want one of His own to be talking like that."

Dante looked at her as if she was crazy. "Lady, I'm sure God would consider it a sin not to glorify that ass."

"Ufufu~ you do have a way with words." She giggled with a hand over her mouth while forming a spear inconspicuously behind her. "Now be a gentleman and please die." She threw the spear that cut through the wind and exploded when it appeared to make contact with the white-haired hybrid. Seeing nothing coming out of the smoke, she grunted unladylike at the rather fast ending and turned around.

"Hey hey hey! What the hell was that for?!" The harpy froze when she heard an indignant voice coming behind her. Turning around, she narrowed her eyes at the seemingly unharmed Dante, only his clothes slightly ruffled as he stepped out miffed at the development. "Here I am, admiring you up and down like any guy would, and you throw a freakin' dildo bomb at me?!"

"Whuh?!" She let out a surprised squawk at his vulgar wording before calming down and forming another spear to rectify her mistake. "…So you're no ordinary mortal, huh? No matter, your fate has been sealed since you stepped into my presence."

"Fate." He raised a hand to his face and struck a pose. "The word every cheesy villain use before they get their ass handed to themselves. Ya coulda gone with somethin' less cliché, but ya went with that instead." Dante quipped back. That got an easy reaction out of the crow lady.

"Cheesy? Villain?! Cliché?! Who the hell do you think you are, making a mockery of Raynare of the Grigori?!" The now named Raynare demanded.

Dante's mouth shifted into a shit-eating grin. "I'm glad you asked!" He struck another pose, this one much more glamorous. "Feast your eyes upon me and burn it into your innermost memory! I am the man whose name makes both demons and men quiver in fear and women in lust… I am the all-powerful and infinitely sexy number one demon hunter you'll ever meet in your life… I am the cocky, white-haired, red-long coat wearing, demon-weapon-wielding badass, Tony Redgrave!"

"…"

"…"

All was silent as Raynare continued gawking at Dante. He began frowning with displeasure.

"…That didn't sound anywhere near as cool in my head," Dante turned his back on the harpy, who was gradually getting pissed by the seconds. He finally bumped his palm in realization. "Ah, of course. I'm missing my coat and the bitchin' speed metal music that was supposed to come with the intro!" True to his words, he's still wearing his school uniform and OH MY GOD, his blazer's ruined!

"Damnit, Nevan! Where the hell are you when I need you!? And you! I'm making you pay for ruining my blazer! It's the only one I got on hand!" Dante pointed petulantly at Raynare.

"Impudent buffoon!" She snapped, making Dante realize something.

'Huh. I don't curse often… it's gotta be the hormones, huh? Damn hormones.' He thought while tilting his body slightly to dodge a spear.

"Feisty, but not enough to be Dope!" Dante remarked, finally drawing out Ebony to shoot another incoming light spear dead on without looking, canceling out both projectiles and shocking the fallen angel in the process.

Ebony. The black handgun. One of the two custom-made and heavily modified M1911-style handgun chambered for the .45 ACP rounds. It's meant to be used left-handedly and features a hooked, two-handed trigger-guard with an ejection port on the left side, as well as a set of target sights. Its usage was primarily for long-distance targeting and comfort.

"A gun?!" Raynare didn't have enough time to react to the development, spending it on leaning back in time as Dante suddenly appeared in front of her and whipped the spinning gun at where her head was with a 'Wooh!'. She attempted to spear him head-on, only for him to whip her hand with the gun barrel and parry the blow towards his right, and again formed another spear in her other hand to stab him again, but-

"Not just a gun, milady… but two guns!" He took out Ivory and once more smacked her other hand with it, disarming the spear towards a nearby tree.

Ivory. The white handgun. The counterpart of Ebony and of the same type as said handgun. It's meant for the right hand and used a more traditional rounded trigger-guard with an ejection port on the right side, along with a pair of combat sights. Usage was primarily for rapid firing and fast draw times.

Along with Ebony, the pair was crafted by Nell Goldstein from the many busted pistols he brought in during his greenhorn years and was considered to be her final masterpiece. Engraved on their respective inward-facing side is 'Ebony & Ivory' in a cursive script along with the unique design of piano keys, and on the outward-facing sides a dedication to Dante, 'For Tony Redgrave, By .45 Art Warks'.

He pivoted around Raynare, bumping her playfully with his butt. Staggering and humiliated by his taunt, she rapidly turned around to see him walking up with a confident gait. She jumped and flew back to make distance, not wanting to know what else he'll do if she remained close.

"What's the point of using those guns if you're not going to shoot me?!"

"…Hm." Dante took a look at his trusty dual pistols before shrugging. "Well, I was afraid that if I 'banged' you, you wouldn't be able to handle it." He did mention being a teenager again, right? Right, good. "I mean, do you see the size of my guns? Not exactly something that any girl can handle, no matter how experienced."

"You… ingrate!" She hissed. Alright, that was a bit too easy.

"Alright, fine. Be that way." Dante placed Ivory at his mouth and took out the bokken strapped to his back. Nothing special about it, just an ordinary plastic stick he bought online. "Meet my sword." He said with a smile through gritted teeth. "It's long, hard, sharp at the tip, and once I insert it inside, you'll scream for hours!"

"You!" Her hiss turned into a flat-out shriek at the innuendo, before she hesitated when she saw something behind him.

The Devil Hunter turned around only to see nothing, then turned back to see a light spear sailing towards his head. He fired Ebony at the spear once again, only to see white after that. "…I will not forget this humiliation, mortal! Be lucky that I am in a good mood to spare your life!"

Once he regained his vision, Raynare had already escaped. Or had gotten out of his sights. Either way worked.

"…Well, that was a lame way to wrap things up. And it was a really short fight, too. What's the matter? Afraid of someone who can bite back?" Dante scoffed as he placed the bokken and his guns back in their respective places. "Well, too bad, lady! You were kind of my type, too! I even thought about being gentle for your sake."

Silence greeted him.

"Looks like my luck with the ladies really is that bad. There's Lady shooting me in the head, Trish zapping me, Patty redecorating the office with those cursed Hello Kitty dolls, Sona bitching about my conduct or whatever every day, and then this Raynare lady wanting to be the dominating partner in an S&M relationship."

Dante began surveying the area around him, arms akimbo. Noticing the many feathers left on the ground, he picked one of them up. His smirk fell for a moment.

"Luck aside, business has been at an all-time low…" He stared at the feather closely and began muttering lowly, "…Maybe a poster girl… and a secretary. Business began blooming when Trish came, however short it was… Alright! I need to find a sexy secretary! Preferably one that likes everything I like!"

Yep. He had his priorities straight. Rather than try and figure out why there were stuck-up homicidal harpies or fallen angels and whatever roaming around, he's more concerned about finding employees and placing all of his work on them instead.

Typical Dante, really.

"Now I know that there's a party brewing in this town." Dante smiled. "At least this time, there will be foods, drinks, and babes unlike the one Vergil threw. Let's see what the course has to offer, shall we?!"

With that, he threw his hands down to blow his blazers back and walked home, storing the feather in his pocket as he left.

A souvenir to remember this event.

A/N: Okay, quick note, and then I'll shut up. This is a story I'm doing leisurely. It means nothing is planned out beforehand, and everything was typed without much thoughts placed in them. That way, not a lot of pressure is on me whenever I'm doing whatever I'm doing.

I am not an organized or disciplined person.

Speaking of who I am, I'm not like fairy tail dragon slayer, who can pump out chapters upon chapters daily like a factory with no repercussions, no offense to the guy.

Anyways, review! Comment about Dante's supposed short attention span! And review again!

*LAST EDITED: 2/7/2018*

-DarkAkatsuk1