The Dream

There I stood once more in the room. The room with the frosted windows. The room with the rose walls. I was back in the memory. Trapped in my misery, I ran to the door and started down the hall. Yet, something held me in place. It was almost as if something was directing me somewhere else. Akin to the last time this memory claimed me, the victim, the children stumbled up the stairs laughing and whispering and laughing more. I was soon encompassed with the noise of music and children's giggling. The hallway seemed to be getting longer and longer the further I walked. When I would turn around I would be in the same place I started. Finally, I decided to turn around. If I couldn't go to the stairs I would go away from them. I turned around and walked to the other side. As I did so, the hall got colder and colder. It felt like I was walking in a blizzard. When I turned around the house was gone and all I could see was a forest that was dead and full of snow. I heard sirens blaring and the crackle of a raging fire. It was dark and yet so much light collected behind me. Afraid to turn around I simply fell to my knees. I no longer heard children laughing but rather crying. The sirens were getting louder and the light getting brighter and then it was gone, the dream, the memory, everything.

I sat up looking at the dull ceiling of the house I slept in. I got up, yawned, stretched and then made my way to the kitchen. The house was still cold, and I required coffee. I wondered about the shop. I wondered about the mysterious man. I thought about what he told me and thought about his daughter. My mind was cornered by thoughts. Bullied by various ideas. My mind wondered about the fire and the room, about the mysterious man's past, about what his daughter's scars look like. I got dressed and grabbed my cyan long-coat and ran out of the door.

Snow continuously fell, without lift. I hated the snow even more now, it was such a pretentious idea. People always became happy when they saw it, never truly seeing its destruction. The snow encompasses them and they start to laugh. Their ignorance only feeds the pain that I suffer from. Do they ever stop to think about the snow? How even when it is stained it simply covers it. Warm-blooded turns cold. It preserves the dead for us to find. As if wanting to see our face when the body appears from under the snow. Trying to make the sun evil because the sun melted the snow away. Snow is evil, it will always be that way.

I saw children playing in the snow on my way to the shop. I saw them laughing while making snow angels in the snow. They were stuffed with coats, gloves, scarves, boots, and caps. They were all bundled up hoping to stay away from the cold. Maybe that's how the snows evil stays hidden? I thought to myself. If we just hide from the truth then we will never find it. Especially when the snow covers its tracks. The children never felt cold. They were always covered with warm coats and scarves. Looking at them made me sick. Looking at them though, I understood them. Like them, I too was wearing a coat and a scarf and boots, but I saw the truth for what it was. I was the sun that harmful day. It was the sun…

Walking through the town I looked around at the tall buildings that people were staying in. I wondered what the man had said. Did they ever say thank you? Do they even care? I wondered. Suddenly I was overcome with this emotion that wanted to spread his message. I had never thought about anything like that before. Now that I have come to realize what he has said I have yet to forget it. 'Isn't it funny how common things are forgotten.' I looked around me at all the common things I saw every day. I saw a light post, carriages, buildings, windows, streets, and then I saw snow. I had thanked each one except snow. The snow was common in the town I lived in. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. I only looked at the pale substance that was stuck to the ground. I looked at it for a long moment before looking up to see people trampling over it. The snow was constantly stepped on, and then, for a small moment, I pitied the snow. I related to it, feeling everyone walk on you all the time. My mind was precarious, trying to be many things made it unsafe. Trying to be optimistic, when I was pessimistic. Trying to be charismatic, when I felt detestable. Trying to be perfect, when I was defective. I realized people only see an invulnerable girl who knew nothing of pain. Little was the truth shown that I was susceptible to pain far more than anyone.

I walked up to the shop door and saw the bell hanging above on the inside. The outside glass had a symbol on it that meant good luck. It had three flowers, one was a light pink colored rose, another was a light yellow rose, and the last was a light orange. Three of them branching out similar to a three-leaf clover. The colors were supposed to increase the amount of luck you would get. When you walk in it was said you were branded with good luck, and when you left you had to a good deed to keep the good luck with you. I never believed in luck. Maybe it's because I never had luck on my side. I walked in and sat at the same table as before. Looking out at the city again. I heard Jenny talking to the commoners behind me. I watched the streets start to fill with people and children. The snow continued to fall. I continued to fall.

"Would you like coffee today?" Jenny asked kindly.

"Yeah, that would be fine," I responded.

"Would you like some cherry pie as well?" She inquired.

I smiled slightly looking out the window still. I thought about the mysterious man. "No thank you, I'll be fine without it."

"Alright, I'll get the coffee right away."

I focused intently on the outside. Unlike last time I couldn't recall anything. Everything was just there. I didn't know what to think. My memories were scattered and unorganized. Looking out the window, the city started to fade. Fir trees sprouted and grew in seconds. Then, there I was in the house again, looking out the frosted windows that were no longer frosted. There was an entire forest outside. My room was now empty but I could see out the windows. The forest was still full of snow, and it was mostly white. Green patches were communicating that the forest was still there, but it mostly looked blank. Then, from behind the tree deer started to walk across the frozen forest. They seemed to be looking for food or shelter. Deer always seemed to be kind and loving creatures but also misunderstood. They were always hunted by my father. He loved to find the biggest pair of antlers and hang them above his fireplace.

I walked out the door, realizing I was wearing the light yellow ball gown again. Though, there was something different this time. The hall was completely empty, and it wasn't as long. The children's voices were gone as well as the music. It was different, it was younger. The houses' age had decreased. The house was new and it wasn't as home-like as before. Suddenly there was a deep voice that came from beyond the stairs. It sounded similar to the mysterious man from the shop. I walked to the end of the hall. This time I could reach the stairs. I looked down to see a grand living space. There were expensive chairs and couches. There was a large brick fireplace in the center, and bookshelves surrounded the entire room. The shelves were empty like the pictures that hung on the walls in the hallway. However, there was something distinct about the room. It was clear now that this house wasn't just a house but a mansion. But there was a picture, a large picture, hanging about the fireplace. It was of a woman who looked a little like me. She was beautiful and tranquil. She looked at peace just hanging on the wall. Of course, it was only a photo. Below the picture and in front of the fireplace stood a man. He looked alike to the mysterious man from the shop. Except he was younger and had a few aspects about him that set him apart from the mysterious man.

"Hello, my darling, so you have arrived here once more," he said in an unnerving manner.

"What do you mean by that?" I questioned.

He turned, looking at the fireplace. Then the sun seemed to set in seconds. The dark mahogany wood that made up the bookshelves became a tone of black. The large windows that sat above the bookshelves in the large room darkened as well. The portrait hanging on the wall became indistinguishable. Then when all light faded from the large room, a fire burst from the fireplace showing a dark man standing in front. He looked like an eerie shadow standing in front of the fire. He reached his hands out in search of warmth. Even though the wood was ablaze, the house was algid. I walked down the stairs, looking towards him. He didn't budge, not even for a moment. He stood as if stone. I walked a little closer to the fire, though, I was cold. The heat wasn't even warm, if I had the guts, I could have jumped into it.

"Why do you fear me?" He said in a deep voice.

"I… I'm not sure. I am just afraid of what you bring," I answered shakily.

"What do I bring?" He continued to ask.

"I'm here to seek information that you bring."

"What do I bring?" He asked again. This time even deeper.

"I said-" He interrupted.

"What do I bring? What do I bring? What do I bring?" He asked steadily one after the other in continuous repeat.

"Stop," I said calmly. "Stop. Stop! Stop! Stop!" I started to scream. I covered my ears, trying to block out the sound.

"Margrett?" A familiar voice called out. "Margrett!" This time it yelled.

Then it all faded back. I was there, in the shop, resting my head on the table. I lifted my head rather quickly. Then I looked out the window to see a storm emerging rather hastily. It seemed different for some reason, it was rain, not snow. Then, once more, the pity for the snow set in like the tide of an ocean. Slowly growing on the sand, destroying the sand. The rain would cut the snow like a knife. The snow would continuously burn in the water, the snow would perish.

"Looks like you really need coffee," Jenny said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, it seems so," I responded.

"Looks like a storm is brewing over the town," Jenny proclaimed.

"Yeah, it seems so," I responded.

"Are you going to repeat the same sentence each time?" Jenny said with a laugh.

"I guess I have been repeating myself."

"It's alright, you just need some coffee."

I heard the ring of the bell above the door and refocused my attention to it. A young woman was leaving and walked out lifted her umbrella as she did so. She looked both ways before crossing the street and then happily skipped across it. The snow was acting differently today I noticed, but for some unknown reason, I couldn't tell exactly what was wrong with it. I figured it was maybe the warm rain that made the snow suffocate. While looking out the window and following the young woman with my eyes I noticed the strange man from yesterday. I smiled briefly before focusing on him rather than the woman. He walked inside and looked a bit troubled. I looked at him and he looked at me. He staggered over and I could tell her was worried. He was sweating even though it was cold, and his eyes were a sort of wide that only mad people could project.

Sitting down quickly, he said, "Margrett, there's something I need to tell you." He sounded without breath. "There are some people who are not kind and they will stop at nothing to get their hands on you. I have left you something and I need you to find it. It is very important that you regard this with caution. Your memories are the same as mine, you are the same as me and you must realize who you are and why you must find the thing I am about to tell you. Promise me when I'm gone you will fight to find this treasure!" He now exclaimed.

"I… I don't know what you're talking about! What do you mean treasure? What are our memories and how are they the same?" I interrogated. I was confused but I could tell he was in a hurry so I remained quiet.

"Listen there isn't enough time to explain everything you have to follow me I will take you to a safe place and the people there will help you to discover who you truly are and you must promise to abide by their rules because they are there to help you and keep you safe even if it means to inflict harm on others." He now forcefully grabbed my hand and hurried me out the door. I looked at him with worry for his sanity, but he looked serious enough. We were walking to the door, but he held hesitation with each step he took as if unsure of his decision.

We walked to the door and he stopped me, turning in front of the doorway. He looked sad and unsure of this whole situation. I looked at him with gentle eyes hoping to calm his nerves, but it didn't seem to help in the least. I walked ahead of him and stood outside waiting. He looked at me and walked out as well. Though, before he could make it out there was a gunshot noise slightly heard under the noise of the stomping horses on the streets and the loud clap of the rain upon hitting the ground. Then in a chain reaction sort of way and icicle broke free and fell crashing into the mysterious man's head.

My eyes widened and I tried to scream but I couldn't. Automatically I realized it was set up and this wasn't just a mistake. I caught him as he fell and he looked up at me with his dying breath warming the air around him.

Quietly he began to speak, "you must find the ring, you must find… the…." He stopped talking and I knew he was gone. I held him closer as his blood ceased to pulse.

Jenny ran to me and pulled me away from him. I tried to refuse and push her away but she was intent on removing me from him. I looked at her with a fire in my eyes. I couldn't understand the meaning he tried to focus me on and this confusion turned into a flurry of rage.

"I… I… I want to see him!" I yelled audaciously.

"No, no, you can't!" Jenny yelled back at me.

"Let go, dammit! Let go of me! I Just want to see him one last time!" I exclaimed.

"No, I won't let you see it. You'll regret it. I know you will."

"Please, please just let me see him. I just wanted to ask him his name. I want to know his name. I want to meet his daughter. I want to help him. I want to share my memories with him. I want to tell him my story and listen to him." I told Jenny.

"Margrett, please, Margrett, this isn't a good idea. I know you're in anguish. Your desires have clouded your judgment, and now you must consider the impossible. That man has come here many times, every evening, yet nobody here knows him. You were the first person any commoners have seen talking to him. Please, control yourself."

Everything faded after that, everything. My memories, my faith, the snow, it was all gone. I found out later that I ended up fainting before I could see him. Jenny was thankful and claimed it was a blessing. I returned to the coffee shop every day after that at the exact time, the old man would. I ended up taking his schedule for my own. I didn't stay as long, and I never talked to anybody while in there. I would sometimes hope to have the same fate as him, but to no such luck did I have. I guess the door sign lied, or maybe I just wasn't doing it right. I never felt the same afterward, I mostly felt numb. I felt more and more like snow. I felt a sense of a cruel coldness swelling in my heart as I felt each beat pulse throughout my body. I was cold, not even hot coffee could warm me. Though coffee was a break from the frigid cold to a more tolerable frost, no matter how much coffee there was, or how hot it was, it was never enough to thaw me out of that state of emptiness.